the road to en-dor
by E.H.Jones
CHAPTER I
HOW SPOOKING BEGAN IN YOZGAD
0N an afternoon late in February 1917 a Turk mounted
on a weary horse arrived in Yozgad. He had come a
120-mile journey through snow-bound mountain passes from
railhead at Angora, and he carried a belated mail for us
prisoners of war.
I could not feel grateful to him, for my share was only one
postcard. It was from a very dear aunt. But I knew that
somewhere in the Turkish Post Office were many more-from
my wife, my mother, and my father. So I grumbled at all
things Ottoman. I did not know this innocent-looking piece
of cardboard was going to provide the whole camp with
a subject for discussion for a year to come, and
eventually prove the open sesame that got two of us out of
Turkey.
Mail Day at Yozgad meant visits. The proper thing to do,
after giving everybody time to read their letters several times
over, was to go from room to room and pick up such scraps of
war news as had escaped the eye of the censor. Some of us
received cryptograms, or what we thoughtwere cryptograms,
from which we could reconstruct the position on the various
fronts (if we had imagination enough), and guess at the
progress of the war. The news that somebody's father's
trousers had come down was, I remember, the occasion of a
very merry evening, for it meant that Dad's Bags (or Baghdad)
had fallen at last. If, as occasionally happened, we found
hidden meanings where none was intended, and captured Metz
or Jerusalem long before such a possibility was dreamt of in
England, it did more good than harm, for it kept our optimism
alive.
I allowed the proper period to elapse and then crossed to
the Seaman's room. "Come in," said Tudway to my enquiring
head, " Mundey has been round already and we can give
you all the news." (Mundey was our Champion Cryptogrammist.)
We discussed the various items of news in the usual way,
and decided that the war could not possibly last another three
months. Then Alec Matthews turned to me:
" Had you any luck, Bones ? What's your mail ? "
" Only a postcard," I said. " No news in it, but it suggests
a means of passing the evenings. I'm fed up with roulette
and cards myself, and I'd like to try it."
" What's the suggestion ? " Alec asked.
" Spooking," said I.
" Cripes ! " said Alec.
We began next night, a serious little group of experimenters
from various corners of the earth. Each of us in his own
little sphere had seen something of the wonders of the world
and was keen to learn more.
There was " Doc." O'Farrell,
the bacteriologist, who had fought sleeping-sickness in
Central Africa. He argued that the fact that we could not see
them was no proof that spooks did not exist, and told us of
things revealed by the microscope, things that undoubtedly
" are there," with queer shapes and grisly names. (The
pictures he drew of some of his pet " bugs " gave me a new
idea for my next nightmare.)
Then there was Little, the
geologist from the Sudan, who knew all about the earth and
the construction thereof, and had dug up the fossilized remains
of weird and enormous animals. His pets were as big as the
Doc.'s were small.
There was Price, the submarine man
from under the sea, and Tudway (plain Navy) from on top of
it. And there is a saying about those who go down to the
sea in ships which was never truer than of these two men.
There was Matthews, from India, sapper and scientist. He
knew all about wireless telegraphy and ether and the various
lengths of the various kinds of waves, and he did not see why
'thought waves' should not exist in some of the gaps in
the series which we thought to be empty. And there was the
writer, who knew nothing of scientific value. He had studied
psychology at College, and human nature amongst the jungle
folk in Burma.
Such was the group which first took up spooking. None of
us knew anything about the subject, but my postcard gave
clear instructions and we followed them. Matthews brought
out the best table we possessed (a masterpiece made by Colbeck
out of an old packing-case), and Doc. groomed the top of it
with the corner of his embassy coat, so as to make it slippery
enough for the Spook to slide about on with comfort.
Tudway and Price cut out squares of paper, and Little
wrote a letter of the alphabet on each and arranged them in a
circle round the edge of the table. I polished the tumbler in
which we hoped to capture the Spook, and placed it upside
down in the centre of the circle. Everything was ready. We
had constructed our first "Ouija."
" Now what do we do ? " Doc. asked.
" Two of us put a finger lightly on the glass, close our eyes
and make our minds blank."
"Faith!" said the Doc., " we'd better get a couple of Red
Tabs from the Majors' House ; this looks like a Staff job.
An' what next ? "
"Then the glass should begin to move about and touch
he letters. Somebody must note down the ones touched."
Doc. sat down and put his forefinger gingerly on the glass.
I took the place opposite him. Price and Matthews, pencil
in hand, leant forward ready to take notes.
Little and Tudway and Dorling and Boyes stood round to watch developments.
Doc. and I closed our eyes and waited, fingers resting
lightly on the glass, arms extended. For perhaps fifteen
minutes there was a tense silence and our arms grew unendurably numb. Nothing happened.
Our places at the table were taken by two other investigators,
and theirs in turn by two more, but always with a
total absence of any result. We warmed the glass over a
tallow candle-somebody had said it was a good thing to
do- and re-polished the table. Then Doc. and I tried
again.
" Ask it some question," Price whispered.
" WHO-ARE-YOU ? "said the Doc. in sepulchral tones,
and forthwith I was conscious of a tilting and a straining in the
glass, and then, very slowly, it began to move in gradually
widening circles. It touched a letter, and the whole company
craned their necks to see it.
"B!" they whispered in chorus.
It touched another. "R!" said everybody.
" I believe it is going to write 'Brown,' " said Dorling,
and the movement suddenly stopped.
" There ye go spoilin' everything with yer talkin'," growled
the Doc., his Irish accent coming out under the influence of
excitement. " Will ye hold your tongues now, and we'll be
after tryin' again ! "
We tried again-we tried for several nights-but it was no
use. The glass did not budge, or, if it did, it travelled in small
circles and did not approach the letters. We blamed our
tools for our poor mediumship and substituted a large
enamelled tray for the table, which had a crack down the
centre where the glass used to stick. The tray was an
improvement and we began to reach the letters. But we
never got sense. The usual seance was something like this
Doc. : " Who are you ? "
Answer: " DFPBJQ."
Doc. : " Try again.       Who   are   you ? "
Answer
" DFPMGJQ."
Matthews : " It's obviously trying to say something-the
same letters nearly, each time. Try again."
Doc. : " Who are you ? "
Answer: " THRSWV."
Matthews : " That's put the lid on. Ask something else."
Doc. : " Have you anything to say? "
Answer: " WNSRY-
KXCBJ," and so on, and so on, page after page of meaningless
letters. It grew monotonous even for prisoners of war, and in
time the less enthusiastic investigators dropped out. At the
end of a fortnight only Price, Matthews, Doc. O'Farrell and
myself were left.
We were intrigued by the fact that the glass
should move at all without our consciously pushing it-I shall
never forget Alec Matthews's cry of wonder the first time he
felt the " life " in the glass-and we persevered.
Then our friend Gatherer came in. He said he didn't care
very much for this sort of thing, but he knew how to do it
and would show us. He placed his fingers on the glass and
addressed the Spook. We, as became novices, had always
shown a certain respect in our manner of questioning the
Unknown. Gatherer spoke as if he were addressing a
defaulter, or a company on parade, with a ring in his voice which
indicated he would stand no nonsense.
And forthwith the
glass began to talk sense. Its answers were short-usually
no more than a " yes " or a " no "-but they were certainly
understandable. Once more we were all intensely interested.
Gatherer did more than add fuel to the waning fire of our
enthusiasm. He presented us with his own spookboard,
which he and another officer had made some months before,
and used in secret. It was a piece of sheet iron on which
the glass moved much more smoothly than on the tray or
the table, and he suggested pasting down the letters in such
a way that they could not be knocked off by the movement
of the glass. Later on Matthews still further improved it by
adding a raised " scantling " round the edge which prevented
the glass from leaving the circle.
Gatherer was in great request, for without him we could
get nothing, try we never so hard. But he would not come-
he " disliked it "-he " had other things to do," he " might
come to-morrow," and so on. Ah, Gatherer, you have much
to answer for! Had you never shown us that intelligible
replies could be obtained, I might have remained an honest
little enquirer, happy in the mere moving of the glass. But
now, mere movement was no longer satisfying. We were
tired of our own company, and knew one another as only
fellow-prisoners can. We wanted a chat with somebody
" outside," somebody with ideas culled beyond our prison
walls, whose mind was not an open book to us, whose thoughts
were not limited to the probable date of the end of the war or
of the arrival of the next mail from home. It did not matter
who it was-Julius Caesar or Socrates, Christopher Columbus
or Aspasia (it is true we rather hoped for Aspasia, especially
the Doc.), but any old Tom, or Dick, or Harry would have
been welcome. You ought to have known that, Gatherer,
for you were a prisoner, too ; but you were callous, and left
us alone to record our meaningless X's, and Y's and Z's.
After another week of failure we grew desperate. " If we
get nothing to-night," said Matthews, " we'll chuck it."
We tried hard, and got nothing.
" One more shot, Bones," said the Doc., sitting down
opposite me.
I glanced at him, and from him to Price and Matthews.
Disappointment was written on every face. Success had
seemed so near, and we had laboured so hard. Was this to
end as so many of our efforts at amusement had ended, in utter
boredom?
The doctor began pulling up the sleeves of his coat as
though he were leading a forlorn hope.
" Right you are, Doc." I put my fingers on the glass.
"One more shot," and as I said it the Devil of Mischief that is
in every Celt whispered to me that the little man must not go
empty away. We closed our eyes.
" For the last time," said the Doc.
" WHO   -   ARE   -     YOU? "
The glass began to move across the board.
" S-," Matthews read aloud, " A - L - L - Y   -SALLY!"
" Sally," Price repeated, in a whisper.
" Sally," I echoed again.
The Doc. wriggled forward in his chair, tugging up his coatsleeves.
" Keep at it," he whispered excitedly. " Keep at
it, we've got one at last." And then in a loud voice that had
A slight quaver in it-
" GOOD EVENING, SALLY I HAVE YE ANYTHIN'
TO TELL US ? "
Sally had quite a lot to tell us. She made love to Alec
Matthews (much to his delight) in the most barefaced way,
and then coolly informed him that she preferred sailor-boys.
Price beamed, and replied in fitting terms. She talked
seriously to the Doc. (who had murmured-out of jealousy, I
expect-that Sally seemed a brazen hussy), and warned us to
be careful what we said in the presence of a lady. (That
" presence of a lady " startled us - most of us hadn't seen a
lady for nearly three years). She accused me of being
unbecomingly dressed. (Pyjamas and a blanket -quite respectable for a prisoner.)
Then she complained of" feeling tired,"
made one or two most unladylike remarks when we pressed
her to tell us more, and " went away."
I had fully intended to tell them that I had steered the
glass, with my eyes shut, from my memory of the position of
the letters. But the talk became too good to interrupt.
There were theories as to who Sally could be. Was she dead,
or alive, or non-existent?
Was the glass guided by a spook
or by subconscious efforts? Then round again on to the
old argument of why the glass moved at all. Was it the
unconscious exercise of muscular force by one or both of the
mediums or was it some external power ? I lay back and
listened to the sapper and the submarine man and the scientist
from Central Africa. Others dropped in and added their
voices and extracts from their experience to the discussion.
Dorling had schoolboy reminiscences of a thought-reading
entertainment, which was somehow allied to the subject in
hand. Winnie Smith knew someone-I think it was one of
his second cousins in Russia, or a crowned head, or somebody
of the kind-who had a pet spook in the house. I told my
story of the dak bungalow in Myinmu Township in Burma,
where there is a black ghost-dog, who does not mind revolver
bullets. We talked, and we talked, and we talked, forgetting
the war and the sentries outside and all the monotony of
imprisonment. And always the talk rounded back to Sally
and the spook-glass that moved no one knew how. The
others slipped away to bed, and we were left alone. Alec,
Price, the Doc., and myself. I braced myself to confess the
fraud, but Doc. raised his tin mug:
"Here's to Sally and success, and many more happy
evenings," said he.
Facilis descensus Averni! I lifted my mug with the rest,
and drank in silence. Little I guessed how much water was
to flow under the bridges before I could make my confession, or
under what strange conditions that confession was to be made.
Next day I woke-a worm. I felt as if I had caught myself
taking sweeties from a child. They had all accepted the
wonder of the previous night so uncritically. It was a
shame. It was unforgivable! I would get out of bed. I
would go across and tell them at once.
" Don't," said the Devil of Mischief. " Stay where you
are. It was only a rag. If you really want to tell them, any
old time will do. Besides, it's beastly cold this morning, and
you've got a headache. Stay in bed !"
" But it wasn't a rag. We were experimenting in earnest,"
said I. " That's why it was so mean." I got one foot out
of bed.
" Stay where you are, I tell you," said the Devil. " You
gave them a jolly good evening, and you can have plenty more."
I pulled my foot back under the blankets again. Yes, we
had had a jolly evening-the Doc. himself had said so. I
would think it over a little longer.
I thought it over-and started up again.
" You ass ! " said the Devil. " They'll only laugh at you!
The whole thing's a fraud, anyway. Let them find out for
themselves. Oliver Lodge, Conan Doyle, and the rest of
the precious crew are victims in the same way."
" I won't," said I. " I'm going to tell them." I got up
and dressed slowly.
" See here," said the Devil. " What you gave them last
night was something new to talk about. Carry on! It does
them good. It sets them thinking. Carry on! "
" And what sort of a swine will I look when they find me
out ? " said I.
" But they wont," said the Devil.
" But they will-they must," said I, and opened the door.
On the landing outside was our " Wardie," once of America,
doing Muller's exercises to get the stiffness out of his wounded
shoulder. That was a Holy Rite, which nothing was allowed
to interrupt. But to-day he stopped and faced me. I think
my Devil must have entered into him.
" Hello, Bones, you sly dog ! " said he.
" What's up, Wardie ? "
" Oh, you don't get me with your larks," he said, grinning
at me. " I know you, you old leg-puller ! "
I made to pass on.
" You and your Sally," he chuckled.
" Oh, that! " I said, and tried again to pass.
" Come on, Bones," he continued ; " how d'you do it ? "
" Why, that's spooking, Wardie," said I.
" Oh, get on with you ! You don't catch me! I'm too old
a bird, Sonny. How's it done ? "
" You've seen ! You sit with your fingers on a glass, and
the glass moves about."
" Yes, yes, it moves all right. But this Sally business? These answers ? "
" That's what everybody's trying to find out, Wardie."
" I'll find out one of these fine days, Bones me boy!"
He dug his thumb into my ribs and laughed at me.
" Right-o, Wardie," said I, and went back into my room.
My dander was up.
(Of course neither this nor any other of the conversations in the
book claims to be a verbatim report of what was said. Such a thing
would be difficult to give even after twenty-four hours -much more so
after two years. These conversations are " true " in the sense that
they are faithful reconstructions of my recollection of what took place.
Every event mentioned in the book occurred.)
CHAPTER II
HOW THE CAMP TURNED SPIRITUALIST
I MADE up my mind to rag for an evening or two more and
to face the music, when it came, in the proper spirit.
There was a recognized form of punishment at Yozgad for a
"rag." It was a "posh." In my case, with Doc.,
Matthews, Price, and of course the Seaman (who always joined
in on principle) as my torturers, I expected it would be a
super-posh, and trembled accordin'. I had no doubt in my
own mind that discovery would come very soon.
(I believe the English language is indebted to Lieutenant L. C. P.
TUDWAY, R.N., for the invention of this word. A " posh " is a good
tempered cross between a riot and a Rugby scrum. The object of the
'poshers' is conjointly and severally to sit upon the victim and to
pinch, smack, tickle, or otherwise torture him until he begs for mercy.)
When evening came round, there were Alec, Doc., and
Price waiting round the spook-board with their tongues out,
wanting more " Sally." I sat down with the unholy joy of
the small boy preparing a snowball in ambush for some huge
and superior person of uncertain temper, and with not a
little of his fear of being found out before the snowball gets
home on the target.
" Now, Doc.," said I, trying to avert suspicion from myself
"don't you get larking. I'm beginning to suspect you."
" And I'm suspecting you," he laughed. " Come on, ye
old blackguard ! "
We started, and for several minutes got nothing but a
series of unintelligible letters. The reason for this was simple
enough. The " medium's " mind was blank. I hadn't the
foggiest notion of what to say, and could only push the glass
about indiscriminately. Matthews and Price faithfully noted
down every letter touched. This kept everybody happy, and
as a matter of fact, formed a useful precedent for future
occasions.
"It's there all right," said Alec. " Keep it up, you fellows!
We'll get something soon."
Gatherer came in, and after watching for a minute gave
an order to the Spook in his parade voice : " Go round and look
at your letters."
The indiscriminate zigzagging stopped and the glass went
round the circle slowly.
"Gee! Snakes!" said Alec. " That's the stuff
Gatherer ; give It some more!"
" No sense in being afraid of the blighter," said Gatherer.
"Here! Stop going round now! Tell us who you are!"
" Go--to--hell! " came the answer.
Gatherer was not abashed. " Is that where you are? "
he asked, and the Spook began to swear most horribly. My
mind was no longer blank; it teemed with memories of my
court in Burma, and the glass said to Gatherer what the old
bazaar women of the East say to one another before they get
"run in."
" All right, old chap," said Gatherer. " That's enough.
I'm sorry. I apologise."
"Go away," said the Spook, and until Gatherer obeyed the
glass would do nothing but repeat, " Go away," " Go away,'
to every question that was asked.
Looking back, I can see this was an important episode.
Of course the glass wrote " go away " because I could think of
nothing better to say at the moment (practice was to make my
imagination much more fertile), and it kept on repeating the
request because I had begun to wonder if I really could make
Gatherer leave the room.
" Shall I go ? " Gatherer asked.
" Faith! You'd better," said the Doc., " or who knows
what It will be saying next? "
Gatherer went, and the Spook began to write again. It
might well do so, for It had begun to establish its 'Authority.'
Now, for successful spooking, 'Authority' is all-important,
the utterances of a medium 'under control' must be, and are
for the believer, the object of an unquestioning reverence.
I have two small mites of children. They usually demand
a " story " of an evening. Since my return they have
gradually established a precedent, and it has become a condition for
their going to bed. I take them on my knees, their silky hair
against my cheeks, and look into the fire for inspiration about
" elephants " or " tigers " or " princesses," or whatever may
be the subject of immediate interest and then I begin. I don't
go very far without a question, and when that is successfully
negotiated there are two more questions on the ends of their
restless tongues. The linked answers comprise the story.
Nobody makes any bones about the credibility of it, because
" father tells it." Thousands of other fathers are doing the
same every day. Parents yet to be will continue the good
work for the generations unborn.
What the parent is for the child, the medium is for " believers."
The gentle art, as Hill (my ultimate partner in the
game) and I know it, is merely a matter of shifting the authorship
of the answers from yourself to some Unknown Third,
whose authority has become as unquestionable to the " sitter "
as the father's is to the child. Once that is achieved the
problem in each case is precisely the same. It consists in
answering questions in a manner satisfactory to the audience.
I also find there is no fundamental difference in the material
equired for the "links." Granted the "authority," the same
sort of stuff pleases them all alike, children and grown-up
"sitters." If you have ever watched a true believer at a
sitting you will know exactly what I mean ; and if you can
describe the palace of an imaginary princess, you can also
describe the sixth, or seventh, or the eighth "sphere." But of
course you must always be careful to call it a "palace" in the
one instance, and a "sphere" in the other.
I did not realize this all at once. I did not set out with
any scheme of building up the Spook's authority. I laid out
for myself no definite line of action against my friends. My
policy, in fact, was that by which our own British Empire has
grown. I determined to do the job nearest to hand as well
as I could, and to tackle each problem as it arose. I would
"rag around a bit" and then withdraw as soon as circumstances
permitted me to do so gracefully. But circumstances
never permitted. One thing led to another, and my "commitments"
in the spook-world grew steadily, as those of our
Empire have done in this.
Nor, needless to say, did I see at this time the faintest
resemblance betwen Alec calling for " Sally " and my small
boy demanding a " story " at my knee. To me, Alec and
Doc and Price (not to mention the rest of the camp) were
grown men, thewed and sinewed, with the varied store of
wisdom that grown men acquire in their wanderings up and
down the wide seas and the broad lands of this old Empire
of ours. They were " enquirers "-not " true believers " as
yet and as I was to find out in due course, they were " no
mugs " at enquiring. I could only hug myself at the idea of
the poshing I would get when the rag was discovered, and
fight my hardest to ward off the evil day.
Soon after Gatherer left the room my career as a medium
almost came to an inglorious end. The trap into which I
nearly fell was not consciously set, so far as I am aware, for
in those early days when everything was fresh the interest
of the audience was centred more in the substance of the
communications than in the manner in which they were produced.
The situation arose in this way : being a medium was a
tiring game. An hour on end of pushing the glass about at
arm's length required considerable muscular effort. Your
arm became as heavy as lead ; until we got into training Doc
and I had to take frequent rests. This fatigue was natural
enough, and everybody knew of it, but nobody knew that
practically the whole of my body was subjected to a physical
strain. At this period of my mediumship I used to close my
eyes quite honestly ; I was therefore obliged to remember the
exact position of each letter, not only in its relation to other
letters but also to myself, so as to be able to steer the glass
to it. The slightest movement of the spook-board, caused
for example, by my sleeve or the Dec.'s catching on the
edge of it, as sometimes happened, was sufficient to upset
all my calculations until I had had an opportunity of glancing
at it again. I used to try to guard against this by resting my
left hand lightly on the edge of the board. I could then feel
any movement, and at the same time my left hand formed a
guide to my right, for, before closing my eyes, I used to note
what letter my little finger was resting on. I had two other
guides-my right and my left foot under the table gave me the
angles of two other known letters. If the reader will try and
sit for an hour, moving his right hand freely, but with both
feet and the left hand absolutely still, he will understand why
indefinite sittings were impossible. Add to this the
concentration of mind necessary to remember the letters, to
invent suitable answers to questions, and to spell them out.
" I am fagged out," I said wearily. " Don't you feel the
strain, Doc. ? "
" Only my arm." He rubbed the numbness out of it.
"Come on, Bones, let's get some more ; this is interesting."
" I'm dead beat. I feel it all over me. It seems to take a
lot out of me."
The three looked at me curiously. They obviously
regarded me as a medium who had been under " control."
(En passant, I wonder if the " exhaustion " of all mediums after
seance is not due to similar causes ?)
" Right you are, Bones," said Price, " I'll take your place.
You come and note down."
I took his pencil and notebook, and he sat down to the
board with the Doc. The glass moved and touched letters,
but they made, of course, nothing intelligible. After a space,
when I had rested, Doc. said his arm was tired and suggested I
should take his place. I did so. Price and I were now at the
glass. Somebody asked a question. I started to reply in the
usual way, but luckily realized in time what I was doing, and
instead of giving a coherent answer, allowed the glass to
wander among the X's and Y's at its own sweet will. It had
passed across my mind that so long as I obtained answers
only when the Doc. was my partner, no " sceptic " could tell
which of the two of us was controlling the glass. If, on the
ther hand, I obtained answers in conjunction with others as
well as when with the Doc., while no other pair in combination
could do so, I was clearly indicated as the control, and a very
simple process of elimination would doom me to discovery. I
therefore came to a hurried decision that only when the Doc.
was my partner should the Unknown be allowed to speak, and
it was not till long after the Spook had proved to the
satisfacion of our " enquirers " its own separate existence that I
permitted myself to break this resolution.
So Price and I continued to bang out unintelligible answers
until everybody was tired of it. Matthews, who amongst
other objectionable pieces of knowledge had acquired
something of Mathematics, then worked out the Combinations and
permutations of four spookists, two together, and insisted
we should test them all. We did. The only result was pages
of Q's and M's, of X's, Y's and Z's. Bones and the Doc. were
the only pair who got answers.
At our after-seance talk, this led to a new discovery-new
that is, for us. It was obvious that mediums must be en
rapport! We attacked the subject from all sides, and as
usual others joined in our discussion. When I went to bed
Matthews was demonstrating, with the aid of two tallow
candles on a deal box, something about wave-lengths, and
positive and negative electricity, and tuning up and down
the same pitch. I am sure I don't know what it was all
about, but it clearly proved the necessity of something being
en rapport with something else in the material world.
Therefore why not the same necessity for spiritual things? So far
as I remember, Alec, old man, your theory was quite sound
it was your facts that were wrong! Perhaps I should
have told you so, and saved you much hard thinking : but
put yourself in my place -wasn't it fun?
Thus we continued for several evenings. The camp looked
on with mingled amusement and interest. Our seances began
to he a popular form of evening entertainment. Quite a
little crowd would gather round the board, and ask questions
of the Spook.
For the most part, at this stage, the audience
were sceptical-they suspected a trick somewhere, though
they could not imagine how it was done. Curiously enough
suspicion centred not on me, but on the perfectly innocent
Doctor. The poor man was pestered continually to reveal
the secret. He swore vehemently that he had nothing to do
with it, but it was pointed out to him that the glass only
wrote when he was there-a fact he could not deny.
This sceptical attitude of the camp was of the utmost value
to me. It amounted to a challenge and spurred me to fresh
efforts. The whole affair being a rag, with no definite aim in
view, it would not have been fair play to the enquirers to
have told an out-and-out lie. But I considered it quite
legitimate to dodge their questions if I could do so successfully .
The is following is a type of the conversations that were common
iii this period:
" Look here, Bones, is this business between you and the
Doc. straight ? "
"How do you mean, 'straight'?"
" This spooking business! Is it genuine ? "
" Jack," I would say confidentially (or Dick, or Tom, as the
case might be), " I'll tell you something. The whole thing
is mysterious. I assure you there is no
arrangement whatsoever between the Doc. and myself. The camp think we are
in league for a leg-pull. But we're not. We took this
business up as an enquiry -see, here's the original postcard."
And I would produce the well-worn bit of cardboard which
first suggested the spooking, and gently disentangle Jack's
fingers from my buttonhole.
Perhaps " Jack " would be satisfied and go away, or perhaps
he would be a persistent blighter and carry on.
" But how is it done, Bones ? "
" You mean, what makes the glass move ? "
" Well-yes."
" My own theory-it may be wrong, of course, because I've
never done much at Psychical Research -my own theory is
that the movement must be due to muscular action on the
part of the mediums. I believe Oliver Lodge and those other
Johnnies hold that the muscular action is subconscious, but
that is Tommy-rot. Anything is subconscious so long as you
don't think of the process of thought, and nothing is
subonscious so long as it is known. Besides," I would add,
looking up into my questioner's face as innocently as I could, " as
soon as the glass begins to move about I am quite conscious of
very movement. That's straight. The Doc. will tell you
the same thing. I must admit that he has often pointed out
to me that one seems to be following the glass about. He has
been analysing his own sensations from the medical point of
view, and he is rather interesting on this point. You should
ask him about it."
" I will," Jack would say, and off he would go to cross-
examine the poor old Doc.
Probably Dick or Tom had been listening to our conversaion,
and would now chip in with
" That's all very well, Bones, but I believe you're playing
the fool all the time. Now aren't you ? "
" Right-o, Dick! If you like to think I'm ass enough to
sit there night after night for the mere lark of the thing,
you're welcome."
"But the whole affair's absurd, impossible," Dick would
protest.
" You say so, but what about Oliver Lodge? He has
studied this business for years, and swears he gets into
communication with the next world in this way. And he is a
scientist my boy, while you are a plain soldier man and don't
know your arm from your elbow in these matters. A few
years ago I expect you were saying that wireless telegraphy
and flying and all the rest of our modern scientific marvels
were impossible. You are the conservative type of fellow
who doesn't believe a thing possible until he can do it himself.
Why, you old idiot, for all you know you may be a
medium yourself. Why don't you come along and try some
night ? "
And Dick would come, and try, and get nothing!
I was often grateful in those days for my past experience
as a magistrate in Burma. My study of law and lawyers
helped me considerably in the gentle art of drawing a red
herring across my questioners' train of thought.
I was beginning to think that the business had gone on long
enough and it was time to confess, when Fate stepped in
again. Intrigued by our success, several other groups of
experimenters had been formed in the camp, notably in the
Hospital House. One fine morning we were electrified by
the news that there also "results" had been obtained.
The Doc. came up to me as I was walking in the lane. He
was all bunched up with glee.
" Faith," he said to me, "the sceptics have got it in the
neck! Here's Nightingale and Bishop been an' held a long
conversation with the spooks last night."
" I don't see that that will make much difference to the
sceptics," said I.
"But I do," said the Doc. " The camp doesn't believe
in it now because you're you and I'm me. But who in
Turkey or out of it can suspect fellows like Bishop and
Nightingale ?--that's what I want to know."
" And why not suspect Bishop and Nightingale ? " I asked.
" Ach! ye might as well suspect a babe unborn. Not one
of the two of them has the imagination of a louse. They're
plain, straightforward Englishmen -not Celtic fringe like you
an' me an' the camp knows it."
" But don't you suspect them yourself ? " I asked. " You
said the other day that you suspected me, you know."
" So I did, but that's different, as I say. These two are
genuine enough."
" No doubt," said I, for I was quite open-minded about
the possibilities of 'spooking'. " Whom were they talking
to last night ? "
" Oh just Sally, and Silas P. Warner, and that lot," said
the Doc. " Same crowd of spooks as we get ourselves."
I glanced at him to see if he was joking. He wasn't.
Lord ! Doc. dear, how I longed to laugh !
Either Nightingale or Bishop (I did not know which at the
time) was fudging. I knew this for certain because they were
using " spooks " of my own creation. It puzzled me at the
time to know why they should not have invented spooks of
their own. I learned long afterwards that mine were adopted
because it was thought that my show was possibly genuine.
If so, what could be more natural than that the spirits which
haunted the Upper House should also be found next door?
The position was now rather funny. I knew, of course,
that both " shows " were frauds. The villain of the piece in
the Hospital House knew his own show was a fraud, but was
not sure about mine. The majority of the camp, on the
other hand, were inclined to think there might be something
in the Hospital House exhibition, although they had viewed
mine with suspicion. But if they accepted the Hospital
House, they had to accept ours too, the spooks being the
same. And, in the course of time, that was what happened.
The development in the Hospital House had another result.
My little " rag " was assuming larger proportions than I had
intended, and as often happens in this funny old world,
circumstances were beginning to tie me up. I could not now confess
without giving somebody else away at the same time as
myself. Besides, I did not very much want to confess. The
"conversion" of a large portion of the camp was in sight,
for Doc. was quite right in his analysis of the situation, and
he entry of Bishop and Nightingale on the scene had disposed
everybody to further enquiry into the matter. The position
was beginning to have a keen psychological interest for me.
So I compromised with my conscience. Freeland drew
for me a fitting poster--a picture of a spook-glass and board,
and beneath it I placed a notice which said that ours was the
original Psychical Research Society of Yozgad, that it had no
connection with any other firm, and that we held seances on
stated evenings. Our fellow-prisoners were asked to attend.
The closest inspection was invited. The poster ended by
saying that the mediums each suspected the other and would
welcome any enquirer who could decide how the rational
movements of the glass were caused. Muscular action,
thought transference, spiritualism and alcoholism were
suggested to the camp as possible solutions.
Shortly after this notice was put up, Doc. and I were asked
if we objected to a series of" tests."
Doc., strong in his own
innocence, welcomed the suggestion. As for me, it was exactly
what I wanted-the raison d'etre of my notice. Up to now
it had been " a shame to take the money." This put us on a
reasonable basis. If all were discovered, as I expected would
be the case, I'd get my poshing, there would be a good laugh
all round, and that would be the end of it. If by any fluke of
fortune I survived, the testers would only have themselves to
blame afterwards. It was now a fair fight-my wits against
the rest-catch as catch can, and all grips allowed. Neither
the Doc. nor I made any conditions, nor did we want to know
beforehand the nature of the tests to which we were to be
subjected.
But I took my precautions. I secretly nicked the edges of
the circle on which the letters were written in such a way that
I could always recognize, by touch, the position of the board.
CHAPTER III
HOW THE MEDIUMS WERE TESTED
THERE was an empty room that formed part of
the passage-way between the two portions of the Upper
House. It was insanitary, draughty, and cheerless. It had
an uneven brick floor of Arctic coldness. The view from
the broken-paned, closely-barred window was restricted to a
blank wall and a few ruined houses. Here, in the early days
before the Turk increased our accommodation, five unhappy
officers of the Worcester Yeomanry had learned the full
bitterness of captivity. They were not very big men, but
when they were all lying down on the floor together (as they
usually were, poor devils) there was barely space to step
between them, which shows the size of the room. Of its
general undesirability no better proof is wanted than that it
remained uninhabited after the " Cavalry Club " had found
better quarters. One thing only would have induced anyone
to take up his dwelling there-the hope of privacy. But the
room was not even private. It was a thoroughfare, the only
means of getting from the northern to the southern half of
the house.
It was not allowed to remain quite idle. Its dirty " white "-
washed walls, brushwood ceiling, broken windows, and uneven
floor saw the birth of many schemes for alleviating the
monotony of existence in Yozgad. Here was rehearsed our
first Christmas Pantomime-" The Fair Maid of Yozgad "-
which is perhaps unique amongst pantomimes in that it had
to be performed secretly, at midnight, after the guards had
done their nightly round. For in it Holyoake and Dorling
had given full rein to our feelings towards our captors, and it
would not have been polite-or judicious-for " honoured
guests " to have expressed themselves quite so freely in public.
Here Sandes's orchestra of home-made instruments used to
hold their practices, which caused a keen student of Darwin
to vow he had no further interest in one branch of evolution-
that of music. Here " Little, Stoker & Co." made their
gallant attempt to start an illicit still, and here, finally, the
" Spook " took up his abode.
The tests were spread over several evenings. I can only
give brief samples of what occurred. When Doc. and I sat
down to the table we were the centre of a little crowd of
spectators and " detectives," for there was nothing secret
about the seances.
" Bandage the beggars for a start," somebody suggested.
Handkerchiefs were tied round our eyes.
" Who are you ? " asked Alec.
The glass began to move about. I was writing rubbish.
Some sceptic laughed.
" Wait a bit," said Price. " It always begins like that.
Now who are you ? "
" S-I-double L-Y, Silly ! " the sceptic read out " That's
rather a poor shot for 'Sally.' The bandage affects the
Spook, it seems."
" A-S-S," the Spook went on. " I-T M-A-K-E-S N-O
I D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-C-E."
" We'll see ! " said the sceptic. I felt the board being
moved under my hand. " Now who are you ? "
As the glass circled under my right hand, I felt for and
found the secret nicks with my left thumb.
" U T-H-I-N-K U A-R-E C-L-E-V-E-R."
Slim Jim was lounging about the room. He was Doc.'s
prize patient and was at that time afflicted with the enormous
appetite that follows a long bout of dysentery and fever.
" Poses as a thought-reader, does he? " he said. " Here!
What am I thinking about ? "
" Your dinner," said the Spook, and everybody laughed.
And so on. Mistakes were made, of course, and the glass
frequently went to " next-door " letters, but not more so than
on ordinary occasions. It became generally accepted by the
company that whether the mediums had their eyes bandaged
or not, and whether the position of the board was altered or
not, it made no difference.
Once, when the board was moved, my questing thumb
failed to locate the nicks! I was in a quandary, for I dared
not feel openly for the guiding marks. But I got my position
in another way. The glass began to bang away at one spot.
" Right," said Matthews. " Get on."
Still the glass banged away at the same letter.
" All right, I've got that one," Alec repeated.
But the glass paid no attention. It continued the
monotonous tapping.
" Looks like doing this all night," I said. " It's getting
wearisome. Curse it a bit, someone."
" Leave that damned 'D' alone!" said an obliging
spectator.
" -O-N-T S-W-E-A-R," the Spook went on at once. We
had got our bearings again.
One evening some fiend-I think it was Holyoake-suggested
turning the circle with the letters face downwards, a
number being written on the back of each letter. The numbers
touched were to be noted down, and any message given
was to be deciphered afterwards. The inversion was made
and it gave me furiously to think. The problem would have
been easy enough had it merely meant a reversal of all the
motions of the glass -i.e., if all the letters were diametrically
opposite to their usual stations, as happened when the board
was merely twisted round a half-revolution. I was
accustomed to that ; but this was different. Take an ordinary
dinner-plate. Mark the points of the compass on it. Now,
for the sake of clearness, revolve the plate on the axis of the
North-South line, and turn it face downwards. The North
point is still in the same position. So is the South point ;
but while East has changed places with West, North-East has
become not South-West but North-West; East-Nor'-East
has become not West-South-West but West-Nor'-West, and
so on. Given time, I could no doubt have worked out the
position of each letter as I came to it, and moved the glass
with fair accuracy. But to have altered the usual rate of
movement would have aroused suspicion. The glass must
move at the usual pace, or not at all ; but how to do it ? My
memory had created for itself a picture of the board. Given
any one letter, I could visualize the positions of the rest almost
automatically, and my hand could guide the glass to them
with as little conscious effort as a pianist, given his C natural,
finds in hitting the right keys in the dark. Imagine the state
of mind of a musician who finds the C natural in the usual
place, but the bass notes on his right and the treble notes on
his left !
Opposite me the Doc. sat. He had nothing to trouble him,
no problem to work out. His one task in life was to let his
hand follow the movements of the glass, to wait for it to move,
and then neither hinder nor help but go whither it led. To
him it did not matter where the letters were-they might be
upside down or inside out for all he cared. The Spook would
take him there. He breathed easily, in the serenity of a full
faith, while the glass moved slowly round and round and I
thought and thought and thought. I tried hard to construct
in my mind a looking-glass picture of the board, and failed.
To give myself time I worked out the positions of the N and
the O, and for a spell answered every question with a " No."
Then all of a sudden the solution flashed into my mind.
After all, I was the Spook. There was, therefore, no reason
why I should not, like every other decently educated spook
be able to see things through a table, or any other small
impediment of that sort. Instead of imagining myself to be
looking down at the board from above the table, I only had to
imagine myself to be looking up at the board from below the
table to have everything in its right position once more. In
thirty seconds the glass was writing as freely as ever.
I do not think my friends ever realized the difficulty of the
task they had set me, or how near we were that night to
failure. Certainly I got no credit for the performance. For
I, like the Doc., was only a medium. The credit went where
it belonged-to the Spook.
" You birds satisfied ? " asked the Doc. genially, as he
leaned back in his rickety chair, smoking a cigarette after
the trial. " How long are we going to keep up this testing
business ? Seems to me the Spook has had you cold every
time. For myself, I'd like to get on to something more
interesting."
" So would I," said I, and I spoke from the bottom of my
heart. " The position seems to me to be this. Either Doc.'s
fudging, or he's not, and----"
" I tell you I'm not," said the Doc. emphatically.
" Some of us don't believe you," said I ; " that's why they
are testing you."
" Blow me tight! They're testing you as much as me!
I know nothin' about it ! "
" Well, put it this way : either we are fudging or we are
not. Will that satisfy you, Doc.? "
" The way I'd put it," said the little man, " would be-
either you are pullin' our blooming legs off or we've struck a
sixty-horse-power, armour-plated spook of the very first
quality. An' faith, I wouldn't put it past ye-ye vagabond ! "
" Right-o ! " I laughed. "Assume I'm fudging. What
does it mean ? You'll admit I've been properly blindfolded?"
" We do," said Matthews and Price together.
" I know I was," grumbled the Doc., rubbing his
eyes.
"Therefore it must have been memory work. D'you think
you can remember the position of all the letters on the board
without looking at them?"
" Sorra a wan ! " said the Doctor.
" I believe I could," said Matthews.
" Well, shut your eyes and try to push the glass to them,"
I suggested.
Matthews sat down. He started well, but he had no guide
except his own general position and soon went hopelessly
astray. " It would need a lot of practice," he said.
" Seen me practising, any of you ? " I asked.
" We have not," said the Doc., " an' what's more we know
you haven't got the patience for it. Besides, you couldn't
have told us all these things we've had out of the board."
" The thing that knocks the memory theory on the head,"
said Price, " is the fact of the board being moved about after
you were blindfolded. No amount of memory would help
you if you couldn't see."
" I couldn't see-I didn't even try," I answered with
perfect truth.
" Besides, you old ass," Price went on with a grin, " we
know you forget your tie as often as not, and you forgot your
lines at the Panto. though you'd only about five, and you
nearly left out the Good Fairy's song altogether." He began
to laugh. " The idea of accusing you of having a memory,
Bones, is too blessed ridiculous for words. It's worse than
believing in the Spook."
" You needn't rub it in," said I. " If I did not remember
my exact lines at the Panto. I made others just as good. I
haven't got a blooming photographic snapshot camera of a
memory like Merriman's, but it's as good as my neighbour's,
anyway."
By now they were all laughing at me. I quoted poetry I
had learned at school to prove I had a memory. They only
laughed the more.
" What's the day of the week ? " the Doc. asked suddenly,
as if he had forgotten an engagement.
" Hanged if I know," said I. It was easy for a prisoner
to forget the day of the week.
" There ye are, ye see ! " said the Doc., and they all jeered,
loud and long.
They agreed it could not be done by memory.
" Can you think of any other way of fudging it ? " I asked.
They could not.
" Then if it is not my memory it must be yours, Doc."
" What's the good of sayin' it is me when I'm tellin' ye
it's not," said the Doc. wrathfully. " You are as bad as the
worst sceptic in the place. I couldn't do it if I tried, nor
could the best man among you. It can't be a fudge ! Look
the facts in the face and admit it ! "
" I don't see how it can," said Matthews. " We must
look for some other explanation-telepathy, or subconscious
communication, or something of that sort. That's the next
problem."
" We are getting on," I said.
We were. But not in the sense they imagined.
Advanced investigators of Spiritualism are like sword-
swallowers. They can take in with ease what no ordinary
mortal can stomach. For in matters of belief, as elsewhere,
" il n'y a que le premier pas qui coute." It is all a matter of
practice and experience. We in Yozgad had not yet acquired
the capacity of an Oliver Lodge or a Conan Doyle, but we
were getting along very well for beginners. The stage of
"True-believerdom" was in sight when my little flock would
cease from talking about " elementary details " and
concentrate their attention on the "greater truths of the World
Beyond." Once a medium has been accepted as bona fide
he has quite a nice job-as easy as falling off a log, and much
more amusing. Experto crede!
The growth of a belief is difficult to describe, for growth is
not a matter of adding one piece here and another there. It
is not an addition at all, it is a process ; and the most that
can be done in describing it is to state a few of the outstanding
events and say, " this marks one stage in the process, that
another." But the process itself does not move by jerks. Nor
is it the sum total of these separate events. In any investigation
each point as it is reached is subjected to proof. Once
passed as proved it forms in its turn part of the foundation for
a further advance in belief. It is the part of the investigator
to make certain he does not admit as correct a single false,
deduction. If he does the whole of his subsequent reasoning
is liable to be affected.
It is particularly easy, in a question like spiritualism, to
allow fallacy to creep in. There is a basis of curious
phenomena which certainly exist and are recognized by scientists
as indubitable facts. But the investigator must be careful,
in every instance, to assure himself that he is in the presence
of the genuine phenomenon, and not of an imitation of it,
and, as a matter of fact, this is sometimes impossible to do.
Thus there is no doubt that the glass will move without the
person whose fingers are resting on it exercising any force
consciously. In the early days of honest experiment, we had
satisfied ourselves on this point. It was within the experience
of all of us. Many of us (I myself was one) could move it
alone, without conscious effort ; and before long we came to
expect the movement to take place, and to regard it as the
natural consequence of placing our hands in a certain position.
When I began to move the glass consciously there was no
outward indication that any change had taken place, and
nobody could prove I was pushing it rather than " following "
it. Nevertheless, the investigators were no longer in the
presence of the genuine phenomenon, though they thought
they were.
From the knowledge that the movement of the glass
could be caused by an unconscious exercise of force, to the
belief that the rational movement of the glass was caused in
the same unconscious way, was but a little step. It is a step
which many eminent men have taken after years of patient
investigation. My friends could hardly have been blamed
had they taken it at once. The fact that they saw fit to test
the " mediums " and failed to discover the fraud does not prove
they were fools. It does show that at least they were
moderately careful, and it should be noted that the reasoning by
which they led themselves astray was well based on facts. The
trouble was it did not take into consideration all the facts that
were relevant. They argued: "We ourselves moved the
board round. The only means by which we could tell the
new position of the letters was by looking. Bones was
blindfolded. He could not see. Therefore he could not
know the new position of the board."
The relevant fact omitted was that man possesses the
sense of touch as well as of vision. It was a failure of
observation as well as of logic. They should have watched my left
thumb.
Then, as corroboration, they argued : " It is notorious
Bones's memory failed him at the Pantomime, and on other
similar occasions. Therefore Bones has a bad memory. No
man with a bad memory could carry in his head the position
of twenty-six letters. Therefore Bones did not do so" -
which neglects the fact that stage-memory is a thing quite
apart and by itself.
Had anyone observed my thumb, groping cautiously for
the secret marks, I should have failed. Nobody observed
it. Therefore I succeeded. It was only a very small
instance of incomplete observation, but it made all the difference.
There is a further point to remember. While these tests
were proceeding, the Spook was not idle. He did not take
them lying down. The best defence is always attack. It
would never do to allow the investigators to assume the
complete control of the operations, to concentrate on any
single point, or to examine their own reasoning in all its
nakedness. Therefore, while they were trying to discover
the origin of the rational movement of the glass, the Spook
counter-attacked continually by framing his replies to their
questions in such a way as to divert the interest of the audience
to the subject matter of the answers and away from the
manner in which they were obtained. The Spook gave, for
instance, appreciations of the military situation on various
fronts which formed splendid food for discussion and
eventually led to the issue at frequent intervals of a Spook Communique.
There was one famous night which did much to
establish the authenticity of our " control." In answer to a
query about the progress of the war, the Spook told us that
America was ready to lend a hand.
" What's America going to do ? " Alec Matthews asked.
" Troops-ready now-waiting," came the answer.
" Where are they waiting, and how many ? "
" At sea- 100,000."
An excited buzz of conversation rose round the table.
" Just a minute," said a Transport expert. " What
shipping have they got ? "
(I was now on dangerous ground, and I knew it.
a rapid calculation.)
"Three-quarter million tons," came the answer.
" Where bound ? " asked the expert coldly.
" Vladivostock."
" Russia -by Jove!"
" Perhaps the Caucasus!"
" We
may get out this summer after all." The audience had got
quite excited. Their whispered comments reached me as I
waited for the next question.
" Composition of the force ? "-the expert continued his
cross-examination.
" Three complete divisions. Five hundred aeroplanes.
Motor fleet."
" Total number of ships, please?"
" Large and small, 102." There was no pause between
question and answer.
Several of the audience had pencil and paper out (including
the Transport specialist), and were making detailed calculations.
" By Jove," said the expert, " the figures work out about
correct, so far as I can see." Then, in a fit of suspicion
" Do you know anything about transport, Doc. ? "
"Devil a bit," said the Doctor. "An' I know Bones
doesn't. He's only a week-end gunner."
" We all know that," said Alec.
I grinned and bore it. I knew only one thing about
transport. I had read somewhere and some-when that a
modern division needs seven tons of shipping per head for a
long voyage, and my poor old memory had stored up this
useless bit of lore. The Spook got the credit and went on
cheerily to outline the American scheme for strengthening
the Russian front. Next day, in the lane, Staff Officers spent
a happy morning arguing about the length of time it would
take the Siberian railway to transport the troops to the
front!
Meanwhile another factor was contributing greatly to
overcome the suspicions of the camp in general and of my own
investigators in particular. The Hospital House Spook was
going great guns. It produced some first-rate " evidential "
matter about various officers-usually relating to some secret
of a " lurid " past which was grudgingly admitted by the
victim to be true-and was exceedingly well informed on
matters relating to the war. Neither Nightingale nor Bishop
had any special acquaintance with the geography of the
Western Front-(that was an " accepted fact " in the camp)
-yet their Spook continually referred to oobscure towns and
villages all along the line! This was regarded as a peculiar
phenomenon. It is a still more curious phenomenon why
the average Britisher always will under-estimate the strength
of his opponent.
Then one morning our orderly came in with a dixieful of
the whole-wheat mush which we dignified with the name of
porridge. He had obviously something to tell us. He stood
rubbing the instep of one foot slowly up and down the calf of
the other leg, and regarding me whimsically.
"What's up, Hall? " asked Pa Davern.
Hall ran his fingers reflectively through his hair.
" I dunno, Sir," he said, " but it looks as if our show's
gettin' left. The 'Orsepital 'Ouse Spook's been and gone off
the water waggon, I reckon."
" How ? " I asked. A fear seized me that my rival had
been found out. That would mean my downfall, too.
" Breakin' windows and such," Hall said ; " reg'lar
Mafficking night they 'ad last night. Put the wind up them
all proper."
" Poltergeistism!" I ejaculated.
" Beg pardon, Sir," said Hall, " that's a new one. I
didn't set out for to upset you."
"He's not swearing, for once, Hall," said Pa Davern.
"tell us about it."
We learned that the night before there had been a seance
in the Hospital House. A new spook had appeared, calling
herself " Millicent the Innocent." Asked what she was " innocent "
of-a perfectly natural question in view of the name
-she grew exceedingly angry and threatenedd to show her
power. Some daring member of the audience challenged her
to " carry on," and immediately a window-pane was smashed
inwards, from the outside, a washstand holding a basin full of
water was upset, and a large wooden chandelier crashed down
from its hook on the wall. The room was well lit at the time.
It was a good twenty feet above ground level, the guards had
completed their evening round, and all prisoners were locked
inside the house. Nobody was within a dozen feet of any of
the objects affected.
After breakfast I went down to the Hospital House and
interviewed Mundey and Edmonds. They were elated and
not a little excited by the adventures of the night before.
They showed me the record of the seance, and sent me to
examine the broken pane.
I saw it could have been broken with a stick from the
window of a neighbouring room-a dark little closet at the
head of the stairs. I went there. The window was nailed up
and covered with cobwebs. Perfect ! But in the grime on a
little ledge below the window was the fresh imprint of a foot.
I took my embassy cap and dusted it over. It was clear my
rival had a confederate. Except for that little slip over the
footprint his work had been very thorough, and I wondered
who it could be. In those days I knew Hill only by sight, or
I might have guessed.
The camp buzzed with the discussion of the new phenomenon.
Compared with this exhibition of the power of the
Unseen over material things, the rational movements of the
glass had become a very minor problem. I hoped it might
be forgotten altogether, or accepted much as we laymen
accept the beating of our hearts-as the necessary but
inexplicable condition for the continued existence of human life.
But Alec Matthews was a persistent and uncomfortably
thorough person. He came up to me one morning as I sat
sunning myself against the south wall. I saw from his eye
there was something in the wind.
" Morning, Bones, I wanted to see you. Little and I and
a few more have been talking over those last seances. Would
you object very much to one more test ? "
" I thought you were all satisfied," I said. " Tests
are a nuisance. I don't want to waste more time over
them."
" Doc. said the same," said Alec. " But he has agreed,
if you are willing. I'm pretty well satisfied myself already,
but if we come through this, it will clinch it."
" What's the test ? " I asked.
" We'd rather not tell you," said Alec, " and we haven't
told Doc. either."
" Right-o," I replied. " Let's go and join the Majors.
They're watching the ducks in the lane."
Matthews declined the proffered entertainment. Instead,
he went off to Little " to get things ready " for the test. I
spent an unhappy day wondering what on earth the test could
be that required so much preparation. In the evening a rather
larger number than usual gathered round the spook-board.
Doc. and I sat down in our usual places.
" Do you want us blindfolded ? " I asked, tendering a
handkerchief.
" Not at all," said Alec. " I don't believe sight comes into
it, anyway. Even if it did, it would not be of any use tonight."
" It might be more satisfactory, though it is beastly
uncomfortable," I suggested.
One of the audience then blindfolded me, but it was
carelessly done, and I could still see the ground at my feet
and the nearest edge of the spook-board.
" Are you ready ? " Alec asked of the spook-board.
" Yes," came the answer.
" This is a test," Matthews explained. " We want to find
out what directs the glass to the letters. Previous tests
indicate it is not done by the mediums "-(I breathed more
freely after that, old chap)-" but it may be caused by one of
the spectators unconsciously exercising a sort of hypnotic
influence over the mediums-in short by Telepathy.
I have prepared anew circle of letters, in triplicate. The original is
here, in this room, and will be produced shortly. The
duplicate and triplicate are in Little's room. The triplicate
is smaller in size and so constructed as to revolve inside the duplicate.
It will be set running by Boyes and Little, who
will leave their room before it stops and guard the door.
I want to see if the glass can write on the original circle in the
code formed by the revolving circle with the duplicate.
If it can, it proves that the movement is not controlled,
consciously or unconsciously, by any human agency, for nobody
knows the code, as there will be nobody in the room when the
revolving circle stops."
Doc. and I put our fingers back on the glass.
" Ha ! ha ! ha ! " It wrote at once.
" You're laughing," said Price. " Can you do it ? "
" Easy," said the Spook.
The new circle of letters prepared by Matthews was
substituted for the one I knew so well, and word was sent
Little and Boyes to start the code wheel spinning.
" Can you write on this new arrangement of the letters ?"
Matthews asked.
The glass began to revolve slowly round and round the
board.
" It is examining the letters," said somebody.
"Yes," came the answer from the board. " Ask something."
" Good enough," said Matthews. " Now write in code.
Tell us who you are in code."
There was a long pause.
" The glass feels quite dead, as if there's nothing here,"
said the Doc. at last.
" I expect it has gone next door to examine the code,"
said somebody, with a laugh that sounded a trifle forced.
" B-M-X," the glass wrote.
" Is that who you are ? "
" B-M-X," said the glass again.
" Is that your name ? It seems very short."
" B-M-X," again.
" Are you writing code ? "
There was another long pause.
" My bandage is slipping," said I. " Tie it up, someone."
" Oh, never mind your bandage," said Alec. " Take it off, it
can make no difference."
I took it off, and lit a cigarette with my right hand still
on the glass.
" That's good," I said. " You can't taste smoke with
your eyes shut."
" You've been thinking about smoking instead of keeping
your mind blank ! " said the Doc. " That's why it stopped.
It'll go now under normal conditions."
" Are you writing code ? " Alec repeated.
" B-M-X-B-M-X-B-M-X."
" That may be the code for 'yes,' " said Price. " Go and
see, Little."
Little went out to examine the code. While he was away
the glass kept up a monotonous B-M-X, B-M-X.
Little came back. " Can't make it out," he said ; " it's not the
code for 'yes.' B-M-X is V-"
" Don't tell us what it is," Alec interrupted. " Come on,
what's your name ? "
Before he got the question out the glass was writing again,
a steady string of some thirty to forty unintelligible letters.
F-G-F-K-V-H-M-D-O-H-O-M-X-O-F-T-T-O-M-U-D-
-N-M-F-G-I-J-F-N-V-C-F-K-M-T-M-F-N."
" Can you repeat all that ? " Price asked.
The glass repeated it a second and a third time without
variation.
"Looks as if we are getting something," said Alec. "Now
please give us a message."
The glass replied at considerable length, and again repeated
the reply three times over. Thus it went on for the best part
of an hour, answering questions in code, and repeating each
answer three times.
" I think we've got enough to go on with," said Price,
" and anyway, whatever this stuff may be, whether it makes
sense or not, we're up against one thing, and that is, how the
deuce can these long rigmaroles of letters be repeated with
such accuracy ? "
While Little and Boyes adjourned with the record to see
if they could be deciphered, the company discussed the
evening's performance.
" Whatever Little's verdict may be," said the Doc., "the
sceptics who think I am doing this have had a bit of a jar
to-night."
" How so? " I asked innocently.
The Doc. tapped the spook-board with a grimy forefinger.
` This is a new arrangement o£ the letters," he said, " which
was sprung on me to-night."
" Well, what about it ? " I asked.
The Doc. leant across the board and glared at me. " What
about it ? Why, ye cormorant! Who but you accused me
the other night of rememberin' the letters, an' how can I
remember them when I've never seen them before ? Yet the
thing wrote sense ! It said, 'Yes, ask something,' in plain
Sassenach!"
I looked at the board critically.
" That cock won't fight, Doc.," I said. " So far as I can
see, this circle looks like a copy of the old one. I remember
that combination N-I-F next each other."
" It's not quite the same," said Alec. " I've changed a
few of the letters." He produced the old board and put it
alongside the new one. "You see the T and the W have
changed places, and so have the B and the M. And both the T
and the M come into the Spook's answer to 'Ask something'. "
" Yes," said the Doc., " and here's another change-the
V and the D."
" I didn't change that," said Alec quickly.
" But ye did," persisted the Doctor. " The old one reads
from left to right, S D V, and the new one S V D."
" So it does," said Alec ; " that was an accidental change."
" Dash it!" said I. " I never spotted that, either."
I don't know why my remark escaped notice, but it did.
Somebody suggested we should go on spooking, and I put my
fingers on the glass again with a feeling of thankfulness. The
glass began to move.
" I know who this is," the Doc. said, without opening his
eyes. " It's Silas P. Warner."
" Quite right," said Price, eyeing Doc. with a growing suspicion.
" How did you know before I read it out ? "
" Why, of all unbelievers," said Doc. the Innocent, looking
at Price in astonishment ; " of all the unbelievers! Faith!
D'ye think I'm a lump of wood, or what? D'ye think I've
sat here night after night and hour after hour, fingerin' this
blessed glass, an' don't know the difference in feel between one
spook and another ? "
This was new to me-the " difference in feel " was quite
unconsciously caused on my part-but it was up to me to Support the Doc.
" I've noticed that myself," I said. " Every one of them
writes a different way."
" Of course, what they say is always characteristic," said
Price. " I admit that ! But here is Doc. recognizing them
not from what they say, but from the way they say it-from
the way the glass moves."
" An' why not ? " said the Doc. " Silas has one way
of writing-he's energetic and slap-bang. An' Sally has
another-she's world-wise and knowing. But Dorothy!
Dorothy that's always gentle and sweet ! She is the one I
like!"
We were all still laughing and teasing the Doc. when Little
came back.
" No good," he said, " the stuff won't make sense. I've
been right through it."
" Then we've got to explain how It remembered and
managed to repeat all that rigmarole," said Price.
" Let's ask Silas," Alec suggested, and Doc. and I put our
fingers on the glass again.
Then Boyes burst into the room, waving a sheet of paper.
" It's all right," he gasped breathlessly. " The blessed thing
has been coding our code! It's been writing one letter to
the left all the way through, and makes perfect sense. Listen."
He began reading out the decoded sentences. I looked across
at Doc. He was grinning at me-a most aggressive grin! I
leant back in my chair and poured myself out a tot of Raki from
Alec's bottle.
" I feel I deserve this," I said, raising my mug.
" Bones, ye thief of the world!" said Doc. " Pass that
bottle! Ye had no more to do with it than the rest of us."
" That he had not," said Alec. " Circulate the poison!
Mugs up, you fellows. The thing's proved, so here's to the
Spook that Doc. says feels the nicest."
" Dorothy," we said, in chorus.
CHAPTER IV
OF THE EPISODE OF LOUISE, AND HOW IT WAS ALL DONE
THOSE who still remained sceptical were completely
puzzled. Our success was due, of course, to the cause
which makes all spooking mysterious- inaccurate and
incomplete observation. In the first place, Alec Matthews had been
guilty of a bad slip. He was certain that he had kept the
board in his possession and that the mediums could not have
seen it. He forgot he had come into Gatherer's room before
the seance, to ask some question about a hockey match, and
had carried the new board in his hand. I was sitting in the
corner. He stayed in the room, standing near the door, for
perhaps fifteen seconds, just enough for me to run my eye
round the board. After Alec left Gatherer twitted me on
being very silent, and asked if I was "homesick."
I was memorizing the new position of the letters.
In the next place, at the seance I was carelessly bandaged.
I could seen the edge of the board next me, and from that
calculated the position of the other letters, so that the fact that
the glass could atonce write "Yes, ask something," was not so
wonderful after all.
In the third place, Little himself gave away the key to the
code when he tried to tell us what B-M-X stood for.
Everybody remembered that Alec had stopped him from saying what
it was, but nobody seemed to notice he had begun to tell us
and had given away the important fact that B stood for V.
The knowledge of the position of one letter gave me a clue for
reconstructing the whole board. Finally, the recoding by the
Spook (by going one letter to the left all the way round) was
due to an accident. I had not noticed that V and D had
changed places, and that the new board read V-D instead of
D-V. V was the key letter given away by Little, and as I saw
it in my mind's eye one place too far to the left, the rest
followed automatically.
This was the last attempt at an organized test.
The investigators were satisfied. The foundations of Belief had been
laid. The rest was absurdly easy -merely a matter of
consolidating the position. It was extremely interesting from a
psychological point of view to notice how the basic idea that
they were conversing with some unknown force seemed to
throw men off their balance. Time and again the " Spook,"
under one name or another, pumped the sitter without the
latter's knowledge. It was amazing how many men gave
themselves away, and themselves told the story in their questions,
which they afterwards thought the Spook had told in his
answers. I could quote many instances, but let one suffice.
As it concerns a lady, I shall depart from my rule, and call the
officer concerned " Antony," which is neither his true name
nor his nickname.
One night we had been spooking for some time. There was
the usual little throng of spectators round the board, who came
and went as the humour seized them. Our War-news Spook
had occupied the stage for the early part of the evening, and
had just announced his departure. We asked him to send
someone else.
" Who are you ? "said Alec. As he spoke the door opened
and " Antony " came in, and stood close to my side.
" I am Louise," the board spelt out.
I felt Antony give a little start as he read the message.
Without a pause the Spook went on
"Hello, Tony!"
"This is interesting," said Tony. (That was give-away
No. 2.) " Go on, please. Tell us something."
I now knew that somewhere Tony must have met a Louise.
That was a French name. So far as I knew he had not
served in France. But he had served in Egypt. One night,
a month or so before, in talking of Egyptian scenery, he had
mentioned a long straight road with an avenue of trees on
it either side that "looked spiffing by moonlight," and ran for
miles across the desert. It had struck me at the time that
there was nothing particularly " spiffing " about the type of
scenery described ; nothing, at any rate, to rouse the
enthusiasm he had shown, and his roseate memory of it might have
been tinged by pleasant companionship. Remembering this,
I ventured to say more about Louise. Nothing could be lost
by risking it.
" You remember me, Tony ? " asked the Spook.
" I know two Louises," said Tony cautiously.
" Ah! not the old one, mon vieux," said the Spook.
(Now this looks as if the Spook knew both, but a little
reflection shows that, given two Louises, one was quite
probably older than the other.)
" Antony " was delighted.
" Go on," he said. " Say something."
" A long straight road," said the Spook ; " trees - moonlight."
" Where was that ? " asked Tony. There was a sharpness
about his questioning that showed he was hooked.
" You know, Tony!"
" France ?"
" No, no, stupid! Not France! Ah, you have not forgotten,
mon cher, riding in moonlight, trees and sand, and a
straight road-and you and me and the moon."
" This is most interesting," said Antony. Then to the
board : " Yes, I know, Egypt-Cairo."
" Bravo! You know me. Why did you leave me ? I am
in trouble."
This was cunning of the Spook. Tony must have left her,
because he had come to Yozgad without her. But Tony did
not notice. He was too interested, and his memory carried
him back to another parting.
"You told me to go," said Tony. " I wanted to help "-
which showed he hadn't!
" But you didn't-you didn't-you didn't- !" said the
Spook.
Tony ran his hand through his hair. " This is quite right
as far as it goes," he said, " but I want to ask a few questions
to make sure. May I ? "
" Certainly," said Doc. and I.
He turned to the board (it was always amusing to me to
notice how men had to have something material to question,
and how they never turned to the Doc. or me, but always to
the board. Hence, I suppose, the necessity for " idols " in
the old days).
" Have you gone ba- " He checked himself and rubbed
his chin. " No," he went on, " I won't ask that.-Where are
you now?"
He had already, without knowing it, answered his own
question, but he must be given time to forget it.
" Ah, Tony," said Louise, " you were a dear! I did love
so your hair."
This was camouflage, but it pleased Tony.
" Where are you now ? " Tony repeated, thinking, no doubt,
of soft hands on his hair.
" Why did you not help me ? " said Louise.
" Look here, I want to make sure who you are. Where are
you now ? "
" Are you an unbeliever, Tony ? C'est moi, Louise, qui tu
parle ! "
" Then tell me where you are," Tony persisted.
" Oh dear, Tony, I told you I was going back. I went
back ! "
" By Jove ! " said Tony, " that settles it. Back to Paris ? "
" I wish you were here," sighed poor Louise. "The
American is not nice-not nice as you, Tony."
" American ? " Tony muttered. " Oh yes. I say, what's
your address ? "
The movement of the glass changed from a smooth glide to
the " slap-bang " style abhorred by all of us.
" Look here, young feller! You get off the pavement.
I don't want you butting round here ! " said the glass. " I'm
Silas P. Warner "
" Go away, Silas ! "
" Blast you, Silas!"
" Get out of
this !"
"We don't want to talk to you, we want Louise!"
An angry chorus rose from Matthews, Price, and the rest of
the interested spectators. Silas had a nasty habit of butting
in where he was not wanted-always at crucial and exciting
points-and was unpopular.
But Silas would not go. He asserted Louise was in his
charge. He would not tolerate these conversations with
doubtful characters. Tony could go to hell for all he cared.
He didn't care two whoops if it was a scientific experiment--
and so forth, and so on.
"One more question," pleaded poor Tony," and if she gets
this right I must believe. How does she pronounce the French
word for 'yes' ? "
This question, if genuine, again gave a clue to the answer.
For it showed she did not pronounce it in the ordinary way.
And I felt pretty certain the question was genuine. When a
sitter is setting a trap his voice usually betrays him. It is
either toneless, or the sham excitement in it is exaggerated.
Tony's voice was just right. So I decided quickly not to
fence, but to risk an answer. The most probable change
would be a V for the W sound, or the W sound would be
entirely omitted. There was therefore a choice of three
sounds," Ee,"" Vee," and "Evee." The problem was to give
the questioner, without his realizing it, a choice of all three
sounds in one answer-he would be sure to choose the one he
was expecting.
The glass wrote " E " and paused. Tony beside me was
breathing heavily. I gave him plenty of time to say " That's
right," but as he didn't the glass went on-
" V-E-E." He could now choose between Vee and Evee.
" Evee ! " said Tony. " That's it exactly! Ye gods, she
always said it that funny way-evee, evee!" He began to
talk excitedly.
After the seance, Tony took me apart and declared he had
never seen anything so wonderful in his life. He told me the
whole story of Louise. How they rode together along the
long straight road near Cairo ; how it was full moon, and there
was an avenue of lebbak trees through which the silver light
filtered down ; and how at the end of the ride they parted.
I don't think anybody else was privileged to hear the whole
story, but next day he told everybody interested that as soon
as he came into the room the blessed glass said " Hello,
Tony! I'm Louise." If the reader will turn back a page or
two he will see this is another instance of bad observation.
The Spook said, " I'm Louise," at which " Antony " started;
and only then did the Spook say, " Hello, Tony ! " The
startled movement which provided the link was forgotten
and the simple inversion of Tony's memory-putting " Hello,
Tony!" before " I'm Louise," instead of after it-made it
impossible for the outsider to discover the fraud. With the
lapse of a little time, his memory played him further tricks.
A month later he was convinced the Spook had told him the
whole story straight off, with all the details he gave me
afterwards in his room. This was all very helpful, from one who
had been a strenuous unbeliever. And a poor, over-worked
medium saw no reason to correct him.
Eighteen months later I sat, a free man, in Ramleh Casino
at Alexandria. Opposite me, at the other side of the small
round table, was one of the Yozgad converts to spiritualism.
I had just told him all our work had been fraudulent, and had
quoted the Tony-Louise story to show how it was done.
The Convert thought a moment.
" Granted that Tony, by his start, provided the link between
'Louise' and himself," he said, " there is still one thing to
explain."
" What is that ? "
" What made you connect the long straight road, and the
trees, and the moonlight, with 'Louise' ? "
" Well," I said, " that, of course, was a mere shot in the
dark-a guess."
The Convert smiled pityingly at me.
"You call it guessing. Do you know what I think it was ? "
" No," said I.
" Unconscious telepathy-you were influenced by 'Antony's ' thoughts."
Is there any way of converting believers? What is a man
to say ?
Spiritualists have divided the statements of spooks into
" evidential " matter and " non-evidential " matter.
Evidential matter is that which is capable of proof in the light of
knowledge acquired by the sitters (or their friends) either
prior to or subsequent to the seance. In every case its basic
hypothesis is ignorance on the part of the medium. Provided
the medium has no apparent means of knowing a thing, or no
apparent grounds for formulating a guess, he or she is
presumed to be ignorant. Thus, in Sir Oliver Lodge's book,
Raymond, the evidential value of the photograph incident
rests on the adequacy of the proof that the medium had no
knowledge of the photograph described. My own experiences
as a medium incline me to the belief that whereas it may be
possible to prove that a given person has had no given
opportunity of acquiring a given piece of knowledge, it is never
possible to prove that he has not had some opportunity or, in
the alternative, that he is not guessing. That is to say, when
a statement is correct, knowledge can sometimes be proved.
Ignorance, or guesswork, can never be proved. In Yozgad
the the Spook described a " tank " with very fair accuracy, told
of the fall of Kut, the capture of Baghdad, the great German
offensive in North Italy, and many more things which were
subsequently proved to be correct. It named officers, and
gave details of past experiences known only to themselves. A
lot of good fellows-Peacocke, Matthews, Edmonds, Mundey,
Price, " Tony," and many others were victimized in turn.
Our news was of two kinds-general and personal. The
general news dealt chiefly with the war. A little of it I
obtained from home. Any "exclusive" item of news I got in
my letters I published through the spook-board, and left it
to Father Time and the Turkish post to bring corroboration.
When corroboration arrived, the Spook's statement became
evidential. But this was only a small portion of the information given.
The rest was guesswork, and the items which
turned out to be correct were remembered afterwards, as
further " evidential matter." The rest was set aside as " not
proven," and forgotten.
The personal news was also largely guesswork. The
medium's usual method was to throw out a cap and watch who
tried it on, as in the case of Louise and Tony.
He then proceeded to try to make it fit. If he failed, no harm was done,
for no special impression was made. The " fishing "
references were simply not understood, and forgotten.
If he succeeded, it was another piece of evidential matter. These were
bows drawn at a venture.
But we also took the gifts the gods sent. One of the most
amusing and successful coups in the personal news branch
was made by the repetition of a long story told in extreme
confidence by the sitter himself to the medium months before.
In vino veritas!-sometimes. Nightingale banked
everything on its truth and on the fact that the confidential stage
of winey-ness has a very short memory, and he won. The
sitter-hitherto a sceptic-was afflicted with exceeding great
alarm and despondency. He approached the two enthusiasts
(Edmonds and Mundey), who kept the records of the seances
for the future benefit of the Psychical Research Society, and
got the seance wiped off the slate ! Then he departed-a
True Believer! Of course, the gift of a complete story like
this was a rarity. But it was a common trick, both with the
Hospital House spook and our own, to store up some trivial
experience, the name of a person or a place, casually mentioned
in conversation-and then spring it on its author some weeks
or months later when a suitable opportunity occurred. The
medium simply waited for the victim to enter the room and
then the glass wrote : " Hello, Tom (or Dick or Harry). Here
you are. I haven't seen you since we met at the Galle Face,"
or the Swanee River, or whatever place Tom happened to have
mentioned. Whereupon, for a sovereign, the surprised Tom
would ejaculate : " Heavens above ! That must be old Jack
Smith!" The Spook then saved up old Jack Smith for a
future use. And so the story grew. Next time it would be
"Hello, Tom. I'm Jack Smith. Remember the Galle Face,
old chap ? "
The "non-evidential" matter also turned out a howling
success.We got in some very fancy work in our descriptions
of " spheres." Nearly a year later (1918) Sir Oliver Lodge's
book Raymond reached the camp, and in it was found
corroboration for many of our flights of imagination. It was known
that none of us had been " spookists " before. So in a sense,
and for our camp, even the non-evidential matter became
evidential. The resemblances between the utterances of our
spooks and the trivialities in Raymond were so manifest that
the genuineness of our performances was considered proved.
Who said two blacks never make a white? Indeed, we were
considered to have advanced human knowledge further than
Lodge. For not only had we got into touch with the 4th,
5th, 6th, and nth spheres, but also with one unknown to other
spiritualists-the minus one sphere, where dwell the souls of
the future generations who have not yet entered this Vale of
Tears.
There were plenty of " literary " men in the camp.
Nobody recognized Maeterlinck's Blue Bird in a new setting!
In building up the reputation of our spooks there was
one type of seance we did not encourage. We threw aside
the strongest weapon in the medium's armoury.
The emotional fog which blinds the critical faculty of the sitter is
most valuable to the medium, and is quite easy to create.
A " Darling Boy " from a dead Mother, or a " My son " from
a dead Father does it. But there were limits to which we could
not go. We created our fog, and built up our Spook's reputaion
without the introduction of what are called " harrowing
spiritual experiences." Our spooks were all impersonal to the
audience (Sally, Silas P. Warner, Beth, George, Millicent,
and so on) ; nobody's dear dead was allowed to appear on
the scene. Louise was no exception; she was still alive, and
"on this side." The rule was only once broken, so far as I am
aware, and then only partially so. Under extreme pressure a
private seance was granted to a most persistent sitter. He
wanted his father to speak to him. One of our usual spooks
appeared. But we never reached the stage of direct communication.
The emotional strain on all concerned was so
obvious that I cut short the seance. Nor was it ever repeated.
Indeed, to the best of my recollection it was the last seance
conducted by me in the camp. It showed me one thing
clearly-given the necessary emotional strain, the sitter is
completely at the mercy of the medium.
I know well that conversations with the dear dead are the
every-day stock-in-trade of the average medium. It makes
mediumship so much easier. Besides, for all I know, the
medium may be genuine. And far be it from me to decry the
efforts of eminent scientists to forge their links with the world
beyond by any means they choose. They want to " break
through the partition." In their effort they have perhaps
every right to circularize the widows and mothers of those
whose names adorn the Roll of Honour. To the scientist, a
widow or a mother is only a unit for the purpose of experiment
and percentage. To the professional medium she represents
so much bread and butter. Assuredly these bereaved ladies
should be invited to attempt to communicate with their dead
husbands and their dead sons! The more the merrier, and
there is no time like the present. We have a million souls just
"gone over" in the full flush of manhood. The fodder of last
year's cannon is splendid manure for the psychic harvests of
the years to come. Carry on! Spread the glad tidings!
Our glorious dead are all waiting to move tables and push
glasses, and scrawl with planchettes, and speak through
trumpets, and throw mediums into ugly trances-at a guinea
a time. There they are, " on the other side," long ranks of
them, fresh from the supreme sacrifice. They are waiting to
do these things for us before they " go on " further, into the
utter unknown. Hurry up! Walk up, ye widows, a guinea
is little to pay for a last word from your dead husbands.
Many of you would give your immortal souls for it ! Walk
up, before it is too late. You may find, to begin with, they
are " a little confused by the passing over," a " little unskilled "
at the handling of these uncouth instruments of expression-
the table, the glass, the trance. But be patient. They only
need practice and will improve with time. Go often enough
to the mediums, preferably to the same medium, and your
dead will learn to communicate. And, above all, " have
faith." It is the faithful believer who gets the most gratifying results.
Ah, yes. We know that " faithful believer." He is apt to
be stirred by his emotions, and a little careless in the framing
of his questions.
I have seen men die from bullets, and shell, and poison;
from starvation, from thirst, from exhaustion, and from
many diseases. God knows, I have feared Death. Yet
Death has ever had for me one strong consolation-it brings
the " peace that passeth all understanding." Like me,
perhaps, you have watched it come to your friends and lay its
quiet fingers on their grey faces. You have seen the
relaxation from suffering, the gentle passing away and
then the ineffable Peace. And is my Peace, when it comes, to be marred
by this task of shifting tables, and chairs, and glasses, Sir
Oliver ? Am I to be at the beck and call of some hysterical,
guinea-grabbing medium-a sort of telephone boy in Heaven
or Hell ? I hope not, Sir. I trust there is nobler work
beyond the bar for us poor mortals.
Be that as it may, ours at Yozgad was a comparatively
healthy spiritualism, conducted by a collection of spooks who
did not encourage snivelling sentimentalism, even under the
guise of scientific investigation. With the exception of a
monotonous melancholic, who butted in at regular intervals
to inform us plaintively that he was " buried alive," the spooks
were a decidedly jovial lot. They kept us in touch with the
outside world. We walked with them down Piccadilly, dined
with them in the Troc., and tried to hear with them the
music of the band. We conversed with Shackleton on his
South Polar expedition, with men in the trenches in France,
and with ships on the wide seas. From Cabinet Meetings to
the good-night chat between " Beth Greig " and her girl
friend, nothing was hidden from us. There was no place to
which we could not go, nothing we could not see with the
Spook's eyes, or hear with his ears. A successful night at the
spook-board was the nearest we could get, outside our dreams,
to a breath of freedom. We forgot our captivity, our wretchedness,
our anxieties, and lived joyously in the fourth dimension.
And it was better than novels-streets ahead of novels-for
it might be true.
CHAPTER V
IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE PIMPLE
" 'PIMPLE' wants to see you, Bones," said Freeland, one
afternoon in April.
" What on earth does he want with me ? " I asked. I had
never yet had any truck with the five-foot-nothing of
impertinence that called itself the Camp Interpreter.
" Don't know, I'm sure. He's waiting for you in the lane."
I went down. Moise, the Turkish Interpreter, was
standing at our camp notice-board, surrounded by the usual
little crowd of prisoners trying to pump him on the progress of
the war. His hands were plunged deep in the pockets of a
pair of nondescript riding-breeches. At intervals he took
them out to readjust the pince-nez before his short-sighted
eyes, and then plunged them back again. His calves were
encased in uncleaned, black, leather gaiters. His sadly worn
boots gave one the impression of having previously belonged
to someone else. His grey-blue uniform coat had Austrian
buttons on it, and his head-gear was a second-hand caricature
of the Enver cap. Yet he stood there with all the assurance
of a bantam cock on his own dung-heap, and crowed in the
faces of his betters. He was part of the bitterness of captivity.
" Good afternoon, Jones," he said familiarly, as I came up.
He had never greeted me before-he kept his salutations for
very senior officers.
" What do you want ? " I asked.
He led me a little to one side, away from the crowd.
" You are a student of spiritism ? " he said, eyeing me
sharply. " The sentries have told me."
" Well ? " I ventured.
" Have you much studied the subject ? "
" So,-so," said I.
" How much do you know about it ? I, too, am interested."
(I wondered what was up. Was I going to be punished ?)
" The Commandant also is interested in these matters,"
he went on insinuatingly, " and many officers have written to
England of what you are doing."
I thought I was " for it," and fought for time. " I refer
you to my friends for what I have done," said I. " Captain
Freeland, for instance."
" Can you read the future ? " he asked. " I have some
questions."
" What ? " (I breathed again.)
" I want you to answer by occultism for me some questions.
You will ? "
Again I needed time, but for a different reason.
"We can't talk here," I said confidentially ; " our mess
has tea in about half an hour ; come up and join us."
" Right-o ! " The familiar phrase somehow sounded
obnoxious on his tongue. I walked back, up the steep path,
thinking hard. Hitherto spooking had been merely a jest,
with a psychological flavouring to lend it interest. But now
a serious element was being introduced. If I could do to the
Turks what I had succeeded in doing to my fellow-prisoners,
if I could make them believers, there was no saying what
influence I might not be able to exert over them. It might
even open the door to freedom. Without any clear vision of
the future, with nothing but the vaguest hope of ultimate
success, I made up my mind to grip this man, and to wait for
time to show how I might use him.
" Freak," said I, entering our room, " wash your face,
'cause the 'Pimple' is coming to tea."
Freeland stared at me open-mouthed.
Uncle Gallup protested mildly because the announcement had caused him to
blot his Great Literary Work. The Fat Boy woke from a
deep sleep, and Pa dropped his pipe.
" Well, I'm-," said everybody at once.
" We'll have that cake you're saving up for your birthday,
Freak," I suggested.
" Hanged if we do," said Freeland. " The little swab
pinches half our parcels-why should we feed him ? If he
comes to tea, I'll go and sit on the landing."
" And I-and I-and I- " chorused the other three.
" No you don't!" I said. " You'll stay here and be good.
Because of my great modesty I am the one who will be away.
I can't listen to my own praises. You, Freak, will tell him
yarns about my powers as a Spookist, you will tell him that
never before was there such a Spookist, never."
" But I know nothing about your beastly spooking," Freeland objected.
" Oh yes, you do ! You know how I learnt the occult
secrets of the Head-hunting Waa Tribe, and-"
" The WHO ? " Freeland interrupted.
" The Head-hunting Waas in Burma," I repeated. " I got
this scar on my forehead from them, you know, when they
were trying to scalp me."
" You old liar ! " said Pa. " I know how you got that
scar. It was on the Siamese side in '09---" Shut up, Pa!" I said.
" I'm only asking Freak to prepare the ground.
I want to make another convert, and once
we've got the blighter on the string I'll make him dance all
right."
" I'm sure it's all beyond me," said Uncle Gallup plaintively ;
" I'm all mixed up between you and the Spook,
anyway."
Freeland was looking at me strangely. " You'll make him
dance, will you ? " he said.
" I mean, of course," I corrected myself hastily, " the
Spook will make him dance."
" How d'you know what the Spook will do ? " asked Freeland.
There was a confoundedly knowing twinkle in his eye.
I was cornered. "I'm only guessing," I said lamely.
" I--I---"
" Right-o ! " said Freeland laughing. " I'll stuff him up
for you. You leave it to me."
In that moment, I am convinced, Freeland more than
suspected it was all a fraud. Like the good sport he was, he
covered my confusion from the others, and never, either then
or afterwards, pressed his advantage. We talked hurriedly
over what he was to say to the Interpreter, and I left the room.
An hour and a half later, from my hiding-place in Stace's
room, I watched the Interpreter depart. Then I returned to
our Mess. There was a litter of tea-cups all over the place.
I poured myself out a cup of cold tea.
"Oh, you've had the cake," I said, pointing, to some
delectable-looking crumbs on a plate ; " where's my bit ? "
" Yok,"
said Freeland, with ill-concealed glee.
(Yok is the Turkish equivalent of " Na-poo " in Tommy's French)
" Come on, you blighters, fork it out," I pleaded. It was
a recognized rule of the mess that all parcel dainties (Heaven
knows they were few enough!) were scrupulously shared. An
absentee's portion was always put aside for him.
" Yessack," (forbidden) said Freeland, laughing. " We told the
Interpreter you never eat anything rich before a seance, so he
took it. Besides, you told me to stuff him up-- "
When the necessary posh had subsided, Freeland let me
know what yarn he had told Moise. It appeared that some
years ago I had been taken prisoner by the Head-hunters.
They tortured me-my body bore scars in witness of it-but
I was saved from death by the Witch Doctor, who recognized
in me a brother craftsman. In exchange for my knowledge he
taught me his. Then he died, and I became Chief of the
Tribe by reason of my magic powers. In due course I left
the Waas and returned to civilization with my pockets full of
Burmese rubies, and my head full of the Magic of the East.
" You piled it on a bit thick, Freak," said I.
" Oh, I went further than that," he laughed. " I told
him Townshend used to employ you to read the minds of the
Turkish generals, which explains why none of the Turkish
attacks on Kut came off! "
" Well, that's torn it all right ! " I exclaimed.
" Not a bit of it.It all went down-same as the cake.
See here-"
He handed me a sheet of paper on which Moise had written
a list of questions.
" He wants these submitted to the Spirit at the next
seance."
I ran my eye down the page. No names were mentioned,
but it was possible to read between the lines. There were
some civilian ladies interned in another part of Yozgad.
" Why," I said in astonishment, " the fellow's given
himself away ! He is using his official position as jailor to pay
court to those unhappy girls ! "
" Yes," said Freeland, and there was a deep anger in his
voice. " Yes. He's got to be made to sit up. Can you
manage it, Bones ? "
My back was turned towards the other occupants of the
room. I looked into Freak's eyes, and winked.
At the next seance I produced the Pimple's written
questions for the inspection of Price, Matthews, and the Doc.
Then I showed them answers prepared by Freeland and
myself at the expenditure of much time and thought.
" I propose," said I " to send these as if they came from
the Spook. It will be no good wasting the Spook's time over
the Pimple ; but you fellows will have to say, if asked, that
we got this stuff at a seance."
" The answers are pretty good," said Alec, " and they hit
him about as hard as he deserves, but they are not exactly
characteristic of the Spook."
" They won't do at all, at all," said the Doc. " He will
know at once it is your work. Anybody with half an eye
could spot your style, Bones."
" Why not try the Spook and see," Price suggested.
" If the answers we get are not suitable, we can send this
forgery."
" But what's the use of wasting time ? " I objected ; " the
thing's done already, and--- "
" Ach ! Come on, Bones ! " The Doc. puts his fingers on
the glass. "Let's get the genuine article. It'll be as different
as chalk from cheese."
Freeland and I had spent a whole afternoon concocting the
replies. It was most annoying that they should thus be
consigned to the scrap-heap. I was also doubtful if I could
manufacture a fresh series at such short notice, but I put my
fingers on the glass and somehow the answers came and
elicited general approval.
"There you are," said Price at the end of the seance,
putting the record before me. " Read that, my son ! "
" The Spook's the boy," laughed the Doc. " If the
Pimple has got any epidermis left to his feelings when he has
read through those answers, you can call me a Dago. It'll
frighten the little cad out of his seven senses. Look at
question eight, will ye ! 'What will my friends think?'
Bones gives a wishy-washy, non-committal answer, and says,
'Your friends won't know.' Spook says, 'You have NO
friends.' That's the stuff to keep him awake o' nights. I'm
all in favour of leaving it to the Spook every time ; there's
not a man of us can come within shoutin' distance of him."
" Yes, it's a good job we left it to the Spook," said Alec ;
" he gets there every time, right on the solar plexus-a regular
knock-out."
It has always been the same. Far-away birds have fine
plumage. A prophet's need of honour varies directly as the
square of the distance. Still, every man wants to consider
himself an exception to the rule. To me it was at first a
little disappointing to be one more example of its application
and to find the utterings of an unknown spook so much preferable to my own.
However, the answers created a deep impression on Moise
the Interpreter, who, at this time, was not a believer in spiritualism.
He had only reached the stage of wondering if there
might not be something in it. Moreover, he was a well-
educated man (he had spent some years in the Ecole Normale
in Paris), and had all the natural intelligence and acumen of
the cosmopolitan Jew. I felt I had a difficult task in front of
me and walked warily. I pretended an absolute indifference
as to whether he believed in the Spook or not and never
suggested that he should come to seances. The result was
that he consulted the Spook once, twice and again. Every time,
without knowing it, he gave something away. I privately
tabulated his questions, studied them hard, and determined
above all to hold my own counsel until the time was ripe.
On May 6th, 1917, an order was posted forbidding prisoners
to communicate in their letters to England " news obtained
by officers in a spiritistic state." This was encouragement
indeed! It showed that the Turks were taking official notice
of my humble efforts. At the same time I could not believe
that it was the Interpreter who was responsible for this new
prohibition. He was by now deeply interested if not already
a believer, and was too anxious to keep on good terms with
the mediums to risk offending them by attacking their
spiritualism. It behoved me therefore to find out who was
behind it. I waited my opportunity and waylaid Moise in
the lane.
" That's a poor trick of yours," said I, "stopping us,
writing home about spiritualism. We only want verification
of what the Spook says. The matter is one of scientific
interest. It has no military significance at all."
" I say so to the Commandant," said Moise, " but he
would not agree. He says it is dangerous."
'
" Get along, Moise! The Commandant has nothing to do
with that notice. You put it up yourself to crab our amusements."
Moise probed excitedly in his pockets and produced a
paper in Turkish which he flourished under my nose.
" There you are ! " he said. " The seal ! The signature!
He wrote the order. I merely translated. I told him how
great was the scientific value, how important is the experiment.
He said the Spook gives war news. It is his fault, not
mine."
" Is the Commandant also a believer ? " I asked.
" Assuredly! He has much studied the occult. He often
consults on problematic difficulties women and witches in
this town, but mostly by cards. He greatly believes in cards."
" Yes," I said, " there is much in cards, but it is rather an
old-fashioned and cumbersome method. Now the Ouija---",
Jimmy Dawson rushed up to find out if the Pimple had any
parcels for him in the office, and I seized the opportunity to
depart. As I went I hugged myself. The Commandant too!
Kiazim Bey, Bimbashi of Turkish Artillery and
Commandant of our camp, was the most nebulous official in Asia.
He did not visit us once in three months. He answered no
letters, took not the least notice of any complaints, refused
all interviews, and pursued a policy of masterly inactivity
which was the despair of our Senior Officers. He was a sort
of Negative Kitchener-the very antithesis of organizing
power-but he had the same genius for silence. Endowed
with a native dignity and coolness which contrasted favourably
with our helpless anger at his incapacity and neglect, he was
comfortable enough himself (thanks to the contents of our
food parcels) to be able to view our discomforts with a
philosophic calm. And, withal, he was more inaccessible than
the Great Moghul. Of the man himself, of his likes and
dislikes, his hopes, his fears, his ambitions, his most ordinary
thoughts, we knew less than nothing. How long, I wondered,
would it be before I could get him into the net ? Would he
ever consult the Ouija as he consulted the " women and
witches " of Yozgad ? Would the Spook be able to play with
him as it played with Doc. and Matthews and the rest of my
friends ?
The whole thing looked very impossible, but in less than
a twelvemonth this " strong silent man " was to be clay in
the potter's hands, and evict his pet witch to give houseroom
to two practical jokers- Lieutenant C.W.Hill and myself.
CHAPTER VI
IN WHICH THE COOK APPEARS AND THE SPOOK FINDS A REVOLVER
ROME was not built in a day, and I had my little sea of
troubles to navigate before reaching the safe harbour
of the Witch's Den. My new-born hope of capturing Kiazim
was barely a fortnight old when the spooking in our house
came to a sudden end. On the 23rd of May a party of 28
rank and file arrived at Yozgad, to act as additional orderlies
to the officers in our camp. A travel-worn, starved, and
fever-stricken little band were these " honoured guests of
Turkey " : they had been driven, much as stolen cattle were
driven by Border raiders in the old days, across the deserts
from Baghdad and Sinai, herded at their journey's end in
foul cellars and filthy mud huts, and left unclothed, unfed,
unwarmed, to face the winter as best they might. Seven
out of every ten Britishers who left Kut as prisoners died in
the hands of their " hosts." The state in which these
gallant fellows reached Yozgad roused the camp to fury, but it
was a very helpless fury. We could do nothing.
The immediate consequence of their arrival was the
opening of the " Schoolhouse," or, as it was more commonly
called, " Posh Castle." Thirteen officers moved, into it,
taking with them their quota of orderlies, and three of the
thirteen were Price, Matthews, and Doc. O'Farrell. Their
departure put an end to the seances in our house. After our
previous exhaustive experiments I dared not suddenly
discover somebody else en rapport with me.
But in the Hospital House spooking went on cheerily all
the summer under the auspices of Bishop and Nightingale,
and it gave the camp much to think about. There was the
episode of Colonel Coventry's sealed letter, which the Spook
read with the greatest ease. Mundey, as true a believer as
any of my converts in the Upper House, assured Coventry
the letter had never left his possession. He was perfectly
honest in his assurance. The courage with which he stood
up for his convictions moved my admiration. It was no
Fault of his that he was unconsciously up against a first-class
conjuror, and that he did not know the letter had been removed,
steamed, read, copied, resealed and replaced. The
episode is merely another instance of faulty observation. It
supports the argument which " common sense " opposes to
spiritualists. Because X or Y or any other eminent scientist
or honourable man vouches for the correctness of a fact, it
does not follow that the fact is so. All X and Y can really
vouch for is that it is so to the best of their belief. Nor does
it follow that because scores of persons observed the same
details as X and Y, these details are either complete or correct.
How many members of a music-hall audience can see
how a conjuring trick is done ? For every one who has
noticed the key move there will be a hundred who did not.
In matters of observation the truth is not to be discovered
by a show of hands.
Then there was the episode of the floating bucket. In
view of our success in instilling credulity, it may be thought
that soldiers are for some reason peculiarly gullible. But
we gulled others as well-farmers, lawyers, and business men.
Lieutenant McGhie, for example, was a dour Scot, not a
regular soldier, but an ordinary sensible business man, with
a liking for donning khaki when there was the chance of a
scrap, and taking it off again when all was quiet. He had
" done his bit " in the Boer War before he went killing Turks
at Oghratina. He could not be called either a nervous or
an imaginative man. He was one of many at a Hospital
House seance who saw a bucket " float across the room."
" Nobody could have thrown it-it was quite impossible!"
Yet Nightingale threw that bucket! I can only account for
this and similar cases by the assumption that the effect of a
seance-of the feeling that one is dealing with an unknown
force-is to blind one's powers of observation much as the
unknown motor-car makes the savage bury his nose in the
sand. Indeed, it does more than blind, it distorts. One more
instance of the methods by which interest was kept alive.
Upstairs in the Hospital House Mundey and Edmonds, who
were recording for Bishop and Nightingale, found one
evening that they could get only the first half of each message.
Every sentence tailed off into nothingness. This was " dis-
overed " to be due to the fact that downstairs Hill and Sutor
were " blocking the line," and getting the second halves of
he messages. We had never heard of "cross-corresponence."
Nightingale and Hill invented it between them
(after all, it is a natural sort of leg-pull), and carried it a step
further than any professional medium I have ever read of.
The man responsible for pushing the glass in the Hospital
House seances was Nightingale. The position of his fellow-
medium, Bishop, was exactly analogous to that of Doc.
Farrell-he was perfectly innocent of any suspicion that the
whole affair was not genuine. The manifestations were
worked by Hill at a given signal from Nightingale, so that
they synchronized with the writing on the board. Two other
people were " in the know "-Percy Woodland and Taylor,
and very carefully they guarded the secret. This information
I learned for certain in August of the same year, when Nightingale,
Hill and I swopped confidences. Until my own spook-
club had broken up, I had paid no attention to the occasional
advances in search of truth which my rivals had made. It was
amusing to learn that my admission of faking took a weight
off their minds-they had felt pretty certain all along that the
Upper House show was also a fraud, but had been puzzled by
my reticence and were obviously relieved to learn the truth.
At the time of our mutual confessions, Nightingale was
dreadfully tired of being dragged out night after night by
enthusiastic spook chasers, and was racking his brains to
discover some means of giving it up without causing offence.
As one of his converts-Lieutenant Paul Edmonds-had
already written a book on the new revelations of Nighty's
spook, confession had become rather difficult.
" Don't confess," I said. " Let's get the Pimple well on
the string first."
" But how ? " asked Nighty.
None of us knew. We could only imitate Mr. Micawber
and hope something would turn up.
Something did turn up-it always does if you wait long
enough. Early in September, Cochrane and Lloyd, walking
up and down the hockey ground, noticed a leather strap
sticking out of the earth. The magpie instinct was by this
time well developed in the camp. At one time or another we
had all been so hard up that we now made a habit of collecting
tins, bits of string, pieces of wood, old nails, scraps of sacking
---in short, everything and anything whichh might some day
have a possible use for some project yet unborn. The sum
total, hidden under your mattress, was technically known as
" cag." A leather strap, with a buckle, was " valuable cag."
So Cochrane and Lloyd tugged at it. It came up-with a
revolver and holster attached ! They smuggled their find to
bed under the nose of the unobservant sentry. We talked of
the discovery in whispers,. and wondered what had happened
to the unfortunate Armenian who had buried it.
A few days later the Pimple buttonholed me.
" I want to ask something," he said. " I go to Captain
Mundey, and he tells me to ask you."
" What is it, Moise ? "
The little man glanced furtively up and down the lane, to
make sure no one was within earshot, and lowered his voice
to a confidential whisper.
" Can the Spirit find a buried treasure ? "
" That depends," said I.
" On what ? "
On who buried it, and who wants it, and whether the
man who buried it is still alive ; or, if he is dead, on whether
he can communicate, or is willing to communicate. The
difficulty varies with the circumstances."
" I see," said the Pimple. (This was very satisfactory
for I was hanged if I myself saw !)
" You want me to find this Armenian treasure ? " I went
on, risking the " Armenian."
"You know about it?" the Pimple asked in surprise.
" How did you know ? Did the Spook tell you ? "
" I have had several communications," I said guardedly.
" You've been concentrating on the wrong places."
(I did not know whether Moise had been digging or
merely thinking about digging. " Concentrating " covered
both.)
" We tried the Schoolhouse garden," said the Pimple,
" but did not find it."
"Of course not," said I. "Digging at random is like
looking for a needle in a haystack."
The Pimple was much struck by the phrase, and made a
note of it in his pocket-book, to practise it some days later on
a choleric major who wanted his parcel dug out in a hurry.
Thus he acquired English-and unpopularity!
" You will grant me a seance ? " he asked.
" Oh yes ! Let's see ! What's the best day ? " I pondered deeply.
" How's the moon, Moise ? "
" Moon ? " said Moise. " What has the moon to do ? "
" Do you want the best results ? " I asked.
" Certainly."
" Then how's the moon ? " (He told me.) " Ah ! Then
three days hence will be best. We'll have a seance on the
evening of the 10th September in the Hospital House. You
must get me permission to sleep there for the night."
It was directly contrary to the rules of the camp that a
prisoner should be absent from his own house after dark.
The readiness with which Moise granted the privilege showed
he had nothing to fear from the Commandant.
The interview had been most satisfactory. I had learned,
first, that the Turks believed that there was a treasure ;
second, that two or more of our captors had already been
looking for it (Moise had said " WE tried the Schoolhouse
garden ") ; and third, that one of the group was probably the
Commandant, Kiazim Bey himself. No doubt I could have
learned all these facts quite easily by direct questioning. But
the whole art of mediumship is to gather information by
indirect methods, in order that, at a later stage, it may be
reproduced by the Spook as an original utterance from the
unknown. The only memory of our conversation Moise was
likely to carry away with him was the " fact " that
the success of a seance depends on the state of the moon.
My plans had been formed during our interview. This
was obviously what I had waited for so long-an opportunity
of attaining my object of properly intriguing the Turk. A
treasure-hunt has a glamour of its own in the most material
surroundings. A treasure-hunt under the guidance of a
Spook ought to be a stunt beyond price. It only remained to
prove that the Spook could find things and the Turk would
be on the string. I determined, if necessary, to ground-bait
with my own poor little store of gold and let the Pimple
acquire a taste for the game of treasure-hunting by finding it.
The advantage of this method would be that the rest of the
camp would remain as much in the dark as to the origin of the
gold as the Pimple, and I saw the prospect of much fun by
organizing digging parties throughout the autumn. Had gold
been at all plentiful this would undoubtedly have been the
proper course to pursue. But it was a rare commodity, and I
was reluctant to part with my small stock without first trying
a cheaper method.
I therefore waylaid Cochrane.
" I hear," said I, " that you dug up a revolver the other
day. Was it a good one ? "
" It was a Smith and Wesson 450," said Cochrane, " and
we got some ammunition with it. But the weapon's quite
unserviceable-the action has rusted to pieces."
" Would you mind very much parting with it ? " I asked.
" It's of no value," said Cochrane ; " but it isn't mine,
it's Lloyd's. What do you want with it ? "
I told him.
" Bones, you old villain," he laughed, " you'll get yourself
hanged yet if you are not careful." That was an uncomforably
correct prophecy! I remembered it six months later
when Hill and I were cut down just in time to save our
worthless lives. But I am anticipating.
" I'll take the risk," I said, " if you'll get me the gun."
Half an hour later the revolver, its holster, and some
dozen rounds of rust-eaten ammunition were in my possession.
It had been cleaned, and some of the rust removed. We
re-rusted it with sulphuric, re-muddied it, and next morning
re-buried it. The spot chosen was not that where it had been
found. The garden was terraced in six-foot drops, and a wall
of uncemented stones upheld each terrace. By removing a
few stones from the face of the wall, scooping out a cavity in
the earth beyond and thrusting in the revolver and ammunition,
Cochrane and I succeeded in planting the revolver in
such a way that the ground above it was quite undisturbed.
The only difficulty we might have to overcome was to explain
the freshness of the mud on the holster ; for the surrounding
ground was bone dry.
The position now became somewhat delicate. A number
of officers in the camp knew that Cochrane had discovered a
revolver. Several of them had seen it. If the Spook
rediscovered it, somebody was sure to recognize it and the fat
would be in the fire. Suspicion would be cast on all our
spiritualistic performances, and the edifice of credulity so
painfully built up in the camp might easily come crashing to
earth. This would have been disastrous, for my principal
asset in converting the Turk was the childlike belief of many
of my fellow-prisoners in the genuineness of our seances. The
general atmosphere of faith had an effect on the Pimple which
no amount of concerted lying could have achieved. It was
essential to retain the atmosphere as far as possible, and to
bring off the coup against the Pimple without affecting the
belief in spiritualism of the camp as a whole.
The best plan was obviously to take the camp, up to a
certain point, into my confidence. I announced that the
Pimple was about to be subjected to a practical joke. My
plan was not to have a seance at all, but to pretend to the
Turks we had held one, and had received instructions from
the Spook as to where to dig.
But on the morning of the 10th, the Pimple announced his
intention of being present at the sitting. This involved our
bringing out the answers on the spook-board, and placed a
fresh difficulty in my way. It was obvious that if I brought
out the answers by my usual methods, the audience would at
once realize that if I could fake thus for the Turks, I could
also fake for them! There must therefore be some difference
from our ordinary procedure which the audience could easily
detect for themselves.
The affair was arranged very simply, to the satisfaction of
all concerned. As between myself and the audience, we
agreed that wherever the Turk happened to sit I was to take
the place immediately on his right. I could then so shade my
face from him with my left hand that he could not see whether
or not my eyes were open. With my eyes open, I explained
to my little school of 'True Believers,' I could push the glass to
the answers required.
(From now onwards O'Farrell, Matthews, and Price did not attend
any of our seances, as communication was not allowed between the
Schoolhouse and the Hospital House after dark. The seances that led
up to trapping the Interpreter were conducted by Nightingale, Bishop,
Hill, and myself, with Edmonds and Mundey as recorders, and
numerous casual visitors.)
The part of the audience on my right
would see the deception. I begged them to give no sign.
Such was the public plan. But the private plan was quite
different. I wanted to be free to watch the Interpreter, and
to be ready for emergencies. If my attention was to be
concentrated on spelling out the correct answers I could not do
this efficiently. So far as my fellow-prisoners were concerned,
I would be the centre of interest. They knew beforehand
the thing was to be faked by me, and they would naturally
watch me closely to see how the fake could be carried out.
Nightingale and I talked the matter over. It was decided
that he should be responsible for pushing the glass to the
correct letters. This would leave me free to act my double
part so as to appear genuine to the Pimple and fraudulent to
the rest of the audience, without being bothered with what the
glass was doing on the board. Further, in order fully to
occupy the Pimple's attention, we decided to employ him as a
recorder and keep him so busy writing down letters that he
would not have any time to spare for watching the mediums.
The result was most gratifying. Nobody for one moment
suspected Nightingale. Everybody, except the Pimple,
" detected " me pushing the glass. They came up to me
afterwards, congratulated me on my excellent imitation of a seance,
and remarked " Of course it was quite easy to see you were
pushing the glass. We could see you were watching the
board." Surely there were no further fields to conquer! The
True Believers had first been convinced that I wasn't pushing
the glass when I was, and now they were equally convinced
that I was pushing the glass when I wasn't!
The Spook fixed the 12th of September for the treasurehunt.
At 2p.m. on that day, by the Spook's orders, Mundey
(who wanted to share in the joke) waited with me outside the
woodshed by the Majors' house. The Pimple came fussing
up.
" Good morning, Mundey! Morning, Jones! You are
ready ? "
" Yes," we answered.
" Let me see." Moise consulted his record of the seance.
" The shavings for fire ? The cord to bind your hands ?
The cloaks ? The ink and saucer ? " he ticked off each
item as we produced them.
" What about your companion, Moise ? " Mundey asked.
" The Spook said there must be two of you."
" Soon the Cook will be here," the Pimple said, "and like
myself he is carrying hidden steel. Feel! A bayonet "-he
thrust forward a stiff leg. Inside the trouser-leg, according
to the Spook's instructions, he was wearing a naked bayonet
which reached well below the knee.
I was a little disappointed that the Commandant's Cook
should be the fourth, for I had hoped the Spook's orders might
bring out Kiazim Bey himself. But the Cook was no ordinary
cook-he was the confidant as well as the orderly of our
Commandant, was practically Second in Command of the
camp, and was altogether as big a rascal as ever wore baggy
trousers. The Pimple's selection of this man to accompany
us instead of one of the regular sentries was another proof
that the Commandant was in the know.
" Do you think there will be danger ? " Moise asked.
Mundey, with a fine air of martyrdom, shrugged his
shoulders. " One never knows in these things," he said carelessly,
" but if we follow instructions it should be all right."
" Oh, I hope so," said the Pimple. " Why do you think
the Spook says, 'the Treasure is by Arms Guarded ' ? Why
does he insist that first we find the arms ? Why not lead us
straight to the treasure ? "
" Don't be impatient," said Mundey severely; " for all you
know the treasure may be mined, and if we go digging it up
without disconnecting the mine we would all go up together.
Our job is to obey the Spook's instructions, not to argue about
them."
" Do you think we shall find these arms which are guarding
our treasure ? " Moise asked.
"I think so," Mundey said. " You have done this sort of
thing before, haven't you, Bones ? "
"Oh yes," I answered.
The Cook arrived, walking gingerly on account of the
bayonet. He spoke rapidly in Turkish to the Pimple, who
turned to us and translated.
" The Cook wants to know what are we to do if the Spook
leads to a harem ? "
Mundey and I had the utmost difficulty in keeping our
faces straight-we had not thought of such an enterprise.
" We can stop outside, I suppose," said Mundey.
The Pimple translated to the Cook, who burst into a torrent
of agitated Turkish.
"He is saying," Pimple translated, " you will be entranced
and the Spook says on no account must you be touched or
spoken to. How then are we to stop you if you are making
to go into the women's quarters ? "
" Probably only one of us will be entranced," I said, " and
if that is me you tell Mundey to stop me. You know how,
don't you, Mundey ? "
Mundey rose to the occasion. " Certainly," he said. " I
can use the Red Karen teletantic thought transmission."
" What is that ? " asked the Pimple.
" Never you mind," said I. " That's a secret process I
Taught Mundey in Burma. Come on! Let's get ready." I
stretched out my hands and the Cook bound them together
with the cord we had brought for the purpose. Then he did
the same for Mundey. These little things all count in instilling credulity.
" Now what to do ? " asked the Pimple.
" Hush!" said Mundey. " Look at Jones ! He's going
off! Don't speak-for Heaven's sake don't speak to him."
I went gradually off into a " trance." It was hard acting in
broad daylight, with the two eager treasure-hunters watching
at close range. The fact that I had never seen anybody go
off into a trance did not make it any easier. But I had big
plans at stake.
At last, speaking in a slow, sleepy voice, I addressed an
invisible person behind the Interpreter, looking through him
as if he were not there. " What did you say ? " I asked.
The Pimple twirled round, but of course saw nothing.
" What ? " I repeated. " I-can't-hear."
" To whom is he speaking ? " asked Moise. " There is
nothing I see ! Can you see ? "
" Hush-hush ! For any sake be quiet! " Mundey was
acting splendidly.
" South ! " I shouted, and started off at a great pace down
the lane. " South ! South ! "
Mundey kept step with me. The Pimple and the Cook
trotted (uncomfortably because of the bayonets) close behind
us. With eyes fixed on the " spirit " I rushed past the
astonished sentry, who obeyed a signal from Moise and made
no effort to stop me. As I went I called to the spirit to have
mercy on us poor mortals, and not to go so fast. Then, as
my breath failed, I came to a stop and sat down in the cabbage-
patch outside the camp.
" What has happened ? Where am I ? " I looked up at
Moise with a dazed expression.
" You cannot see it now? " Moise asked in great agitation.
" It is not quite gone away, surely ? "
" Quick ! " said Mundey. " The Ink Pool! Before it
goes! Hurry up, Moise!"
The Interpreter produced the bottle of ink and saucer
which the Spook had ordered him to bring. We poured the
ink into the saucer, and Mundey and I stared fixedly into
it.
" Ah ! " said Mundey.
" Ah ! " said I.
" What is it ? " asked the Pimple, peering over our shoulders
into the ink pool. We paid no attention to him.
" Can you see which way it is pointing ? " Mundey asked.
" Yes," said I. " West ! Come on ! " Jumping to our
feet, Mundey and I started westwards up the hill as fast as we
could go. Our bayonet-hobbled friends had the utmost
difficulty in keeping up with us. We led them a pretty dance
before we pulled up at the spot where the revolver was buried.
Here I asked for instructions from the invisible Spook. I
was once more in a trance-a fact to which Mundey judiciously
drew the Pimple's attention.
" Which test do you suggest ? " I asked.
The Spook's reply was audible only to myself. I turned
on the Pimple.
" Quick! " I said. " Do what he says, or we'll be too
late! "
" And what does he say ? " the Pimple asked.
" He wants the test of the Head-hunting Waas," I
explained excitedly. " Quick, man ! Quick! "
" I do not understand." The unhappy Pimple wrung his
bands.
" The fire ! The shavings ! Quick, you idiot!" I raved.
(It was great fun being able to abuse our captors without fear
of punishment.)
With trembling fingers the Pimple undid the bundle of
shavings. I snatched it from him, deposited it directly over
where the revolver lay, and put a match to it. Then standing
over the blaze, with arms outstretched towards the heavens,
I recited-
" Tra bo dwr y mor yn hallt,
A thra bo 'ngwallt yn tyfu,
A thra bo calon dan fy mron
Mi fydda 'n fyddlon iti,"
etc., etc., and so on. Celtic scholars will recognize a popular
Welsh love lyric. In Yozgad it passed muster, very well, as
the Incantation of the Head-hunting Waas. The Pimple and
the Cook listened open-mouthed. Even Mundey was
impressed.
"Something is here," I called. " I feel it. Get a pick!"
Moise turned to the Cook in great excitement and translated.
Opposite us, at the foot of the little garden, was a
high wall. The Cook was over it in a flash, like a monkey gone
mad, and a moment later we could see him racing up the road
towards the Commandant's office to get the necessary implements for digging.
I glanced round and saw Corbould-Warren's grinning face
watching from behind a neighbouring wall. Close to him was
a little crowd of my fellow-prisoners, all more or less helpless
with suppressed laughter. The impulse to laugh along with
them was almost irresistible. To save myself from doing so
I sat down heavily, in a semi-collapse, against Tony's hen-
house, and buried my face in my arms. Mundey ministered
nobly to me until the Cook reappeared with the pick. I
began to dig.
I calculated the revolver ought to be about fifteen inches
underground. When the hole was a foot deep I stopped, and
again appeared to listen to the invisible Spook.
" I forgot," I said apologetically, " I am sorry." Then,
turning to Moise, " We've forgotten the fourth element,
Moise! Hurry up ! Get it ! "
" Fourth element? I do not understand."
" Oh, you ass!" I shouted. " We've had Air and Earth
and Fire. We want the other one."
" But what is it ? " Moise wailed.
" Water ! " said Mundey. " Quick-a bucket of water!"
Moise rushed into the house and brought out a pail of
water. I took it from him and poured it into the hole. As
the last drops soaked into the dry earth I breathed more
freely. Any fresh mud or dampness on the revolver due to the
re-muddying process would now be properly accounted for.
I resumed the digging. A moment later the butt of the
revolver came to light. With a wild yell I pointed at it,
staggered, and " threw a faint." It was a good faint-rather
too good-not only did I cut my forehead open on a stone, but
one of our own British orderlies who was not " in the know "
ran out with a can of water and drenched me thoroughly. I
was then carried by orderlies into the house and laid on my
own bed.
Outside, the comedy was in full swing. When the revolver
was found, neither the Cook nor the Interpreter worried for a
moment about my condition. For all they cared. I might
have been dead. Without a glance in my direction, they let
me lie where I had fallen and seizing pick and shovel, began to
dig like furies. If " the Treasure was by Arms guarded "
surely it must be somewhere near those arms! They dug
and they dug. They tore away the terrace wall. They made
a hole big enough to hide a mule. The Sage, who lived in a
room just above the rapidly growing crater, was roused from
his meditations. He sallied forth and cross-examined Mundey.
" What-aw-have we here ? " he asked. " What-aw-
what nonsense is this ? "
" Shut up, Sage," said Mundey, fearful that the Pimple
would overhear.
" But-ah-what is the-aw-object of this excavation ? "
"Do be quiet!" Mundey begged.
" You-aw-you appear to me to be-ah-bent on uprooting the garden!
What are you-aw-"
In despair Mundey imitated my procedure and fainted too!
The grinning orderlies helped him up to my roam. The Sage
continued to look on, in mute astonishment. Luckily the
Pimple was too excited to have eyes for anything but the
treasure.
A few minutes later Stace, who shared the Sage's room,
came up to me.
" For any sake, Bones, go out and stop the Cook digging."
" Has he dug much ? " I asked.
" Much ? " said Stace. -" He has torn up the garden by
the roots! If you don't stop him he'll have the house
down."
" Right-o, Staggers. I'll stop him ! "
Stace went off, leaving me to think out the next move.
A few minutes later, I went downstairs, supporting myself by
the banisters, with every appearance of weakness. Moise
and the Cook, bathed in perspiration and grime from their
exertions, met me at the foot. I leant feebly against the wall
beside them.
" Are you better ? " asked Moise.
" What happened ? " I asked. " How did I get back to
my room? Did we find anything? "
The Pimple patted me affectionately on the shoulder.
" Magnificent ! " he said. " You have been in a trance. You
found the revolver."
" No!" I exclaimed. " Where ? "
They led me to the hole. "Bless my soul ! " I said. "Did
I dig that ? "
"Not all," said the Pimple. " When you found the
revolver you fainted. Then the Cook and I, we digged the
ground, but found nothing."
" What ? " I said. " You dug ? "
" Yes."
"Well, you've spoiled everything then ! The Spook
ordered you to do nothing without instructions from me."
"You think the Spirit will be angered?"
" Think.! Tell me did you find anything more ? "
" No," said the Pimple.
" Well, there you are ! " said I.
The Pimple translated into Turkish for the Cook's benefit.
Far some minutes they talked together eagerly. Then the
Cook seized my hand, pressed it to his ragged bosom, and
became very eloquent.
" He is thanking you," said Moise. " He says you are
most wonderful of mediums. You will know how the Spirit
may be appeased. We shall dig no more without orders."
CHAPTER VII
OF THE CALOMEL MANIFESTATION AND HOW KIAZIM FELL
INTO THE NET
THE camp as a whole had enjoyed the treasure-hunt.
Mundey and I were congratulated on having pulled
off a good practical joke against the Turk. On the other hand,
there were a few who disapproved of what we had done.
They held that discovery of the fraud would anger the Turk,
not only against the perpetrators, but against the whole camp,
Our success, however, deprived their criticism of any force,
and they confined themselves to a warning that it was foolish
to run such risks without an object.
Nobody guessed that behind my foolery there was an
object, and a very serious one. It was the first real step in a
considered plan of escape.
Escape from any prison camp in Turkey was difficult,
from Yozgad it was regarded as practically impossible. Here
the Turks sent Cochrane, Price, and Stoker, who had made
such a gallant but unsuccessful attempt to get away from
Afion Kara Hissar in 1916 ; and here, later on, came the
Kastamouni Incorrigibles-some forty officers who had
refused to give their parole. Yozgad was the punishment
camp of Turkey.
Escape was not a question of defeating the sentries. The
"Gamekeepers " who preserved our numbers intact were
nearly all old men, and were very far from being wide awake.
On fine days they snoozed at their posts ; if it was cold, or
wet, or dark they snuggled in their sentry-boxes. As several
officers proved by experiment, it was no difficult matter to get
out of the camp and back again without detection.
The real sentries were the 350 miles of mountain, rock and
desert that lay between us and freedom in every direction.
Such a journey under the most favourable conditions is
something of an ordeal. I would not like to have to walk it
by daylight, in peace-time, buying food at villages as I went.
Consider that for the runaway the ground would have to be
covered at night, that food for the whole distance would have
to be carried, and that the country was infested with brigands
who stripped travellers even within gunshot of our camp ;
add to this that we knew mothing of the language or customs
of the people and had no maps. It is not difficult to
understand why we were slow to take advantage of our sleeping
sentries.
There was another factor that prevented men from making
the attempt. It was generally believed that the escape of one
or more officers from our camp would result in a " strafe " for
those who remained behind. We feared that such small
privileges as we had won would be taken away from us-the
weekly walk, the right to visit one another's houses in the
daytime, and access to the tiny gardens and the lane (it was
only 70 yards long) for exercise. We would revert to the
original unbearable conditions, when we had been packed
like sardines in our rooms, day and night, and our exercise
limited to Swedish drill in the 6 feet by 3 feet space allotted
for each man's sleeping accommodation. A renewal of the
old conditions of confinement might-probably would
mean the death of several of us. Such, we believed, would
be the probable consequences of escape.
The belief acted in two ways in preventing escapes. Some
men who would otherwise have made the attempt decided it
was not fair to their comrades in distress to do so. Others
considered themselves justified, in the interest of the camp as
a whole, in stopping any man who wanted to try. And the
majority-a large majority-of the camp held they were
right. The general view was that as success for the escaper
was most improbable, and trouble for the rest of us most
certain, nobody ought to make the attempt. For we knew
what " trouble " meant in Turkey. Most of the prisoners in
Yozgad were from Kut-el-Amara. We had starved there,
before our surrender : we had struggled, still starving, across
the 500 miles of desert to railhead. We had seen men die
from neglect and want. Many of us had been perilously
near such a death ourselves. We had felt the grip of the
Turk and knew what he could do. Misery, neglect,
starvation and imprisonment had combined to foster in us a very
close regard for our own interests. We were individualists,
almost to a man. So we clung, as a drowning man clings
to an oar, to the few alleviations that made existence in
Yozgad possible, and we resented anything which might
endanger those privileges.
It is easy enough for the armchair critic to say it is a man's
duty to his country to escape if he can. As a general maxim
we might have accepted that. The tragedy in Yozgad was
that his duty to his country came into conflict with his duty
to his fellow-prisoners. I thought at the time, and I still
think, that we allowed the penny near our eye to shut out the
world. But it was only a few irresponsibles like Winfield-
Smith who shared my view that the question of whether a
man should try or not should be left to the individual to
decide, and if he decided to go the rest of us ought to help
him, and face the subsequent music as cheerfully as might be.
And I must confess, in fairness to the officers who undertook
the unpleasant task of stopping Hill when he was ready to
escape in June 1917, that though in principle I disapproved
of their action, in fact I was exceedingly glad, for my own
sake, that he did not go.
I suppose every one of us spent many hours weighing his
own chances of escape. For myself I knew I had not the
physical stamina considered necessary for the journey. If
the camp stopped a man like Hill, they would be ten times
more eager to stop me. Secrecy was therefore essential.
Believing, as I did, that the War might continue for several
years, I had made up my mind in 1917 to make the attempt
and trust to luck more than to skill or strength to carry me
through. But because of the feebleness of my chance, and
the extreme probability that my comrades would not have the
consolation of my success in their suffering, it behoved me
more than anyone else to seek for some way of escape which
would not implicate my fellows, and not to resort to a direct
bolt until it was clear that all other possibilities had been
exhausted.
My plan was to make the Turkish authorities at Yozgad
my unconscious accomplices. I intended to implicate the
highest Turkish authority in the place in my escape, to obtain
clear and convincing proof that he was implicated, and to leave
that proof in the hands of my fellow-prisoners before I disappeared.
It would then be clearly to the Commandant's
interest to conceal the fact of my escape from the authorities
at Constantinople (he could do so by reporting my death) ;
or, if concealment were impossible, he would not dare to visit
his wrath upon the camp, as they could retaliate by reporting
his complicity to his official superiors. By these means, I
hoped, not only would my fellow-prisoners retain their
privileges, but by judicious threatening they might even
acquire more.
The most obvious way to accomplish my object was by
bribery, and it was of bribery that I first thought. The
difficulties were twofold : first, there were no means of
getting money in sufficient quantity ; second, supposing I
got the money together, I could see no method by which the
camp could satisfy the Constantinople authorities that it had
gone into the pocket of the Commandant. The Turk takes
bribes, readily enough, but he is exceedingly careful how he
takes them, and he covers up his tracks with Oriental cunning.
If I could not provide the camp with proof of the
Commandant's guilt, I might as well save my money and bolt
without bribing him.
I was trying to convince myself that these difficulties ought
not to be insuperable when the Interpreter first evinced an
interest in spooking, and the Commandant's belief in the
supernatural was proved by his official notice of May 6th.
From that moment I discarded all thought of
bribery. I was filled with the growing hope that my door to
freedom lay through the ouija. And first and foremost in
pursuance of my plan, I aimed at inveigling the Commandant
into the spiritualistic circle and making him the instrument of
my escape. The news that there existed a buried treasure
which the Turks were seeking gave me an idea of how to do it.
To my fellow-prisoners the farcical hunt for the revolver
had appeared a complete success. To me it was a bitter
failure. I felt that if the Spook's achievement in finding the
weapon did not bring out the Commandant, nothing would.
But day followed day, and he made no sign. A considerable
experience of the Eastern mind made it easy enough for me to
guess the reason for his reticence. Like the Oriental he was,
he wished above all things to avoid committing himself. He
clearly intended to work entirely through his two subordinates,
the Interpreter and the Cook. If anything went wrong, he
could not be implicated. If everything went right, and the
treasure were discovered, he could use his official position to
seize the lion's share. It was clear that there would be a long
struggle before I could get into direct touch with the Commandant.
I decided that the Pimple must learn for himself
that he could get " no forrarder " with the Spook until he put
all his cards on the table. It was to be a battle of patience, and
knowing something of Oriental patience, I almost despaired.
Time and again after the revolver incident the Pimple
attended seances. To his amazement and regret he found the
attitude of the Spook had undergone a complete change : for
a long time nothing but abuse of the Turks emanated from
the board. The Spook was very angry with them for exceeding
instructions and continuing to dig after the revolver had
been found. Not one word would It say about the treasure.
The Pimple apologized to the board abjectly, humbly, profusely.
It made no difference. The Spook turned a deaf ear
to all the little man's pleas for forgiveness. Its only
concession was to produce a photograph of the owner of the
treasure on a piece of gaslight paper which the Pimple obtained in
the bazaar and held to his own forehead at a seance. With
commendable perseverance the Pimple kept up his appeals
for two months. Then at last he delivered himself into my
hands. He lost his temper with the Spook.
" Always you are cursing and threatening," he said to the
glass, " but you never do anything. Can you manifest upon
me?"
" To-night," answered the glass, " you shall die ! "
" No ! Please, no ! Nothing serious, please ! I beg
your pardon ! Please take my cap off, or my gloves ! I only
wanted you to move something ! "
" Very good," said the Spook, " I shall move something.
For this occasion I pardon. I shall not kill. But to-morrow
morning you shall suffer. I shall manifest upon you." The
Spook then went into details of what would happen to the
Pimple to-morrow morning.
Two hours later we gathered in my room, as usual, to
discuss the seance, and as usual the Pimple drank cocoa-our
cocoa-with infinite relish. He enjoyed it very much that
night, because it was extra sweet. That was to cover any
possible flavour from the six grains of calomel I had slipped
into his cup!
`
I met him again on the afternoon of the following day.
He looked pale.
" Well, Moise," I said, " did the Spook fulfil his promise ? "
Moise gave me all the gruesome details in an awed tone.
" And it was no use sending for the doctor," he added, "
because I knew it was all supernatural. I am most thankful it
is all over."
I congratulated him on being alive.
" I shall press no more for the treasure," said he : " this
lesson is for me sufficient."
" Good," said I.
It was more than good. It was excellent.
His subordinate having failed, surely the Commandant would now come
forward. I waited hopefully, a week, a fortnight, a month.
But Kiazim Bey never put in an appearance. I thought I was
beaten and all but gave up hope. So far as was possible, I
backed out of spooking. There seemed no alternative to the
direct bolt. I made my plans to go on skis at the end of
February, or beginning of March. I warned my room-mates,
in confidence, that I might disappear, sent a cryptogram to
my father, and began to train. But early in January I met
with an accident while practising. A bone in my knee was
injured in such a way as to put escape out o£ the question for
me till well on in the spring. I sold my skis to Colbeck and
turned back to my first love.
Perhaps the pain in my knee acted as a counter-irritant to
my sluggish wits. A few days after the accident the necessary
brain-wave arrived. The Pimple was in the lane at the time.
I hobbled out to him through the snow. We chatted, and our
chat came round to the old subject-the Spook-quite
naturally.
" This rage of the Spirit's-it cannot be explained," the
Pimple said.
" No," I replied, " I have only seen one previous instance
where the Spook behaved so badly for so long. And there the
circumstances were different."
"What were the circumstances ? "
" It was soon after my adventure with the Head-hunting
Waas," I said, " about which I shall tell you some day."
The Pimple smiled knowingly. " I know it," he said;
" months ago Captain Freeland told me in confidence."
" Did he ? Well, it got about that I had learned occultism
in captivity. A lady asked me to consult the Spirit about a
gold watch she had lost."
" Did you find it ? " the Pimple asked.
" Oh yes. Quite easily. Then several other people came
who had lost other things. The Spook found them all. Then
came a man who asked me to find a diamond necklace for a
friend of his, whose name he would not give. I tried, and the
Spook became abusive-for three months it abused us.
Finally a fakir told me the reason. The Spook was angry
because the sitter kept back the name of the lady who wanted
the necklace. It wanted our full confidence and full faith."
" But we have full faith," said the Pimple, " yet it abuses
us."
" Of course we have," I agreed. " The present case is
quite different, for we are not keeping back anything from the
Spook or hiding anybody's interest in the search. You see,
in the affair of the diamond necklace the lady who wanted it
was in a very high social position, and she was afraid of being
laughed at for consulting the Spook, so she remained in the
background. That made the Spook angry."
" I see," said Moise. " And did you find the necklace in
the end ? "
" Oh yes. Once the lady learned the reason, she allowed
her name to be mentioned, and we found it at once."
" I see," said the Pimple. " Who was the lady ? "
" I don't mind telling you in confidence," I replied ; " it
was Princess Blavatsky."
" OH! " said the Pimple.
Then I hobbled back to my room to be abused by dear old
Uncle and Pa for playing the fool with my knee, and to await
results.
On January 30th the result came. Our Mess were sitting
down to the regulation lunch of wheat " pillao " and duff when
a sentry appeared and handed me a note demanding my
presence at the office. Thinking there might be a parcel
awaiting me, I nodded and indicated by signs (for in those days
we knew no Turkish) that I would come as soon as lunch was
over. The man got excited.
"Shindi!" (now), "Shindi!" he said. "Commandant! Commandant!"
My heart seemed to stand still. The time had come.
Hickman looked at me anxiously.
" What's up, Bones ? " he asked. " Are you ill ? You've
gone white."
" It's my knee," I said. " It got a twist just now."
" Chabook ! Gel ! Commandant ! Commandant ! " repeated the sentry.
" It-aw-seems the Commandant wants you," the voice
of the Sage explained from the next table.
The Sage was wrong, as usual. It was I who wanted the
Commandant. But I let it pass and went off with the anxious
sentry.
In the office Kiazim Bey returned my salute with dignity
and politeness. Then he shook hands with me and placed me
in a seat on one side of the table. He sat opposite. The
Interpreter stood at attention by his side.
This was my first introduction to the Commandant.
During my nineteen months of prison life in Yozgad I had
seen him only rarely, and never spoken to him. Small fry
like Second Lieutenants had small chance of getting to know
the man who refused interviews with our most senior Colonels
and consistently kept aloof from us all. As he spoke to the
Interpreter I studied him with interest. He was a man of
about fifty years of age, a little above middle height, well
dressed in a uniform surtout of pearly grey. Except for a
slight forward stoop of the head when he walked, he carried
himself well. His movements were slow and deliberately
dignified ; his voice low, soft, and not unpleasing. The
kalpak which he wore indoors and out alike covered a well
shaped head. His hair, at the temples, was silver-white, and
an iron-grey moustache hid a weak but cruel mouth. His
features were well-formed, but curiously expressionless. I
believe that no prisoner in Yozgad, except Hill and myself,
ever saw him laugh. His complexion was of an extraordinary
pallor, due partly to much illness, and partly to his hothouse
existence indoors ; for like most well-to-do Turks, he rarely
took any exercise. And he had the most astonishing pair of
eyes it has ever been my fortune to look into ; deep-set,
wonderfully large and lustrous, and of a strange deep brown
colour that merged imperceptibly into the black of the pupil.
They were the eyes of a mystic or of a beautiful woman, as his
hands with their delicate taper fingers were those of an artist.
He played nervously with a pencil while he spoke to me
through the Interpreter, but never took his eyes from my face
throughout the interview. He began with Western abruptness,
and plunged in medias res.
" Before we go into any details," he said, " I want your
word of honour not to communicate to anyone what I am
now going to tell you."
" I will give it with pleasure, Commandant, on two conditions."
" What are they ? "
" First, that your proposals are in no way detrimental to
my friends or to my country."
" They are not," said the Commandant. " I promise
you that. What is your second condition ? "
" That I don't already know what you are going to tell me."
" It is impossible for you to know that," he replied.
" How can you know what is in my mind? "
I looked at him steadily, for perhaps half a minute, smiling
a little.
" It is impossible for you to know," he repeated.
" You forget, Commandant, or perhaps you do not know.
I am a thought-reader."
"Well?"
The time had come to risk everything on a single throw.
" Let me tell you, then," I said. " You are going to ask
me to find for you a treasure, buried by a murdered Armenian
of Yozgad. You want me to do so by the aid of Spirits. And
you are prepared to offer me a reward."
The Commandant leant back in his chair, in mute astonishment, staring at me.
" Am I correct ? " I asked.
He bowed, but did not speak. We sat for a little time in
silence, he toying again with his pencil, I endeavouring to look
unconcerned, and smiling. It was easy to smile, for the heart
within me was leaping with joy.
" I am afraid," he said at last, " that if our War Office
learned that I had entered into a compact with one of my
prisoners, it would go ill with me."
" There will be no compact, Commandant," I said ; " I
have no need of money. You mustn't judge by this " (I
touched my ragged coat and laughed). " What I seek from
the Spirits is not money. It is knowledge and power. But I
feel I owe you something. You have had me in your power,
as your prisoner, and have shown me no discourtesy. I am
grateful to you for what you have done for us, for the privileges
you have granted, and the kindnesses you have shown.
And in return any small skill I possess as a medium is wholly
at your service. I shall do my best to find this treasure for
you, if you wish it."
" You are very kind," said Kiazim Bey, and bowed. He
was obviously waiting for my parole.
" As to secrecy," I went on, " it is essential for myself
as for you. If I find this money for you, the British War
Office may quite well shoot me on my release for giving funds
to the enemy. And there is much more danger of me being
discovered than of you. It is very hard to keep what happens
at seances secret from the camp. For my own sake, of course,
I must do my best to keep it dark. I cannot promise more
than that."
" The camp does not matter much," said the Commandant,
" it is Constantinople that is important."
" I cannot see, Commandant, that you are doing them any
harm by seeking to find this money by any means in your
power. But that is neither here nor there. Before this game
is played out I shall require helpers-and at least one other
medium, and perhaps recorders, must get to know. I promise
that if you play the game with us, Constantinople will remain
in the dark so far as I am concerned. But I cannot promise
that the camp may not find out."
" The great danger will be if we find the treasure. Then
you must be silent as the grave," he said.
" That I can promise-it is to my interest as well as yours,"
I replied.
" Silent as the grave, then," he said, holding out his hand.
" As the grave," I answered, and grasped it.
I arranged with the Pimple for an early seance and rose to
go. The Commandant accompanied me to the door. I
could see, more by his expressive fingers than by his impassive
face, that he was greatly agitated. He put a detaining hand
on my arm.
" That was a most serious oath," he said, looking at me
strangely. I tried to fathom the meaning behind the dark
eyes, and think I succeeded. It was the vultus instantis
tyranni.
" Serious as Death, Commandant," I said.
He half nodded, and returned my salute with slow gravity.
As I limped down the road in charge of my sentry I felt
like singing with happiness. The long weary period of waiting
and groping in the dark was past, and the first big step in my
plan had been achieved. The Commandant was hooked at
last. There would be real excitement in spooking now, with
Liberty to greet success at one end, and Heaven knows what
to greet failure at the other. And best of all I would no
longer be alone. I had long since determined that as soon as
the preliminary difficulties had been overcome and a definite
scheme became possible, I would seek a companion. I had
had enough of plotting and planning in solitude during the
last six months. I longed for companionship.
There were probably many men in the camp who would
have joined me had they been asked, but there was only one
who had given clear proof of his deadly keenness to get away.
This was Lieutenant C.W.Hill, an Australian Flying Officer.
I knew how he had trained for three months in secret during
the spring of 1917 ; how, while others slept, he had crept down
to the cellar and spent hours a night doing the goose-step with
a forty-pound pack of tiles on his back, and how time and
again he had tested the vigilance of the sentries. As has been
already mentioned, his plan was discovered by his fellow
officers on the eve of his departure, and he was stopped by
them and placed on parole. The disappointment to him had
been almost unbearable. I guessed he was in the mood for
anything, and knew he would never " talk," even if he refused
my offer.
He possessed other qualities which would make him an
invaluable collaborator for me. He had extraordinary skill
with his hands. He was, perhaps, the most thorough, and
certainly the neatest carpenter in the camp. (The camera
which he secretly manufactured out of a Cadbury's cocoa-box
was a masterpiece of ingenuity and patience.) He could find
his way by day or night with equal ease, and he could drive
anything, from a wheelbarrow to an aeroplane or a railway
engine. Lastly, he was a wonderful conjuror, the best
amateur any of us had ever seen.
I knew I was choosing well, but I little knew how well.
Seeking a practical man, with patience and determination and
a close tongue, I was to find in Hill all these beyond measure,
and with them a great heart, courage that no hardship could
break, and loyalty like the sea.
I went straight to him on my return from the Commandant,
and led him aside to a quiet spot where we could talk. I
asked him what risks he was willing to take to get away from
Yozgad. He objected, at once, that he was on parole, and
that the feeling of the camp had to be considered.
" I know," I said, " but supposing I can get you off that
parole, and fix the camp safely, how far would you go ? "
Hill did not answer for a considerable time.
" You're not joking ? " he said, at last.
" No," I replied.
"Then I'll tell you." Hill spoke slowly and with emphasis.
" To get away from this damned country I'll go the pool -all out.
I won't be retaken alive."
The man was terribly in earnest. I told him, briefly, how
I had been struggling for months to get a hold over the Turks,
and how the opportunity had come that very afternoon. I
outlined my plans as far as they had been framed. Hill
listened eagerly, and in silence.
" It amounts to this," I concluded ; " before we openly
commit ourselves in any way towards escape, we must obtain
proof of the Commandant's complicity and place that proof in
the hands of somebody in the camp. That will make the
camp safe. I guarantee you nothing but a share in what will
look like a practical joke against the Turk. It may go no
further than that. And I warn you that if the Turk finds us
out, it may be unpleasant. It must be one thing at a time.
Once we have got the proof it will be time enough to decide
on our final line of action. We will then have a choice of three
things-escape, exchange, or compassionate release. Finally,
if you join up with me in this, you will be handicapping
yourself should we decide upon a straight run away. Apart from
my game leg, you could find plenty of fellows in camp who
could make rings round me across country."
We discussed the matter in and out, and finally agreed-
(1) So far as we ourselves were concerned,
to risk everything and go any length to get away.
(2) But on no account to implicate anyone else in the
camp. We must so arrange the escape that the Turks would
have no excuse whatsoever for strafing the others.
(3) To take nobody into our confidence until it was
absolutely necessary. There were plenty of men we could trust
not to give us away intentionally. But any one of them
might make a slip which would defeat our plans.
(4) When possible, to discuss every move beforehand, and
to follow the line agreed on.
(5) If circumstances prevented such discussion, Hill was
to follow my lead blindly, without question or alteration.
(6) If or when it came to a bolt across country, Hill was
to take charge.
We shook hands on this bargain, and separated : it did
not do to whisper too long in corners at Yozgad. I returned
to my Mess.
" What did they want with you in the office ? " Pa asked.
" Just some money that's expected," I said. " Where's my
lunch ? "
" Oh, we gave it to Jeanie, hours ago. Thought you
weren't coming."
Jeanie was the house dog. It was a mess joke to threaten
to give her my food if I was late for meals. I hunted round
till I found where Pa had hidden my cold porridge.
" You're up to some devilment," said Pa, watching me
wolf the nasty stuff.
" Why?"
" Because you're grinning. You're enjoying something
and I know it's not that grub."
I must be more careful!
CHAPTER VIII
IN WHICH WE BECOME THOUGHT-READERS
HILL and I met daily in odd corners, to discuss our
plans. The first step was obviously to get Hill
adopted as my fellow medium. It would have been simple
enough had Hill taken any prominent part in our seances,
but all his work had been behind the scenes. He had been
responsible for the manifestations, which was a task of an
extremely private nature, so the Pimple had no acquaintance
with him as a spookist. His sudden appearance as a medium
might give rise to suspicion.
Fortunately there was a way out of the difficulty which,
if properly handled, would not only solve it but at the same
time add to my reputation as a student of the occult in all its
branches. For a couple of months past Hill and I had been
secretly engaged on getting ready a leg-pull for the benefit of
the camp wiseacres. Hill knew from his study of conjuring
that stage telepathy was carried out by means of a code, and
we set to work by trial and error to manufacture a code for
our purposes. By the middle of January it was almost
complete, and we had become fairly expert in its use. With
the object of bewildering the camp, Hill then announced to a
few believers in spooking that he had learned telepathy in
Australia and would give lessons to one pupil who was really
in earnest. As a preliminary to the lessons, he said, the
pupil must undergo a complete fast for 72 hours, to get
himself into a proper receptive state. Most of us had had
enough of fasting during the last few years, so his offer
resulted, as we hoped it would, in only one application for
lessons in the telepathic art-that one being, of course, from
myself. For three days I took no meals in my Mess, and I
made a parade of the reason. To all appearances I was
fasting religiously. People told me I was getting weaker,
and that the whole thing was absurd. Which shows what the
imagination can do ; because three times a day I fed
sumptuously on tinned food (a luxury in Yozgad) and eggs, in the
privacy of Hill's room. At the conclusion of the " fast " Hill
" tested " me, and announced to the few believers interested
that I had attained the necessary receptive state, and that
he had accepted me as a pupil.
This was the position when the Commandant was hooked,
and after some discussion we saw how to use it to the greatest
advantage. We did not let the grass grow under our feet.
As luck would have it, there was an orderlies' concert on the
afternoon of February 2nd just three days after my interview
with the Commandant. Hill was down on the programme to
give his usual conjuring entertainment. When his turn came
to perform, he made a carefully rehearsed speech from the
platform. He said (which was quite true) that he had injured
his finger. He had found at the last moment that his finger
was too stiff to allow him to perform, but rather than leave a
gap in the programme he had decided to alter the nature of
his show at a moment's notice.
" As some of you know," he said, " I once underwent a
course of telepathy, or thought-reading, in Australia. Within
the last fortnight an officer in this camp went through the
painful preliminary of a three days' fast, and became my
pupil. Possibly because of his previous knowledge of the
occult, he has progressed at a surprising rate ; and, although
he considers himself far from ready for a public exhibition, he
has very kindly consented to help me in this predicament.
(Loud applause.) I ask you to remember that he is only a
beginner, and if our show turns out a complete failure you
will, I am sure, give him credit for his attempt."
Heaven knows it takes little enough to interest an audience
composed of prisoners of war. During the intervals between
our concerts and pantomimes and dramatic performances the
crowded camp was driven half crazy by fellows " practising "
for the next entertainment on landings and in bedrooms, and
all over the place. We knew every tune, and every mistake
it was possible to make in singing it, long before the " first "
(and usually only) " night." And especially did we abhor to
distraction the clog-dance practices. Yet, when the great
day came, we enjoyed every turn, and shouted vociferous and
most genuine applause. Everything was appreciated, from
the scenery painted on old Turkish newspapers to the
homemade instruments of the band. " As good as the Empire,"
or " Drury Lane can't beat that," we would say.
The camp knew nothing of the long hours Hill and I had
spent together asking and answering such innocent sounding
code questions as, " Quickly ! What have I here ? " " Tell
me what this is ? " " Now, do you know what this article
is ? " and so on. It was something new for them to get an
apparently unrehearsed show. The fact that the audience
contained a number of converts to spiritualism assisted us
greatly in obtaining the necessary atmosphere of credulous
wonder. Hill walked through the audience, asking me
(blindfolded on the platform and " in a semi-hypnotic state ") to
name the various articles handed to him, to quote the numbers
on banknotes, to read the time on watches, to identify persons
touched. Our failures were few enough to be negligible-
not more than half a dozen in all-and our successes were
numerous, and sometimes (as when Slim Jim produced a
stump of a candle from the " cag " in his pockets) startling.
Naturally, in the end, we were " as good as the Zanzigs," and
so on. A few suspected a code, and said so, but were utterly
in the dark as to how such a code could be arranged. Others
were simply bewildered. And still others, and among them
none more ardently than the Pimple, professed themselves
entirely satisfied that here at last was genuine telepathy and
nothing less. We learned afterwards that the Pimple left the
concert before its close to inform the Commandant of the
supernatural marvels he had witnessed.
On the evening of the same day (February 2nd, 1918),
the Pimple came round for his seance. He asked that it
should be as private as possible. It was therefore arranged
that only Mundey and Edmonds should be present in addition
to myself and the Pimple. There was, of course, no mention
of Hill.
The seance began in the usual manner. After a few
questions and answers, the Pimple asked and obtained
permission from the Spook to read out a written statement.
It was as follows :
"There is a treasure in the Schoolhouse. A man came
from Damascus and related to an acquaintance of mine the
following facts :
(i) Before the Armenians were driven out of
Yozgad the wife of the owner of this Schoolhouse with a little
boy and one or two other relations went at night to the garden
of the Schoolhouse and dug out a hole and buried about
£18,000. He is not certain of the amount. There were
jewels. A few days after, I think, they were all 'sent away.'
(ii) This man, hearing this news, escaped from Damascus,
where he was a soldier, came here, and told this to my
acquaintance, but as he did not know exactly the place his
information was of little value.
(iii) If what this man
says is true, will you kindly tell me the place ? I make the
following propositions to the three persons here tonight-
(a) I promise to give each of them 10% of all the
money and valuables if they accept these
propositions ;
(b) Or I offer 30% as they choose, with certain
restrictions as to the keeping of the money for the
safety of all until the war ends."
It was needless to ask why he applied to the Spook for
information instead of to the woman who had buried the
treasure. She was dead-long since-very probably tortured
to death in a vain effort to get her to reveal the whereabouts
of her wealth. For the late occupants of the Schoolhouse
had been wealthy people, and after they-were " sent away "
(we all knew what that meant) nothing had been found.
Behind the bald, cold-blooded statement which the Pimple
read out there lay a great tragedy, the tragedy of the Armenians of Yozgad.
The butchery had taken place in a valley
some dozen miles outside the town. Amongst our sentries
were men who had slain men, women, and children till their
arms were too tired to strike. They boasted of it amongst
themselves. And yet, in many ways, they were pleasant
fellows enough.
The mentality of the Turk is truly surprising. Supposing
I had the supernatural power which the Interpreter and
Commandant thought I possessed, was it likely that I,
presumably a Christian and avowedly an enemy, would be ready
to help them to the property of fellow Christians whom the
Turks had most foully murdered ? Yet they had put the
proposal to me without a hint of shame. Englishmen are
often upbraided with their inability to understand the
Oriental. But sometimes it is the Oriental who fails to
understand the Englishman.
" I revoke all claim to a share in this treasure," I said.
" As a medium, I am not allowed to gain."
Then we turned to the board for advice as to procedure.
The Spook promised to tell all, but warned us it would take
time. It instructed us to get proper mediums and place them
in a proper environment. It indicated Hill as the best
medium in the camp, but informed us that he was afraid to
"spook," and had kept his powers dark.
Next day the Pimple came to me beaming. He reported
having approached Hill, who with great reluctance had
confessed to being a medium. Hill had not seemed anxious
to take part in a seance, but under great pressure had agreed
to do so. The Pimple was greatly pleased. He did not know
how carefully Hill's reluctance had been rehearsed. He
reported to the Commandant that thanks to a hint from the
Spook and his own persuasive powers, he had secured the best
possible man to help me in my task. Nothing was further
from his thoughts than that Hill and I were confederates.
CHAPTER IX
HOW THE SPOOK WROTE A MAGIC LETTER AND ARRANGED
OUR ARREST
THE Thought-Reading Exhibition had aroused great
interest. A number of our fellow prisoners wanted
Hill to give them lessons, but most of them fought shy of
the three days' starvation which was the necessary preliminary.
A few-amongst them some of our best friends in camp-
offered to undergo the fast, and Hill had all his work cut out
to persuade them not to. He finally resorted to the plea
that he could not undertake more than one pupil at a time.
The exhibition had one good result. Hearing Hill explain
that my progress in telepathy was being hampered by lack
of privacy, Doc. O'Farrell placed his Dispensary at our
disposal for our experiments. As a quid pro quo we promised
that he should be taken on as the next pupil as soon as my
education was completed.
The Dispensary was a tiny room over the Majors' wood-
store. It was exactly the place we needed. Here we could
meet without fear of interruption. Everybody knew we were
studying the problems of telepathy, which was a sufficient
explanation of our constant hobnobbing, both for the Turks
and for our fellow-prisoners. So nobody suspected us of
plotting to escape, as they would infallibly have done had
there been no ready-made reason assignable for our conferences.
Here, then, we discussed our plans, and here the
Pimple came from time to time to get the benefit of our
discussions in the form of oracular utterances by the Spook.
The policy pursued by Hill and myself throughout our long
campaign against the Turk was always to concentrate on the
obstacle immediately ahead, and while taking every reasonable
precaution about the future, not to trouble about it overmuch
until we had crossed the nearest fence and seen what lay on
the other side. In pursuance of our object not to implicate
the others, we decided that the first thing to be done was to
get moved out of the camp. But the flitting must be so
arranged that the camp would not suspect we ourselves had
planned it, while the Commandant, on the other hand, must
be equally convinced that we had no other motive than to
find the treasure.
We felt that escape from separate confinement outside the
camp would make it difficult for the Commandant to charge
our comrades with complicity, and at the
same time it would make it easier for us to devote our whole
energies to getting a strangle-hold on Kiazim Bey. The
danger of discovery would be lessened by more than half;
for we stood in greater fear of the detective abilities of our
fellow-prisoners than of those of the Turk. Discovery by
either would have meant our being stopped.
While reconnoitring the ground up to this obstacle-and we
did so very carefully-it struck us that there was no reason
why the move itself should not be so engineered as to become
the direct cause of our release by the Turks. Johnny Turk is
a queer mixture of brutality and chivalry. It was quite on
the cards that if we could get the Commandant to commit a
glaring faux pas at our expense, and if we could at the same
time get the British or neutral authorities to represent the
matter to Constantinople, the Turkish War Office might
compensate us by granting us a compassionate release.
Indeed, such a release had already been granted to an officer
named Fitzgerald who had been wrongfully thrown into
prison early in the War. So it was not entirely a castle in
Spain that we were building.
We decided to induce Kiazim Bey to sentence us to a term
of imprisonment, under conditions as harsh as we could get
him to impose. There was little chance, however, that he
would so sentence us wrongfully ; he stood in too great a fear
of his own War Office to do that. But perhaps we might
succeed in getting him to do so on a charge which to everyone
but himself was manifestly and on the face of it absurd. If
there is one thing the Young Turk desires it is to be regarded
by Europe as civilized, and if there is one thing he fears it is
the ridicule of civilization. If we could arrange something,
the publication of which would render him a laughing-stock
in the eyes of Europeans, the Young Turk Government at
Constantinople would gladly either cut our throats to ensure
our silence, or grant us a compassionate release to prove that
they had the civilized standpoint and to throw the blame on
the local subordinate. We thought it was about an even
chance which course they would pursue, but decided that the
risk was worth while.
Our talks were long and earnest. We examined and
rejected scores of possibilities. And we finally decided, first,
to aim at being " jugged " without cause or trial ; or, failing
that, to get ourselves sentenced to imprisonment, after a
public trial, on a charge of obtaining War news by telepathic
communications. I knew I could beat the Turkish censor
and get details of the charge and sentence to England, and if
this charge was not absurd enough to galvanize our War
Office or the Dutch Embassy into protest, we would give up
all hope of outside assistance bringing us our compassionate
release, and rely, as Mr. Smiles advises good boys to do, on
Self-Help.
It took exactly a month to achieve our aim. The first
" Dispensary Seance " was held on February 6th, 1918. On
March 6th, on the charge of obtaining and sending military
information by means of telepathy, Hill and I were arrested,
tried in the presence of brother officers, and condemned to
solitary confinement until the end of the War.
The genius that brought about this desirable state of
affairs was the Spook. A verbatim report of every question
and answer set to, and given by, our spirit-guide between
February 6th and the date we left Yozgad is before me as I
write. It is a transcript of the records carefully kept by the
Pimple, who had read Raymond (a copy reached our camp
just about this time), and by our advice modelled his attitude
on that of Sir Oliver Lodge. Indeed, except in the matter of
fame, the two had something in common, for in civil life the
Pimple also called himself a Professor. So, thanks to his
industry and " scientific methods " of research, it is possible
to give an accurate summary of the doings and sayings of our
" Control," and where necessary to quote its exact words. For
the historian the scientific method has much to commend itself.
Our Spook began by greeting Hill with every symptom of
friendliness. The glass did not exactly " caress " him-we
bad not yet reached such advanced proficiency-but it spelled
out its delight at the meeting, and it ignored the Pimple. It
went on to warn us we were making an improper use of the
Ouija. It was wrong to seek gain, wrong and dangerous,
especially for " dear C. W. H." Under the best possible
conditions the discovery of the treasure would take a long
time, possibly many months. And the present conditions
were hopeless.
" You must live together," said the Spook to Hill and
myself, " so that your two minds become as one mind and
your thoughts are one thought. Also it is most necessary that
it be all kept profoundly secret. Above all you must be free
from other thought influences ;... the other prisoners
unconsciously project their thoughts between you, thus
preventing unity. You ought to be removed elsewhere.
Even prison would be better for you than this. It would be
easier to communicate if you were alone. In one or two
months you could attain more rapid methods, such as direct
speech, but it is hopeless without privacy and peaceful
surroundings. Remember I, too, have immense difficulties
on this side. Ask them " (i.e., the Commandant and the
Pimple) " either to give up all hope of my help in finding the
treasure, or do what I say and remove you." And It again
suggested we should be clapped into prison.
Then Moise dropped into French, which he imagined
neither Hill nor I understood.
" Remove ? Demenager pour de bon, or go for a sitting ? "
" Pour de bon, mon ami," the Spook replied. " C'est
absolument necessaire." He added that it was necessary in
order that the mediums "might get into tune."
Without being "in tune" they could not finds the treasure.
This was enough for one sitting, so the " force began to go,"
as the Spiritualists put it, and the Pimple found himself
confronted with the delicate task of breaking the news to the
mediums. It must be borne in mind that, as is usual with all
mediums of any standing, Hill and I were always " absolutely
ignorant " of what had been said by the Spook until the Pimple
saw fit to read it out to us. At times it was a matter of no
little difficulty to avoid displaying our knowledge of what
had occurred. When, for example, the Pimple had omitted a
negative, or in some other simple way altered the whole tenor
of the Spook's order, it was extremely tempting to correct him.
But that would have been fatal. We learned to endure his
mistakes in silence.
The Pimple told us, very gently and very sympathetically,
that the Control wanted to put us in prison. Hill and I were,
of course, suitably horror-stricken-but we gradually allowed
ourselves to be persuaded to endure even prison if necessary.
For we admitted that there seemed to be no other way of
finding the treasure, and that I was pledged to the
Commardant to do my best. Besides, Hill let out casually, he
had had one experience in Australia of thwarting a Spook's
wishes, and not for all the wealth of the Indies would he risk
such a thing again. Moise naturally asked what the experience was,
but Hill could only cover his face with his hands
and shudder. It was TOO DREADFUL to be told.
So insistent had been the Pimple in persuading us to adopt
the Spook's plan that we thought we had won our point in the
first round. But we had reckoned without the Commandant.
It has already been indicated that we knew nothing of that
gentleman's real character. He revealed it now.
An autocrat and a tyrant to all under his sway, he was the most
abject slave of his own superiors. The post of Commandant
in a Prisoner of War Camp was highly coveted, hard to
obtain, and correspondingly easy to lose. To lose it might
mean having to face the music at the front. Bimbashi
Kiazim Bey did not want that. So next day the Pimple
explained to us with tears in his eyes that the Commandant
would not, on any account, risk his position by putting us into
prison without cause. He feared a reprimand from Constantinople.
We replied that it must be prison or nothing, for who were
we to improve upon the suggestions of our Control ? No, we
certainly would not assault a sentry or do anything that
would justify our conviction. That was not a fair proposition
to us. But we would go to jail, without any fuss, if he cared
to send us.
Thus we struggled with the Pimple for. eleven days, but in
the end saw it was hopeless. The Commandant would forego
the treasure rather than risk anything. He had not yet
acquired the faith in us which made him, later on, snap his
fingers at his own War Office. The furthest he was willing to
go was to re-open what was known as " the Colonels' House,"
a building, now empty, which had formerly formed part of the
camp. Hill and I could then go and stay there. But if other
prisoners also wanted to go, the Commandant would not
prevent them, as it would look suspicious. He must not show
favouritism as it would get him into trouble!
The Cook and the Pimple danced with rage-especially the
cook-over their superior's pusillanimity. But there it was.
To tell the truth, Hill and I were equally disgusted. We
wanted prison. We wished heartily that the Cook was our
Connnandant! But we pretended to be grateful to Kiazim
Bey for taking up such a bold stand against carrying out the
Spook's wishes. We told the Pimple that we ourselves would
never have dared to do so, knowing, as we did, the Power of
the Control. We sent him our thanks, and as he had incurred
so much danger on our behalf, to save us from the vileness of
a Turkish jail, we allowed ourselves to be persuaded to undergo
a little danger for him. We would hold one more seance
and put to the Spook his suggestion about the re-opening of
the Colonels' House.
The seance was held in the Dispensary on the 17th of
February. Hill and I had made our preparations with
considerable care.
The Spook repeated its suggestion of prison. Moise
explained that it was impossible, and suggested the Colonels'
House, at the same time pointing out that other prisoners might
want to go there and that we saw no way of preventing them.
On the Raymond model, the next part of the seance is
quoted verbatim from our records.
SPOOK. " If I tell you how to do it, will you obey? "
MOISE. " If it is possible and does not involve too
much hardship. Will you please tell us what we are to
do?"
SPOOK. " First, in order to conceal from others the real
reason of the mediums being placed apart and to safeguard
the Superior, they will be formally arrested."
MOISE. " My objection to that is the Superior cannot
arrest them without excuse."
SPOOK. "Moise must say he found a letter incriminating them."
MOISE. "Yes, but the objection to that is,supposing Colonel Maule, the Senior
Officer (of the camp) asks to see the letter?"
SPOOK. " If I show my power, will you cease arguing ? "
MOISE (in alarm). " Are you going to manifest, or do us
any harm ? "
SPOOK. " No. Merely a wonderful thing."
MOISE. " Yes. We will be quite willing to see that."
SPOOK (emphatically). " If I do this you must obey."
MOISE. " It will not prevent Colonel Maule asking to see
the letter."
SPOOK. " It will satisfy Col. Maule and solve your
difficulty."
MOYSE. " Very good. Please tell us what we are going to
do?"
SPOOK. " Take a clean sheet of paper."
MOISE. (picking up a half sheet of notepaper out of a
number that were lying about). " Here is one."
SPOOK. "Examine it."
MOISE. " There is a watermark and the words `English
Manufacture' stamped."
SPOOK. "Each of you fold it once squarely, with the sun."
(Moise folded it, handed it to Hill, who again folded it, and
handed it to me. I folded it for the third time and placed it
on the table. All this was done openly, above the table, in
broad daylight.)
MOISE. "We have done it."
SPOOK. " Next let Moise hold it on his head."
(Picking up the paper between finger and thumb I handed
it to Molse.)
MOISE. " In which hand ? With or without cap ? "
SPOOK. "Left. Without cap."
(Moise removed his balaclava-an English-made one, no
doubt stolen from one of our parcels.)
MOISE " I have put it on my head " (holding it there).
SPOOK. " This is the letter you found, remember."
MOISE. (after a pause, during which the glass moved
violently in circles and the mediums grew more and more
exhausted). " May I take it off now ? "
SPOOK. " Yes."
MOYSE. "May I open it ? "
SPOOK. "Have you promised to obey ? "
MOISE. "We all promised whatever we can to obey it."
SPOOK. "Open it."
(Note by Moise in record : " Both mediums under very
high strain.")
MOISE. (in great excitement, seeing the paper was now
written on). " May I read it ? "
This is what the Pimple read out, written in a good feminine
hand:-
"I think the experiment has been successful. Last night
at the stated time we received a telepathic message through
two fellow-prisoners. It said 'Forces being sent South from
Caucasus.' Let me know if this was the exact message sent.
If it is correct there is no need to incur further danger of
discovery by writing messages. The rest of our arrangements
can be made by telepathy. The mediums have been sworn
to secrecy and can be absolutely trusted. Put your reply in
the usual place. IMPORTANT. ZKZVOCZHUFGCGCAVYHCYACAKLRMTUODUFUHIZLTOEPCCV."
(This is really a code sentence (code-word " Bonhil," code Playfair).
It was put in for our own protection should things go seriously
against us at any future time. Decoded it reads : " Take note this is a
leg-pull against both Turks and camp.")
When this was read aloud to us by the Pimple, Hill and I
grew greatly alarmed, and questioned the Spook.
JONES (in alarm). " Can Hill and I withdraw, because
this might do us harm ? "
SPOOK. " If you withdraw now you are doomed."
JONES (much agitated). " I will not withdraw. What are
we to do ? "
SPOOK. " Obey."
(Note by Moise : Both mediums were cold, giddy, and
shivering at this point.)
The Spook went on writing. Moise, who was recording
the letters touched by the glass, suddenly gave an exclamation
of surprise.
" The Spook says this is all true," he said to us. " It says
this letter is word for word the same as one which has actually
been sent."
Hill and I simulated great agitation.
" I know it is true," I replied ; " that is why we wanted to
withdraw ! "
" But I thought this letter was merely an invention of the
Spook," said Moise.
" I wish it was," I said, " for he has given away what we
had intended to keep as a deep secret, as it involves others."
" Jones and I got that telepathic message about the
Caucasus troops last night," said Hill.
" This becomes very serious and very complicated," said
the Pimple.
" I know it does," I said. " Haven't I tried to withdraw ?
But the Spook threatens us, and we can't! What are we
to do ? "
" If Moise will keep quiet about what we have said," Hill
suggested, " perhaps the Commandant will still think it all an
invention of the Spook's."
" Could you delete from your record that last sentence
where the Spook says it is all true ? " I asked.
" Yes," said Moise, and drew his pencil lightly through it.
" And you promise not to tell the Commandant we have
really been working this telepathy business with somebody
outside the camp, won't you ? We fear he will be seriously
angry and really punish us. If it wasn't for the Spook's
threats we would stop now ! "
The Pimple soothed our fears, gave us his promise-and
broke it (as we hoped he would) as soon as the seance was
ended.
All this was not merely gratuitous by-play. We were
making a strong bid to capture the Commandant's full belief,
and every step in the seance had been carefully planned
beforehand. The manner in which the magic letter was
written, in broad daylight and on a piece of paper selected by
Moise himself, seemed of itself something of a miracle. It
was quite enough to impress the Commandant with the belief
that he was up against supernatural forces. (Of course it
really was nothing more than an extremely fine specimen of
Hill's sleight-of-hand. So deft were his movements that even
I, who knew what to expect, had missed seeing the actual
substitution of the prepared letter for Moise's blank paper,
which had been " forced " on him, watermark and all, much
as one " forces " the choice of a card.)
Then the matter of the magic letter, if true, was of extreme
importance to the Commandant, for it indicated that amongst
his prisoners of war were two mediums capable of sending and
receiving messages of military importance. Our agitation,
our attempt at withdrawal, our confession to the Pimple and
our request that he should hide from the Commandant the
fact that the contents were really true-all these were certain
to be reported to Kiazim Bey, and we hoped that our anxiety
for him to consider the contents of the letter as pure spiritistic
fiction would have exactly the opposite effect.
Once he believed the contents of the letter were true, he
must necessarily conclude that Hill and I were the tools of
the mysterious agency which had written it and not vice versa.
So we pretended It had given away a secret which we had
wished to be kept hidden, and which endangered our safety.
The central idea on which our whole plan pivoted, and on
which not only our success but our very safety would depend,
was that we were mere mouthpieces of the Spook, unconscious
of what was being said through us and quite incapable of
altering or adding to it of our own will. The Commandant
must learn to treat us as impersonally as he would treat a
telephone on his office table.
After the interlude of the confession, the Pimple asked the
Spook to explain what was to be done with this mysterious
letter, and how it was going to attain for us the seclusion
necessary for " our thoughts to become one thought, and our
minds one mind."
The Spook gave full instructions. It pointed out that the
letter referred to two mediums who had received a telepathic
message. It reminded the Turks that Hill and I had recently
given a public exhibition of telepathy. We were known as
telepathists to the whole camp, and there were no others.
Therefore we two must be the mediums indicated. And it
informed them that the camp believed in our powers
as thought-readers and thought-transmitters, and would
admit that belief if properly taxed with it, thereby
justifying the Commandant in sentencing us to solitary confinement.
The obvious course was, therefore, for the Commandant
to set about obtaining this admission of belief, without the
camp knowing beforehand the purpose for which he required
it. The Spook advised him to set a trap, and showed him how
to do it. He should say he was interested in telepathy, and
having heard of the recent exhibition, he would like to talk
over the matter with the two principals and with any other
officers who cared to come. The Spook suggested that the
Doctor in particular, as a " man of science," should be invited.
Having got the company into the office, the Commandant
would question them as to the possibility of telepathy. He
would find that they all considered it perfectly possible, and
that they regarded Jones and Hill as exponents of the new
science. On the strength of this confession of faith he could
produce the Spook letter and ask of Jones and Hill if the
telepathic message therein referred to had been received by
them. They would admit having received it. He would
then demand the names of their confederates, which they
would refuse. He could then formally charge them with
being in telepathic communication on military matters with
persons outside, and as their fellow-officers had already given
evidence that Jones and Hill could send and receive thoughts,
he could convict and sentence them without any fear of local
disapprobation or of unpleasant consequences from Constantinople.
" If you do not carry out the plan," said the
Spook in conclusion, " there will be trouble."
" As a matter of fact," the Pimple said, buttoning the
record of the seance inside his coat, " you and Hill can be
honestly tried for obtaining this war news. You have been
doing it, so the Spook is not telling lies."
" But don't tell the Commandant that," I begged.
" You are again doing as in Kut," said Moise knowingly.
" As in Kut ? " I was genuinely at a loss for the moment.
" Yes! When Townshend employed you to read the
Minds of our Turkish generals," said Moise, resurrecting
Freak's lie of six months before.
"The devil!" I exclaimed. " Who told you that ? "
The Pimple looked very proud of himself. " Never
mind," he said. " I, too, know things."
"I wish I was out of this," Hill said. " It is too dangerous.
I would like to withdraw from the whole business."
The Pimple laughed at him. " But you dare not, you fear
too much the Spook!"
CHAPTER X
H0W WE WERE TRIED AND CONVICTED FOR TELEPATHY
THERE followed a delightfully busy fortnight for Hill
and myself. We made a minute study of a large
book on mental diseases, purloined from the Doctor's library,
and improved our minds with other medical lore about an
illness to which the Commandant was subject. Under a
specious plea we borrowed from Spink an Armenian-French
dictionary-a treasured possession which he kept hidden
under a movable plank in the floor of his room. Spink was
an industrious and painstaking youth. With a view to a
possible escape, and with the aid of George Borrow's Lavengro,
he had transliterated the Armenian alphabet. This was to
prove most useful. He had also drawn up an Armenian
phrase-book, which I studied with such diligence and profit
that later on the Spook of the murdered owner of the treasure
appeared and spoke to us in the Armenian tongue ! But for
the present the use of the dictionary was to enable Hill to
manufacture two brief but extremely interesting Armenian
documents. These we enclosed, along with some ashes from
our charcoal brazier and two Turkish gold sovereigns, in two
small tin cases. The cases were buried by Hill, three miles
apart, while he was out ski-ing. As the Ski-Club was also
due to Spink's initiative, we owe that ornament of the Indian
Public Works Department a deep debt of gratitude.
While Hill was busy with his document-making and his
burying, it was my duty to inculcate a proper respect for
telepathy in the chosen witnesses of the forthcoming trial.
Doc. O'Farrell was already converted. He would do " as he
was " for one witness at our trial ; but we threw in a private
exhibition to make all secure. Almost any of the juniors
would do for a second. We also required at least two field
officers, preferably with Red Tabs, and one of the two ought
to have an official position in the camp. A couple of days of
the Socratic method convinced Peel. A " practical experiment "
in which Hill conveyed to me " by telepathy " that he
had been shown a black-handled knife when two miles away
from the camp, satisfied the Adjutant, Gilchrist, who owned
and had shown the knife. We had our four " witnesses " for
the trial ready, and knew they would all swear to the
possibility of telepathy in all genuineness. En passant, it is worthy
of remark that one witness who believes that what he says is
true (though it may be as false an Ananias's best effort) is
worth ten of a conscious liar in any Court of Law.
Then, in case the Turks saw fit to test the accuracy of the
Spook's assertion concerning the telepathic receipt of the
message about the movement of troops from the Caucasus, it
became necessary to receive such a message at a seance.
Mundey and Edmonds, both true believers, were victimized.
We received the message in their presence, and at the bidding
the Spook gave our words of honour to keep its source a
secret. This "word of honour" came in most usefully later
on.
Lastly, there were two men in the camp-Barton and
Nightingale-who knew the secret of our telepathic code. It
was quite possible that if the Turks arrested us for telepathy
these two men would expose the code in order to obtain our
release. We could easily have trusted them with the whole
glory, but on our principle to implicate nobody and tell
nobody-until it became absolutely necessary-we decided
to keep quiet. A hint to say nothing, whatever happened,
was sufficient for these two loyal friends.
We were now ready for anything the Commandant might
care to do-the worse the better, within limits. But the
Commandant was by no means ready to begin. Up to a
point our plotting and lying had been completely successful.
He accepted without question the truth of the information
contained in the magic letter, but he was doubtful about the
future and he wanted to make himself perfectly safe with his
own War Office. It took three more seances to satisfy him,
for he had piles of questions to ask the Spook. Must he
report the trial to Constantinople, and if so what should he
say ? What would the camp think ? What would Colonel
Maule say in his monthly sealed letter to Headquarters?
What if the War Office wanted to punish the mediums more
severely ? What was the sentence to be ? How many days,
or weeks, or months ? How severe the conditions of imprisonment ?
Supposing the War Office asked where the
letter was found, or who found it? Supposing the prisoners
should write home about the matter, was he to destroy their
letters ? What was the best day of the week to begin on ?
And so forth and so on. The Spook solved each and all of
these problems in a most satisfactory way. It dictated his
report to Constantinople.
(This report was sent by the Commandant to the Turkish War Office
on 18th March, 1918, and was the first of a series of official
documents dictated by the Spook.)
It promised to reveal within a
month of the trial the secret of how the treasure was buried.
It promised to safeguard the Commandant from any possible
punishment by his superiors. And It threatened in most
bloodthirsty terms to be avenged if we did not adopt the plan
over which It had spent so much thought and care.
At the beginning of each month our Senior Officer was
permitted to send to Turkish Headquarters at Constantinople
a sealed letter. This the local Yozgad authorities were not
allowed to censor. The object was to give prisoners the
opportunity of criticizing the conduct of the Commandant
direct to the Turkish War Office. The Commandant was
anxious that this letter should be sent off before we began
operations. With any luck, we might have found the treasure
before the month was out and the next letter sent. Hill and
I would then be back in camp and Colonel Maule would have
no cause to grouse about our treatment. So the Commandant
argued. Hill and I were fairly confident that so long as our
imprisonment did not affect the comfort of the rest of the
camp in general, nothing much would be said about it, however
absurd the charge against us might be. We would be allowed
to " dree oor ain weird." But we did not say so to the
Commandant. We agreed with him that, in view of the
" solidarity of the British Empire," and the curious habit
British Senior Officers have of interesting themselves in the
welfare of their juniors, this was a bit of a problem. So we left
it to the Spook to answer. The Spook decided that the best
date to begin operations was that immediately following the
day on which Colonel Maule posted his monthly letter.
On Saturday, March 2nd, 1918, Colonel Maule sent his
sealed letter up to the Commandant's office. On March 3rd
Hill and I asked for and received from the Interpreter the
full " score " of the forthcoming trial-a lengthy, written
document embodying all the instructions of the Spook. We
were asked to make certain we had our parts pat, and to
reply if we agreed to the programme. I saw the Pimple that
evening in the lane, and told him we agreed, but did not return
his written instructions. These we intended to keep, for they
would be valuable and irrefutable evidence of the complicity
of the Turks in our designs. But Johnny Turk was risking
nothing. The wily Oriental is thoroughly well aware of the
fact that litera scripta manet. On March 4th the Cook came
to our room and began fiddling with our stove. He made
unintelligible demands for a " tinnike." Then when no one
was looking he slipped into my hands the following note, the
original of which I still possess-
DEAR JONES,
" I send you the Cook under pretext of inspecting the
stove and demanding a tobacco flat tin. Will you give him
the Instructions I gave you yesterday to which you have
agreed ?
Yours,
MOISE."
To refuse would be to arouse suspicion and possibly upset
all our plans. There was nothing for it but to hand over the
evidence.
On the same day-March 9th-the Pimple reported that
Colonel Maule's letter had been consigned to the mercies of
the Turkish Post Office. Hill and I went over our
arrangements for the last time, and made certain we had left nothing
undone. According to programme we were to be arrested
next day.
But March 5th came and went. All day long Hill and I
waited and longed for our arrest. It did not come. In the
evening the Pimple arrived and informed us that the
Commandant had been too busy taking part in the celebrations of
the Russian Peace. We knew it for a lie. We knew that he
was " ratting " at the last moment, that once more he was
funking a possible reprimand from Constantinople. But it
would never do to say so. Instead, we simulated joy at our
reprieve. We said that with luck this would be the last of the
unhappy affair, and that we were glad to be relieved of the
burden. Then we expressed our earnest hope that the Spook
would visit no punishment on the Commandant or the Pimple
for their failure to obey. But after the Pimple had gone we
raged together, up and down the lane and round and round
the Hospital garden, till the sentries drove us indoors at dark.
We both spent a miserable night. For it looked as if the War
might last another twenty years-and our plan had failed.
On the morning of March 6th, about 10.30a.m., Moise
came to us and complained that he had been "spooked,"
that the Commandant had been very angry with him; and
that while pretending to be too unwell to carry out the
programme, he really intended to postpone it for good and all,
because of his fear of Constantinople.
" I am certain," said the unhappy Pimple, " that the
Spook has put into his head ideas against me. Otherwise he
could not have known. It is the beginning of our punishment
for yesterday's delay. I know it. I am sure. And his turn
will come ! " Then he begged for one last seance to consult
the Spook.
" But what have you been up to, to make him angry ? " I
asked, as we walked together towards the Dispensary.
The Pimple refused to admit that he had been up to
anything, and called the Commandant " a jealous pig." Hill
immediately winked at me. We let well alone, and stopped
our pumping.
We sat down to the spook-board. There had been no
time for a special consultation, but this was likely to be our
last chance and we must use it.
Moise wrote down a question without uttering it, and
slipped it under the board for the Spook to answer. This
was awkward. At previous seances the Spook had shown its
power of answering questions in this way. To-day, however,
we were not prepared for the test. But I had managed to
get a glimpse of one word as he wrote, and that word was
suggestive. It was " pardon."
" No use begging pardon," said the Spook; " obey and
BEWARE! "
Then came a long pause, the glass remaining quite motionless.
Moise grew more and more impatient.
" Please answer what to do," he said at last.
For at least ten minutes there was no movement in the
glass, for I was thinking hard what to say, and could see no
light. We told the Pimple that the glass felt " dead," as if
there was no one there. He got more and more highly strung
and excited, and kept begging the Control to return. He
threw a sheet of paper on to the board and asked the Control
to write on it if he would not use the glass. As soon as the
paper touched the board, the Control " manifested," and both
Hill and I had our hands simultaneously dragged away from
the glass by some invisible force. For some time we tried to
get our fingers on the glass again, but were prevented by the
invisible agent. The Pimple's excitement rose to fever pitch
as he watched the struggle. We became more and more
exhausted, and finally had to rest.
" This is terrible," said Hill, mopping his brow. " I think
we had better chuck it. The Control is poisonously angry,
and Heaven knows what he may not do."
The Pimple begged us to try once more. We did, and got
our fingers on the glass without much difficulty. The Spook
gave proof of his presence by moving the glass about. The
necessary idea had come to us.
" What will you do ? " Moise asked.
" I can but bring on the old pains," said the Spook.
" What do you mean, please ? "
(This is where our study of the
biliary colic, first came in useful.)
" Vomiting," the Spook answered. " Vomiting! Shivers!
Such agony that he will roll about and scream for mercy!
He Knows well, but I shall choose my own time. Unless
orders are obeyed to-day I forbid my mediums to grant
further sittings under penalty of madness to themselves.
Good-bye."
"How can I make the Commandant do it ? " Moise asked.
Before a reply was possible both mediums had their
fingers again thrown from the glass and appeared to
experience a sensation which the sitter in his notes describes briefly
As " electric shock." The Control was obviously angry.
Hill and I refused to venture any further, and we asked
Moise to say so to the Commandant. Moise suggested
that we should put our views in writing. We therefore wrote
the Commandant a joint letter, in which we expressed our
regret that he was unwell, and hoped he would be sufficiently
recovered by the afternoon to begin the experiment. We
ended by saying that in view of the Control's threats we could
not (for our own sakes as well as for the sake of the Commandant)
go any further in the matter unless it was put in hand that
day.
The Pimple hurried off with the letter and the record of the
seance.
"There goes our last chance, old chap," I said to Hill as
soon as we were left alone. "If that doesn't fetch him, we've
failed."
" Oh no," said Hill, " we can always smash up a sentry a
bit. They'll lock us up quick enough for that. We can tell
the Commandant privately we were spooked into doing it!"
Right-o!" I agreed. " We'll try that next. I want to
biff that little beast with the top boots, anyway."
" Mine's the Mulazim," said Hill. " He needs a thick
ear. Do him good."
Alone, I believe I would have thrown up the sponge, and
resigned myself to growing grey in what looked like indefinite
captivity. Hill's determination renewed my waning hopes.
We began plotting again.
We might have spared ourselves the trouble. The force
of example proved a powerful incentive to obedience. The
Commandant must have remembered how the Spook's threat
of doom had brought Hill and myself to our knees when we
wished to withdraw from the treasure-hunt, and how we had
preferred to risk punishment from the Turk rather than the
wrath of the Unknown. The prospect of a recurrence of his
malady frightened him into action. At 2 p.m. the following
note was brought to me by a sentry-(I again quote the
original)-
" LIEUTENANT JONES,
" The Commandant should like to talk a little with
you about thought-reading and telepathy. Will you ask a
few officers to come up with you to the office in order to have
a little show ?
(Signed) for the Commandant,
THE INTERPRETER-MOISE."
We invited to accompany us the four officers whom we
had long since marked down as suitable for this purpose.
They all accepted. Three of the four wrote down that same
evening their recollections of what occurred. The following
account is composed of an extract from each of the three
independent reports. It shows how exactly " the little show "
followed the instructions of the Spook. (The fourth witness,
being mightier with the sword than with the pen, refrained
from committing his impressions to paper.)
(I begin with an extract from Major Peel's account)
'About 2.30 p.m. Lieut. Jones and Hill were sent for to
the Commandant's office 'to talk about thought-reading,' and
asked to bring with them one or two other officers. Jones
asked me, Gilchrist, W. Smith and O'Farrell, who are all
interested in the subject, to accompany him. Arrived at the
Commandant's office, the Commandant shook hands with us
and asked us to sit down. He then, through the Interpreter,
asked Jones, ' What is telepathy ? ' Jones explained, giving
Greek derivation, etc.
" COMMANDANT. ' How is it done ? '
"JONES. ' It is not known bow it is done any more than it
is It known how electricity works, but it is similar to electricity
in that there is a sender and a receiver, and thought-waves
can be sent by one and picked up by another.'
" COMMANDANT (to O'Farrell). ' Is this a medical fact ? '
" O 'FARRELL. ' It is a well-known fact like mesmerism.'
" JONES. ' You can ask Major Gilchrist if it is possible.' "
(I now quote from the Doctor)
" Major Gilchrist then said that he sent a (telepathic)
message down through Lieut. Hill from the top of South hill
while out ski-ing, and when he returned Lieut. Jones told him
the thought that Lieut. Hill sent.
" The Commandant asked what the object (thought of)
was, and Major Gilchrist said it was a black knife.
The Commandant now became uneasy. He had the
drawer of his desk a quarter open, and kept on putting his
hand inside and fingering something.
" I then said that another instance of thought transference
was one he must have done himself. Say, for instance, you
are in a room and you want to attract someone's attention ; if
you look at him hard, he will look round at you.
" The Commandant now put his hand in the desk, drew out
a half-sheet of paper (I think quarto, such as is used in a
Turkish Government Office) and handed it to Jones.
" Lieut. Jones showed marked agitation while reading the
note. He bit his lip, clenched his hands, and appeared as if
he was suffering from extreme excitement, from a medical
point of view, and as if he was going into a trance from a
psycho-physical point of view."
(The conclusion is taken from Major Gilchrist's narrative) :
"The Commandant . . . asked Lieut. Jones what he had
to say. Jones said he did not deny that he had received and
sent telepathic messages, and had received war news by these
means. The Commandant then asked him who his correspondent was.
Jones refused to state. The Commandant
then threatened Lieut. Jones with solitary confinement,
without his orderly, and on bread and water, unless he told
him who his correspondent was. He was given 24 hours
to decide whether he would answer or not. Further, he
was asked to give his word of honour not to communicate
telepathically with anyone. This he said he could not do as
he could not control his thoughts. When again informed that
he must give the names of his correspondent or be court-
martialled, and must give his word of honour, Lieut. Jones
replied, 'I have given my word of honour not to disclose my
correspondent. If I break this word, what is the use of my
word not to communicate ? ' The Commandant then said
he would not put Lieut. Jones on bread and water until he
had news from Constantinople, and again the Commandant
said that his duty to his country made him insist on demanding
the name of the correspondent. Lieut. Jones said that the
Power his gift gave him also made it his duty to assist his
country. Lieut. Jones demanded of the Commandant what
charge he would be tried on, and asked, 'Am I to be tried on
a charge of communicating telepathically with outsiders and
not divulging the name when asked for it ? '
The Commandant assured him it was so. Lieut. Jones then stated
that 24 or 48 hours would not make any difference. He
would not divulge the name. . . ."
We left the office for our 24 hours' grace, Hill and I
secretly triumphant but outwardly indignant, and our four
witnesses in a mood very different from that in which they
had entered the sacred precincts. They were now much
chastened. They had expected to see the Turk betray an
intelligent interest in the mysterious phenomena of telepathy,
which they themselves had found so engrossing. They had
willingly imparted to him their own knowledge of the difficult
problem : but they had never dreamed that their belief in
telepathy would be turned to practical use against two of
their fellow-officers, and they felt that, while in common with
our two selves they had been very neatly trapped, their
ingenuous little confession of faith had gone not a little way
towards hanging us.
" I never thought the Commandant had it in him to work
out such a trap," said the Doc.
"Yes," said Gilchrist, " it was typically Oriental-and
confoundedly clever."
Their respect for the Commandant's ability had suddenly
risen to boiling-point. They could talk of little else as we
walked back to camp.
There is one point on which these three good fellows are
silent in their written reports. I had committed what was in
their eyes the unpardonable sin. I had given away my
accomplice-Hill. When to all appearance there was no
need for it, I inculpated him with myself, and indeed went
rather out of my way to mention his name. To them it was
inexplicable. It was conduct utterly unworthy of a British
officer. They taxed me with it as soon as we reached camp,
and asked why I had done such a thing. I looked as ashamed
as possible. The trap, I said, had taken me unawares. I
had lost my temper-and my head-and blurted out my
confession, which involved Hill, before I knew where I was.
Of their charity (I forget if Charity also is blind, but she ought
to be), they accepted this explanation, and tried to forgive me
in their hearts. The truth, of course, was that it was the
Commandant who had lost his head. He had confined his
attention and his questions entirely to me. Hill was not
asked anything. It was essential that the Commandant
should have some ostensible reason for "jugging" us both
together, and on the spur of the moment I had supplied his
ommission in the best way I could-by dragging in Hill's name
and implicating him with myself.
CHAPTER XI
IN WHICH WE ARE PUT ON PAROLE BY OUR COLONEL, AND GO
TO PRISON
THE news of our impending imprisonment and its cause
roused the camp out of its usual lethargy, and provided
us with interesting sidelights into the character of our fellow-
prisoners. That our more intimate friends should press
forward with offers of help did not surprise us. It was what
might be expected of them. Nor were we astonished when
true believers, like Mundey, stated their readiness in the
interests of science to incur any risk to get us out of our
predicament or to send news of it home. It was still more
delightful to find men on whom we had no manner of claim
putting at our disposal money, food, clothing, anything and
everything they had, and begging us to indicate any way in
which they could be of assistance. Nothing could have been
kinder or more unselfish than the attitude of these men, and
our pleasantest memory of Yozgad is of the way in which they
stood by us in our apparent distress. To us the most charming
instance was " Old 'Erb," who first obeyed the dictates of his
kind heart and positively forced on us the loan of a large sum
of money (he wanted to make it a gift), and then, like the
sportsman he was, had the moral courage to take me aside,
lecture me roundly on losing my head and giving Hill away,
and advised me (if not for my own sake, then for that of
my co-accused), " to curb my tongue and my pride, and
knuckle under to the Turk." I knew that in his heart he
thought my conduct towards Hill despicable, and yet he
helped us.
But our experiences were not all as pleasant. Hardship
and prison life bring out the worst as well as the best that is
in a man. Many of us had grown selfish to a degree that can
be imagined only by one who has gone through a long period
of privation and discomfort in the enforced company of his
fellow-men. To hide the fact would be to give a wholly false
impression of the moral atmosphere of our camp, which was
probably no better and no worse than others in Turkey. We
had amongst us some who concentrated first, last, and always
on their own comfort. "Hell!" said one such gentleman, on
learning that we had been sentenced to an indefinite term of
solitary confinement, " we'll get no more parcels." And he
cursed all spiritualists from Oliver Lodge downwards.
Indeed on the whole, we got from our fellows as many
kicks as ha'pence.
On the morning after the trial I was up betimes, packing
in preparation for our imprisonment, and impatiently awaiting
Hill's report. I hoped to hear that he had successfully
withdrawn his parole not to escape. For this had been the
object of the 24 hours' grace, which, like everything else
that had happened at the "little show," had been granted
under instructions from the Spook. We had, of course, seen
to it that the Commandant ascribed an entirely erroneous
motive to the Spook's orders. He thought the object of the
order was to impress the camp with the belief that he was
giving every possible chance. We knew better. The threat
of imprisonment away from the camp should prove an adequate
excuse for Hill to withdraw his parole.
Hill arrived about eleven o'clock.
"Have you been on the mat yet ? " he asked.
I told him I had not, beyond being abused by some of my
pals as a nuisance.
" Well, I have!" said Hill. " I've just been had up before
Colonel Maule and Colonel Herbert."
" Did you get quit of your parole ? " I asked.
Hill pulled a long face and then burst out laughing. " Far
from it," he said ; " I never had a chance of mentioning it.
The Colonel's got the windup. He thinks the camp is in for
a strafing. He told me I was always running the risk of
getting the rest of them into trouble. This was the third
time, he said, I had played the ass, and he gave me a proper
dressing-down for getting you into a bad hole with what he
called my hanky-panky tricks. I said I couldn't see anything
hanky-panky in thought-reading. Then he asked me to give
my parole not to communicate with anyone outside by
telepathy."
" Did you give it ? " I asked.
" Lord, yes ! What's the odds ! " Hill was shaking with
laughter. " Only I explained what a hard job it is to control
thought-waves, so he said he would be satisfied with a promise
not to send them out wilfully. I gave that ! "
Instead of getting rid of his old parole Hill had gone and
got himself involved in a new one! The situation was growing
absurd. As soon as we could master our merriment-a task
of no small difficulty-we went together to the gallant Colonel
and asked for an interview. He led the way into his own
bed room.
"Hill tells me," I said with great solemnity, " that you
blame him for getting me into trouble over this telepathy
business. I want to explain to you that I started my experiments
long before I had anything to do with Hill. He is in
no way to blame."
" I am delighted to hear it," he answered.
" On April 22nd," I explained, " I wrote to a friend in
England, who is interested in spiritualism and telepathy,
suggesting that on the first evening of each month we should
hold simultaneous seances in England and in Yozgad to try
and get into communication. As you may know, we here
have held these seances on the first of each month, and have
endeavoured to send and receive messages. It was not until
these experiments had been in progress for nine months that
Hill and I came together as spiritualists."
" I see," said the Colonel ; " but since you admit you
began it, why won't you end it ? Why can't you settle the
matter in the way the Commandant has suggested, and give
the Turks your parole not to send or receive any more thought-
messages ? "
I was prepared for the question, and produced three
letters from my correspondent in England, each of which
quoted messages concerning myself received through mediums
in England. " Those are not amongst any of the messages I
consciously sent," I explained, " but I distinctly remember
thinking about at least one of the subjects he mentions. This
shows that your ordinary thoughts are liable to be picked up.
Now, supposing I give the Commandant my parole, and then
this correspondent of mine or some other experimenter picks
up a casual thought from me and writes me a letter about it ?
The Turks censor our letters and would see it. Nothing could
convince them I have not broken my word."
At my request the Colonel glanced through the letters.
" But these have been censored," he said in surprise, pointing
to the Turkish censor's mark.
" Quite so," I replied, " and I would like you to take
charge of them for me. If Constantinople court-martials
me for spiritualism, I shall ask you to produce these as
proof that our experiments were carried on without concealment."
" Certainly," said the Colonel, as he locked away the
letters in a box. " Now I understand why you can't give your
promise to the Turk. But I want you to give it to me. Will.
you promise not to attempt communication with anyone in
the town by conscious telepathy or any other means ? "
"I never have attempted to do so by other means," I
said.
The Colonel's face grew very stern. " I beg your pardon,"
he said severely. " I am informed that the Commandant
holds an intercepted letter."
I nodded.
" It implicates you ? "
" Yes, both me and Hill."
" It refers, does it not, to previous correspondence ? "
" It does," I replied.
"If you have had no communication with outside, will
you be good enough to explain how you began this correspondence ? "
The Colonel was now in his element. He was treating me
like a defaulter in the orderly room.
"By telepathy," said I.
" Yes, sir," said Hill, in answer to a glance of enquiry.
" Our only communication with outside has been by
telepathy."
The good Colonel was puzzled and distressed. He sat
silent for a time, frowning a little.
" Look here," he said at last. "You told the Commandant
you have given your parole not to reveal the name
of your communicator."
" I did."
The Colonel leant forward, a hand on each knee, and
looked hard into my eyes. " You now say "-he spoke with
emphatic slowness-" you now assert you have had no outside
communications. To whom did you give that parole ? "
" To the Spook," said I, grinning.
The Colonel jumped to his feet, and strode across to the
little window. He stood there for a space, looking into the
garden. Every now and then he passed his hand over his
brow. At last he turned round and faced us.
"I give it up ! " he said.
Hill and I smiled-we could not help it.
"I give it up," the Colonel repeated, with great sternness.
I spoke with all the gravity I could muster.
" Sir," I said, " I give you my word that since I came to
Yozgad I have had no communication by speech or writing
direct or indirect with anyone in Turkey outside the camp,
except the Turkish officials. Nor have I ever attempted
any communication with the inhabitants by any other means
than telepathy."
" That is good enough for me," said the Colonel brightly.
" Now to avoid getting the camp into trouble, will you agree
while you remain in this camp not to attempt conscious
telepathy or other communication with any outsiders ? I
don't mean any ordinary open conversation-you know
what I mean, don't you ? "
" Yes," said I, and gave the promise he wanted. Then I
glanced across at Hill. The Colonel was looking pleased and
the time seemed propitious.
" Sir," said Hill, " I want to take back the parole I gave
to your predecessor-not to escape."
The Colonel frowned again. " Why ? " said he.
" Because Jones and I are going to be separately confined
from the rest of the camp. I want to be free to escape if I
want to."
" Hum! " said the Colonel.
" I am the only man in camp who is on parole to you,"
pleaded Hill.
" Hum!" said the Colonel again.
" We may be sent to the common jail," said Hill.
The Colonel rubbed his chin. " You are aware that if
anyone escapes the rest of the camp will be punished ? You
have seen the Commandant's order on the subject, have you
not ? "
" Yes," said Hill; " but from this afternoon we are to be
in separate confinement. We won't form part of the camp."
" Well," said the Colonel, " if you are put in the common
jail, you may escape if you can. But if you are confined in
one of these houses round here, I shall consider you are still
in the camp."
" But supposing we are moved from Yozgad ? " Hill
protested.
" I can't have you risking the comfort of a hundred other
officers," he replied. "You should think of the others. But
in view of a possible move, I shall modify your parole to apply
to Yozgad and a five-mile radius round it, excluding the
jail, if you like."
Hill glanced across at me. On the principle that half a
loaf is better than no bread, I nodded.
" Thank you, sir,"
We turned to go.
" What about you, Jones ? " said the Colonel suddenly.
"Have you any intention of running away ? "
I looked as surprised as I could. " Good Lord, sir ! " I
said. " Do you think I'm such a fool as to think of it with a
groggy knee like mine ? "
The Colonel laughed. " There's no saying with you
fellows," said he ; " but that's all right now."
Hill and I walked up the garden together.
"'That five-mile circle is pretty beastly," he grumbled.
" There's always the jail," I said. " The Spook can push
you in there if necessary later on."
" That's so ! " Hill brightened up. " He nearly pinched
you for parole too ! I thought you were in for it ! "
" So did I," I laughed, " but I wriggled out of it."
I was quite wrong. Half an hour later the Colonel came
to my room. He handed me a document.
" This is a summary of the results of our interview," he
said. " Read it and tell me if it is correct."
I read it, and found he had put me on parole with Hill for
the double event-not to telepathize with the good folk of
Yozgad, and not to escape from the five-mile circle.
I might as well be in the same boat as Hill after all. " It's
all right," I said.
" Of course," he said, " if you insist on it at any time, I
am bound to give you back your parole."
This was very fair of the Colonel. But his refusal of the
morning was still too fresh, and I remembered how another
senior officer had treated Hill's first attempt to recover his
parole which he had made some months before. (He had
threatened to inform the Turks !) The Commandant's
allegiance to the Spook was as yet too shaky to let us take
any risks, however slight. We could take back our parole, if
necessary, in our own good time.
" Thank you, sir," I said ; " I shall remember that. But
we have no intention of getting the camp into trouble."
" Hum! " said the Colonel, and left me. And that was
the last I saw of him in captivity.
I had ore more visitor of importance that morning. Doc.
brought me his report of the trial, which has been quoted
above. I thanked him for letting me read it.
" Is that correct ? " he asked.
" It is what happened," said I.
" Do you know," he said, " I couldn't sleep last night.
Lay awake for hours and hours after writing that. I was
thinkin'. . ."
" That's bad," I sympathized. " Did it hurt much ? "
He took me by the shoulders, turned my face to the light
and stood looking at me quizzingly for some time. His eyes
were dancing with mischief.
" Tell me," he said at last. " Honest now! Are you by
any chance an Irishman in disguise ? "
" No," I laughed, " I am not."
" Any Irish blood in ye ? "
" Not a drop, Doc. dear."
He ruffled his hair, plunged his hands deep in his pockets,
and began walking up and down with a short quick step.
" Then I can't understand it," he cried. " If you were
an Irishman I'd know where I was, but you say you're
not."
" Is it my nose that's botherin' you, Doc. dear ? " I chaffed.
" It is not your nose," he said emphatically, " an' well you
know it ! It's this preposterous trial. If you were an Irishman,
I'd know you'd planned the whole thing for a bit of
devilment."
" Mercy me ! " I exclaimed. " What makes you say
that ? "
" I'll tell you," he said, pushing me into a chair. " Sit
down there where I can watch your face, an' I'll tell you.
How long have I known you, Bones ? "
" Nearly two years," I said.
" An' how well do I know you ? "
" Don't know," I replied. " You tell me."
" I will. I know you as well as this ! I'll eat my boots if
you are a souper."
" Souper ? "
" If you were an Irishman, you'd know what that means.
It's a fellow who changes his religion to keep his lands."
" But I haven't changed my religion, Doc."
" No," said he, " but you've done as bad. Yesterday at
the trial you gave away your pal."
" Don't rake all that up again," I expostulated. " I lost
my head. I got excited, and I explained it all to you yesterday."
"Ay," the Doc. teased, " and it was that same explanation
that kept me awake last night. You're a queer sort of man
to lose your head at a trial, you that's been a magistrate in
Burma since Heaven knows when."
" It was so sudden, Doc."
" Maybe. But if you cut your finger now, and suddenly
asked me to bandage it, d'you think I'd lose my head ? Why,
it's my work! Sudden or slow, it's all the same to me.
And sudden or slow, your work's all the same to you. You
didn't lose your head ! "
" Then I must be a souper," I sighed.
" You're not," he said. " I know you better."
I sat silent.
" Besides," he went on, " Hill and you were hobnobbing
together this morning. I saw you-laughing fit to burst, an'
as thick as thieves."
" Perhaps he has forgiven me," I suggested.
" No use, Bones ! No use at all. As certain as I'm
sitting here you two are up to something together. Now
what is it ? "
I did not answer.
" Bones," he pleaded, " if this is a joke an' you leave me
out in the cold, I'll never forgive you. I'll-I'll die of grief
an' come back to manifest on ye when I'm dead. What were
ye laughing about like that, you and Hill ? When I see two
fellows in your position as happy as larks, I want to share !
Why-you're laughing now ! It's a ramp, I'm sure it's
a ramp ! For pity's sake let me in! I'll keep it as dark,
us Erebus ! Let me help you. Is there anything I can
do?"
" I daresay there is, Doc., but you might burn your
fingers."
" Blow my fingers ! " he said. " You must tell me now!
If you don't I'll-I'll go straight to Maule and tell him my
suspicions."
" You souper! " said I. " Just to keep you from harming
us with your confounded theories, I'll have to tell you
as much as is good for you. You remember the revolver
stunt ? "
He nodded.
" This is an extension of it. We are looking for a buried
treasure for the Turks. We wanted to get moved away from
the rest of the camp so as to have peace to carry out our plans
and do the thing in style. The trial was just a ramp to get us
moved. It was all rehearsed beforehand."
" Gosh ! " Doc. cried, " so the Pimple is in the know with
you ? "
" And the Commandant," I said.
" What ? " Doc. shouted.
" And the Commandant," I repeated.
"He was playing a part, too."
Doc. jumped to his feet, stared at me a moment, and
then a broad grin spread over his face, and he broke into the
first steps of an Irish jig, cavorting his delight in a sort of
speechless ecstasy.
He stopped, suddenly grave. " Was I the only one who
made a fool of myself ? " he asked anxiously. " What about
the other witnesses, Winnie and Gilchrist and Peel ? Were
they in the know ? "
Not a bit," I said. " You four were the audience, all
in the outer darkness together, and you did very well indeed,
thank you ! "
" But we gave you away!
"
"You were intended to do that," I said.
The Doc. began to laugh again. " Oh, Bones," he gasped,
" what benighted fools we've been ! Now, if you love me,
tell me all about it."
" No time for that, Doc.," I said, " but read this and you'll
know as much as the Turks." I handed him the record of our
seances with the Pimple, and went on with my packing.
When he had finished reading, he came over and sat down
beside me.
" Bones," he said, " I'm hanged if I see what you are
driving at yet. But it's the ramp of the century.
any mortal thing I can do to help you ? "
"There is, Doc.! You've been in the Commandant's
private house. Describe it to me, carefully."
He did so. " Anything else ? " he asked.
I shook my head.
" Look here, Bones." The little man had grown suddenly
solemn. " I know the Commandant; I've treated him as a
doctor, and I know him. He's dangerous-a bad man. And
as for the Cook, he's a limb of Satan ! He'll poison or shoot
you as soon as look at you. I don't want to spoil a joke, but
you're running a risk-a hell of a risk. You've compromised
them with their own War Office, and if they find out you
are bluffing them about this treasure, don't blame me if it's
good-bye."
" That reminds me," I said ; " there is one other thing I
want you to do for us. If we send out of prison to ask for
medicine, don't give it; insist on coming to see us." He
nodded. " And don't you worry, Doc. ! We're coming
through all right, and it'll be a top-hole ramp, anyway."
"How far is it going to lead you ? " he asked.
" Sufficient unto the day!" I said. " We don't know."
Doc. burst out laughing and smacked me hard between the
shoulders.
" Bones, ye vagabond," he cried, " I believe you are an
Irishman after all ! "
At 3 p.m. our twenty-four hours of grace expired. Once
more we went to the Commandant's office-Hill and I and the
four witnesses. The last act of the little comedy was played.
The Commandant began with a graphic picture of the horrors
of a Turkish prison and the monotony of a bread-and-water
diet. It was excellently done, and calculated to give the most
phlegmatic of Britishers cold shudders down the spine. Then
he told us how much he loved us prisoners, and would we spare
him the pain of putting us in jail by giving up the name he
wanted ? Hill and I were models of firmness in our refusal.
Kiazim Bey, with a gesture of hopelessness, indicated he could
do no more for us. Then came the sentence. The common
jail for the present would remain in abeyance, but until we
saw fit to confess we would be confined in a back room of the
" Colonels' House "-a large empty building opposite the
office. We would be allowed no communication whatever
with other prisoners, and no orderly, but we might have our
clothes and bedding. We would not be permitted to write or
receive any letters. To begin with, our food could be sent in
by the nearest prisoners' house. If we remained obdurate,
we would later sample a bread-and-water diet. No walks and
no privileges of any kind, and the threat of a further court-
martial and a severer sentence by Constantinople over our
heads!
Then something happened which neither Hill nor I had
foreseen, and which completely took our breath away. Major
Gilchrist in his position as adjutant of the camp made an
exceedingly polite and grateful speech. No doubt he thought
he was being very diplomatic, for on behalf of the camp he
thanked the Commandant for the courtesy and fairness with
which he had conducted the trial and for the leniency of the
sentence!
After this " vote of thanks," our four witnesses left the
office. They were good fellows, those four. They busied
themselves getting up our kit to our new quarters, and seeing
the room swept out and all made comfortable for us. While
they were doing so, Hill and I and the Commandant and the
Pimple were having a noble time together, recalling the
various incidents in the trial and congratulating each other
on our successful performances. The Commandant thought
it all the best joke of his life, and he made us repeat several
times Gilchrist's paean of praise, rocking in his chair with
laughter.
At last there was a trampling in the hall below. The
Chaoush had amassed a guard sufficiently strong to escort us
two desperadoes across the street, and was waiting, so the
Commandant shook hands with us in turn.
" Remember, my friends," he said, " you have but to ask
for anything you want, and you will get it."
Then we were marched across to our new prison, the first
men in history, so far as we knew, to be sentenced for thought-reading.
CHAPTER XII
OF COMRADES WE HAD LEFT BEHIND AND HOW POSH
CASTLE PLAYED THE RAVEN
OUR new prison was one of the best built houses in
Yozgad, empty of all furniture, it is true (except the
chair and table we had each brought with us), but large, airy,
and cornparatively clean. From the front windows we had
a view of the Commandant's office and the main street.
From the side we looked into "Posh Castle," where now
lived our friends Doc., Price and Matthews ; and at the back
there was a tiny cobbled yard, with high walls round it, and
a large stone horse-trough, which we promptly converted into
that real luxury-a full-length bath. To the south-east we
had a wide view of the distant pine-woods, and nearer at
hand a certain grey rock projected through the snow on the
slope of South hill. Under its shadow lay the first clue to
the treasure.
Indoors, if we wished it, we could each have a bedroom, a
dining-room and a study, and still leave a spare suite for the
chance guest. Furniture ? Simple enough! Move your
chair and table to wherever you want to sit, and there you
are! When we arrived some of our friends were waiting to
see the last of us. Our escort hustled them out. The door
slammed, the key grated in the lock, and a sentry took up his
stand outside. Our separation from the camp was complete,
and our solitary confinement had begun.
It was natural that Hill and I should be elated at the
success of our plan. The simultaneous hoodwinking of friend
and foe had for us an amusing side. But mingled with our
elation and our amusement was a feeling which no loyalty to
our friends in the camp could suppress. For we rejoiced,
above all, in our loneliness, in our freedom from interruption,
in the fact that we were quit of the others. I make the
confession knowing that any fellow-prisoner who chances on
this story will understand and sympathize. The longing for
a little solitude was shared by us all.
It must not be imagined that the prison walls of Yozgad
enclosed a company of particularly obnoxious irreconcilables,
or that we were a shiftless crew who gave in to the discomforts
of their situation. Far from it. A more companionable set
of men never existed, and during our stay in Yozgad we
overcame every difficulty but one. For instance : to begin with,
there was an entire absence of furniture. Yozgad was no
Donnington Hall, and the Turks provided nothing but a roof
to our heads, and a bare floor-sometimes of stone-for us to
lie on. The camp purchased empty grocery boxes, acquired a
saw, a hammer, a plane, and nails, and some of our prisoners
evolved designs in chairs and tables and beds which would
have done credit to Maple's. Our food, both in quality and
price, was appalling ; we learned to cook, and before we left
Yozgad there were Messes which could turn out on occasion
a five-course dinner that left nothing to be desired. We
had no games. Busy penknives soon remedied the deficiency ;
chessmen, draughts, roulette-wheels, toboggans,
looges, skis, hockey-sticks, and hockey-balls were turned out
to meet the demand. There was no end to the ingenuity of
individuals in supplying their wants or adding to their few
comforts. We had cobblers of every grade, from an artist
like Colonel Maule, who made himself a pair of rope-soled
shoes, to " Tony," whose only boots, owing to their patches,
were of different size and vastly different design-indeed, it
required a stretch of the imagination to realize they had once
been a pair. We had knitters who could unravel a superfluous
" woolly " and convert it into excellent socks, heels and all.
We had tailors whose efforts (being circumscribed by the
paucity of cloth) would have brought tears of delight to the
eyes of Joseph. In every house there was an embryo Harrod
who kept a " store " containing everything, " from a needle
to an anchor," that the Turks would allow him to buy, and an
accountant who evolved a system of book-keeping and book-
transfer of debts which enabled those under a temporary
financial cloud (a thing to which we were all subject, thanks
to the irregularity of the Ottoman post) to continue making
necessary purchases until the next cheque arrived.
These were all material difficulties, and easily adjusted.
The chief problem was how to pass the time. It was tackled
in a similar spirit and with nearly equal success. We had
four-a-side hockey tournaments and (when the Turks
allowed) walks, picnics, toboganning, and ski-ing. There
was one glorious point-to-point ski race over the snow-clad
hills with flag-wagging signallers along the course,
bookmakers and a selling sweep, and to cap it all a magnificent
close finish. That was a red-letter day. Later on there was
to be a Hunt Club, with long dogs and foxes and hares complete.
For indoor amusement we wrote dramas, gay and serious
melodramas, farces and pantomimes. We had scene-painters
whose art took us back to England (we could sit all day
looking at the " village-green " scene). We had an orchestra
of prison-made instruments, a prison-trained male-voice
choir and musicians to write the music for them. Artists,
song-writers, lecturers, poets, historians, novelists, actors,
dramatists, musicians and critics-especially critics-all
these we evolved in the effort to keep our minds from rusting.
Indeed, we went beyond mere amusement in the effort: we
went to school again! When at last books began to arrive
from England a library was formed, and classes were held
in Mathematics, Physics, Political Economy, French, German,
Spanish, Hindustani, Electricity, Engineering, Machine
Drawing, Agriculture and Sketching. We became a minor
university, with Professors who made up in enthusiasm what
they lacked in experience. Memories of their own youth
made some of them set " home work," and it was no uncommon
thing to run across a doughty warrior, most unacademically
dressed in ragged khaki, seeking in vain for some quiet
corner of the garden where he might wrestle uninterrupted
with the latest vagaries of x, or convert into graceful Urdu a
sonorous passage from the Decline and Fall of the Roman
Empire.
Nor did we await the tardy arrival of books to commence
Our education. Barely had we settled down in Yozgad when
some genius realized that the hundred officers and men whom
the Turk had collected haphazard within our prison walls
possessed amongst them a rich and varied experience. Our
genius had a persuasive tongue. He organized lectures. Once
a week, after dinner, we of the Upper House gathered in the
only place that would hold us all together-the landing. It
was unfurnished, dark, and draughty. Each man brought his
own chair, each room provided a candle or a home-made
lamp. Wrapped in blankets, rugs, bedquilts, sheepskins,
anything we possessed to keep out the cold, and packed
together like sardines, we settled down to what in those days
was the one entrancing hour in the dull week. And what
lectures those were ! With men who had done or helped to
do these things we entered the Forbidden City and shared
in the taking of Pekin, combated sleeping-sickness in Central
Africa, tea-planted in Ceylon, cow-punched in America, chased
criminals in Burma, joined in the Jameson Raid, fruit-farmed
in Kent, organized an army for an Indian Princeling, defended
a great Channel Port, fought in a Frontier War, went
geologizing in the Sudan, and trained the Rangoon river. We
controlled in turn a Royal Mint, a great jute mill, a battery of
Field Artillery, a colour-photography studio, a submarine, a
police-court in England, a wireless telegraphy station, a pork factory,
a torpedo-boat, and a bee-farm.
The list is not exhaustive, but it may serve its turn. Such
were the men with whom we had spent nearly two years of
our lives. In a month of marching you could not fall in
with company more varied, more interesting, or more charming.
Yet, because amongst the many difficulties that had
been overcome one remained unsolved, Hill add I were glad
to get away. Nothing in captivity is so distressing, so
discomforting, so impossible to allay as overcrowding, and the
unhappy consequences it brings in its train. It is a cancer
that eats into the heart of every unnatural form of society.
Time is its ally, and slowly but surely it wears down all
opposition. In Yozgad we did not quarrel-we got along
without that-and we tried not to complain. But every now
and then a man would seek relief. As unostentatiously as
might be he would change his mess, and though nothing was
said, we all knew why. He knew, and we knew, that he was
not getting rid of the bonds that were so irksome. He was
merely seeking to exchange the old for the new pattern of
handcuff, in the hope that it would not gall him in the same
raw spot, and we could sympathize with him. Your neighbour
may be the most excellent of good fellows, but if he is jogging
your elbow for every hour of the twenty-four you will begin to
look askance at him. Little idiosyncrasies that would pass
unmarked in ordinary life assume the magnitude of positive
faults. Faults grow into unendurable sins. The fine qualities
of the man-his endurance, his courage, his cheerfulness, his
generosity-are lost to sight under the cloud of minor
peculiarities that close acquaintance brings into view. Indeed,
in time, his very virtues may be counted unto him as vices.
His stoicism becomes a " pose," his cheerfulness is " tom-foolery,"
his generosity " softness," his courage " rashness "!
We knew the worth of the men beside us, but we were being
forced to examine them under the microscope. So we were
in constant danger of taking the part for the whole, and of
losing all sense of proportion. Z was a glorious leader of
men : we forgot it-because he snored in his sleep! Distance
lends enchantment, because it puts things into their true
proportions. To realize the grandeur of a mountain the
climber must stand back from it, at least once in a while.
And so it is with character.
I do not know if others-leaders of Arctic Expeditions, for
instance-are wont to succeed much better than we did in
solving the problems of maintaining feelings of mutual respect
amongst their company. Certain it is they have a great
advantage over us, because, for them, the close companionship
is voluntary, and (what is more important) necessary to the
attainment of a common object. For us, it was compulsory,
and the common object that palliates it was entirely wanting.
But we did our best. Outwardly we succeeded; there was
no public break in the harmony of our camp. Yet in our
Hearts every one of us knew that he had failed, and that our
only achievement had been to fail in a very gentlemanly way.
Our new-found solitude came to Hill and myself in a good
hour, while the friendships we had formed in the camp were
green and the canker-worm of super-intimacy still in its
infancy. For we had left behind many friends and, as far as
we knew, no enemies. In front of us stretched a prospect of
an indefinite period of unrelieved companionship with one
another. What dangers to our mutual friendship this involved we knew too well.
But we had that on our side which would have relieved
the camp of its most serious trouble-a
common aim. We no longer merely existed. We were
partners in a great enterprise. There was something definite
for which to work, something which would compensate us
for every hardship-our hope of freedom.
Absurd as it may seem, Hill and I felt not only happier,
but actually freer in our new prison than we had done in the
camp. On the face of things there was no excuse for this
feeling, for outwardly we were more closely confined than ever.
In order to give a fitting air of verisimilitude to his proceedings,
Kiazim Bey had issued the strictest orders to our sentries.
Indeed, he went rather out of his way to describe us as a pair
of desperate characters, and so upset the nerves of our old
" gamekeepers " that for the first few days of our confinement
they marched up and down outside our house, instead of
snoozing in their sentry-boxes as they had been accustomed
to do. The genial, wizened little Corporal, Ahmed Onbashi,
whose duty it was to verify the presence of all prisoners night
and morning, lost all the bonhomie which had made him a
favourite, and for at least a week we saw no more of him than
a wrinkled nose and a single anxious eye peering at us round
the gently opened door of our room. But as the days passed
by and we showed no signs of hostility, he gradually regained
his old confidence. His escort dropped from two veterans
with rifles at the " ready " to the accustomed one with no rifle
at all. At last he came one night boldly into the room, and
catching sight of our spook-board propped against the wall,
he pointed a grimy finger at it, shook his head at us, and
uttered one of the very few Turkish phrases that was understood
of all the camp-" Yessack ! Chok fena ! " (Forbidden !
Very bad !) From which we learned that the cause of our
downfall was known to our humble custodian.
The stricter surveillance did not in the least affect our
happiness for it had been suggested by the Spook, and our
present circumstances were of our own choosing. We knew
that, within certain limits, we could lighten or tighten our
bonds as we pleased, for we had gained some control over the
forces that controlled us. We were no longer utterly and
entirely under the orders of the un-get-at-able Turk. We had
the Spook as an ally, and the Spook could make the Commandant sit up.
There was another reason, deeper and more permanent,
for this curious, instinctive sense of increased liberty which
came to us, and expressed itself in the enthusiastic enjoyment
with which we submitted to a more stringent form of imprisonment.
At the time we could not have put the reason
into words, but it was there all the same, and it was this : so
far as we ourselves were concerned, we were well on the way
to correct the one serious mistake which the camp as a whole
had committed. It was the mistake that lies at the core of
all tragedies. We in Yozgad had put the lesser before the
greater good, our duty to ourselves, as prisoners, before our
duty to ourselves, as men, and to our country. For reasons
that have been stated it was considered wrong to attempt to
escape. The general feeling was that there was no choice but
to wait for peace with such patience as we could muster. We
all knew the value of what we had lost when we surrendered
to the Turk. But not one of us realized clearly that since our
capture we had surrendered something infinitely more precious
than physical freedom. It was not the supremacy of the
Turk but our own recognition of it and our resignation to
captivity that made us moral as well as physical prisoners.
We did not see that in giving up trying to free ourselves we
were giving up our one hope of happiness until peace came.
So that in spite of the outward cheerfulness, the brave attempts
at industry, and the gallant struggle against the deterioration
that a prison environment brings, an atmosphere of hopelessness
pervaded the whole camp. At heart, we were all unhappy,
for we had created for ourselves an "Inevitable." The
camp had built a prison within a prison, and he who wished
to run had to defeat the vigilance of his own comrades before
he could tackle the Turk. It is perhaps too much to say that
it is a man's duty to escape, but certainly it is not his duty to
bar the way to escape either for himself or for anyone else.
Had every prisoner in Yozgad bent his energies to achieve
freedom not only for himself but for his fellows, things would
have been very different in the camp. Strafed the camp
might have been, but it would have been in its duty, happy
in discomfort instead of miserable in comparative ease, and
welded into unity by a common aim. Prisoners most of us
would have remained, but not beaten captives ; the victims
of misfortune, but not its slaves.
In getting away from the camp Hill and I had gained a new
and more cheerful outlook. But we did not realize that we
had already broken down the walls of our moral prison.
There was no time to analyse the causes of our happiness.
We were obsessed with the immediate situation, and especially
with the necessity of getting the proof of Kiazim Bey's
complicity which would make the camp safe. Kiazim was
not an easy man to trap : up to date there was nothing he
could not explain by a theory of collusion between his
subordinates and ourselves. He was perfectly capable of sacrificing
the Pimple in order to save his own skin. He could range
himself alongside Gilchrist and the other witnesses, and pose
as the victim of a plot in which he had had no share. When
alone with us he was as frank and open as a man could be.
But we had no proof of his share in the plot. With typical
Oriental cunning he kept himself well in the background .
There was no hope of getting him to commit himself in the
presence of others ; yet, by hook or by crook, we must produce
independent evidence that he was implicated in the treasure-hunt.
Weeks ago we had conceived the idea of snapshotting
Kiazim Bey, his satellites and ourselves, digging for the hidden
gold. Cameras are a luxury forbidden to prisoners of war,
but Hill had made one out of a chocolate box and half a lens;
to fit films which a fellow-prisoner possessed.
The drawback to the camera was its bulk-it measured about twelve inches
each way-which rendered concealment difficult. He had
had serious thoughts of making the attempt with this as a last
resort, but found a better way. On our first night in the
Colonel's House Hill put into my hands a Vest-Pocket Kodak,
belonging to Wright, which somehow or another had escaped
notice at the time of the latter's capture. Films to fit it had
arrived in a parcel, and Hill had palmed them under the nose
of the Turkish censor while " helping " him to unpack.
He explained to me that as the films were his own, and the
camera without films was only a danger to Wright, he had
" borrowed " it for our purposes without asking permission.
It contained three films still unexposed-which would prove
three ropes for the neck of Kiazim Bey, or for that of the
photographer, according as the Goddess of Fortune smiled on
Briton or Turk.
It is not easy to take a group photograph at seven paces
(the limit, we reckoned, for recognition of the figures) without
somebody noticing what is being done. Discovery would be
dangerous, for we were now very much in the Commandant's
power. It was no new idea to the Turkish mind, as we knew
from the Pimple, to get rid of a man by shooting him on the
plea that he was attempting escape; and in our case the
camp was more than likely to believe the excuse. Besides,
there are many other Oriental ways of doing away with
undesirables, and if Kiazim Bey caught us trying to trap him
he would regard us as extremely undesirable. Now that
we were actually up against the situation it looked much
less amusing than it had done from the security of the
camp.
" It's neck or nothing," I grumbled. " If we're spotted
everything goes smash, and we'll probably he in for it. I'm
hanged if those fellows in the camp who cussed us for nuisances
are worth the risk."
We were still pondering gloomy possibilities when heavy
footsteps sounded on our stairs, and paused on the landing
outside.
" Htebsi-gituriorum-effendiler-htebsi-i-i."
Hill and I looked at each other. The noise was like
nothing on earth.
" Htebsi-giturioruna-htebsi-i-i-i," again.
" Somebody sneezing, I think," said Hill, and opened the
door.
It was the Commandant's second orderly. We never knew
his name, so because he was in rags, and looked starved, and
had the biggest feet in Asia, we called him " Cinderella " for
short.
In his hands was an enormous blue tray, piled with enamel
dishes, from which came a most appetizing odour of baked
meats. Cinderella advanced cautiously into the room. He
was obviously afraid of us two criminals, but he was much
more nervous about the tray. He wore the look I have seen
on the face of a bachelor holding a baby, and seemed to
expect everything to come to pieces in his great hands. Very
gingerly he sidled round the table, keeping it between him and
ourselves, and placed the tray upon it.
" Htebsi! " he said again with a sigh of relief, and pointing
to the tray he left us.
" He was not sneezing after all, Bones. 'Htebsi' must
mean grub or something. Let's see." Hill began to uncover
the dishes, I helping him.
" Soup!" said he.
" Meat-roast mutton ! " said I, lifting a second cover.
" Potatoes-by Jove ! "
" Nettle-top spinach !"
" Chocolate pudding ! ! ! " Hill cried.
I peered into the only remaining dish-a small jug.
" Coffee!" I gasped, and collapsed into a chair.
Compared with our customary dinner it was a feast for the gods.
It came, as we knew, from " Posh Castle," for under the
Spook's instructions the Commandant had requested that
mess to send us food. It was the nearest prisoners' house and
therefore, we thought, it was the natural thing for the Commandant to do.
Of course, we had no manner of claim on
" Posh Castle," but as we were putting ourselves to a certain
amount of trouble for the sake of the camp, we had considered
it right and proper they should do our cooking for us for a
day or two. But we had not reckoned on their killing the
fatted calf in this way, and our consciences pricked us.
" This," said Hill in a very contrite voice, " this is the work
of old Price-"
" Who believes in the Spook," I groaned. " I've been
stuffing him with lies for a year."
" Oh, what a pair of swine we are," we said together.
I took the camera from under the mattress where I had
hidden it when Cinderella appeared, and gave it back to Hill.
" I think Hill, that risk or no risk-"
" Of course! " he snapped at me. " It's got to be done
now! And if it comes off, Posh Castle gets the photos.
Have some soup ? "
It was a merry dinner, and the coffee at the end was nectar.
" Now," said Hill, by way of grace after meat, " let us
begin to minimize that risk. Watch me!"
For fifteen minutes I stood over him, my eyes on his clever
hands, watching for a glimpse of the camera as over and over again
he took it out, opened it, sighted it, closed it, and
returned it to his pocket.
I rarely saw it until it was ready in
position, and then only the lens peeped through his fingers,
but when I did I told him. It was the first of a series of daily
practices.
" Once I know the feel of it I'll do better," he said at the
end ; " I should be pretty good in about three weeks."
" You're pretty good now, but where does my part come
in?"
" You'll have to talk like a blooming machine-gun, to drown
the clickof the shutter, and-" Hill grinned and paused.
"Yes?"
" Well, if it is a dull day, it will be a time exposure, and
you'll have to pose the blighters, of course."
I retired to my corner to think it out.
CHAPTER XIII
IN WHICH THE PIMPLE LEARNS HIS FUTURE LIES IN EGYPT
WE started our sojourn in the Colonels' House with a
great many irons in the fire. As an essential
preliminary to our main plan we had the photograph to take,
and in case any of the hundred and one possible accidents
happened to the films, we must provide subsidiary evidence of
Kiazim's complicity.
The main plan was, of course, to escape
from Turkey. Our first aim was to persuade the Turks to
convey us east, south-east, or south (the exact direction and
distance would depend upon their convenience, but we hoped
for about 3oo miles) in the search for the treasure. Once
within reasonable distance of safety we could trust to our
legs. In case our persuasive powers proved inadequate for
this rather tough proposition, we must simultaneously develop
our second alternative. We must simulate some illness which
would warrant our exchange. We fixed, provisionally, on
madness. A third alternative, also requiring simultaneous
development, was compassionate release. If we could get
pressure from without brought to bear on the Turkish Government
they might, on the Fitzgerald precedent, compensate us
with freedom for our absurd imprisonment.
The first thing to do was to get news to England of our
trial and sentence. We calculated enquiries might be
expected at earliest about the middle of May. If, up to that
time, we had failed to get the Commandant to move us from
Yozgad, we were prepared to swear at the first breath of
investigation that his real reason in imprisoning us had been
to force us to use our mediumistic powers to find the treasure.
In proof, we would produce the photograph (if that was
successful), say he had put us on bread and water, and show
our " tortured " bodies. Indeed, we arranged to burn each
other, when the time came, with red-hot coins, so as to have
fresh scars to exhibit. It was a low-down plan, and we did
not want to resort to it, to its full extent, until the last, but
we were ready for it, if needs must and the others failed. It
depended, of course, on enquiries being instituted from
England.
In addition to the preparation of these three lines of
escape, we had to keep up the interest of the Turks in the
treasure, and to render absolute their belief in the powers of
the Spook. In the event of success in this we decided, until
we said good-bye to Yozgad, to assume the Commandant's
functions. We would, in the Spook's name, take charge of
the camp, increase its house-room, add to its liberties and
privileges, improve its relations with the Turks, prevent
parcel and money robbery, rid it of the Pimple, whom
everybody cordially hated, and (as an act of poetic justice for what
had been done to us) put its senior officer on parole!(All
this we did.) All the time we must be eternally on the watch
against making the slightest slip which would betray either
the fact that we ourselves were the Spook, or that we had any
ulterior motive in our spiritualism. Lastly, and most difficult
of all, we had to be ready at a moment's notice to checkmate
any well-meant attempt at interference by our comrades in
the camp.
An ambitious programme, perhaps, but not too ambitious.
After the telepathy trial, anything ought to be possible.
The 8th of March was a busy day for Hill. As the practical
man of the combine he had to manufacture a new spook-board
(the old one had to be left behind in the camp) and also a
semaphore apparatus, for we had arranged (should occasion
arise) to signal to Matthews, who lived across the way in
Posh Castle. While Hill worked I submitted for his criticism
various plans by which our aims might be attained. Next
lay the Pimple came in and sat chatting for a couple of hours.
He told us that after his effort at the trial the Commandant
had suffered from a bad go of nerves, and had lain awake all
night wondering what Constantinople would say, and what
Colonel Maule would write in his next sealed letter to headquarters.
Kiazim's one ambition in life now was to get out
of the treasure-hunt and send us mediums back to the camp.
But be could not risk his own prestige by doing so.
" Pah!" said the Pimple, " he is-what you call it ?-
tres poltron !
"
" I don't know German," said I.
"That is French," the Pimple explained gravely. " It
means what you call 'windy beggar'."
This sort of thing would never do ! We held a seance.
The Spook began at once to fan Kiazim's waning courage. It
pointed out that the task of the mediums was to get
thoroughly in tune one with another, but that this was quite
impossible so long as the Commandant created cross-currents
of thought-waves by worrying. The Commandant, the
Pimple, the Cook, and the two mediums-all, in fact, who were
concerned to find the treasure-must remain tranquil in mind
or success would be impossible. Let their trust in the Spook
be absolute, and all would be easy. Was not the Unseen
working for us night and day ? Whence came Gilchrist's
paean of praise for the verdict ? Surely the Commandant
recognized that it had been put into his mouth by the Spirit
to act as a bar to any further protest about the conviction ?
Thus had Gilchrist been firmly committed as a supporter of
the Commandant's view. And so with Colonel Maule. The
Spook was pained at the Commandant's fear of Maule : for
was not Maule's mind already under control ? Did Kiazim
imagine that the Spook was idle except at seances ? Why,
Maule's head had been carefully filled with ideas by the
Unseen Power : he was a plaything in the Spook's hands. It
had been an easy matter to put him in the same boat as
Kiazim, to get him to stop all " spooking " in the camp, to
make him place Hill and Jones on parole not to telepathize or
escape from Yozgad.
Here the Pimple interrupted the seance.
"Did you two give paroles to Colonel Maule ? " he
asked.
" Yes," I said, affecting surprise. " How on earth do you
know? Did Maule tell you ? "
" The glass has just written it," said Moise triumphantly;
" from the Spirit nothing is hidden." (Then to the Spook)
" Go on, sir."
The Spook went on. As a final, though quite unnecessary,
protection for the Commandant, it promised to control
the mediums (Hill and myself) to write letters to England in
praise of their new quarters. If the mediums did not complain
of their treatment nobody else could do so with any effect.
Let these letters be copied and sent through without delay
in the censoring, that they might counteract any chance
complaint from the camp which escaped the notice of the
Spook.
The seance achieved its end. The Commandant had not
previously realized that Gilchrist had been acting under the
Spook's influence, nor had he known about the parole. He
was therefore much pleased to find that the Spook was taking
so much trouble on his behalf, and had such powers of controlling people.
The letters, he thought, were an excellent
idea. We thought so too, and we wrote plenty of them.
Every letter was loud in its praises of the Turk, but the
eulogies cloaked a very pretty cipher which informed our
friends at home of our absurd conviction and asked for an
enquiry. And every letter went off by the first mail after it
had been written-a good fortnight ahead of those of the rest
of the camp which, as the Pimple confessed to us, were
regularly held back at Yozgad for local censoring. We thus
created an express service of our own, and by its means sowed
the seeds for our " Compassionate Release " stunt. We have
since learnt what happened to these letters. They reached
England in good time ; they were submitted to very high
quarters by my father, and he was solemnly advised to take
no action, on the grounds that to betray knowledge of our fate
would result in making the Turks believe we had secret means
of communication with England, a belief that might have
awkward consequences for us! So nothing was done.
Luckily we did not know, and had always the pleasure of
hoping for the best, which was good for us-it kept our
courage up.
We were now in smooth water again, and proceeded to
make ourselves as comfortable as possible. The country was
still under snow, and the charcoal brazier over which we
warmed ourselves was quite inadequate for our needs.
Considering we were going to present the Turks with a
treasure worth, according to the Spook, £28,000 this was
absurdly mean treatment. The Spook ordered us a stove-a
real big one-and we got it! Donkey-loads of wood were
bought for us in the bazaar, at cheap rates. The Cook was
put on fatigue by the Spook, and made to chop the wood up
for us, to light the fire of a morning before we were out of bed,
to, sweep out our rooms, to run messages to the bazaar, and
generally to attend to our comfort. He was delighted to do it.
He even brought us some very pleasing dishes of Turkish food,
and two kerosine lamps, with an ample supply of oil. The
camp had been without kerosine for a year or more. We had
burned crude Afion oil-a thick and very messy vegetable oil
which gave a miserable light and made reading after dark
more of a toil than a pleasure. The new lamps were a real
luxury, and our enjoyment of them was not lessened by the
pimple's explanation that the kerosine was really a Turkish
Government issue for prisoners, but as its price in the market
was fabulous the Commandant did not issue it to the camp.
He kept it for pin money!
There is no doubt we could have obtained anything the
Spook ordered, short of freedom. But we took care the
Spook should not order too much. Even in Turkey there is
such a thing as " obtaining money by false pretences" and it
would never do to have such motives ascribed to us, should an
enquiry be held. The Spook therefore announced that after
a short period our diet would be reduced to dry bread. The
alleged object of the low diet was "to increase clairvoyant
powers."
(Really to give us a " starved look " which might be ascribed to
madness shouldwe have to adopt the madness scheme, and in order to
enable us to accuse the Commandant of starving us should enquiries
come on the compassionate release plan. It could be made to serve
either purpose.)
It promised to incite a certain officer to persuade
the Commandant to stop the food from Posh Castle, so that
the onus of our starvation should rest on the camp and not
on the Turks. " Further," said the Spook, " the mediums
must remember to accept no monetary gain. They must
pay cost price for all they receive. They should expect and
accept only acts of kindness which cost nothing. Nor must
they hope for a reward for their services in money or its
equivalent. Their reward will come later. . . . When their
time comes to pass over to other spheres the knowledge
they have thus gained will be worth more to them than all
the riches in Asia."
" Why? " Moise asked. What is the reason they cannot
get money ? "
" In order to confine the study to true seekers after
knowledge," the Spook explained, " there must be no arriere
pensee."
The Cook was very much interested in the fact that we
were to get none of the treasure. He questioned Moise very
carefully on the point. He was anxious to make sure that
there was no possibility of a misunderstanding, and no chance
of our claiming a share later. He was frankly out for business,
was this " limb of Satan," and quite openly delighted at the
Spook's orders.
And now an incident occurred which both amused and
impressed the Commandant. One of the most capable officers
in the camp got an idea which he no doubt fondly imagined
would regain us our liberty. He acted on it with the
promptitude for which he was renowned. He informed the
Commandant, through the Interpreter, that Jones and Hill were a
pair of infernal practical jokers, that they were lazy beggars
who disliked cooking and had thrown the trouble of it on the
camp in general and Posh Castle in particular, and that
therefore they were confounded nuisances. There was no
manner of doubt, he said, but that they were simply pulling
the Commandant's leg in order to live a life of ease, and his
obvious plan was to send them back to the camp and let their
fellow-prisoners deal with them as they deserved, or to make
them do their own cooking.
Had the Commandant not been " in the know " our friend's
tactics might well have resulted in our being sent back to the
camp. As it was, Kiazim Bey was vastly tickled at the theory
of a leg-pull against himself, and pointed out to us with
immense joy that the boot was on the other foot, and that he
had successfully pulled the camp's leg. Moreover, the episode
redounded to the credit of the Spook, who had promised to
send this very officer to complain about the trouble of sending
us food. (We had received a hint that he might do so, but of
that hint the Turks were, of course, in complete ignorance.)
The Commandant was firmly convinced that his visitor had
been acting under the Spirit's control, as promised, and he
was correspondingly impressed. When questioned about it
the Spook modestly admitted responsibility, but explained
that from now on It wished to do as little as possible of this
" outside control work " in order to avoid " loss of force "
which would be more usefully employed in finding the
treasure.
At the end of the second seance, which also was devoted
to soothing the Commandant's difficulties and fears, there was
a scene. The Pimple announced that he also had some
private difficulties on which he wished to consult the Spook.
So private were they that he had written them out, and would
not utter them aloud. The Spirit would no doubt read the
paper and answer them privately. Before I could formulate
an excuse Hill, to my surprise, assented, and asked Moise to
place the paper of questions under the spook-board in the
usual way. Moise put his hand in his pocket, and then
sprang to his feet in wild excitement, and began a search
through all his pockets.
" Mon Dieu ! " he cried. " I am spooked! It is gone! "
He rushed about the room, looking under the table, in the
cupboards, in the teapot-everywhere possible and impossible.
Then he went through his pockets again and sank half
hysterical on to my bed.
" Oh, mon Dieu! Mon Dieu! " he cried." What shall I
do ? What shall I do ? "
" What on earth's the matter?" I was completely puzzled.
" My questions ! Oh, my questions! They are gone ! I am spooked ! "
It was a difficult task not to laugh. I knew Hill was sitting
with a face like a blank wall, but I dared not look at him.
" Are you sure you brought them ? " I asked.
The Pimple jumped up again. " I wrote them in the
office," he cried, dancing with excitement, " and then I came
here ! Certainly I brought them ! "
There was a sudden crash and two distinct thumps on the
landing outside. The noise sounded very loud in the empty
house. We all looked at one another.
" What was that ? " the Pimple whispered.
"It's the Spooks, I think," said I. "We often hear
noises at night. But I'll see." I took up a spare candle and
lit it.
" Be careful!" said Hill solemnly.
" Oh, be careful!" echoed the Pimple, who was badly
scared.
I knew no more than the others what the noise could be,
and I felt curiously nervous as I opened the door. The
Pimple's fear was infectious.
Outside on the landing we had a high shelf where we kept
our bread. Owing to some unknown cause-it may have
been the Pimple's agitated dancing in our room-a loaf had
fallen off the shelf and bumped down two of the steps of our
wooden stair. I picked it up and replaced it quietly.
" There was nobody to see," I said very solemnly, coming
back into the room, " but one thing I know and will swear-
that noise was not human! There's danger abroad tonight! "
" I knew I was spooked," groaned the Pimple. " Oh,
what shall I do ? "
" You may have left your questions in the office, where
you wrote them," Hill suggested.
This scared the Pimple worse than ever. He grabbed his
Enver cap and started for the door. The blackness of the
night outside stopped him. He came back and looked at us
appealingly.
" You say there is danger abroad to-night : would you
mind-do you think you could-"
" Come with you, Moise ? Certainly ! " I picked up the
candle and went with him as far as the gate, whence he legged
it for the office as fast as he could go. I returned to our room,
and Hill.
" He won't be back to-night," I said. " The poor little
fellow is frightened half out of his wits."
" Say, Bones, what was the noise ? How did you work it ? "
"I didn't-it worked itself. A most inhuman loaf!" I
told him about it, and we laughed together, and discussed the
seance.
"I wonder what was in those questions he was so excited
about ? " I said at last.
Hill grinned at me.
" Read 'em for youself," said he, handing me a slip of
paper.
"How the dickens did you know he had 'em ? " I gasped.
" Saw him fidgetin' with a bit of paper early in the evening -
picked his pocket when I got the chance. Read it ! "
This is what I read as soon as I recovered from my surprise:
" Repondez-moi si vous voulez par la meme voie miraculeuse
que la lettre ecrite sur ma tete. Les questions que
j'ai vous poser et dont je suis anxieux d'avoir les reponses
sont les suivants
1°. La difficulte que j'ai eu avec A--- a propos de sa
femme mercredi matin dernier en etes vous la cause ?
2°. Quelles sont les pensees ou sentiments du Commandant a mon egard?
3°. Aurai-je encore des histoires au sujet de la femme d' A---?
4°. A propos de la dame de B--- aurai-je des histoires ?
5°. Je suis sans profession ou connaissances pratiques
quelconques ; j'ai le desir de devenir quelqu'un ou quelque-
chose ; je suis pret a entreprendre l'etude que vous preferez
me convenir ; vous etes d'une intelligence remarquable,
merveilleuse. Veuillez me conseiller sur la carriere que vous
croyez etre meilleure pour moi et sur les moyens de travailler
ou a parvenir a me creer une destination. Je vous prie
aidez-moi.
MOISE TOKENAY."
" Pardonnez-moi si parfois j'oublie d'executer vos ordres
tout de suite ; ce n'est nullement par desobeisance mais par
etourderie ou desaccord avec mon chef."
(The author has taken the liberty of altering the names in
paragraphs I, 3 and 4 of the Pimple's letter, as he sees no necessity for
making public the identity of these two ladies.)
I copied out the questions for filing in our secret records,
made a tiny mark on the back of the original so as to be able
to recognize it when met with, and handed it back to Hill.
" Your job, Mr. Sikes," I said, " is to get that back into
the Pimple's possession without his knowing we have seen it ."
Hill thought for a moment. " Will it do if he gets it
before he comes in to-morrow ? " he asked.
" Don't be silly ! " I said. " Shove it back in his pocket
when he calls to-morrow morning. You can't do it before
that, with the place ringed with sentries."
" Can't I ? " said Hill. He held the paper of questions
under my nose. "Now you see it-houp la-now you
don't ! " It had vanished. " Where is it ? "
" Up your sleeve, or something. Go to bed," said I.
" Wrong again." Hill laughed, and rolled up his sleeves
for inspection. " You'll find out to-morrow where it is."
The night was already far spent. We turned in.
" Which is the Spook going to make him-a quelqu'un or
a quelquechose ? " asked Hill, as he snuggled under the
blankets.
" Take your choice," said I. " Tinker, tailor, soldier,
sailor-"
" Silk, satin, muslin, rags," Hill murmured ; " we'll count
the spuds we get for dinner to-morrow."
" What for ? " I asked sleepily.
" The end of the War. This year,next year, some time,
never! Good night, old chap."
Some hours later I woke. Hill's bed was empty. I
wondered drowsily what he was up to, and went to sleep
again.
When next I opened my eyes it was morning. Hill was
sleeping in his bed, very soundly. I reached for a book and
read for half an hour, then the Pimple came in. He was
humming a French song to himself, and sounded very happy.
" Ach, Hill, you grand paresseux ! Awake!"
Hill opened one eye.
" I have good news for you both," the Pimple went on.
" The questions-I have them ! "-he tapped his pocket-
and I am glad ! To have lost them would have been
dangersome. They are most private." Then he went on to
talk of other matters.
"Has he really got the questions ? " I asked Hill, after
the Pimple had gone.
" Oh yes," laughed Hill.
" How did you do it, old chap? I noticed your bed was
empty about 2 ac emma."
" Very simple ! " he chortled. " I-no, I won't tell you.
S'pose you find out for yourself. Of course," he added
maliciously, " you can ask the Spook if you like."
And there the matter rested. It is Hill's secret. Perhaps
the reader can solve it ?
At the next seance the Pimple produced his questions.
We recognized our identification mark on the paper as he
slipped it under the board, and took the risk that he had not
altered anything inside.
" Now, sir," said the Pimple to the Spook, " answer,
please."
He got his answers, and thought we were ignorant of what
was said. Here they are:
1. No.
2. Be careful.
3. Be careful.
4. Be most careful.
5. Your ambition is praiseworthy. Study languages
and the Art of Government.
Your greatest opportunity lies in Egypt. Seize the first chance you get of
going there. Either Jones or Hill can lead you to
fame if you earn their joint friendship. By my help
Jones's father raised Lloyd George to his present
supreme position. He started more humbly than
you."
The Pimple refused to tell us about the questions or
answers. He did not for a moment suspect that we knew
anything of either. But at the end of the seance, after a great
deal of camouflage talk about the camp and the War and other
matters, he led the conversation round, cleverly enough, to
Lloyd George, by telling us that an Irishman had attempted
to assassinate him. He asked if I knew him. This was what
we wanted. I showed him a photograph of the Prime Minister
and my father together. The Pimple examined it with
minute care.
" Your father-he is a spooker, too ? " the Pimple asked.
" All Welshmen are, more or less," said I, " and he used
to be top-hole at it. Why do you ask ? "
" I wondered if perhaps he and Lloyd George had ever
experimented together."
" They're continually at it," said I.
" Ha!" (the Pimple was quite excited) " and what was
Lloyd George to begin with, when your father first knew
him ? "
" I believe he was what some people call a ' pettifogging
attorney.' "
" And by spooking your father did much for him perhaps ? "
" I much regret, Moise, I can't tell you."
" It's a secret, perhaps ? "
" Very much so," said I. " Let's talk of something else."
Then the Pimple told us about the Armenian massacres
at Yozgad. He was a clever little rascal in his way ! For in
five minutes he was telling us how a few families had escaped
to Egypt which, he had always heard, was a wonderful
country. Was it not so? Did we know anything of
Egypt?
We didn't-but we told him quite a lot about the country
of his " greatest opportunity." He went away very
happy.
" He has swallowed the pill without winking," said Hill,
" and what's more, it is working! But what'll Lloyd George
think of it ? How did you get that photograph ? Does he
really know your father ? "
It was my turn to be malicious.
" S'pose you find out for yourself," said I. " Of course,
you can ask the Spook, if you like."
CHAPTER XIV
WHICH INTRODUCES 000 AND TELLS WHY THE PIMPLE GOT
HIS FACE SMACKED
AFTER we had been a week in solitary confinement
the Spook decided we were sufficiently " in tune " to
begin the treasure-hunt. The Commandant, now that his
fears o£ the consequences from the telepathy trial were at
rest, had begun to show a little impatience. It was time to
throw him a sop. Besides, we had now reconnoitred the
ground, and had gained a good idea of the character of the
man with whom we had to deal. We were ready for the
next fence.
To the Turks the important part of the seances that
followed was the treasure story. To us, the treasure story
was only the jam that hid the pill. The seances were really
an exposition of what goes on in all cases of conversion to
spiritualism-the development of a theory of spooking which
the Turk (quite unconsciously) made his own. We were
building up, for Kiazim Bey, the Pimple, and the Cook, an
experience of spooking which would give them the proper
point of view when the time came to propose our migration
from Yozgad. For, whatever the reader may think to the
contrary, the Turk is a rational animal who, like everyone
else, judges any new idea in the light of his own previous
knowledge ; and so, with infinite caution, we set to work to
stuff him with the fallacious experience that was the necessary
basis for the conclusion we wished him to reach. Had he
shared the knowledge as well as the faith of some British
spiritualists, it would have saved us a great deal of time and
trouble. But as things were he had first to be taught the
A B C of spiritualism, without realizing that he was being
taught anything!
(One of our principal assets was Raymond, which reached the
at mp about the end of February 1918. Moise translated it to the
Commandant, and read it himself, by order of the Spook.)
Our first treasure seance in the Colonels' House took place
on the 14th March between 5.30 and 10 p.m. After the
usual preliminary greetings, the Spook said it would explain
a few things. I quote the seance record:
SPOOK. " Death is like birth. For some time after
death a person is unable to communicate. Gradually he
learns how to do so, like a child learning to talk. Now, the
more violent the death, the longer it takes to learn; do you
understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes, we understand."
SPOOK. " Well, we do not use voice sounds in this sphere ;
we simply send thoughts, and just as you can stop your voice
from sounding, so we can stop our thoughts from going out.
Very few humans can read thoughts among themselves ; on
the other hand, very few of what you call ' spirits ' can make
their voices heard to human ears, and none can read human
thoughts except by entering into a medium. Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " I think we have understood everything except
the last part of the sentence."
SPOOK. " By 'entering into a medium' I mean, for
example, to read thoughts I must do it through Jones or Hill,
and my success or failure depends as much on their powers as
on mine. I can put thoughts into a person's head, but I
cannot take them out. Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " Well, when it becomes a question of reading
human thoughts, I am as ignorant of what I read as the
mediums are until it is read out, and all I do is to communicate
certain movements to the mediums, who in turn communicate
them to the glass. That is to say I myself act as an
intermediary medium to a control in a still higher sphere. So
you see thought-reading demands that not only should the
two human mediums be in tune between themselves, but also
with me, and the difficulty of keeping in tune varies as the
square of distance between the two human mediums, and the
human whose thoughts have to be read."
MOISE. " Explain more, please."
SPOOK. " This has never yet been understood by humans ;
it is very difficult. Listen, please, I will try again. In
ordinary cases you use two mediums, Jones and Hill. In
these cases I take complete control, and it is I who give the
answers. In these cases I know what to do and what I am
saying. But when it is necessary to thought-read a human
brain you have three mediums-of whom I am one. Do
you understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " Now to explain about distance. First, distance
has no meaning to me, but it affects the human mediums.
When you think a thought you cause certain ethereal movements.
Now, my powers are such that distance does not
affect me, but with humans it is different. The further away
the humans are from the thinker, the harder it becomes for
them to notice the ethereal movements. If too far away
they are not affected at all, and to keep in tune they must be
affected by the movement. Therefore distance is important."
MOISE. " It is good."
SPOOK. "Let me explain further. When you ask a
question aloud, your asking it at once puts the mediums in
tune with one another, because they hear the same thing at
the same time. But if you are working with three mediums,
and I catch the ethereal movements while the two human
mediums do not catch them, then I and the humans are not in
tune, so you cannot get anything. ' The strength of a chain
is that of its weakest link.' Now you know something never
before revealed in your sphere. Do you understand all I
said ? "
MOISE. " Yes, go on, please. Thank you for this great
revelation."
SPOOK. " I said I would tell my difficulties. First
difficulty is that 000 closes his thoughts to me. He has
not yet shaken off the hatred of your sphere and refuses to
benefit those he hates."
MOISE. " Who is 000, please ? What did you mean by
OOO ? "
SPOOK. " That is his name here."
MOISE. "The name of whom?
"
SPOOK. "000."
MOISE. " Who is he there ? "
SPOOK. " The one whose wealth you seek. He is here
now."
MOISE. " Go on, please."
SPOOK. " He says, if I understand him rightly (as yet he
is not very good at conveying thoughts), that if you are
friends he can reveal now."
MOISE. (aside in excitement, " Mon Dieu ! ") (Aloud)
" What does he mean by friends ? "
SPOOK. " Not those he hates."
MOISE. " We don't know if he hates us or not."
SPOOK. " Turks. He wants to speak to you himself to
see if you are friends."
MOISE. " Mr. Jones is a English. Mr. Hill too, and I am
Ottoman, but not a Turk. Let him speak to us, Sir."
SPOOK. " Are you ready ? He is going to try."
MOISE. " All right."
The glass now moved round the board in short, jerky
movements, but did not touch any letters.
The jerky movements then stopped, and our Spook took control again.
SPOOK. " He says the letters are not his letters, but he is
going to give you a test with these letters. Take down
carefully."
MOISE. " We are ready."
(The jerky movements of the glass began again, indicating
that 000 was in control.)
O00. " INTCHESELGUIZAKHAYERENKIDEK."
(The phrase is borrowed from Spink's Armenian Phrase Book
which he compiled from a study of Lavengro and a dictionary.)
SPOOK. " Do you understand that ? "
MOISE. " I know that it is Armenian, but I cannot
understand it because I do not know Armenian."
SPOOK. " 000 says ` Thank you, that is exactly what he
wanted to know. If you do not know Armenian you are no
friend of his' "-(Moise, aside, " Mon Dieu !")-- "and he bids
you farewell, and may one called ASDUNDAD curse all
Turks. He is angry and has gone." (NOTE.-The glass
appears very angry.)
MOISE. " Who will curse us ? "
SPOOK (angrily). " ASDU-I-DAD ! " (Moise had noted
down Asdundad in error.)
MOISE (nervously). " Thank you, Sir, thank you, Sir. I
have corrected spelling. What to do now ? "
SPOOK. " I can find out where the money is in another
way. You are very stupid not to have understood simple
Armenian, though it is not in Armenian characters. If you
had understood he might have told you where the treasure is."
(Moise, aside, " Mon Dieu ! ") " But never mind, I forgive
you. You have missed a good chance. (Moise, aside, " Mon
Dieu ! ") I am sorry for you. However, in five days I shall
be ready with a new plan, and I will begin to fulfil my promise
and tell you how the treasure was hidden. The presence of
000 here to-night was a lucky chance that may not occur
again. Good night, I am tired."
MOISE. " Good night, Sir."
SPOOK. " Good night. Hard luck."
Next day Moise complained to us that the Commandant
had cursed him for a fool (i) because he did not know Armenian,
(ii) because his translation of the early part of the seance
was not understandable in Turkish ! ! The poor little man
remarked that during the seance he understood everything,
and knew quite well that the Spook was revealing valuable
knowledge to us, but when he came to read it over afterwards
he found that his former clarity of vision had departed, and
the more he studied the record, the more fogged he became.
Only one thing was quite clear-the strength of thought-
waves varied inversely with the square of the distance.
As this was precisely the item of knowledge we wished him
to imbibe, Hill and I were thoroughly satisfied. We told
him we also were fogged now, but no doubt we would
understand it again some day.
" But," Moise grumbled, " that fool of a Commandant says
I told lies to the Spook-because I said I understood when I
didn't ! He will not believe I understood at the time."
" Oh, never mind him, Moise," said Hill, " he's an uneducated, incredulous ass."
" He is ! " said Moise, with great fervour. " But in one
thing he was right. I should have asked the name of 000 in
this world."
" Why ? " I asked. " Don't you know it already ? "
" Oh, yes," said the Pimple, " we know it. We only want
to see if the name is the same-if it is the same treasure. But
I can ask next time ! "
This was a corker ! We dared not ask Moise for the name
of the owner of the treasure, and then reproduce it on the
spook-board, for he might give us a false name as a test.
Nor did we wish to repeat the hackneyed trick of pretending
that Spooks have difficulties in giving names, for our Spook
had been cheerily naming Maule, Gilchrist, and others right
along. Of course, if the worst came to the worst, the Spook
could forget the name, and prove from an eloquent and
scientific passage in Raymond that this was a common failing
with spirits?(See Raymond, pp. 360-361)
But we hoped to find a more original way out
of the difficulty.
Before the next treasure seance took place we had some
success in dealing with the camp's business, which will be
narrated later. We met again for treasure-hunting from
8.15 to 11.30 p.m. on March 19th. There were the usual
preliminaries. Then the Spook said-(I again quote the
record):
SPOOK. " Now, about 000. I have found out a lot
about him."
MOISE. " Had you much work before you found out ?
And will you tell us how you did it ? "
SPOOK. " It is very hard, and it is difficult to tell you
about him, because he and his friends are struggling to control
the mediums." (The glass here began to move jerkily,
indicating 000.) " Look out. Stop! " (We stopped, in
obedience to Moise, who was greatly excited.)
SPOOK. " When the glass begins jerking like that it
means I have lost control, and the mediums must stop at
once, as 000 is in control. Do you understand?"
MOISE. " We understand. Would you like to tell us
what sort of a struggle it is ? "
SPOOK. " Mental struggle, but do not go into side
questions to-night, as there is much opposition."
MOISE. " All right, Sir."
SPOOK. " Keep cool, Moise! You are too excited, and
will influence the mediums."
MOISE. " Right, Sir. I will keep cool. Will you go on ? "
SPOOK. " 000 was a shrewd man. He was closely
connected with a certain secret organization about which
the Sup. has heard. As soon as Russia declared war he
foresaw that Turkey would come into it, and at once began
quietly to-" (the glass began jerking again).
MOISE. "Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill ! Stop! Stop!
Stop!" (As Hill and I were in a" half-trance " Moise had to
shout loudly to stop us. After a pause the Spook continued)
" realize his wealth and convert it into gold. Damn
you ! Go away 1" (Glass jerked again.)
Moise. " Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop! Stop!"
(We stopped.)
MOISE (aside). " Why was he damning us ? "
SPOOK. " I was talking to 000."
MOISE. " I understand."
SPOOK. " Well, before Turkey declared war 000 began
to bury his gold." (Jerks again, and a pause.) " He hid it in
a place known only to himself, nor did he ever tell anybody to
his dying day. He was afraid to tell his relations in case they
might reveal the secret under torture. Well, when Turkey
entered the War, 000 contributed a large sum of gold to the
Armenian Association, and realized his debts as far as possible.
When the Armenians joined the Russians, he knew a massacre
was likely. His difficulty then was this : if he told nobody
where the money was hidden, then he might be killed and his
family would derive no benefit from his wealth. On the
other hand, if he told his family they might reveal the secret
under pressure. Do you know what he did ? This is where
I shall meet strong opposition. I want to see if the mediums
are in good tune. Tell them to rest a moment, and we will
see if they are in good tune."
MOISE (to Jones and Hill). " Rest a moment. Rest a
moment." (We took our fingers off the glass.)
JONES and HILL (absolutely simultaneously, and a propos
of nothing). " I say, Moise, we want a walk to-morrow! "
MOISE. " How do you think they are ? Do you think
they are in tune ? Are you satisfied ? "
SPOOK. " That was quite good. Don't you think so,
Moise ? "
MOISE. " Yes, I think so."
SPOOK. " It was very nearly trance-talk-well -"
(angrily to 000)-" Now see here, I am stronger than you!
You may as well give up. I am going to tell in spite of you !
Moise, if I am interrupted-"
MOISE. " Stop ! Stop ! " (Moise was very excited and
thought the Spook had said " I am interrupted." After a
pause we continued):
SPOOK. " I repeat, if I am interrupted, as the mediums
are in tune, let us fight it out with 000."
MOISE. " Yes, I understand."
SPOOK. " Take down carefully! The opposition may
sometimes manage to get to the wrong letters, but take
everything down."
MOISE. " I will try. Try to write slowly because I could
make mistakes. I will do my best. I am ready." (At this
point the glass began moving very slowly in evident effort,
getting near a letter and then being forced away. Moise said
afterwards that he could see the whole fight going on, and that
it was wonderful to watch. Both mediums were affected,
breathed heavily, and got very tired. The struggle is
indicated in the text by capitals where resistance was greatest.
The remarks in brackets are explanatory notes and ejaculations
by Moise. The portions in brackets and italics were those
written by the opposition, when they succeeded in getting
control, though of course Moise only discovered this afterwards.
Moise, unfortunately, forgot the Control's injunction
to keep cool : he got more and more excited, with disastrous
results, as will be seen below.)
SPOOK. " 000 therefore made THREE C-L-U-E-S
A-L-L ALIKE. (Asduidad ! Asduidad !) One named the
place from which to M-E-A-S-U-R-E, one the DIS-T-ANCE,
and the third gave the D-I-R-E-C-T-I-0-N." (Quickly.)
" Rest-very good ! Very good. Rest." (Note : Mediums
exhausted.)
SPOOK (continuing after a rest). " Well, he wrote out these
three clues on three pieces of paper ; each was written in a
peculiar way so that nobody would guess they were clues to
treasure, if they were found. He then took three pieces of
paper and W-R-A-P-P-E-D a S-A-M-P-L-E in each, enclosed
each in a S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E R-E-C-E-P-T-A-C-L-E AND
B-U-R-I-E-D (Asduidad ! Asduidad !) E-A-C-H
separately having first covered each receptacle with a thick coating
of fat to prevent rust. Good. Very good. One more
struggle, and that will be enough for to-night. Rest."
(Mediums rested.)
SPOOK (continuing). " Now his fear was if he told one
man where all these were buried that man might dig them up
and then keep the treasure ; so he said nothing about treasure to anybody.
His plan was this : he selected three
persons he knew were likely to remain alive ; let us call them
by their names, WHICH W-E-R-E (Asduidad ! Asduidad !)
Steady ? they are beating me." (Moise, excitedly, " My
God!") "Did THEY SAY THAT WORD, WORD
WORD? "
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. "And why did you help them, Moise ? You called
too, and that has beaten me." (Moise, aside, " My God ! ")
SPOOK. " There you go again. I am BEATEN. (What
did you say, Moise, what did you say ? Moise ! repeat those
ejaculations !) "
MOISE. " I said 'My God ! ' "
SPOOK. " (Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha !) Oh, Moise, I can
never give the names now! Three times you called on your
God. Three times they succeeded in doing the same! I
am beaten ! Rest. I will explain." (Mediums, who were
now utterly exhausted, rested.)
During the pause, Moise accused himself, but could not
understand why the Control should have laughed. The Spook
apparently must have listened to Moise's remarks, for he gave
the following interesting explanation.
SPOOK. " No, no, Moise, you do not understand. Owing
to your saying that ejaculation twice, I had lost control.
They " (emphatically) " took charge and made you say it a
third time. Then they burst out laughing. It does not
matter much. It makes it a little harder for you, because
henceforth they can always stop me from giving the name."
MOISE. " I am very sorry. I could not know that the
fact of saying 'My God ! ' would make such a difference."
SPOOK. " The mediums are not to blame. The reason
why your saying those words made such a difference was
because They " (000 and his friends) " were saying the same
thing. That puts you in tune with them instead of with me.
It was for this reason I warned you at the beginning not to
get excited. I never say anything without cause ! "
MOISE. " I am very sorry indeed, Sir."
SPOOK. " Never mind, listen ! 000 went to each of the
three separately. What names shall we give them to distinguish them ? "
MOISE. " I do not understand, Sir."
SPOOK. " I " (emphatically) " cannot name them now "
MOISE. " Call them AAA, YYY, and KKK."
SPOOK. " Yes. 000 went to AAA secretly, and said to
him, 'I have hidden a certain thing in a certain place.' He
described exactly the place where the first clue is hidden. He
said to AAA, 'If I die, send for YYY, and do what he says.'
Then he made AAA swear a great oath never to reveal what
had been told him. He then went secretly to YYY and told
him where the second clue was buried. He said, 'If I die,
someone will send for you and show you a token. When that
happens send for KKK.' He gave tokens to both AAA and
YYY. Then he went to KKK, and, putting him on oath, he
told him where the third clue was buried, and said, 'If I die,
two persons will send for you. You will know them by their
tokens. When this happens all three of you go to my heir,
and tell him what I have told you.' YYY and KKK are dead.
I must stop, as the mediums are getting exhausted."
(Mediums rested.) (Continuing) : " No more about the
treasure to-night."
MOISE. " I am sorry for what I said."
SPOOK. " All right. It does not matter. We can get
round it. What else do you want to ask ? "
MOISE. " Mr. Jones wants to know if he and Mr. Hill can
have a little more food to-morrow."
SPOOK. " Certainly. And listen !
They may have anything they want for 24 hours. I give them a complete
holiday because they have done very well to-night. After 24
hours they must begin living on bread alone-no cooked food.
This is necessary to counter-balance the mistake made by the
sitter to-night. Twenty-four hours' freedom to do what they
like, then semi-starvation till first clue is found. To-morrow
at noon I shall give some advice to the Sup. Next treasure
seance after five days. Good night."
MOISE. " Good night, Sir."
Moise was almost in tears at the failure. Over and over
again he abused himself for having forgotten the Spook's
injunction to keep calm. He explained, pitifully, that he had
not intended to name the Divinity. " Mon Dieu ! " is a
common, everyday expression of surprise in France, where he
had been educated, and he had merely used the English
equivalent. Besides, he did not know that " Asduidad "
was the Armenian for God, as the local Armenians pronounced
the word " Asdvad." How was he to know he was getting
into tune with the opposition ? If he had only kept silence,
we would have got the names, and it would not have taken
long to make their owners tell what they knew! Now the
names were hidden for ever ! And so on.
We consoled him, and saw him to the gate, for he was very
excited and very nervous as to what the Spook might do to
him. Then Hill and I waltzed together in the little yard, for
we had got out of the difficulty as to the name of the hider of
the treasure, and the blame lay not with the Spook, nor with
us, but with the Turks. We had also created a most useful
" opposition " and taught the Turks-by experience-that
the Spook depended largely for its success on our conduct,
and on that of the Pimple, the Cook, and the Commandant.
Lastly the Pimple's only criticism of our Stevensonian
treasure story had been to marvel at the cleverness of 000.
He had swallowed the yarn whole.
From our window we could see South hill gleaming white
in the moonlight. Beside a rock in the snow the first clue
lay buried. With luck, we'd dig it up quite soon,
and photograph the Commandant in the process. Hill took extra pains
in his practice at palming the camera that night.
And next morning the poor little Pimple came to us more
nearly in tears than ever. His face was very red. The
Commandant, he told us, had just smacked it because he had
called three times upon his God.
" And indeed," wailed the Pimple, " perhaps I should have
known, for three is a mystic number! "
But all the same he shook his fist in the direction of Kiazim Bey's office.
CHAPTER XV
IN WHICH THE SPOOK PUTS OUR COLONEL ON PAROLE IN HIS
TURN, SAVES THE HUNT CLUB, AND WRITES A SPEECH
IN the interval between the treasure seances we interfered
as much as possible with the administration of the camp,
the Spook butting in wherever an occasion offered with
suggestions for the amelioration of the lot of our comrades. Our
most successful effort was in connection with the Hunt Club.
Shortly before we had got ourselves locked up, some
fifteen or twenty officers had decided to form a Hunt Club.
The idea was to purchase greyhounds, and, with Kiazim's
permission, to hunt once or twice a week over the hills in the
neighbourhood. The membership of the Club was strictly,
limited, for it was thought that Kiazim would not allow
more than a few officers to be out at the same time, as the
number of spare sentries at his disposal was small.
Hill and I knew no more of the matter than that the idea
was being entertained by a select few, and was being kept
secret. A few days after we had been imprisoned the Pimple
informed us that the Commandant had granted permission
for the Club to be formed, that a couple of long dogs had been
bought, and that there was a good deal of ill-feeling in the
camp amongst the eighty odd officers who had been left out
in the cold and were not members of the combine which had
made this " corner " in cross-country exercise. We decided
to try to get Kiazim to extend his permission not only to
members but to anyone who wanted to hunt. But we could
not see how to interfere.
On the 15th March we were informed by the Pimple, in
the course of his daily visit, that the Commandant was
" what you say in a hole." It appeared that, when he gave
permission for the formation of a Hunt Club, he had
overlooked a standing order which strictly forbade such organizations.
Communications had now been received from
Constantinople drawing his attention to the order and reiterating
the prohibition of all hunting for prisoners.
Constantinople orders must be obeyed, so Kiazim was
going to the camp next day to withdraw his permission and
close down the Club. That night Hill and I discussed the
matter and formed our plans. We must interfere to save the
Hunt Club. We decided to pit the authority of the Spook
against that of the Turkish War Office.
On the 16th we sent the Cook with a note to the Pimple
telling him that the spook-board had been rapping and
tapping and making curious noises all night, and we thought
the Spook wanted to communicate something. The Pimple
came at once, and we began our sitting.
The Spook began by warning Moise not to tell the mediums
what the glass was writing, because if he did so the mediums
would refuse to go on, as the information concerned their
fellow-officers. If Jones or Hill questioned him afterwards
about the seance, he was to say that the Spook had been
arranging for him an introduction to a certain beautiful lady,
and that the matter was private.
Then we settled down to it. The glass wrote steadily,
Moise getting more and more excited, but keeping silent
except for an occasional studiously innocent ejaculation. He
thought, of course, that we did not know what was being
written.
The Spook said It wanted to save the Commandant from
disgrace. He had made a bad mistake in giving permission
for a Hunt Club, but he would make a much worse one if he
carried out his intention of prohibiting it. Such action would
make the camp exceedingly angry with Kiazim Bey, and the
thought-waves they generated against him would be of the
greatest assistance to 000 and the opposition. They would
" block " the treasure messages ! Further, at present the
prisoners were happy and contented. Nobody wanted to
escape. But, as sure as Kiazim lived, his one hope of
preventing escape (which would disgrace him) lay in keeping his
promise. The best way of angering an Englishman was to
break your promise to him, and if the breaking of the promise
touched his pocket
(the greyhounds were expensive-about £T20 each, I believe)
as well as his comfort, the Englishman
became quite madly unreasonable, while the Scotsmen (and
the camp was full of them) turned into wild beasts. They
could no more stop the prisoners from breaking out than they
could stop the sea. Therefore it behoved Kiazim Bey to be
careful. If he riled the camp many would run away, not so
much with the idea of reaching England, which was hopeless,
as in order to secure the removal of the Commandant from
his post ; and the most likely of all to do this was Colonel
Maule, who-as he knew from experience-was a nasty,
vicious, spiteful fellow where his physical exercise was
concerned.
" Now," said the Spook, " what you fear is that one or
more of these fellows will escape while out hunting, and then
you will get into trouble with the War Office for allowing
them to hunt in the face of orders. If you take my advice,
nothing of this will happen. Constantinople will not know.
I shall arrange everything for you. You need only concern
yourself with Maule-I shall see to the rest. Go to Maule AT
ONCE. Tell him of the standing order. Say you had
overlooked it when you gave permission for the Club, but
that you will not go back on that permission now, although it
may get you into trouble, if he will meet you halfway. Then
ask him for his parole not to escape while out hunting, and
tell him you expect him to hold himself responsible that none
of the others in the Hunt Club will use it as a means to
escape. If you do this I guarantee everything will be all
right. But if you persist in your decision to withdraw your
promise, you will be helping 000 & Co. and will have extra
difficulty in finding the treasure."
The seance ended about 3.30 p.m. The Pimple said he had
no time to tell us anything. He went off hotfoot to the
Commandant. By 6.3o he was back. He burst into our
room in great excitement as we were starting dinner, and cried
out:
" It is all over! Wonderful! Wonderful ! It is marvellous ! "
" What is wonderful ? " we asked.
Then Moise remembered that he had been forbidden to
tell us of the Spook's advice. His face was a study.
" What is wonderful ? " we repeated.
" The-the beautiful lady," he stammered. " She-she
was very kind to me ! The Spook-the Spook introduced
us." He plunged into a long and confused story, to which
we listened with the utmost solemnity, of a superlatively
beauteous damsel whom he said he had discovered under the
Spook's guidance in one of the back streets of Yozgad.
At a later seance he asked for permission to tell us the
whole story. The Spook gave it. We then learned that the
Commandant had gone to Colonel Maule at once, and carried
out the Spook's instructions. The Colonel had gladly given
his own parole not to escape whilst out hunting, and had
added that as President of the Club he had already taken a
similar parole from all other members of the Hunt, and therefore
the Commandant might be quite easy in his mind that the privilege
he had granted would not be abused !
This was one of a number of coincidences which greatly
added to the renown of our Spook. Colonel Maule had taken
these paroles from our fellow-officers after we had left the
camp, and neither Hill nor I knew anything about them. We
could almost equally well have persuaded Kiazim Bey to let
his promise stand without sending him to Maule at all, and
our object in sending him was to get a playful smack at our
Senior Officer by putting him on parole as a quid pro quo for
the paroles he had taken out of us. Indeed, this was why
the Spook limited Kiazim's attentions to the Colonel, who we
knew had no intention of escaping, and forbade interference
with the rest of the camp. But after Maule's statement,
following so naturally on the Spook's promise, nothing on
earth would have convinced Kiazim that it was Maule himself
(and not the Spook acting through him) who had put the
others on parole. The incident became for the Turks one
more marvellous example of our Spook's power of controlling
the minds of others, and in the face of this experience Kiazim
readily believed that the Spook would keep Constantinople in
ignorance of his disobedience to orders. So permission was
graciously granted, and the Hunt Club became one of the
institutions of Yozgad. The authors of " 450 Miles to
Freedom " called it " the most useful " of the concessions
granted at Yozgad. " Some of the happiest recollections of
our captivity," they say, " are those glorious early mornings
in the country, far away from the ugly town which was our
prison. Here, for a few brief hours, it was almost possible to
forget that we were prisoners of war." Hill and I are very
glad of that !
It is of course possible that the Commandant would have
disobeyed his own Government without the interference of
Hill and myself. Perhaps the camp could have saved the
position off its own bat. Perhaps the parole not to escape
would have been sufficient of itself to induce the Commandant
to disobey his own War Office. But we doubt it very much.
There were other factors that counted more in his decision.
These were, his belief that Constantinople would never know,
his fear that if he angered the camp escapes would certainly
take place, and his dread lest the Spook communication about
the treasure be " blocked " by ranging the thought-waves of
the camp against himself and on the side of 000.
So elated were we by our success that four days later, on
the 20th March, we laid a plot to commit Kiazim to an open
declaration of a friendly policy towards the camp. That
night, in recognition of his kindness in having given permission
for ski-ing during the past winter, he was to be the guest of
the Ski Club at a dinner in Posh Castle.
We guessed that someone was likely to make a speech
thanking him for the privilege he had granted. It was easy
enough to prophesy the sort of thing that would be said, and
we thought it would be a good stroke to write his reply.
Therefore, towards the close of a seance held at noon on the
20th March, the Spook suddenly said
" Would the Superior like to make a very popular speech
to-night ? I can help him, though I know he can do it quite
well himself."
MOISE. " Certainly. He would like to make a very popular speech."
SPOOK. " Well, begin by saying what he already intends
to say about the pleasure it has given him to meet with the
officers on so friendly a footing. Then let him go on as
follows : 'That our respective countries are at war is no
reason why there should be any personal rancour between us.
It rejoices my heart to think that the past winter has done so
much to create a better understanding. I for my part have
learned through your Ski Club that you Englishmen will not
necessarily abuse any privilege granted to you. You, on
your part, have, I hope, realized that I am anxious to concede
every possible liberty I can to add to your happiness. The
only condition I set before you is that no special concession I
grant should be abused. I feel now, after this winter, that
there is none of you who will abuse my confidence. Since
the days of your Crusades, Turks and English have mutually
admired ore another : let us do nothing in Yozgad to lessen
that admiration. Gentlemen, I sympathize with you in your
misfortune of war, and I shall try to make your stay in
Yozgad as pleasant as possible. As soldiers you know that
regulations are regulations, and must be obeyed.
But sometimes it may be possible to grant you little extra privileges.
As officers I know your great desire is to get back to fight for
your country. As gentlemen I know none of you would
abuse my confidence or, use any extra liberty I give you, for
the purpose of getting away. Gentlemen, I ask you to drink
to our better friendship, and I couple the toast with the name
of the officer who has done so much to improve our mutual
understanding-Lieut. Spink."
(Spink was the originator of ski-ing in Yozgad, and to his tact in
dealing with the Commandant the credit of the Ski Club is due.)
MOISE. " Has he to say that in Turkish or get the English
copy and present it at the end of the dinner ? "
SPOOK. " A very good suggestion, Moise."
MOISE. " Anything more, Sir ? "
SPOOK. " This should be given as a reply to a speech.
He can add anything he likes in answer to other speeches.
Note, this is only a suggestion. I am anxious to help the
Sup. when I can."
MOISE. " That is very kind of you. What about YYY
and KKK ? "
SPOOK. " No treasure business to-day. Good-bye."
Several hours later, about 5 p.m., Moise came to us in a
state of great excitement, and said, " Major Gilchrist has just
given me a speech to translate into Turkish. It it to be given
to the Commandant to-night. I am sure the Spook has written
this also. Let us ask him."
We got out the Ouija, and Moise read the speech aloud to
the Control. The speech was as follows:
" M. le Commandant, and Gentlemen. We are assembled
here to-night by the kind permission of the Commandant to
celebrate the end of the Ski season. During the past three
and a half months we have been very fortunate in having had
excellent snow and suitable weather for ski-ing, but this
would have availed us nothing if the Commandant, with a
truly sporting spirit, had not stretched a point and allowed us
full vent for our energies. If the Commandant looks at those
assembled here, I am sure he will agree that we all show by our
fitness the great benefit he has conferred on us by allowing us
so much freedom to get exercise and plenty of fresh air.
Gentlemen, I ask you to rise with me and drink the health of
the Commandant according to our usual custom, with musical
honours. 'For he's a jolly good fellow, etc.' "
MOISE (to Control). " Is your speech in reply to this ? "
SPOOK. " Of course it is, you might have guessed it."
MOISE. " We did guess it, Sir. Thank you very much
indeed. It is wonderful."
What really was wonderful was the fact that Gilchrist
should have hit upon the idea of getting his speech written
out in Turkish to be handed to Kiazim Bey at the dinner-
and that the very same idea should have cropped up in our
seance a few hours earlier. For Kiazim, with the Spook's
approval, was to hand in an English copy in the same way.
So far as I am aware the handing over of a written translation
of a speech had never been thought of at a previous function in
Yozgad. It was another of those coincidences which may
help the reader to sympathize with our victims' belief in the
powers of the Spook. Indeed, it is not a bad parallel to
the " Honolulu incident " in Raymond, and I may be
considered wrong in calling it a " coincidence." Spiritualists
would no doubt find an easy explanation in " telepathy."
Pah!
Bimbashi Kiazim Bey spent the afternoon in learning
his speech by heart, and delivered it in great style at the dinner
that night, to the accompaniment of uproarious cheering,
which we could hear from our room. Next day the English
copy of it was posted up on the camp notice-board. A good
many people thought the English too idiomatic to be the
Pimple's composition, but no one knew who had written it,
and the general impression was that the Commandant was
showing signs of being a reformed character.
The five courses of the Ski Club dinner were sent over
to us by our good friends in Posh Castle, and a bottle of raki
with them. The Spook, it will be remembered, had luckily
given us a complete holiday to eat what we liked on this day.
(This was not a coincidence but the reverse.) We knew it was
likely to be our last decent meal for many a long day, and we
did full justice to it. For in response to repeated and urgent
secret signals from us, Price had at last consented to send us
no more food, and henceforward, until we had beaten the
doctors, our diet was to be bread and tea. In the lean days
that lay ahead, in misery and sickness and starvation, that
dinner was to be a very joyous memory to both of us.
Indeed, from the soup to the raki liqueur, it was a notable
feast, and it heartened us. When we had finished we stood
at our window, listening to the songs and laughter and cheering
from across the way, and peppered the Posh Castle windows
with our pea-shooters by way of accompaniment. One of
the guests, who had drowned his sorrows with some thoroughness,
staggered out into Posh Castle yard for a little fresh air,
and sat him against the wall, his head in his hands, close beside
a large tin bath. We collected snow and snow-balled him
from our retreat. When we missed him, we hit the bath,
'till it boomed like a 4.7. The poor fellow was too far gone to
realize what was happening. He apostrophized the bath as a
" noisy blighter," and every time he was hit called the empty
world to witness that it was a " dirty trick, a dirty trick
to shtop a Flow shleeping." A particularly nasty smack
finally brought him to his feet and he rushed back into Posh
Castle roaring out something about the " neshessity for instant
action by counter attacksh." An hour later the company
broke up and as the sentries marshalled them under our
windows, preparatory to marching them to their respective
homes, we thrust out our heads and sang them a lullaby:
" We'll all go thought-reading to-day,
In prison it's not very gay;
But a raki or two makes a difference to you,
So we'll all go thought-reading to-day."
There was a second's silence down below, a silence with
something of consternation in it : then Winnie Smith bellowed
out
" It's Bones and Hill ! Good lads ! Keep your tails up !
Three cheers for the criminals ! "
A yell of greeting went up from the crowd. The sentries,
alarmed at this disobedience of the Commandant's orders,
began to hustle them, but Winnie shouted again.
" Hush, Winnie," said a voice we recognized. " Do you
want the whole camp hanged ? Come away and leave 'em."
And Winnie was dragged off by his mentor. But at the
corner he drowned all expostulation in a cheery " Good night "
to us. Thank you, Winnie ! Everybody knows you are a
happy-go-lucky, impulsive, generous, and most injudicious
young rascal, but you have a heart of gold to a friend in trouble.
Hill and I weren't in trouble, of course, but you thought we
were.
On the 21st March, in accordance with the Spook's orders,
our diet was reduced to toast and tea. To begin with our
allowance was one pound of dry bread a day. Later we
reduced it to eight ounces. Our diet had to be lowered more
suddenly than was intended by the Spook originally, " in
order to counteract Moise's mistake at the last seance."
On this day we were taken for our first (and only) walk. We
felt very empty.
22nd March.-" On his morning visit," my diary reads,
" Moise told us that the Commandant's wife cannot sleep for
thinking of the treasure. With a view to explaining their
coming access of wealth, she and her husband have started
a rumour that they have sold some property in Constantinople.
Moise has started a similar rumour about himself. He tells
us that relations between the treasure-hunters are getting
strained, and unless the Spook apportions shares in the
treasure, there will be trouble. The Cook says he will not
be put off with a small share, and unless the Commandant
gives him at least a quarter he will report the whole business
to the War Office."
23rd March.-" A quiet day. Affairs still strained between
the Commandant and the Cook, who is a man of one idea,
-money ! The Spook refuses to interfere orr to apportion
the shares."
24th March.-" The low diet is working wonders. Hill
and I are getting beautifully into tune. Several times during
his visit Moise noticed that we both made the same remark in
the same words at the same moment. 'Your two minds,'
said he, are obviously rapidly becoming one mind.'"
Of course they were! But the Pimple never knew what
a lot of practice it took to do it naturally.
CHAPTER XVI
HOW WE FELL INTO A TRANCE AND SAW THE FUTURE
OUR next seance, held on the 24th March, purported
to be an explanation of and an introduction to that
special species of trance-talk which appeals to all superstitious
minds-the reading of the future. The real lesson which we
wished the Turk unconsciously to assimilate was the fact that
a " ray " exists-called by the Spook the "telechronistic
ray "-which preserves both the past and the future in the
present for anyone who can get into touch with it, and that
Jones and Hill were developing the power to get into touch
with it. At the time, the Turks paid very little attention to
the telechronistic ray. Their interest was centred in the
trance-talk description of the future finding of the treasure.
But later on, when the Spook offered to disclose, under proper
conditions, the whereabouts of all hidden treasures, the Turks
remembered their lesson and themselves quoted the
" telechronistic ray " seance as an argument in favour of the Spook
being able to fulfil its offer.
Further, the trance-talk picture of the future was intended
to be a very gentle introduction of the idea that when the
treasure was discovered the mediums would be away from
Yozgad, because they would send news of its whereabouts by
letter.
The seance is no doubt poor stuff from a metaphysical
point of view, but it was good enough for the Turks, and I
quote it in full as an example of the way in which we entangled
our victims in a labyrinth of confused reasoning. For it
must always be borne in mind that a medium can have no
more valuable asset in his sitter than a theory of spooking, and
the more ill-defined, tortuous and confused that " theory "
may be, the easier it becomes to hoodwink its exponent. The
really dangerous man to a medium is not at all the gentleman
possessed of a vast knowledge of spooks and their ways, and
consequently prepared to explain phenomena in the light of
that knowledge, but the ordinary everyday man, without any
theories of the supernatural and preferably with a good
knowledge of conjuring, of logic, and of the tricks of the
cross-examiner, who will apply to what he sees and hears the
tests of his everyday experience. Confusion, in one form or
another, is the alpha and omega of the medium's stock in
trade.
The seance opened with a little speech by Moise. We
encouraged him--or rather, the Spook did-to make these
speeches, and gradually he formed the habit of writing them
beforehand so as to make sure of omitting nothing of importance.
In time, they amounted to a report of everything that
had happened in connection with ourselves or with the
rest of the camp since the last seance. In this way our
knowledge was kept up to date, and we gained much
important information. The speeches were delivered-not to us
but to the piece of tin which was our spook-board, and
which Moise always addressed as" Sir." It contained for him
as real a personality as the idol does for the savage, and he
treated it with similar reverence. He lied to us, in our
capacity as ordinary mortals, with a face of brass, but he
never lied to his sacred piece of tin. Picture him, then,
leaning over the board with paper and pencil ready to take
down the Spook's answer while we set our fingers on the
glass, and as wooden as possible an expression on our faces,
and listened to his oration.
Seance in Colonels' House, 24th March, 5 p.m. to 7.45 p.m.
MOISE. " Good evening, Sir. Before starting the treasure
business, let me first thank you for the speech you made for
the Commandant to say at the Ski Club dinner. I think
everybody was pleased. I did not come before to thank you
because you gave us the order not to trouble you before five
days; but I do it now. Second, I beg your pardon again for
having so etourdiment ejaculated in the last seance, and I am
ready, if possible, in order to correct the wrong I may have
done, to share the hardships and restrictions you have inflicted
on the mediums, if you think it convenient."
SPOOK. " Thank you. Later on I may require your help.
Not now."
MOISE. " I am ready at any time."
SPOOK. " I am going to prepare you for trance-talk. I
am going to explain a very difficult thing. First, what time
is it ? "
MOISE. " It is ten minutes past five, according to camp
time, ten minutes past ten by Turkish time."
SPOOK. " When eleven o'clock comes will the present
time be dead and gone ? "
MOISE. " Will you explain, please ? "
SPOOK. " Is yesterday still here or not ? Is to-morrow
here yet ? "
MOISE. " We think that to-morrow is not here yet. We
don't quite understand."
SPOOK. " It is difficult. Is last year here now ? "
MOYSE. " No, it is not. We are in 1918 now."
SPOOK. " Is next year here now ? "
MOISE. " No, we think it is not here."
SPOOK. " Quite so. You think the past is one thing, and
the future is another, and the present a third. Is it not so ? "
MOISE. " I will say there are three things altogether."
SPOOK. " I will try and show that you are wrong-that
both the future and the past exist together now. But it is
hard to explain because all human languages are deficient in
the words I require. For instance, the phrase 'in tune' does
not express exactly what I mean by it, nor does the French
phrase 'en rapport,' not the Greek 'sumpatheia' ; nor any
phrase in any human language. Well, you know sound can
be trapped, for you have a clumsy method of doing it. Do you
understand ? "
MOISE. " The phonograph method ? "
SPOOK. " Quite so. A past sound existing in the present.
Is it not so ? "
(Moise consulted the mediums, and after a discussion,
went on).
MOISE. " Jones says that the phonograph is only a record
of a sound, it is not a sound existing at the present."
SPOOK. " Stupid, the sound is there. All that is required
is the proper instruments and conditions to bring it out. Do
you understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes, we understand that."
SPOOK. " Now, look at the fire."
MOISE " Yes, I am looking."
SPOOK. " Would you say it is burning now, or would you
not?"
MOISE. " Yes, we would."
SPOOK. " Why do you say it is blazing now-at present ? "
MOISE. " Because we see it."
SPOOK. " Quite so. Again, say something, Moise."
(Moise spoke.) "You are talking, now, now, now, are you not ? "
MOISE. " Yes, I am."
SPOOK. " How do the mediums know?"
MOISE. " Because they hear me."
SPOOK. " Because you see and hear a thing you say it is
happening in the present. Is it not so ? "
MOISE. "Yes. It is so."
SPOOK. " If you saw one star collide with another star
you would say, 'Look, that star is at present colliding with
that other star ' ; is that so ? "
MOISE. " Yes, I would."
SPOOK. "Then do you think you would be talking sense?"
MOISE. " We think we are."
SPOOK. " Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ! Listen ! It takes
what you call a hundred years for the light of some of the
stars to reach the sphere you live in. So when you see a
collision you may be watching a thing which really happened
what you call a hundred years ago. For you it is the present
time, because the rays of light have preserved it for you for
all those things you call years. But you are looking at the
past. Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " I shall say, 'I see the present,' but if I know
astronomy, by thinking a little I will be persuaded that I am
not looking at a present thing but a past thing, because the
rays have taken a long time to reach my eyes."
SPOOK. "What I am trying to prove is this: even to
your imperfect senses, the past can exist in the present, also
the future can exist in the present."
MOISE. " How ? An example about the future, please,
Sir."
SPOOK. " Bless you ! Your mathematicians, as you call
them, can fix the next eclipse of the sun to the nearest second.
Because they happen to have discovered the laws ruling that
little portion of the field of knowledge, that portion of the
future is known and is laid bare in the present. So, in a sense,
past, present, and future co-exist."
MOISE. " No, the knowledge of them co-exists."
SPOOK. " Silly. Is the fire existing now, or merely your
knowledge of it ? "
MOYSE. " The fire is existing now."
SPOOK. " Because you see it ? "
MOYSE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " Silly. What about the stars ? "
MOISE. " You are right ! I understand now ! "
SPOOK. " Time is an artificial division. All time is one.
Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " I know."
SPOOK. " Past, present, and future all co-exist."
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " You do not know all the past-why ? Because
you have not yet discovered the-there is no word for it-
call it the 'telechronistic ray.' You do not know all the
future, for the same reason. Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " Give further explanation, please."
SPOOK. " As you have seen, light rays and sound rays
can preserve the past for your ears and eyes.
The mathematical sense can know the future. In the same way the
telechronistic rays preserve both the past and the future, for
those who can develop the faculty to get into touch with the
rays. This is what I am aiming at with the mediums.
Tonight I shall test them. They will trance-talk
if I am successful, and the simple food and solitude have had the desired
effect. It must be done after dark. You must not interrupt
or touch the mediums. The unfortunate thing is that as
regards the past it is always possible for what you call a
spirit to interpose between the mediums and the ray, like
a man standing between you and a candle ; but as regards the
future, it is harder to interfere because the future ray is
strong, and single, and distant like the sun. Do you understand ? "
MOISE. " Not understood."
SPOOK. " The future is a complete whole, a single blaze.
It is all existing now, but it exists for you as an undivided
entity. The past, however, exists for you as a series of small
telechronistic rays. If I tried to show you a particular event
in the past, it being a small event like the candle, it would be
easy for 000 to interpose between you and the beam,
especially if he knows the particular candle I want to show,
Now, do you understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " Do not touch the mediums or interrupt."
MOISE. " No, I will not."
SPOOK. " Be in the dark. Take down carefully
everything they say. Then come back to me after they have
recovered. Also note : it will not be me talking through the
mediums ; it will be the mediums themselves interpreting the
ray. Au revoir, until after dark."
MOISE. " May we have a lamp ? "
SPOOK. (angrily). " No ! "
MOISE. " How can I write ? "
SPOOK. " Make a small beam of light-a-small-beam
-of-light."
MOISE. " Yes. How?"
SPOOK (angrily). "Do it! Or I will not help. Blow
your own nose ! Don't worry me with trifles!"
MOISE. " A candle covered with paper ? "
SPOOK (interrupting angrily). " In a tin, in a tin ! "
Lest he should make any mistake over the " beam of light "
Moise decided to write in the dark. He sat at a table at one
side of the room, while Hill and I sat at the other side. For
some time there was dead silence. Then Hill and I began to
grunt, and make strange noises in unison. The noises changed
gradually from grunts to groans, and from groans to guttural
sounds, thence to some unknown tongue, and finally into
English. When we had practised together in private (it took
a lot of practice to get grunt-and-groan perfect) we had never
been able to proceed very far without laughing. Indeed it
was the most ridiculous farmyard concert that mortal man ever
listened to, and Hill had objected that we ran a great risk of
laughing or being laughed at and spoiling everything. But
what is ridiculous in daylight may be intensely eerie in the
dark. And so it proved. The unhappy Pimple nearly
fainted with fright, but he stuck to his post and his
note-taking with a courage that roused our unwilling admiration.
He showed us his notes afterwards-the paper was wet from
the clamminess of his hands, and the writing showed clear
traces of his jumpiness.
We pretended to be describing a scene before our eyes.
We were following a man who carried a letter. We described
how the messenger passed through a door into a garden. He
had great difficulty in closing the door, for something was
wrong with the latch. We followed him through the garden-
past the trees and flowers and well, all of which we described-
into a house with a curious window that stood out four-square
to the right of the door. Thence up the steps, inside, through
a small hall, up a staircase and into a bedroom, detailing the
furniture and the pictures as we passed each article. We gave
a minute description of the bedroom, the red carpet, the two
ottomans, the position of the bed and the cupboard, and we
were much struck by the enormous footstool on the right of
the door, the wicker bag on the floor near the bed, and the
sword on the wall between two pictures. The messenger gave
the letter to someone on the bed, whom we could not see
clearly. We heard him call, and a lady came in-a lady with
very beautiful hands. They went out together, carrying a
lantern. Another man joined them, with pick and shovel.
Then everything turned black. There was a pause in the
trance-talk for perhaps a minute. Then we cried out that we
saw the group again. They had been digging. We could see
the hole by the lamplight. They were pulling things out of the
hole-boxes they looked like! Yes, boxes! The man with
the pick raised it above his head and smashed open a box, and
-"Gold! Gold! Gold!" (so loud and so suddeenly did we
shout together that the Pimple leapt to his feet). Then
blackness again, and a reversal of the opening proceedings-
we lapsed first into the unknown tongue, and thence through
the guttural sounds to the groans and the little farmyard
grunts with which we had begun. A few minutes' silence, and
Hill spoke in his natural voice :-
" I am afraid it's no good ! " he said, " nothing is going
to happen."
The Pimple struck a match with shaking fingers, and lit
the lamp.
" Something has happened," he said, " you've both been
in a trance. It was terrible ! "
" Have we ? " said I, and looked as dazed as I could.
(It is easy to look dazed in a sudden glare of light.) " I feel
just as usual, only very, very tired."
At the Pimple's request we got out the spook-board, and
he read over the record to the Spook.
" That was the future," the glass explained ; " did you
recognize the picture, Moise ? "
MOISE. " No, Sir."
SPOOK. " Stupid ! What did they find ? Who were
they ? What was the house ? Don't be silly ! You know
it well. Read it again ! "
(Moise re-read the record.)
MOISE (in excitement). " Yes, Sir! I recognize it now.
May I tell the mediums what the picture was ? "
SPOOK. "Yes. Then no more to-night. Mediums are
much improved, but this strains them."
MOISE. " Good night, Sir. And many thanks."
Turning to Hill and myself, Moise explained that in our
trance-talk we had given a perfect description of the
Commandant's house. He was half crazed with excitement and
nervous strain. It was " wonderful," " marvellous,"
" undoubted clairvoyance." He congratulated us " from the base
of his heart." It was a " beautiful word-picture." It was
more-a " word-photograph "-and of a house we had
never seen! It beat the photograph incident in Raymond
(Moise, by the Spook's orders, had just finished translating
Raymond to the Commandant), " for it was much more
detailed." He believed we were greater spiritualists than Sir
Oliver Lodge. " Was it so ? " " Was it not so ? "
" Oh no, Moise," said Hill. " We are only mediums. He
is in your position, you know-an investigator and recorder.
But I suppose it is not unlike the photograph incident, as you
say."
" It is better-far better," said the Pimple.
I believe it was better. Only it spoils a conjuring trick
or a psychical phenomenon to explain how it is done, and
unfortunately I have already told the reader how Doc.
O'Farrell described Kiazim's house to me. So the photograph
incident in Raymond will remain a " marvel." while our
word picture is simply a fraud.
CHAPTER XVII
HOW THE SPOOK TOOK US TREASURE-HUNTING AND WE
PHOTOGRAPHED THE TURKISH COMMANDANT
FOR the past fortnight Hill and I had known that a number
of new prisoners were coming to Yozgad-44 officers
and 25 men. These were the " Kastamouni Incorrigibles."
After the escape by Keeling, Tipton, Sweet, and Bishop from
Kastamouni in 1917, their comrades of Kastamouni Camp
had been badly " strafed." The whole camp was moved to
Changri, where it was housed in the vilest conditions imaginable.
(The curious will find a description in " 450 Miles to Freedom.")
In despair a number of officers gave the Turks their
parole not to escape, in order to get reasonable quarters.
The Turks accepted the parole and sent these to Gedos.
Then Johnny Turk began to wonder why the rest would not
give parole, and very naturally concluded they must be
intending to escape. The safest place in Turkey for restless
gentlemen of this description was Yozgad, in the heart of
Anatolia. So to Yozgad they were sent.
But at Yozgad the accommodation for prisoners was very
limited. To make room for all 44 incorrigibles the Turkish
War Office decided to send 20 of the Yozgad officers to Afion
Kara Hissar. As soon as this order arrived, Moise came
across and told us about it. The Commandant wanted the
Spook to tell him which of the officers at present in Yozgad
he should send away. Here was a great opportunity. It
would have been the easiest thing in the world for us to send
any twenty men we chose to select. We were much tempted
to despatch to Afion the score whom we considered to be most
vehemently opposed to all plans of escape. But we held our
hand. We advised Moise that we thought it wiser not to
trouble the Spook with details, as the treasure business was
sufficient worry at present. The Spook had several times
told us to do as much as possible for ourselves.
Accordingly the camp was informed of the order in the
usual way, but when we heard the result we were rather sorry
we had not exercised our option. Moise told us that the
Commandant, in answer to enquiries, had said that Yozgad
camp was in every way preferable to Afion. (As a matter of
fact it was not.) In Yozgad, he said, food was cheaper, the
climate better and the housing much superior. Result:
those officers who had at first been tempted by the idea of a
change refused to budge. Indeed, practically nobody wanted
to go, for what with the Hunt Club and the Ski dinner speech,
and one thing and another, Yozgad prospects looking decidedly
rosy for the summer. So, to a diapason of grousing by the
victims, the fiat went forth that the twenty juniors officers
should pack up, and our Senior Officer did Hill and myself the
honour of telling Kiazim Bey that, as we were not only junior
but also " the black sheep " of the camp, it would be distinctly
advisable to include us in the twenty. (That " black sheep
phrase hurt a little-we had never done anybody any harm-
but it amused the Turks.) Kiazim, who wanted his treasure,
refused to move us. Amid much grumbling, the twenty made
their preparations for departure.
On the 26th March, at 6 p.m. Moise brought the matter up
in his "report." " I have some news for you, Sir," he said to
the board. " We have got the order for twenty officers to
leave for Afion. Their names have been put down. You see
we are trying to blow our own noses." (Moise had got it
into his head that this was an English idiom meaning to be
self-reliant.) " But perhaps you can give us some good
suggestions as you usually do. I told Colonel Maule we
could not move the mediums when he asked about them."
" Quite right," said the Spook, " that is all as I arranged
it. But I want one small addition. I want Maule to be told
that the Superior would like to be rid of these two officers,
and that he would send them away if he could, but he must
await orders from Constantinople, to whom a report of the
trial has been sent." (The report was dictated by the
Spook and sent to the Turkish War Office on the 18th
March.) " This will explain why the Superior does not seize
the opportunity to get rid of them. It will also explain matters
if Constantinople wires to send these two away, as it may do.
Do not be alarmed at that possibility. It will be all my doing,
and I know what I am doing."
The object of this was to keep open the possibility of our
travelling with the Afion party for part of the way. We hoped
that by the time they were ready to start, Kiazim would have
been persuaded by us that the treasure could best be found by
sending us to the Mediterranean coast. From Yozgad to
Angora was 120 miles, and transport was scarce. So we
intended to avail ourselves of the government carts provided
for the Afion party if Kiazim agreed to move us.
The Turks were now like children in the Hampton Court
maze when a fog has come down. They were properly lost in
our labyrinth, and appealed to the Spook to tell them what
was happening. That capable and inventive gentleman rose
to the occasion, and gave them a resume of the position. The
best chance of finding the treasure quickly, the Spook said,
had been when 000 had offered to point it out if we could
prove our friendship to him. The Pimple had spoiled that
chance by his ignorance of Armenian. Indeed, he had done
worse than spoil it-he had thrown 000 into active
opposition, and though 000 himself was not much to be feared,
being a comparatively young and inexperienced spirit, a
company had now been formed to help him, which contained
some of the best-known organizers in the spirit-world.
(Amongst them was Napoleon Buonaparte.)
There remained, the Spook continued, three other plans for
finding the treasure. Of these the first was to find out
everything from Yozgad through the holders of the three clues
-KKK, YYY and AAA. This again the Pimple hhad nearly
-though not quite-spoiled by inadvertentlyy strengthening
the opposition. Fortunately KKK and YYY were dead, and
as they were keenly interested in helping to tear aside the
partition between this world and the next, our Spook had been
able to persuade them to assist in the search, and they were
prepared, as scientific investigators, to try and show themselves
and make themselves heard to the mediums. Success with
them would depend on whether or not the starvation diet had
rendered the mediums sufficiently clairvoyant and clair-
audient. There remained the holder of the third clue-
AAA. AAA being still alive-we learned that he was a
business man in Constantinople, whose work frequently took
him to Adalia, Tarsus, Alexandretta, and Damascus-was
likely to be our chief difficulty, because his mind must be
read by telepathy and he was so far away that his thought-
waves would be weak, so the opposition might succeed in
blocking them. Still, we would try, and must hope for
success.
But, the Spook warned us, the trance-talk has pointed to
the fact that this plan would not succeed in its entirety, and
that the treasure would be found by one of two other plans
which were being held in reserve. Both these plans involved
moving the mediums nearer to AAA-nearer, that is to say,
to Constantinople, Adalia, Tarsus, Alexandretta or Damascus,
according as AAA might be in one or the other.
"The details of these two plans," said the Spook, " I
do not want to tell at present, because 000 has now got
control over a medium in Yozgad
(A most unfortunate explanation, as events proved); and as you humans
cannot control your thoughts it is unwise to tell you, lest that
medium and 000 succeed in reading the plan that is in your
minds. They could then interfere with it."
To our delight, the Turks took the news that we might
have to leave Yozgad with the utmost nonchalance. They
realized that the Spook was doing his utmost to find the
treasure without moving us, and in their hearts they were
pretty confident he would succeed. Therefore they regarded
the move as unlikely-and forgot all about it for the time
being, by reason of the other things we provided to occupy
their attention. For, having mentioned the move, we at once
turned their attention away from it by bringing forward KKK.
KKK proved to be a most friendly spirit. Speaking
through our own Spook he offered to conduct us next day to
the spot where his clue was buried. But he laid down certain
conditions
Conditions laid down by Secret object of the conditions.
KKK.
1. Only those who are
present at the digging up of
the clue will be allowed to
share in the treasure.
NOTE.-The Commandant
kicked very hard against this
condition, because he was afraid
of being seen in the company of
the mediums, but KKK was
adamant and Kiazim finally gave
way.
1. To get Kiazim out
and enable us to photograph him.
2. The mediums are to be
prepared to carry out the
treasure-test of the Head
hunting Waas. If that fails,
Jones is authorized to try
the secret Blood-test of the
Red Karens.
2. To enable me to pose
the Turks for Hill to photograph
them. If the first pose
was unsuccessful, the Red
Karens' test gave the
opportunity for a second pose.
3. The Turks must not
speak a single word unless
spoken to by the mediums.
3. To prevent the Turks
from drawing each other's
attention to any suspicious
incident.
4. Mediums are to wear
black.
4. We had black water-
proof capes. Hill found the
folds useful for concealing
the camera.
5. Mediums are not to be
touched at any time after
KKK has appeared.
§. To ensure that Hill
should not be interfered
with when using the
camera.
6. Mediums must hold
hands when following KKK.
6. To enable us to signal
to one another without the
Turks seeing it.
7. One, or both, of the
mediums may collapse under
the strain. If they do, leave
them quite alone. Do not
touch them, or speak to
them, or even think of them
without orders. Leave them
alone and they will recover.
7. To enable Hill to get
away from the rest of us
for the half dozen paces at
which he was prepared to
take the photograph, and to
keep the attention of the
Turks off Hill.
8. All to carry sticks
and waterbottles. Cook to
carry a pick and spade under
his coat. Moise to carry
the following articles
carefully hidden about his
person: scissors, knife, adze,
waterbottle, matches,
firewood, rags soaked in
kerosine, bread, and a clean
white handkerchief.
8. The articles were
mostly camouflage, but some
(the bread and water in
particular), were intended to
form a precedent for the
time when the Spook would
arrange our final escape.
9. " Obedience! Obedience!
Obedience!"
9. A general precaution.
"The clue," the Spook warned us, " was very clever. The
casual person on opening it would think he had found nothing
and throw it down where he found it. If the finder happened
to look further, he would find something to cause him surprise
and a puzzle to make him talk. When 000 buried the
treasure he hoped if this happened the talk would reach the
ears of his heir. Therefore, do not be disappointed when at
first you find nothing but an emblem of death. Go on looking
carefully. The clue itself will puzzle you, but what one man
can invent another man can understand."
That night Hill gave me a final exhibition of his
extraordinary palming, and I went to bed with renewed confidence
in his skill. To-morrow would settle our hash one way or
another-we would get that photograph or be found out and
take the consequences, whatever they might be.
To our disgust the 27th March turned out a dull, misty
day, with some rain, quite hopeless for photography. The
Spook informed Pimple that KKK would find it difficult
to appear in mist, as he was pretty misty himself to human
eyes, even under the best conditions, and advised postponement.
The Pimple cordially agreed that it would be practically
impossible to see a spook on such ,a day.
Next day, the 28th March, was overcast and stormy, with
rain and a high wind which would prevent Hill from managing
his cloak properly, and we again postponed by mutual
consent.
At 9 a.m. Of 29th March, Moise came to us in some excitement.
There was trouble afoot. The Commandant and the
Cook-the Major of Turkish Artillery and his orderly-had
" quarrelled " ! The Commandant had ordered the Cook to
go to Angora (120 miles away) " to fetch some stores." At
first he had ordered him to go to-day, and then postponed
until to-morrow: the Cook had seen through the motive of
this order. He knew that Kiazim wanted to prevent him
from attending the digging up of the first clue, in order to
make him forfeit his share in the treasure. So the Cook had
flatly refused to go-had mutinied ! If Kiazim dared to
punish him, he would " blow the gaff " about the treasure-hunt.
The Cook was a man-and won. Kiazim gave way.
I find a note in my diary. It reads : " Considering that,
as yet, nothing has been found, things are pretty warm."
The diary goes on
" 3oth March.-Another bad day. Hail and sleet. The
starvation diet has brought our belts in a couple of inches, and
makes us feel very floppy and weak, but otherwise we are all
right. Our pulses jump from 56 to 84, with extraordinary
variations."
We decided that next day, be it wet or fine, we must find
the first clue. The 31st March promised well. The sun
shone brightly and there was little wind. The Pimple was
summoned, and the Spook made him repeat his instructions
for the search, in order to make sure that he thoroughly
understood everything ; then orders were issued for the
Commandant and the Cook to be ready at noon. While
Moise was away instructing his two confederates, Hill and I
secretly semaphored to Matthews in Posh Castle. We
warned him that Kiazim was joining us in a treasure-hunt,
and told him to watch South hill, and get a few of our friends
to do the same. For the spot where Hill had buried the first
clue, two months ago, was carefully chosen so as to be in full
view of the Camp, and we hoped our friends would be able to
recognize the Commandant at the distance. Their recognition
would be subsidiary evidence, should the photograph fail.
At noon we met in the graveyard, outside the town. (There
is nothing like an appropriate background for a spook-chase.)
Hill and I held hands, and after a while went into a trance,
and simultaneously saw KKK sitting on a gravestone. We
chatted with him, the Turks listening eagerly, and then
followed his lead up the hill. The procedure was very similar
to the revolver-hunt of six months before. About half-way
up the hill, in order to test the Turks, we both " collapsed "
together. Our friends obeyed instructions. They turned
their backs on us and sat down, carefully refraining from even
a glance in our direction. We groaned, and moaned, and
made weird noises to see if they would turn round, but they
paid no attention. All was well, so we " recovered " and went
on. Unfortunately, the weather was again our worst enemy.
The promise of the morning had not been fulfilled ; the sun
was now hidden behind a heavy bank of cloud which grew
momentarily darker. A slight drizzle began to fall.
" Can't snap 'em in this," Hill whispered ; " keep 'em
still."
I squeezed his hand to show I understood. A moment
later Hill signalled that we had reached the spot, and
" collapsed." I left him where he fell, staggered six paces to
the left as arranged, and called loudly to the Turks that the
Spook was demanding the Waa test. They hurried past Hill
without a glance at him and took up the positions I assigned,
the Commandant on my right, and the Cook and Interpreter
on my left. I began building the fire, carrying on an
animated conversation with the Spook as I did so, and to my
consternation plainly heard the click of Hill's camera. He
had taken the first photo before I was quite ready. Hastily
I put a match to the fire, and stood up.
" Watch the fire ! " I cried. " For your lives do not move
an eyelid. Be still, and watch the fire for a little bird."
Then I stretched my hands above my head and began the
incantation, speaking loudly to drown the noise of the shutter.
My arrangement with Hill was that I should go on reciting
Welsh poetry until he got on his feet, which would be the
signal that the camera was safely back in his pocket. I
heard a second click while I was still in the middle of the first
verse of " Bugeilio'r Gwenith Gwyn " and then I heard nothing
more. I seemed to go on reciting for ages, and wondered what
was up, and why the third click was so long in coming. I had
finished a favourite Welsh lullaby and was plunging
desperately into a Burmese serenade by way of variety when I
noticed Hill was on his feet, standing quietly behind the
Pimple. He gave an almost imperceptible nod as he caught
my eye, and I broke off.
" The bird ! " I shouted.
" The bird ! " yelled Hill.
We both pointed to a neighbouring stone, and the Turks,
who had remained motionless throughout the incantation,
were galvanized into life again. Curiously enough, nobody
had noticed the bird except Hill and myself ! We had both
distinctly seen it settle close beside the stone before it
disappeared into thin air.
The Cook began to dig where we said the bird had settled.
He dug with such vehemence that he broke his spade.
Nothing daunted he fell to with the adze, and in due course he
brought to light a tin can, about four inches long, carefully
soldered at the ends and somewhat rusted.
" Spread the clean white handkerchief." The Turks fully
understood that it was not I who spoke, but the Spook
through me.
Moise obeyed.
" Now open the receptacle and empty it on to the handkerchief."
As Moise was forcing off the lid of the tin with his knife,
Hill and I drank in the scene. The Commandant's dark eyes
were ablaze in a face as pale as death. The Cook, all wet
with the sweat of his digging, bending forward with a hand on
either knee, looked like savage greed personified. The Pimple
could hardly master the excited trembling of his hands.
His knife slipped and he cut himself.
" Ha ! " said the Spook, " that is good ! Blood is drawn,
and now no more need be shed."
The lid came off, and the Pimple shook out
into the handkerchief-a little heap of ashes.
" The emblem of death, as promised," said the Spook.
" Is the tin empty ? "
The Pimple looked inside, thrust in his fingers and felt
carefully round.
" There is nothing," he said.
" Then if that is all," said the Spook, " you may throw
it away."
Moise threw the tin down the hillside. All the light died
out of Kiazim's eyes, the unhappy Cook opened his mouth to
say something, but remembered the orders for silence in time,
and stood with his mouth agape. Moise was on the verge of
tears.
" Ha ! ha ! ha ! " said the Spook. " I said a casual person
would throw it away ! Cook ! Are you more careful than
Moise ? "
" Evvet! " (Yes) said the Cook, shutting his mouth like
a rat-trap. Once more he was all eagerness.
" Then examine it, Cook! "
The Cook ran down the hill, picked up the tin, and after a
short examination discovered that it contained a false bottom.
But he was still under the ban of silence. The pantomime he
went through in trying to convey his discovery to the others
was almost too much for our solemnity. He poked a dirty
finger alternately into the Commandant's side and into the
tin, dancing round him the while so that poor Kiazim, who
did not understand what he had found, must have thought the
fellow stark, staring mad. The Pimple pranced about beside
the Cook, trying vainly to see into the tin.
He told us afterwards that he thought the Spook had " materialized " a clue
at the last moment and put it into the tin. Hill and I would
have given a month's pay for freedom to laugh. He signalled
to me to cut the performance short, lest he should give way.
" Take your scissors," cried the Spook, " and open it."
The Pimple hewed at the tin with his very blunt scissors.
In his excitement he cut himself again-to the delight of the
Spook-but finally got the false bottom opened. It concealed
a Turkish gold lira, wrapped in paper, and the inner layer of
paper bore a circle of beautifully written Armenian characters
arranged clockwise.
" Now you may talk," said the Spook.
And talk those Turks did-all together and across each
other. For five minutes they made as much noise as a
rookery in nesting-time. The Commandant shook hands with
each of us several times over. The Pimple was ecstatic. The
Cook gave me the fright of my life by trying to kiss. me, which
made Hill choke suddenly and turn his back. A little way
down the hill a group of Yozgad inhabitants were watching
in open-mouthed astonishment. The Spook came to the
rescue and ordered us all home.
On the way back, the Cook, who was a native of Yozgad,
informed us that we were undoubtedly on the track of the
right treasure, and 000 must be the man we thought,
because the spot on which the first clue was found was on the
land of the deceased Armenian whose wealth we were seeking.
Here was another coincidence!
The Spook's last instructions before he bade us good-bye
were for the safety of the mediums. He warned us that
000 would probably make an attempt on our lives that
evening. No one, not even the Commandant himself, was to
be allowed to enter between dark and dawn, lest 000 should
" control " the visitor into murdering us. We were to be left
absolutely alone, so that our Spook might watch over us
without any distraction.
Kiazim Bey rose to the occasion. He doubled the sentries
round our house. He even prohibited the nightly visit of the
Onbashi for roll-call.
Thus we secured a quiet evening safe from interruption.
Had Kiazim been able to see into our house about 10 p.m. he
might have wondered what was afoot. Hill was locked up
inside a cupboard in a well-darkened room. I was in the
room we usually occupied, pacing up and down in an agony
of impatience and doubt, and ready to intercept any unlikely
visitor. Much depended on the next few minutes.
At length Hill came out. He carried in his hand a roll of
newly-developed V.P. Kodak films, and without saying
anything held it up between me and the light. I saw three
excellent pictures of the treasure-hunt.
" They are a bit over-exposed," Hill grumbled-he is
never wholly satisfied with his own performances---" I gave
them too long."
Maybe ! But it says something for the nerve of the man
that he had held the camera without a quiver for three
time exposures under those conditions. I could see nothing
wrong with the negatives. They were everything I desired,
and Bimbashi Kiazim Bey, Commandant of Yozgad, was
clearly recognizable in each.
At last we had our proof.
CHAPTER XVIII
OF A "DREADFUL EXPLOSION" AND HOW 000 SOUGHT TO
MURDER US
WE had long since decided that the most appropriate
date for finding the second (and last) of the two
clues we had made, would be the First of April. Hill had
buried it, he told me, some four miles away on the bank of a
gully beyond the Pinewoods, known to the camp as " Bones's
Nullah." The photographs being already taken, we had no
troubles to contend with, or fears of discovery to disturb us,
and we set out next day in true April-fooling spirit. As we
walked through the town in our black cloaks, we passed
Lieutenant Taylor, R.E., who was inside a shop making
purchases for the camp larder. Taylor was one of two officers
in the camp who definitely knew from Nightingale that the
spooking was a fraud. He was also a fellow-townsman of
mine, and a very good friend. He saw the water-bottles and
haversacks we carried, and jumped to the conclusion that we
were being sent away from Yozgad. Like the good fellow he
was, he took no thought of himself, and paid no heed to the
Commandant's order that no one was to communicate with
us. Brushing aside his escort he ran into the middle of the
street and shouted after us to know where we were being taken.
" It is April Fools' Day," I whispered to Moise, " I'm
going to pull his leg." Then, turning round, I shouted back
the one word " Sivas " (the name of a distant town in Anatolia).
" I'll. write home to your people," Taylor roared ; " you
keep alive and we'll get you out. We'll report the blighters
to Headquarters." He knew the Pimple must understand
him, and braved the wrath of the Turks to cheer us up.
" He's a good fellow," Hill whispered, " tell him it's all
right."
But before I could speak, the Pimple broke in. Taylor's
threat to cause trouble had alarmed him.
" April Fool ! " the Pimple shouted. " It is a joke. We
are going for a walk."
Taylor shook his fist at us playfully, and turned back into
the shop.
For the next mile the Pimple, Hill, and I chatted of the old
British custom of April-fooling. The Pimple translated to
the Cook, who was much interested, but neither of them
thought of applying the knowledge thus acquired to his own
case.
The treasure-hunt began about 20 minutes' walk outside
the town. There were slight variations from the previous
day. YYY allowed the Turks to talk. He did not at first
appear to our vision like KKK, but was able to make himself
heard. We were clairaudient instead of clairvoyant.
About half-way to Bones's Nullah, my injured knee began
to trouble me. Also we were both suffering from the effects
of our starvation, and felt very weak. But we did not want
to tell the Turks of our distress. Luckily, we came to a
stream of running water, and an old superstition came into
my head.
" Sit down," said the Spook, " and wait. I cannot cross
running water. I must go round the source."
Whilst we waited (and incidentally rested) the Cook told
us that what the Spook said about running water was
a well known fact in Turkey, and cited instances. In reply I quoted
the immortal bard--
" Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg,
And win the keystane of the brig
There at them thou thy tail may toss
A running stream they darena' cross."
And so we chatted until YYY's voice from the other side of
the stream (only Hill and I heard it, of course) bade us come
on.
The remainder of our journey was a repetition of the
previous day's, save that no photograph was taken ; and when
the tin box containing a second lira and another paper of
cryptic instructions was unearthed, we failed to escape the
gratitude of the cook. He went on his knees, kissed our
hands, and made a most fervent speech. (The Pimple
translated.) He assured us that our names would never die
in Turkey, and that his grandchildren's grandchildren would
call down blessings on the heads of Jones and Heel Effendi.
We hope they will-it can't do us any harm.
All the way back the Turks babbled about the treasure.
Two of the three clues were now found. The Spook was
rapidly fulfilling his promises. All honour to the Spook, to
YYY, and to KKK. We must thank them! When we got
back to our prison the spook-board was produced, and the
Pimple thanked all concerned with great solemnity, and
asked for further orders.
The Spook warned us that another attempt might be made
on our lives that night. (On the night of the 31st March
OOO had tried, but failed to do anything.)
MOISE. " May the mediums have extra food to-night ?
They are very hungry."
SPOOK. " Better not.Drink, if they like."
MOISE. " They would like soup. Do you include soup
in drink ? "
SPOOK. " No ! No ! Not soup ! Wine or spirits."
MOISE. " Are they allowed to go to bed ? "
SPOOK. " Let them amuse themselves, and keep a light
burning till after midnight. I order wine to keep their
courage up. They may be sorely tried, but let them have
faith and courage."
The Commandant doubled our sentries again, and sent us
a bottle of the best wine we had tasted since the war began,
and a flagon of superlative raki. He was delighted with our
success. He sent word that a cipher telegram had just been
received from the Turkish War Office ordering him to release
us from solitary confinement and send us back to the camp,
but he would not bother the Spook with it until next day and
certainly would not execute it until he had consulted our
Control. He thanked us for finding the second clue, and
begged us to keep our courage up whatever 000 might
attempt that night.
Hill and I settled down to discuss our future plans and
celebrate our past success. We allowed ourselves a couple of
baked potatoes each, by way of foundation for the wine, and
had a most cheerful evening.
The Pimple appeared at dawn on the 2nd of April with an
anxious face. The sentries had reported strange noises in the
house during the night, and he was sure 000 had made
another attempt on our lives. We told him that 000 had
made a perfect nuisance of himself until well past midnight.
Doors had banged, windows had rattled and footsteps had
echoed through the house. Strange voices had sung weird
songs. Several times 000 had come within an ace of
" controlling " us, but our Spook had come to the rescue.
The strain had been terrible.
" You have no evil effects, I hope ? " the Pimple asked.
" Only a slight headache," we said together.
The Pimple congratulated us on being still alive, and
escaping so lightly. It did not occur to him that 000 was
not the spirit on whom our sore head could justly be blamed.
Then he asked if he might consult the Spook about the
War Office telegram ordering our release. The explanation of
the wire turned out to be simple enough to a true believer.
" You remember," said the Spook, " how I said I might
cause Constantinople to send a telegram. Well,
I had everything ready. Their minds were prepared to send
a wire as soon as I put it into their heads what to say.
000
got wind of our intention through his medium, who must have
picked up your thought-waves."
MOISE (aside). " Who is this damned fellow ? "
SPOOK. " It is X " (naming a friend of ours in the camp).
" 000 got this wire sent because he was able to use the
ground previously prepared by me. Do you understand?
"
MOISE. " Yes, Sir. We understand."
SPOOK. " 000 is determined to stop us finding the
treasure. He hoped the wire would arrive in time to stop the
search for the first clue, because he thought if the Commandant
got this wire before anything had been found he would not
believe in me, and being frightened, would send the mediums
back to the camp."
The Pimple was much impressed by the cunning of 000.
He agreed that had the telegram arrived before the finding
of the clues, Kiazim Bey would have been frightened out of
his wits. It was, of course, obvious that our Control had
delayed the delivery of the telegram for three days ! As
things stood, with two out of three clues already discovered,
Kiazim would not dream of putting an end to our solitary
confinement : he fully trusted our Spook to keep the War
Office in order.
The Turks were now entirely in our hands.
Their confidence in the Spook was absolute. They had reached the high-
water mark of faith, and we determined to rush things
through on the full tide of their credulity. For there was no
more " planted treasure " to be dug up, nor could we hope
to increase the trust in us which they already showed, so there
was no sense in delay.
But their offer to keep us locked up, though satisfactory
as a proof of their faith, did not quite fit in with our plans.
Our first object was to get into touch with somebody in the
camp, and give him the negatives and other proofs of Kiazim's
complicity. Not until then would we be free to go ahead with
our two alternative plans, which, as had already been explained,
were either to get Kiazim to send us somewhere whence escape
would be easy or, failing that, to sham madness in the hope
of being exchanged. At the same time, while gaining access
to one man in the camp, we desired to maintain our splendid
isolation so as to enable us to spook at high pressure without
fear of interruption from our brother officers ; for once we had
handed over our proofs we intended to rush the Turks off their
legs, while they were still ecstatic over the finding of the two
clues.
The contingency had already been foreseen and prepared
for before we were locked up, and we got rid of our proofs
easily enough. It was done thus.
The Spook thanked the Commandant for his trust and
his readiness to disobey the War Office. But to make the
disobedience doubly safe, the responsibility for our continued
confinement should be transferred on to the shoulders of our
fellow-prisoners. With this end in view the Spook announced
he had placed Doc. O'Farrell" under control." Let Moise go
to the Doc. and say the mediums want some quinine; the
proof that the Spook was in control would be that Doc. would
refuse to give any medicine without first seeing his patients.
Moise was to object a little at first, but in the end he should
permit the visit. " If I am successful," the Spook said,
" the doctor will be very uneasy about his patients after his
visit. He will go home and consult his text books. Then
he will ask the Commandant's permission to keep them under
medical observation, and will suggest that they be not
permitted walks or access to the other prisoners until
he is satisfied about their health. The Commandant can then produce
the telegram and say, 'Orders have just come for their release.
I was just going to tell them.' The doctor, speaking
under my control, will advise him not to tell them just at
present, but to keep them locked up, to which the Commandant
will agree. In this way the Commandant will be
free from all blame for their continued imprisonment."
The Pimple thought the plan excellent, and at once put it
into execution. He asked the doctor for some quinine. As
previously arranged, Doc. refused to give it without seeing
us. The Pimple, much delighted at finding the control so
perfect, brought him over to us. While the doctor was
examining our tongues and feeling our pulses, Hill slipped into
his pocket a small packet containing-
(i) A complete copy of the Pimple's records of the seances.
(2) A brief explanation of our plans, and a note telling the
Doc. what advice we wished him to give the Commandant,
and why.
(3) The negatives of the treasure-hunt.
(4) The camera, to be returned to its owner (Lieutenant
Wright).
The Pimple and the Doc. left our room together. Ten
minutes later the Pimple came back. He told us the Spook
had succeeded partially, but not wholly. The doctor had
obviously been under control, for his hands were very cold,
his face pale, and his voice a trifle shaky. (So they were-
from excitement. He knew something was in the wind.)
But outside, instead of recommending our seclusion, he had
recommended walks, as we looked pale!
Hill and I knew what had happened-Doc. had given his
orders for walks off-hand, before reading our instructions.
Moise explained that no doubt the Spook would put things
right later, for the doctor had said at parting that he would
visit us again, as he had forgotten to bring his thermometer.
We turned again to the spook-board.
" There were several reasons why I did not do everything
at once," said the Spook. " First, my motto is 'Yawash,
yawash ' (slowly, slowly). Second, I needed all my force for
the doctor and could spare none to instruct the mediums how
to answer his questions. Third, you-Moise-ought to have
remembered that the doctor was under control. You were
so interested that your thoughts interfered with me. Try to
keep your mind a blank next time."
The Pimple decided that, to make sure of not interfering,
he had better stay away when the doctor visited us in future.
This he did. Naturally, under these conditions it was easier
to explain things to the Doc. ; his preliminary mistake was
soon rectified, and he took the responsibility for keeping us in
prison.
From the 2nd of April until the 5th (when the Spook
allowed Kiazim to make it known that our solitary
imprisonment was ended) we had seances night and day. Indeed
from now until we left Yozgad on April 26th we gave the
Turks no rest, and I doubt if any Government business was
done by the Commandant, Cook, or Interpreter except by
the order of the Spook.
The Commandant asked the Spook, before going on to
the third clue, to assist in interpreting the two clues already
found. Although the Turks had obtained a couple of
Armenian dictionaries, the clock-face arrangement of the letters in
the first clue foiled their efforts, for they could not tell where
the message began and therefore could not use the dictionaries.
Further, Armenian has three distinct forms of type,
and the two dictionaries in the Commandant's possession
differed both from one another and from the writing of the
clue, which was in capitals.
It would have been easy enough for the Spook to say
straight out that the clue consisted of two Armenian words
meaning " South " and " West," and as we were in a hurry to
get on to the more important task of persuading Kiazim to give
us a free trip to the coast, we resented delay. But straightforward
answers are not indulged in by Spooks.
The Commandant had studied Raymond and knew this. Spooks
enjoy puzzling and teasing people over trifles-Sir Oliver
Lodge says so-and the other thing is simply " not done " in
the spook-world. The simplest answer to the simplest
question must be " wrapped in mystery." The Turks expected
mystery, and they got it. Perhaps we were gilding refined
gold, but it is such caution and attention to detail that make
the difference between the " genuine medium " and the
" vulgar fraud." The reader must not forget that we belonged to
the former category, and had to maintain its high standard.
In answer to the appeal for assistance the Spook sent
Moise to fetch a dictionary. He came back with two, and
found us starting our lunch of dry toast and tea. He did not
notice that it was an hour before our usual lunch-time, but sat
chatting with us while we ate. I picked up the two
dictionaries, glanced at them one after the other in a casual way,
and set them down again with the remark that the characters
looked like a mixture between Russian and Greek. Then we
chatted of cabbages and kings till the last piece of toast was
eaten, when we returned to the spook-board.
" Now," said the Spook, " take a dictionary, Moise."
Moise picked up one of the books and held it out to the
spook-board.
" Page 792," said the Spook.
" Got it," Moise answered.
" Oh," the glass wrote, " if you've got it, you don't require
my help any more."
" I mean I have got the page."
" Well, say what you mean ! Put your finger on the top
left-hand corner." (Moise obeyed.) " More to the right ! "
(Moise obeyed.) " There ! You are touching the first three
letters of the first word. Now find out ! "
(Here followed a valiant effort by Moise to puzzle it out,
but as the type was so different from the writing he failed.)
" Does it mean 'droit' ? " he asked.
" No ! Ha! Ha! Ha!" (The glass was laughing.)
" Write down a number."
Moise wrote down 473-
" Add 810 to it and look it up." (Moise took up the same
dictionary.) " No, the other book ! "
Moise looked up page 1283 in the second dictionary and
found a similar word.
" Does it mean this ? " he asked, pointing to the word
" South."
" Yes, of course," came the answer. " Now I will number
the letters of the second word for you. Begin-1, 32."
(Moise began looking up page 132.) " Foolish! Read what
I said. That is the page. I am not numbering the page, but
the letters of the alphabet."
" We are hopeless, sir," said Moise.
" 1, 32," said the Spook, " then 5, 11, 20, 31, 1, 15, 24, 18,
20, 22. Now go home and puzzle it out."
Moise went home and after an hour's good hard work with
the dictionaries found that the clue meant " South " " West,"
the numbers given representing the position of the letters in
the Armenian alphabet. First south and then west were the
directions in which to measure.
The second clue was a circle containing in the margin
two numbers, either of which might be 61 or 19. (Armenian
figures are the same as our own.) The Spook told the Turks
that with the aid of a good compass it would be quite easy
to decipher. (We wanted them to produce a good compass,
and when the time arrived we would " dematerialize " it-
for it would be most useful to us. We liked that word
" dematerialize." It was much nicer than " steal.") And
there, for the present, the deciphering of the second clue
remained, and we turned our attention to the discovery of
the third, and last.
The Spook first made an attempt to get into telepathic
touch with AAA through the board. The seance was in
many ways most interesting. We had the greatest difficulty in
getting through to Constantinople, and for a while it looked
as if 000 & Co. had captured the thought-wave exchange,
or as if it had been nationalized by the Government of the
next sphere, for we were connected up in turn with all sorts of
people with whom we did not particularly want to talk. We
got on to Colonel Maule's mind, and were able to assure the
Turks that he was not mentioning our case in his monthly
letter to Headquarters. (We had learned this fact from the
Doc., who had questioned Maule.) Then we were switched
on to the British War Office and discovered that our plight was
already known there, and that enquiries were to be made.
Next we got Turkish headquarters in Palestine, and German
headquarters in France, and learned interesting things about
the war, but do what we would we could not get Constantinople.
The Spook appealed to us for one last effort. We
made it, got Constantinople, got AAA on the other end of
the " thought-wave," and immediately got jammed. The
opposition had blocked us. The Pimple was almost in tears
-we were so near success and yet so far awway!
"It is that damned 000 again," he wailed, "he
is getting more powerful since he organized his company."
Our Spook made us try again and again till the unhappy
Pimple was completely worn out with recording the
meaningless gyrations of the glass. For us mediums this was easy
work-there was no guiding to do, and we pushed the glass
about anywhere, in comfort. When Moise was half dead with
fatigue, the Spook admitted defeat. But he said there were
other methods. He first offered to control AAA into
committing suicide with a view to getting into touch with his
spook afterwards, as in the case of YYY and KKK. It was
easy enough to do, we were told, but the objection to this
method was that the Spook of AAA would learn what had
happened, and might join the opposition out of revenge for
his own death. Besides, even if he proved willing to
communicate, it would be some time before he could learn how
to do so, as had already been pointed out. (Vide our own
seances and Raymond passim.)
The Pimple declined to take the risk, and asked that AAA
be left alive. Needless to say his petition was granted.
There remained, said the Spook, telepathic trance-talk,
but this involved enormous risk to all concerned. Failure
might mean loss of sanity, or even death to the mediums, and
equal danger to the sitter if he made any mistake. There was
no other method of finding out the third clue in Yozgad, and
the only alternative was to move us away from Yozgad.
This led to a long discussion between the Pimple, Hill, and
myself. Hill and I objected strongly to the idea of being
moved from Yozgad. We pointed out that the Commandant
was our friend, that we were very comfortable (except for the
starvation), and that nowhere else in Turkey could we expect
to pass our imprisonment under such pleasant conditions.
Therefore we proposed trying the telepathic trance-talk,
however dangerous it might be, and expressed ourselves
willing to run any risk rather than be moved to another
camp and another Commandant.
The Pimple, on the other hand, did not at all relish the
idea of either insanity or death at the hands of the opposition.
He thought we ought not lightly to discard the warning of the
Spook. Death, after all, was a terrible thing. And he himself,
as sitter, had an unfortunate habit of making mistakes.
We denied that death meant anything for mediums who
knew what splendid activities awaited them in the world of
spooks. Indeed we were quite anxious to pass on. So we
forgave the Pimple beforehand for any mistakes he might
make ; then we outvoted him, and refused to contemplate a
move until we had tried every possible method in Yozgad.
The poor little man acquiesced with the best grace he
could muster. When the hour for the trance-talk arrived
(it was to take place in the dark) he shook hands with us very
solemnly and took his place in the dark at the other side of the
room, His instructions were to listen, but not to interrupt.
Hill and I held hands in the usual way and went off into a
trance to the usual accompaniment of grunts and groans.
Then the Spook announced he was going off to Constantinople
(where AAA was for the time being) in order to put AAA
under similar control.
Hill and I had everything rehearsed beforehand. We
waited for the silence and the darkness to begin to prey on the
Pimple's nerves, and then rose together, called to the Pimple
to follow and set off downstairs. We talked, as we went, to
an imaginary spirit. With the Pimple at our heels we turned
to the left at the bottom of the stair and passed through a
doorway (usually shut) into a large hall on the ground floor.
Immediately there was the bang of a most terrific explosion.
Hill and I shrieked to Moise to run. Blind with terror, the
poor little fellow rushed out of the house and smashed into the
ten-foot wall of the yard, which he vainly sought to climb.
Then, recovering himself bravely, he came back to our rescue.
We were half-way up the wooden stairs that led to our room,
bawling for help at the top of our voices, and wrestling
desperately with an invisible opposition in the dark. First one
and then the other of us fell clattering to the bottorn of the
stairs. As fast as we climbed up we were thrown down again.
The night was filled with our groans and shouts, and the
noise of blows. The din was terrific.
Moise often told us afterwards that it was the most awe-
inspiring incident in all his spooking experience. It was so
dark on the stairs that he could see nothing, but he
realized that we were fighting for our lives. Sometimes our
calls for help sounded so agonized he feared we were losing the
struggle.
It was small wonder our voices were " agonized," for we
were really suffering most abominably from a desire to laugh.
The tumult on the stairs was of course prearranged. First
Hill dragged me backwards then I dragged him, and we both
yelled at the top of our voices, pounded one another in the
dark, kicked and stamped and raved to drown the laughter
that was rising within us. We were seeking to terrify Moise
into another flight, and hoped he would make a bolt for home,
but we failed. We did not know until afterwards that he had
left the key of the outer gate in our room upstairs, and was
as much a prisoner as ourselves.
The end came suddenly; Hill was half-way upstairs,
holding on to the banisters with both hands and shaking them
till they rattled. I had him by the ankles and was heaving
and hauling in an endeavour to break his grip and give him
as bumpy a passage to the bottom as he had just given me.
We were both yelling blue murder. Then the Pimple took a
hand in the fight. He came up to within a foot of my back in
the dark, stamped his heavy boots loudly on the wooden
stairs, and cried " Shoo-shoo ! " in a very frightened voice.
The idea of " shoo-ing " away a malignant spirit who was
intent on our murder was too much for us ; Hill let go of the
banisters and I loosed his heels at the same instant, and we
fled together to our room to suffocate our laughter in our
blankets,-a " fuite precipitee au haul de l'escalier " Moise
called it in his notes. The Pimple followed, and bravely took
up his position at his table. I must admit the little rascal
had courage where spooks were concerned, for he took out his
pencil and carefully recorded the curious sounds we made in
stifling our laughter, annotating the whole with the remark,
" cries of souls in torment." Finally we got back into our
chairs, and with the usual groans and grunts the " power
passed away." The Pimple lit the lamp and peered at us
anxiously.
" Did anything happen ? Have we found it ? " I asked.
" It has been terrible-atrocious!" said the Pimple.
" You feel all right ? You are sane ? Eh ? "
At his request we examined ourselves. We found bruises ;
I had barked my shins, Hill's nose was skinned, and though
it was a cold night we were both bathed in perspiration.
We affected not to understand, and the Pimple gave us a
lurid account of the night's performance. Then we turned
to the Spook for further light on the subject.
In preparing us for the trance-talk the Spook had warned
us: "It is like a battle. While I am attacking AAA at
Constantinople, the opposition may suddenly counter-attack
on my mediums, and as I have told you, I have no reserves."
This was exactly what happened; our Spook put us into a
trance and turned his force on AAA. While he was doing
so, 000 stepped in, pretending to be AAA, and taking
advantage of the trance state of the mediums counter-attacked
by leading them, not to the third clue, but into a trap. It had
been a second and most brutal attempt to kill the mediums.
Our Spook had arrived back from Constantinople just in time
to interpose between us and the " explosion," and to divert the
missiles. " The missiles themselves are of course invisible
in your sphere," our Spook explained, " but their results, and
the results of the explosion you heard, are visible. Would
you like to see them ? "
" Is there no danger ? " Moise asked.
" No, I am with you," said the Spook.
We took a candle and went cautiously downstairs and
into the hall below. The place was in a fearful mess. At the
end where we had entered, the floor was deep in broken
plaster, and in the wall, all round the spot where we had been
standing when the explosion took place, were ten great holes.
Moise probed those he could reach with shaking fingers, but
found no missiles. As the Spook had said, the " missiles were
invisible." Awestruck, we returned upstairs.
" The mediums and I thank you sincerely," said Moise
to the Spook. " It was a dreadful explosion. We are grateful
to you."
" You are a brave man, Moise," the Spook replied. " I
congratulate you. Your presence on the stair and your
stamping helped me. Well done! But you see it is very
dangerous. I think you are satisfied it is too risky. You
had better consent to Plan 2."
Moise was satisfied--eminently satisfied-but Hill and I
were not. We protested against leaving Yozgad, and wanted
to try again, whatever the danger might be. But Moise had
had enough. He agreed with the Spook that we ought to
try another plan, that this was too risky, and when we would
not yield he went off to tell the Commandant that he would
resign his position as " sitter " and give up the treasure unless
we agreed to being moved as the Spook suggested. He
returned with the news that the Commandant was strongly
in favour of Plan 2, because if his mediums were killed all
hope of the treasure would be gone.
Plan 2 entailed our
leaving Yozgad.
We had got what we wanted. The Turks were now keen
on moving us. We did not trouble to explain that the
" explosion " which had frightened them was caused by Hill
banging shut a heavy trap-door left open for that purpose,
or that the ten " shell holes " in the wall represented some hard
work with the pick we had borrowed for the treasure-hunt.
Indeed, if we had said so, they would not have believed us !
CHAPTER XIX
OF THE FOUR POINT RECEIVER AND HOW WE PLANNED TO
KIDNAP THE TURKISH STAFF AT YOZGAD
ON the First of April the Pimple had let slip a morsel
of valuable information. He told us that the Changri
prisoners were coming to Yozgad in charge of
their own Commandant and Interpreter.
" That solves one difficulty," I said to Hill, after the
Pimple had gone away.
"How?"
" For the escape stunt. If we persuade them to send us to
the coast all three will want to come with us, because they
don't trust each other. But if they can leave the Changri
Commandant and Interpreter in charge of this camp it should
be easy enough for Kiazim and the Pimple to get away.
The Cook can always come as Kiazim's orderly."
" You mean," said Hill, " that you expect all three to come
with us to the coast ? "
" More than that," said I. " I've a plan for getting them
to provide a boat for us. I believe if they do so they will be too
frightened to give the alarm when we bolt, and we'd get a good
start."
In his function as critic Hill listened to my plan for
persuading the Turks to get us a boat. Then he sat silent for
some time.
" Good enough," he said at last, " but why leave the
Turks behind ? Why not take them with us in the boat ?
In short, why not kidnap 'em ? "
It was my turn to sit silent.
" I believe we two could sandbag three Turks any day,"
Hill grinned, " and it would be some stunt to hand over a
complete prison camp Staff to the authorities in Cyprus.
The giddy old War Office would be quite amused, I do believe,
and a laugh would cheer them up. And think of the British
public! If the German communiques are true our folks
should be in the dumps just now, with our armies in France
being pushed about, and Paris being shelled and all the rest
of it. It would do 'em a power of good to see a par. about
us in their breakfast newspapers ! Think of the heading
'Kidnapping of Yozgad Camp Officials '-' Spoofed by a
Spook.' And think of the joy of Sir Oliver Lodge ! "
" There's another point," said I. " If they were with us
they couldn't raise the alarm."
" That settles it, doesn't it ? " Hill asked.
It did. We decided to kidnap as many of the Turks as
we could.
On his next visit the Doc. carried away in his pocket a
rough skeleton of our two plans (i) for kidnapping the Commandant,
and (ii) for shamming mad. We asked him to
give us his advice, especially about the madness, and also
to discuss the plans with three men who had taken risks by
sending us messages during our imprisonment, and on whose
sound judgment we relied. These were Matthews, Price,
and Hickman. We asked them to help us for the kidnapping
stunt by procuring us a map of the south coast, morphia
(to drug the Turks with) and an adze to use as a weapon
should morphia and sandbags fail. We thought we could
carry one adze for chopping firewood without causing any
suspicion.
In reply we got a letter from Matthews. It was a good
letter, and the talk in it was as straight as the writer. He
said he thought the madness plan was impossible. But he
thoroughly approved of the kidnapping. He did not want
to " butt in " at the eleventh hour, after most of the hard work
had been done, but if we could do it without upsetting our
plans he would be most uncommon glad to be allowed to join
our party. Would we take him ? He could sail a boat with
anyone, with or without a compass, and could do his share
in a scrap.
We discussed his letter very carefully. We replied that
there was nobody in the camp we would rather take as a
companion, and that he would be most useful to us if we could
fit him in. Our acceptance of him as a third member of our
party was, however, conditional. We warned him that if
at any time we found his presence was endangering our
escape, we should " throw him overboard " without compunction.
And on the ground that we knew more about
spooking than he did, we demanded unquestioning obedience.
He gave the promise we required with alacrity, and we set
to work.
Our first step the reader has seen-we persuaded the Turks
that it would be necessary to move us. At the same time
we sent Kiazim Bey to the official Turkish doctors in Yozgad
with a carefully prepared story of his ill-health. Kiazim was
a victim to biliary colic, and we learned privately from Doc.
O'Farrell what he ought to say in order to induce the Turkish
doctors to believe he might be suffering from stone in the
hepatic duct. Under orders from the Spook he said it,
and the Turkish doctors gave him their written
recommendation for three months' leave. He was very grateful to
the Spook who, in his opinion, had " controlled " the Turkish
doctors, and he told us that Constantinople would undoubtedly
grant him the leave on the strength of his medical certificate,
especially as he could hand over charge to the Changri
Commandant, who was coming with the next prisoners.
The question of leave for the Pimple and the Cook was
simple. The Commandant could-and would-grant it.
So far as the three Turks were concerned, the difficulty
of leaving Yozgad was thus solved. There remained Hill and
myself, and if possible Matthews. We first thought of leaving
Yozgad as members of the Afion party, intending to get the
Commandant to separate us from the party at railhead
(Angora). Here are the Spook's instructions:
" Let the Superior go to Col. Maule or send word to him
as follows :-The two officers Jones and Hill are now free but
they will not be allowed to write letters during April. I am
anxious to get rid of these two men, but have not yet heard if
Constantinople wishes them kept here pending the completion
of the enquiry as to their correspondent in the town. If they
are not required here I shall send them to Afion. Will you
please warn any two of the twenty officers nominated that
their places may be taken by Jones and Hill ? I have already
informed Jones and Hill of this, and am permitting them to
stay in the Colonels' House till the party leaves for Afion."
Next day (April 5th) the Pimple reported having given
the Spook's message to Colonel Maule, and showed to the
spook-board the following reply from the Colonel:
" MR. MOISE,
" I should like to see the Commandant as soon as possible.
As all the officers detailed for Afion have made their
arrangements, sold or broken up their furniture, written to England,
etc., there is only one who wants to stay here now, and it is
rough luck on them to upset the whole arrangement after
the Commandant would not let Lieut. Jones's and Hill's
names go in originally.
5.4.18.
(Signed) N. S. MAULE,
LT.-COL. R.F.A."
The letter interested us because it showed that the Pimple
had told the truth when he informed us of the previous
attempt to get rid of " the black sheep." It was also a trifle
annoying, because it upset our plans a little. To have
overridden the Colonel's objections would have been easy, and I
was on the point of making the Spook do so (this was one of
the occasions when there had been no opportunity for
consultation with Hill) when I was struck by the possibilities in
one phrase-" there is only one who wants to stay here now."
This was what we wanted. It should be easy for Matthews
to change places with that one, while Hill and I could be
added to the party as far as Angora-we had no intention
whatsoever of accompanying them further, or of allowing
Matthews to do so. But there was not much time for
reflection.
" What do you think of this ? What do you advise ? "
Moise asked excitedly of the Spook.
SPOOK. " Do not forget your manners, Moise! I always
say 'good-evening' to you."
MOISE. " I beg your pardon, Sir. I am very sorry."
SPOOK. " All right. Now ask." (Moise repeated the
question). " Poor Moise! Poor Moise! This is terrible,
is it not ? You thought I wanted these two mediums to be
in the twenty, did you not ? " (Note.-This was 'eyewash'
talk-to gain me a little time to think out a reply.)
MOISE. " Yes, Sir."
SPOOK. " Ha! Ha! Ha! So did 000. Listen! I
cannot tell you my plans beforehand, because it will lead to
interference. I wanted 000 to read your thoughts last night
to deceive him into helping us. Yesterday several of the
twenty did not want to go. To-day all wanted to go. 000 did that."
The Spook went on to explain that in addition to wasting
000's force on irrelevant matters, the real object of the
message had been to let the camp know that the Commandant
would send away Hill and myself as soon as possible, and so it
was natural enough for us to remain in the Colonels' House
(where we were free to spook) instead of rejoining our
respective messes. We would be sent away, but not to Afion. Then
the following reply was dictated by the Spook
" To Colonel Maule-
I have no desire to cause any inconvenience, so allow the
matter to stand as it is at present. The reason for my message
of yesterday was merely that I had been given to understand
that several officers did not want to go. I simply
sought an easy way of allowing two to stay. I do not wish to
upset your arrangements, and if it is not necessary to keep
Jones and Hill here, I can easily apply to Constantinople to
punish them further by transferring them to Afion."
Moise was to add, verbally, that " immediately on receipt
of Colonel Maule's objections, the Commandant had written
to Constantinople asking for Hill and myself to be transferred
to another camp." And he was to let it be known that,
though we would not be included in the Afion party, we would
be added to it, and travel with it at least as far as Angora.
This Moise did, and in due course reported "that the reply
had comforted everybody." Colonel Maule was very
pleased, and thanked the Commandant.
The secret plan on which Hill and I were now working
was perhaps sufficiently ingenious to merit a detailed description.
The Turks, of course, did not know it beforehand, but
were to be introduced to it bit by bit as it developed. It
was as follows
i. The Spook would " control " Hill and myself into a
nervous breakdown of sufficient severity to induce the Turkish
doctors at Yozgad to recommend our transfer to Constan-
tinople.
2. The Spook would draft a letter to Constantinople from
the Commandant reporting our sickness, enclosing copies of
the Turkish doctors' recommendations, and stating that he
would seize the first opportunity of sending us to a
Constantinople hospital. Office copies of this letter would be
kept by the Yozgad office in the usual way. The original
would be signed, sealed, and put in an envelope addressed to
the Turkish War Office. But it would never be delivered. It
would be " lost in the post " for the simple reason that it
would never be posted, though the office staff would think it
had gone.
3. As soon as news arrived that the Changri Commandant
had left Angora en route for Yozgad, Kiazim was to telegraph
to Constantinople about his own health, quoting the opinion
of the doctors already obtained, ask for leave, and suggest
that he hand over charge to the Changri Commandant. By
the time the Changri man arrived, the answer should have
come from the War Office, and, in view of his influence at
headquarters, Kiazim had already told us he could (with
the aid of the doctors' recommendations) get leave at any
time.
4. A day or two before the arrival of the Changri Commandant
Kiazim was to give the Pimple leave of absence.
The Pimple would join the Afion party as far as Angora
(railhead) in order to avail himself of the Government trans-
port. (Note.-We modified this later, and the Pimple was
actually sent on duty to look after the " nervous break-
downs.")
5. The Cook was to be detailed as one of the escort of the
Afion party, but was to be under orders to accompany it only
as far as Angora, where he was to stay behind " to make
purchases for the Commandant's wife."
6. In handing over charge of the camp Kiazim would
point out to his successor from Changri the office-copy of the
letter about us (which had not been sent), and suggest we be
added to the Afion party. This we could accompany as far
as railhead at Angora, where there was a prisoners' camp and
a hospital in which we could wait till an opportunity arose
for sending us on to Constantinople. (Note.-We would
arrange, as we eventually did, to be taken not to the camp
or the hospital, but to a hotel in Angora ; but Yozgad would
know nothing of this.) Had we been really " nervous
breakdowns " this would have been the natural thing to do.
The Changri man would thus take over the camp two officers
short, but would report the numbers as " complete and all
correct." We did not know if it was customary for the
new-comer to report to headquarters the exact number of
prisoners taken over by him, and the Spook intended to get
Kiazim to dodge such a definite statement if possible. But
we did know that the report, if sent, would be sent in writing
(taking a week to ten days), and what with 20 officers and
10 orderlies going to Afion, and 44 officers and 25 orderlies
coming in from Changri, with possibly some sick dropped en
route, headquarters would either not notice the shortage or
think it an arithmetical error. If they did happen to make
any enquiries about it, the new Commandant would refer
them to the letter about us, which they had never received,
and we were quite sure that the result would be an ordinary
inter-departmental wrangle as to the correctness of a set of
figures, and possibly a post-office enquiry about a missing
letter. I had not spent a dozen years in Government service
without learning how easy it is for the real point at issue to be
obscured. And long before the War Office and Yozgad had
got beyond the stage of arithmetical calculations, we hoped
to be in Cyprus or Rhodes. As to Colonel Maule's monthly
letter to H.Q., we intended asking him, as a favour, to continue
saying nothing about us.
7. The Commandant, when going on leave, would travel
with us. It would be the natural thing to do, because he
would thus get a free passage by Government cart as far as
railhead, and also, the country being full of bandits, he would
have the advantage of an armed escort.
If all went well, then, the effect would be that Hill and I
would be on the road with the Pimple, the Cook, and the
Commandant, and once the Afion party had left us behind in
the hotel at Angora, nobody would know anything about us.
Yozgad officials would not worry because we had set out for
Constantinople ; Constantinople would not worry because
they would not know we were coming. Angora prisoners'
camp would not worry because we would be under our own
escort, and not " on their strength." It is an exceptional
Turk who is a busybody-they are too lazy to interfere with
affairs that are not their concern-and the gold epaulettes on
Bimbashi Kiazim Bey's uniform would be guarantee enough
of our respectability. To make ourselves as inconspicuous
as possible Hill and I would dress in the rough Turkish
soldiers' uniform which had been issued to the British orderlies
at Yozgad-we each had a suit of it-and discard all badges of
rank. There was no reason why anyone in authority should
question two British prisoners who looked like miserable and
half-starved privates-the sight was too common. We might
go anywhere in Turkey with Kiazim Bey, and before we left
Yozgad Kiazim Bey would know that his job was to take us
to the Mediterranean seaboard.
Our first task was to introduce the Turks, as carefully as
possible, to the idea of taking us to the coast. Once that was
accomplished we could tackle the Matthews problem.
We worked at tremendous pressure, and developed all
our main points simultaneously. During the five days when
we held up Constantinople's order to release us, Doc. O'Farrell
visited us daily and secretly instructed us in the symptoms of
nervous breakdowns. He told the Pimple he thought our
minds were affected, and the Pimple thought the Spook had
" controlled " him into believing this. When we had
thoroughly mastered the Dec.'s instructions, the Spook caused
Kiazim to tell the camp we were free. The object of this, the
Spook explained quite frankly to our Turkish confederates,
was to enable us to have visitors, so that when visitors came
we might be " controlled " by the Spook into most eccentric
behaviour. The result, as the Spook pointed out, was that
the camp thought us crazy. The Turks came to the
conclusion we hoped they would reach-that the Spook intended
to get the doctors to recommend our removal from Yozgad.
Kiazim was greatly pleased with the idea, for the doctors'
recommendations would relieve him of all responsibility.
Our first visitors were Matthews and Price, who came in
with the Doc. To them, when they came, I made my long-
delayed confession that every " message " obtained through
my " mediumship " had been of my own invention, and that
not only the Turks but also my friends in the camp had been
victimized. It was then, for the first time, that I realized how
difficult it is to convince a True Believer of the truth. In spite
of what I said, these three, who were all my own " converts,"
tried to force me to admit that there was " something in
spiritualism," and that at least some of the messages for which
I was responsible were " genuine." They quoted the
incidents of " Louise " and the code-test against me, and
when I had explained these Matthews turned on me with,
" Well, we have got one thing out of it, anyway I We have
proved the possibility of telepathy. For I don't believe that
the show you two fellows gave at the concert could have been
a fraud." In reply Hill picked up a small note-book, and
handed it to Matthews.
" There's the code we used," he said.
To tell a man that you have been " pulling his leg " and
" making a fool of him " for your own ends is a very severe
test of friendship, and for our friendship's sake we had long
dreaded this revelation. But we could not go on using these
good fellows any longer without a full confession.
" Hill and I hope you can forgive us," I concluded lamely.
" Forgive you!" cried Price. " I take my hat off to
you! If there is anything we can do to help-"
" Count on us," said Matthews, " we want to be in it."
" Faith," laughed the Doc., " I seem to be in it already,
though it is little I knew it-an' I mean to stay in it! From
now on you've got to tell me everything. I couldn't sleep o'
nights if you didn't go on using me."
And that is how the Submarine Man, and the Sapper, and
the Scientist from Central Africa took their generous and
gentle revenge.
For the rest the Spook was very thorough. It refused to
allow us to wash, or shave, or sweep out our room. It made
us infernally rude to many of our visitors. It controlled us
into lodging wild accusations against our best friends. It
made us refuse to go out, and ordered us to put a notice on
our door-
"GO AWAY I WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!"
Yet many good fellows forced their way in. Our condition
distressed them. We were unshaven and dirty, our faces
pale, drawn, and very thin. The fortnight's starvation had
put a wild look into our eyes. But our chief pride and horror
was our hair-we had refrained from cutting it for the last
two months, and now we did not brush it, so that it stood up
round our heads like the quills of the fretful porcupine. To
cap everything there was the studied filth of our room.
The best way to get a man to agree to a plan is to make
him think it is of his own invention. This was the system we
followed with the Turks. After the " explosion " the Turks
had (of themselves, they thought) decided we must be moved
from Yozgad. The Spook pointed out that two problems
remained-how were we to be moved, and where were we to
go ? These, also, we caused the Turks to solve for us, in the
way we wanted.
" I want to see you try the same problems as you are
giving me to do," said the Spook, " because when we all think
together, it helps."
MOISE. " We thought you had a plan ready."
SPOOK. " So I have, but I dare not tell it yet because of
000. I want you all, the Sup. and the Cook too, to invent
plans, because your thinking about these will confuse 000,
and so help me by reducing his force. Write down all your
plans and bring them to me."
The Commandant, the Cook, and the Pimple spent all their
spare time manufacturing plans. They appealed to Hill and
myself to help, but we turned out to be singularly uninventive,
and beyond an occasional suggestion (calculated to put them
on the right lines) they got nothing out of us. We
excused ourselves for our failure by saying that the English
are a very practical race and have no imagination. The
three Turks thought that however good we might be as
mediums, we were hopelessly dull at what Moise called
" intrigue."
Within 36 hours of the explosion, the Commandant,
inspired by Doc. O'Farrell's fears as to our sanity, produced
the following plan. I quote it in full from the Pimple's notes,
and the reader can see for himself how near it came to being
what we wanted:
" Ecrire a Constantinople declarant que deux offficiers par
suite du pouvoir qu'ils ont de communiquer par telepathic et
ayant abuse de ce pouvoir, sont dans un etat mental excessif
qui pourrait avoir une influence nefaste sur leur physique ou
cerveau. Par consequence priere de les envoyer a
Constantinople afin de les faire examiner par des specialistes et de
decouvrir les moyens de les guerir. L'Interprete connaissant
toutes ces questions, il serait utile de l'envoyer aver eux soit
pour les empecher de tacher de communiquer soit pour les
surveiller plus efficacement."
There were several other plans by both Moise and Kiazim,
who were certainly inventive enough. The poor old Cook
could only think of one plan-he was an unimaginative person
like ourselves. It was to get horses and clap us on them, and
gallop gaily across country wherever the Spook might want us
to go. The Cook would have done it, and Hill and I would
have been only too delighted to do it, but for Kiazim it was
much too open and direct. He wanted his own tracks well
hidden before he moved, and would not countenance it-at
this stage.
We were quite satisfied with Kiazim's proposal as a basis
for our plans. But we pretended to object to it very strongly.
We said we were afraid we might be certified mad, and
consequently lose our jobs when we returned to England after the
war, as well as make our relatives anxious in the meantime.
The Pimple asked for the Spook's opinion on our objection,
and the Spook was very angry.
" I do not say this is my plan," said the Spook, " but I
warn you if I order anything you must do it. IF YOU
DISOBEY YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE REAL
MADNESS! Choose ! Obedience or real madness! "
" Obedience, absolute obedience ! " said Hill and I
together, " and please look after us."
" Don't worry," said the Spook, and then announced its
intention of developing the plan, but went no further for the
present. (Note.-The lines on which we would develop it
have already been indicated to the reader-paragraphs 1
and 2 of the plan above.)
The how of our going having been solved, the Spook turned
to the question of where we were to go. It suggested that the
medical leave on which Kiazim's mind was now set could be
usefully employed for three purposes simultaneously ; first,
finding the treasure, second, curing the Commandant's
disease, and third, giving the mediums a well-deserved holiday
and bringing them back to Yozgad with their health fully
restored. Where, then, would Kiazim like to go for a holiday?
Kiazim thought Constantinople would be the very place, for
AAA was there ; we could read his thoughts and find the
third clue, and have a most excellent time. The Spook agreed
that Constantinople would be first-rate for those purposes,
provided AAA had not gone on tour to Tarsus or somewhere
of that sort, but unfortunately a big town would be most
prejudicial to Kiazim's health. He required some quiet place
and the Spook asked the Turks what sort of place they
preferred, whether mountains, desert, or sea.
" We prefer sea," said Moise, after vainly trying to get the
Spook to agree to "a house near the mosque of Ladin in
Konia."
SPOOK. " Noted."
MOISE. " Thank you, Sir. May the mediums choose a
place ? They want Cairo."
SPOOK. " They must go where I send them-ha! ha! "
MOisE. " May I choose a place out of Turkey ? Do you
count Egypt in Turkey ? "
(This was delightful-it showed Moise remembered the
Spook's secret advice to him to " seize the first opportunity of
going to Egypt." But we must not move too fast.)
" It is not yet in Turkey," said the Spook, and turned to
another subject.
The Turks were now settled in their own minds that we
would go to some quiet place on the sea-coast. They would
have liked " a good time " in Constantinople, but were quite
reconciled to a seaside resort. We decided to do more than
reconcile them to it-we would make them madly keen to go
there. And this is how we did it.
(I quote the records again.)
SPOOK. " Do you understand wireless, Moise ? "
MOISE. " Yes, I do, a little. I have just read something
about it." (Note.-The Spook had previously instructed him
to translate to the Commandant a very technical book on
wireless telegraphy which was in the camp library.)
SPOOK. " Now for thought-waves. They are fourth
dimension waves, so you will find it difficult."
MOISE. " Please try to make us understand it."
SPOOK. " Thought is similar to wireless waves in some
ways. For example, it travels best over water. Mountains
interfere. A dry desert is bad. Thought-waves are stronger
at night. Interference by other ions is easy. For example,
what 000 did the other night " (i.e., when he blocked the
line to Constantinople) " was to intersperse what we call
'teletantic ions' amongst the telechronistic. So you got
wrong letters. If Yozgad was flat and wet, or an island, it
would be much harder for 000 to interfere."
MOISE. " You mean it is easier to interfere at night ? "
SPOOK. " No ! It is not easier to interfere at night. I
did not say that. I said the waves are stronger at night."
(Moise : " I am sorry, Sir.") " I mean exactly what I say-
interference by interspersing teletantic ions is easy, provided
the waves are feeble-that is to say, if the distance is great or
the locality is dry and mountainous. In all these respects it
is like wireless. Also as regards the square of the distance, of
which I told you."
MOISE. " Yes, Sir. We remember."
SPOOK. " Thought-reading at a distance requires
conditions which are exactly the opposite of those necessary for
clairvoyance. For clairvoyance you need a dry clear day, as
in the case of KKK, and height helps. That is one reason
why I was always doubtful if I could do all three clues here in
Yozgad."
MOISE. " Quite true."
SPOOK. " I guessed if I got one lot I must fail with the
other, as we had opposition. Now let me explain how
thought-waves differ from wireless waves. First : direction.
Moise, which direction is best for wireless ? "
MOISE. " I think it is East to West. I do not remember."
SPOOK. " Wrong! Look it up! "
MOISE (referring to his book on wireless). " It is North
to South."
SPOOK. " Right ! Now thought-waves have three bad
directions and one good one. The good one is South to
North. When travelling in that way the wave is at its
strongest. Also, in wireless you have an immense number of
radiating waves. In thought you have only one wave.
Wireless waves radiate. Understand ? "
MOISE. " Yes."
SPOOK. " The single thought-wave goes like this-draw
the motion of the glass." (Note.-The glass moved in a left-
hand spiral and Moise drew a picture of a spiral.)
" Now thought-waves are attracted by water, as if gravity
kept them down low. They travel close to the surface of the
sea. The bigger the expanse of water, the more the main
body and force of the wave is centred low down. But land
has the opposite effect. It throws the main body of the wave
high in the air. See ? "
MOISE. " Yes, Sir."
SPOOK. " The bigger the expanse of land and the higher
the mountains and the drier the surface, the higher becomes
the main body of the wave, so by the time a thought
transmitted from Paris reaches the middle of China it is very high
and only the ragged edges are within reach. Now the
only thing that will bring it down again is a big expanse of
water, and the descent is gradual like the trajectory of a
bullet."
A glance at a map will show whither all this rigmarole
was tending. At Yozgad it would be difficult to read AAA's
thoughts because the thought-wave, starting in a left-hand
spiral from Constantinople, would be bumped up by the
Taurus mountains and the dryness of the desert to the north
of them, and would pass very high over Yozgad. Down
at the Mediterranean coast things would be simple, for the
wave would pass low down over the surface of the sea. The
Black Sea would be almost as hopeless as Yozgad, unless
we went out a long way from shore to where the wave had
again reached the surface of the water. The best time to
pick it up would be when it was at its strongest, i.e., in the
night.
The next step was to dangle a fresh bait in front of the
Turks. We had got the sea-we wanted the boat.
" I have an idea of trying the 'Four Cardinal Point
Receiver' if you will help," said the Spook.
Moise naturally asked what the " Four Cardinal Point
Receiver " might be.
The Spook told us it was a secret method of thought-
reading not known in our sphere. It had once been known to
the ancient Egyptians. (the Pimple pricked up his ears at the
mention of Egypt) but the knowledge had been lost. It was
based on the principle which we had already learned-" that
once a thought has been thought it is always there," or, in
more technical language, the thought-wave once created
becomes telechronistic and travels in an eternal spiral in the
fourth dimension of space. The method of the Four Cardinal
Point Receiver was infinitely preferable to our cumbersome
" trance-talk " and " Ouija " methods of thought-reading,
because by them you could only read the thoughts of persons
you knew existed, whereas by the Egyptian method every
thought was accessible to us. " That is to say," said the
Spook, " you can know anything that has ever happened
anywhere and at any time. Not only this treasure but all
treasures and all knowledge will be revealed." If we promised
to try it, the Spook agreed to tell us how it was done, but it
must be kept a profound secret.
We promised, and the secret was revealed. I present it,
free of charge, to all mediums, amateur and professional,
who happen to be at a loss to invent some fresh leg-pull. Here
it is:
Get on to the surface of the sea-preferably in a boat-
so as to be on a level with the main body of the thought-wave.
Go at night when the wave is at its strongest. Take with you,
ready prepared, a drink that is stimulating to the nerves-
e.g., coffee. Four of you, facing in different directions, drink
quickly and in silence. Then lie down, and pillow your
heads on vessels of pure water -which will help to concentrate
the telechronistic wave. (Pure water is useful on a voyage to Cyprus.)
Then count three hundred and
thirty-three. Having counted, think of a pleasant memory
for five minutes. All this to be done with your eyes open.
The counting should be aloud, but in a low murmuring tone,
and the process of counting up to three hundred and thirty-
three and thinking for five minutes must be repeated three
times in all, for three is the mystic number in the system.
The object so far is to make the mind" receptive." You next
think hard of what you want to discover.
" Then," said the Spook, " you try to-well, there is no
human word for it. It is something like going to sleep, and
the sensations are similar, if you are going to be successful.
You will drop OUT, as it were. Do you understand ? "
" We do not understand the last sentence," said Moise.
" It is difficult," the Spook said. " Once you have felt
it you will understand. It is like dropping to sleep, but it is
really dropping out of what you call the present time and place
into the past time and place which you willed to see."
" Are only the mediums able to see, or everybody ? "
" It will be all, or none," said the Spook.
Here was " some offer "! Not merely one treasure, but all
treasures would be ours. And Asia Minor, every Turk
believes, is full of buried treasure. The stuff hidden before
the recent Armenian massacres would be a fortune in itself,
and when one thought of the past-of the Greeks, and
Romans, and Persians-why! There was no limit to the
wealth that lay within our grasp.
" I am so glad we chose the seaside for our holiday,"
said the Pimple. " It fits in beautifully."
" It does," we agreed.
" But I don't quite understand about this 'dropping OUT,'
do you ? "
" No," said Hill slowly. " Seems to be something like
a trance. Anyway, the Spook has promised we'll know all
about it when we wake up."
" Fancy," said Moise, " all treasures and all knowledge!
I do hope we can leave Yozgad soon."
He went off to dream about all the treasures of all time
for the few hours that remained of the night.
I looked across the spook-board at Hill. His face was
drawn with weariness. Seances lasted anything up to six
hours ; it had been a very hard week, and he was pinched and
pale with hunger. But his eyes were glittering.
" What do you think ? " I asked.
He pulled out of his pocket two little tubes of morphia
pills and looked at them reflectively.
" I was wondering," he said, " how many of these it takes
in coffee to kill a man. It would be a pity to murder the
Pimple, he's such a True Believer, and I'd like to get him an
introduction to Sir Oliver Lodge."
" But," I objected, " when he wakes up and finds himself
half-way to Cyprus, he won't be a True Believer any more,
and he'll try to cut Lodge's throat if he meets him."
" Don't you believe it," said Hill. " True Believers
remain True Believers right through everything. When our
three wake up they'll think that 000 is in charge of the boat-
that's all!"
CHAPTER XX
IN WHICH WE ARE FOILED BY A FRIEND
THE idea of the immense wealth that awaited them at
the coast filled the minds of the Turks to the exclusion
of everything else. The original treasure-a mere £18,000
-became insignificant and paltry; and, commpared with the
Four Cardinal Point Receiver, the methods of discovering it
were cumbersome and uncertain. The Cook, especially, was
in flames to start at once, and had he been our Commandant
the next day would have seen us galloping for the coast.
For the Cook was a very thorough sort of rascal and he saw
no sense in bothering about regulations and the War Office
when a bit of hard riding would put him in a position of
affluence where he could bribe the whole of Turkey, if
necessary. We could get to the coast and back again, he
urged, before the War Office knew we had left Yozgad, so
why bother the Spook to get Kiazim leave or to get the
mediums formally transferred ? Let us go!
Unfortunately the Spook had promised to make the
Commandant safe with his superiors at each step, and Kiazim,
being a timid man, wanted to be satisfied that no harm could
come of it to himself before he moved. He would have liked
to have adopted the Cook's suggestion, but the Commandant
feared some tell-tale in the Yozgad office might inform
headquarters of his departure. Once we were on the road together
that fear would cease to exist, but we must leave Yozgad
openly and for a sufficient cause. His medical leave, and our
transfer, would be ample excuse.
Had Hill and I been at all uncertain of our ability to effect
what Kiazim desired, the Spook might have insisted on our
adopting the Cook's suggestion. But so far as we could see,
our plans were perfect. We had only to hoodwink the
Turkish doctors into recommending our transfer to get
everything that Kiazim required, and he would then come
with us joyously, of his own free will, instead of nervously and
under orders. As the Pimple pointed out to the impatient
Cook, Kiazim could then conduct us to the destination
recommended by the doctors via the coast.
Besides, there was Matthews. Apart from our friendship
for him and our anxiety to get a third man out of Turkey, his
assistance would be invaluable to us. Our plan to include
him in our party was what the Turks call the " cream of the
coffee." Hill and I had gone over it scores of times, inventing,
selecting, discarding, improving, until at last we could see no
flaw. It involved waiting for the Afion party to leave, but
we already intended to do that in order to get hold of the
Commandant, and we saw no danger in the delay. So we had
sent word to Matthews that all was going well and that he
would get his " operation orders " in a day or two. Mean-
time, while he busied himself with astronomical calculations
and invented a sun-compass (which was afterwards used, I
believe, by Cochrane and his party in their escape), we made
our final preparations for deceiving the Turkish doctors into
ordering our transfer and reduced our daily rations to five
slices of dry toast in my case, and three slices for Hill, who
considered himself still obnoxiously fat.
Then, with the sudden unexpectedness of thunder in a
clear sky, the crash came.
The reader will remember that when replying to Colonel
Maule's objections to our taking the places of two members of
the Afion party, the Spook had told Moise to let it be known
that although we would not take anyone's place, we would be
added to the party because the Commandant was anxious to
get rid of us. Moise had obeyed the Spook, and it was soon
known in the camp that we were leaving Yozgad. We had
not imagined any possible harm could come of our friends
knowing it. It would have been perfectly easy to keep the
camp in complete ignorance of our movements until the day
came to leave Yozgad. We paid dearly for our mistake.
One of the members o£ the Afion party was X. X was a
close friend of mine. When Hill and I were locked up by the
Commandant, he put both his possessions and his services
entirely at our disposal, offered to send word about us to
England by means of his private cipher system, and was as
ready as any to incur risks on our behalf. Indeed, throughout
our imprisonment he had been a thorn in the flesh of the
Pimple, for he let no opportunity slip of pestering that
unhappy individual with questions about our welfare, and was
constantly trying to discover the Commandant's intentions
towards us. Such was his assiduity in what he supposed were
our interests that he had become something of a nuisance to
the Turks, and they several times complained about him,
contrasting his interference with the laissez-faire attitude of
the rest of the camp. The Spook had seized the first
opportunity to name X as the " medium " through whom 000
was trying to discover our plans. This had explained X's
questions at the time to everybody's amusement and
satisfaction, but it was to have most woeful consequences.
Shortly after Moise had made his intimation about us to
the camp, Hill and I were debating how soon our starvation
would have reduced us enough to face the doctors with
security, and had just decided that another three or four days
should be sufficient, when the Pimple came in.
" Once again," he announced, " X has been at it. He says
he does not want to travel with you two in the same party."
" Why not? " we asked in genuine amazement. " What
on earth is the matter with him now ? "
" He says he thinks you will try to escape on the way from
Yozgad to Angora, and then he and the rest of the party will
be strafed. So they don't want you with them."
Hill and I laughed. It was a difficult thing to do on the
spur of the moment, but we managed to laugh quite naturally.
We pretended to find much amusement in X's ignorance of
the real object of our journey. The Pimple was almost
equally amused. Then our conversation turned to other
matters.
" I wonder if he was testing us ? " Hill said when the
Pimple had gone.
" I don't think so," I replied. " He dropped the subject
too quick. If it had been a trap he would have shown more
interest in it. X said it all right, I expect. He is probably
trying to frighten the Commandant out of sending us away, to
be 'strafed,' as he thinks! He's had that bee in his bonnet
ever since the trial."
" I still think it is a trap," Hill said. " Even if X had a
whole hive in his hat he wouldn't say a fool thing like that ! "
" We'll be on pretty thin ice if they ask the Spook about
it," I said. " Are we to believe X said it, or not ? "
We were not left long in doubt. While we were talking,
Matthews, Price, and Doc. O'Farrell came in. They all looked
unhappy, and after a few generalities and beating about the
bush they " broke the news " to us that the Commandant
had been "warned."
" The Pimple has just told us," we said.
The three looked their astonishment.
"What's to happen to you?" Matthews asked, with
consternation in his voice.
" Nothing at all," I said. " The Pimple knows X was
playing the ass, and is laughing at him for being so wide of the
mark. We'll carry on as usual. The Spook business is still
going strong, and we've got the plan for your inclusion well
worked out."
" You think no harm was done ? "
" None at all," we said.
We were wrong. For several days we " carried on " boldly
with our plans but with each visit of the Pimple we became
more and more certain that there was something in the wind
of which we were ignorant. We dared not question, and
could only wait. Then came an evening when the Pimple
burst in on us in high excitement.
" The Commandant is a timid fool," he said viciously,
" He is troubled about X. I tell him it is all right. But
still he is troubled. Mon Dieu! He is no man, but a woman
in the uniform of Bimbashi."
Hill and I laughed.
" You mean he believes X, and thinks we are going to try
and escape ? "
" O no! No! " the Pimple said. " He is not so great a
fool as that. He knows you are too weak to go ten miles.
For are you not starved ? Are you not lame ? But he is
troubled. He thinks this is a warning, not of what you
intend to do, but of what our Spook or perhaps 000 intends
to do for you. He fears the Spook or 000 will make you
disappear."
" But how could X know what the Spook- "
" You see," the Pimple interrupted, " X is the medium of
000. He has been the mouthpiece of 000 in asking
many questions. Now he is the mouthpiece of 000 in
giving a warning. That is what the Commandant thinks. I
tell him no doubt X is the medium of 000 ; no doubt this
message is from 000, but the object of it is plain! It is
evident! Have we not had experience to tell us what it
means ? Is it not one last despairing effort by 000 to
frighten the Commandant, to stop him from sending the
mediums to find the treasure ? But he will not listen to me.
He is troubled, much troubled. Even now he has gone to his
witch, to ask her to read the cards. He is a damn fool, and a
coward! Why does he not trust the Spook ? Everything
it has promised the Spook has done, and still he is afraid!
He will spoil everything! "
"Let him!" I stretched my arms and yawned. " I for
one won't be sorry if he stops now. We've learned the secret
of the Four Point Receiver, and I don't see what more Hill
and I are likely to get out of this. We get no share in the
treasure and you can take it from me it's no joke living on
dry toast and tea. I don't mind how soon he gives it up and
sends us back to the camp and decent food again."
" Nor I," Hill chimed in. " The Commandant can take
his treasure or leave it, as he likes. I'll be glad to end this
starvation business. And if he angers the Spook it will be
his funeral, not ours! I'll go back to camp with pleasure."
The Pimple grabbed his cap and jumped to his feet.
" What about my share-my share and the Cook's ? " he
cried. " Stay where you are! Don't go back to camp!
I go to see him! It will be all right." He rushed excitedly
from the house, to argue with his superior officer.
His efforts and the Cook's were of no avail.
The Commandant was thoroughly scared. The more he thought of
what X had said the more certain he became that it was an
utterance from the world beyond, to which it behoved him to
pay heed. He distrusted us not at all, but he was
superlatively afraid of the unseen powers, and especially of 000.
Once already 000 had temporarily gained the upper hand
and nearly murdered us by the explosion. Supposing next
time he succeeded? What was to prevent 000 from
killing not only the two mediums, but the whole batch of
treasure-hunters ? Our Spook could not be everywhere at
once, as had been proved, and though Kiazim vowed he
trusted him, he could not feel quite certain that no more
mistakes would be made. The " opposition " was so very
strong!
At the same time, the man wanted his treasure. We
gathered from the Pimple, by means of very judicious
pumping, that if the treasure could be found without the
Commandant involving himself in any way with the War Office,
or doing anything irregular, or being seen in our company,
then all would be well. But he would not willingly commit
himself-he was "tres poltron" -and " the cards " had not
been very favourable.
The situation had its humorous side. With much toil
Hill and I had built up in the Turks a belief in the existence of
a spirit-world peopled by powerful personalities capable of
interfering in mundane affairs and of controlling the actions
of us mortals. We had created a spirit who was labouring for
us, and to explain why so omnipotent a personality should not
at once achieve its aim we had been forced to invent an
opposition spirit in whom the Turks believed as fully as in our
own Spook. These two great forces were struggling for the
strings which moved us human marionettes. Until X came
into the arena, all had gone well, and the Turks had been
content to remain automata and to obey blindly the pulls at
their strings. , But now there was a split in our camp. Kiazim
was assailed with doubt as to the genuine intentions of our
Spook, and, on the other hand, with fears that OOO might
eventually prove supreme. But never for a single moment
had he any doubts about the mediums. So it came about
that our chief jailer gravely pointed out to us the possibility
that we might be forced to escape by the unseen powers,
which would have dangerous consequences for himself. He
knew we would help him to prevent it, if we could, but alas!
we were mere instruments in the hands of the Unseen. We
could give him no advice, except to trust the Spook, which
was precisely what he would not do.
Outwardly Hill and I were like the mother turkey-" more
than usual calm " ; we pretended not to care what happened.
But between ourselves we raged at X for his interference, and
at our own carelessness in letting our intended movements be
known too early. It looked as if all our hard work and our
starvation had been in vain. Kiazim was ready, at the
first hint of danger, to give up the treasure-hunt altogether,
and he had quite made up his mind to take no active part in
the matter for the future. He would not, for instance, travel
with us, or grant leave to Moise or the Cook, and we knew it
would be hopeless to try the " lost-in-the-post " letter.
Hill and I felt that we had no choice but to give up, for
the time being, our kidnapping scheme. Perhaps our nerve
was a little broken by X's unexpected intervention. A few
more remarks of that nature, we felt, might switch suspicion
on to us. Suspicion might lead to unexpected tests, and
unexpected tests to discovery. What the result of that might
be we did not like to contemplate.
We put Matthews' "operation orders" in the fire next
day, and told him we dared not go on. He agreed, regretfully, that we were right.
CHAPTER XXI
IN WHICH WE DECIDE TO BECOME MAD AND THE SPOOK GETS
US CERTIFICATES OF LUNACY
OUR last hope was to go mad, and try for exchange.
We came to the decision reluctantly, after a discussion
that went on far into the night. Then a thing happened
that went far to restore my ebbing faith in human nature.
Hill got up from his chair, and after pacing the room a little
while, he stopped, facing me.
" I will stand down, old chap," he said. " If two of us
go mad together it will lessen the chances of each not by half,
but a hundredfold, and one man, on his own, has a poor
enough chance against the Constantinople specialists. So I
will stand down, and good luck to you!"
" We have agreed that the mad stunt is now our best-
our only chance," I objected.
" Yes," he admitted. " But think of it-two fellows from
the same camp going mad at the same time. It is hopeless.
I'd love to join you, but I'm not going to spoil your chance.
Your only hope is to go alone."
I like to think of the half-hour that followed, and of the
depths it revealed in Hill's friendship for me. We were at
the gloomiest period of the war-April 1918. The German
successes lost nothing in the recounting in Turkish newspapers.
To every appearance our imprisonment might last for years.
Yet Hill tried hard to sacrifice his last faint hope of liberty for
my sake. In the end I reminded him that we had pledged
ourselves to stick together, and threatened that if he returned
to camp I would fulfil my part of the contract by going back
with him.
" Well, Bones," he said. " I'll come. I don't know what
special kind of miseries the Turks keep for malingering lunatics,
but I promise you that without your permission they'll never
find out through me."
I made him the same promise. Three months later I was
to regret it most bitterly, for Hill then lay at death's door in
Gumush Suyu hospital, and forbade me to say the few words
of confession that would have got him the humane treatment
he required.
Our Spook had a delicate task regaining its full authority
over Kiazim. It began by developing the Commandant's
own plan-a process to which he could hardly object-and
laying stress on its desire to keep Kiazim in the background.
It reminded us that in order to avoid 000's interference it was
better for us not to know what method would be ultimately
adopted. But there was no harm in preparing for a trip to
Constantinople to read the thoughts of AAA. And if we
failed, which was unlikely, we could try some other method
when we returned to Yozgad. Meantime, Kiazim need do
nothing but tell the truth, in which there was never any harm.
It did not reprove Kiazim for lack of faith, or pretend to
know anything about his temporary secession, but went on
quietly as if nothing had occurred.
The Commandant was perfectly ready to tell the truth,
but wanted to know to whom he was to tell it, and what he
was to say! The Spook told him. He was to call in the
Turkish doctors and make them the following statement,
which he should learn by heart:
" I am anxious about two of my prisoners, and I want your
professional advice that I may act on it. I have reason to
believe they are mentally affected, and that the English doctor
is endeavouring to conceal the fact.
(Acting under the Spook's order, Moise had previously cross-
examined Doc. O'Farrell, who, by agreement with us, had shown
confusion and hesitation when asked if he thought we were mad, and
had finally denied our insanity.)
A certain number of the prisoners, amongst whom Jones and Hill were prominent,
have been studying occultism ever since they arrived. They
admittedly practise telepathy, and were arrested for
communication with people outside on military matters. For
direct evidence as to their conduct during their confinement
I refer you to my Interpreter (Moise) and my orderly (the
Cook) who have seen a good deal of them. If they have
become mentally unhinged I fear they may do something
desperate, and would like you to send them to Constantinople
where they can be properly looked after, or do whatever you
think is best for them."
The Commandant would then produce the Cook. His
story to the doctors was to be as follows:
" By the Commandant's orders I attended Hill and Jones
in their imprisonment, as they were not allowed to
communicate with other prisoners. I took them their food (from
Posh Castle). At first I noticed nothing peculiar. After
a few days, in brushing out their room, I began to find bits
of meat hidden away in the corners. I used to give these to
my chickens. I do not know why the meat was thus thrown
away, because the prisoners cannot talk Turkish. I also
found charred remains of bread and other food in the stove.
A few days ago the prisoners forbade me to sweep out their
room. I do not know why. They usually look depressed and
silent. That is all I know."
Then the Pimple:
" I know both Jones and Hill well. When they first arrived
they were both smart and soldierlike. They have gradually
become more and more untidy and slovenly. For over a
year they have been studying occultism, and I know they
achieved some extraordinary results, e.g., they got the first
news that came to Yozgad of the taking of Baghdad. There
were many other things. At one time spirit-communiques
were published in the camp. All the other prisoners knew
of it and many believed in it. The first peculiarity I noticed
was that occasionally one or the other of them would write an
extraordinary letter, abusing certain officers and the camp in
general.(Of course no such letters were ever written. Moise was willing
to lie as much as the Spook wanted.)
I thought at the time these letters were due to
drink, and tore them up. This was many months ago. I
remonstrated with them for using such language about their
fellow-officers.
I do not know when they began what they
call 'telepathy,' but I used to come upon them studying
together. I was present at their public exhibition (description
follows). Nobody has ever given me a satisfactory explanation
of their powers.
When Hill and Jones were imprisoned on March 7th it
was my duty to visit them every day and try to elicit the
name of their correspondent, which the Commandant wanted.
Sometimes they were rude to me, sometimes polite, sometimes
sullen. At first they got food sent in from Major Baylay's
mess (Posh Castle). I now remember that soon after they
were locked up they began to ask me if Major Baylay was
abusing them. About 20th March or a little before they
began to beg to be allowed to cook their own food, or for the
Turks to cook it. When I asked why, they first said they did
not want to cause trouble in the camp. I saw Major Baylay
and Price, of the Posh Castle mess, who said it was no trouble,
and they would continue sending food. When I told this to
Hill and Jones they got excited, insisted that they must not
give trouble, and finally told me in confidence that Major
Baylay was putting poison in the meat, and that they were
afraid he would poison the other food too. I thought they
were joking about the poison, and that the real reason was they
did not wish to give trouble, but I arranged for them to cook
their own food. I now understand that they did not intend
it as a joke-their belief explains why they hid the meat which
the Cook found.
" On the 1st of April the order came from Constantinople
to release them. When I told them of this they were very
frightened. They asked me to keep the door locked, and said
this order did not really come from Constantinople, but was
an arrangement between Major Baylay and the postmaster
who had been paid ten liras to forge a telegram. They said
the real object of the telegram was to stop them writing to the
British War Office about Baylay (it forbade them write any
letters), and to get them outside so that they could be murdered.
This alarmed me, as they were obviously serious. I
fetched in the English camp doctor, but did not tell him my
suspicions about their sanity. I was present during the
doctor's examination, and noticed the two prisoners were
reticent and said nothing about Baylay. The doctor seemed
puzzled. He paid several visits and was vague when I
questioned him. He mentioned neurasthenia, but when I
asked if that meant nervous trouble he shut up and did not
answer. He was obviously alarmed about them. To please
them and give the doctor a chance, the door was kept locked
for several days, in spite of the War Office order to liberate
them. Then I had to inform the camp that they were free.
Hill and Jones were terrified and begged me not to allow any
English officers to visit them.
When visitors came Hill and Jones got very excited.
They were rude to many of their friends. They complained
to me that these officers had been sent by Major Baylay and
Colonel Maule to murder them. They complained that one
officer-Captain Colbeck-had asked them to come out, with
the object of killing them, and when they refused to go had
threatened to take them by force.(We had to provide against
the danger of independent enquiry by
the doctors amongst our fellow-prisoners. Therefore, wherever
possible, we distorted facts so that enquiry, if made, would reveal as a
basis for our delusions some incident which had really occurred and
which had (apparently) been misunderstood by us. Thus, in the
present instance, Colbeck did threaten (jokingly, of course) to take us
out by force when we refused his invitation to tea.)
I found out that the truth was their visitor was alarmed by
their altered appearance, and thought it would do them good to have tea in
Baylay's garden. Hill and Jones thought they were being
enticed out to be killed. They also complained to me that
Baylay had visited them, and had scattered poison about the
room, and had poisoned some bread, which they had to burn
in consequence. When asked why they would not allow the
Cook to sweep the room they said if he did so it would liberate
the poison which Baylay had put in the dust. They next
began to distrust the English doctor and to think he was an
emissary of Baylay's. They pretended to take his medicine,
but confided to me that they dared not do so, and showed
me a bottle of Dover Powder which the doctor had given
them, pointing out that it was labelled 'POISON.' "
(O'Farrell had provided us with medicines for his
" neurasthenia " diagnosis, but had instructed us not to take
them.)
When Constantinople, in their telegram of April 1st,
prohibited Hill and Jones from writing to England, they
began to write extraordinary letters to high Turkish officials
and also to the Sultan. This alarmed me. I could get no
satisfaction from the English doctor. I therefore asked you
gentlemen to tell me the early symptoms of madness "-(This
was true enough. Moise had done so, acting under
instructions from the Spook)-" and learned enough to make me
fairly certain that the English doctor was concealing the truth.
With the Commandant's consent I then questioned the
English doctor." (This interview was also ordered by the
Spook, O'Farrell having been previously warned by us.)
" He was again vague, said the two men could be treated and
looked after here, and appeared to be afraid of a Turkish
asylum. I reported what O'Farrell had said to the
Commandant, and he decided he must have proper medical advice,
as they are gradually getting more violent."
Moise was then to produce the letters we had written to
the " high Turkish officials." The Spook told us these letters
were written by himself. We pretended, at the time of
writing, that we were " under control " and quite
unconscious of what we were writing. Moise and the Commandant,
of course, quite believed this.
I give below two specimens of the many letters we wrote.
In my letters the handwriting was very scrawly and hurried,
there were frequent repetitions, and occasionally words
were left out. The first is to the Sultan, the second to
Enver Pasha. Hill was supposed to be forced to write
by me.
" To the Light of the World, the Ruler of the Universe, and
Protector of the Poor, the Sword & Breastplate of the True
Faith, his most gracious Majesty Abdul Hamid of Turkey,
Greeting : This is the humble petition of two of your Majesty's
prisoners of War now at Yozgad in Anatolia. We humbly
ask your most gracious protection. We remain here in
danger of our lives owing to the plots of the camp against us.
They are all in league against us. Baylay is determined to
poison us. He tried to drag us into the garden to murder us.
He is in league with all the camp against us. We cannot eat
the food they send because he puts poison in it. Colonel
Maule has said to the Commandant he is going to get rid of us.
Also the doctor who was our friend until Baylay persuaded
him to give us poison instead of medicine. Please protect us.
The Commandant is our friend. When Baylay tried to he
said no and put us in a nice house please give him a high
decoration for his kindness we cannot go out because Baylay
will kill us and all the camp hate us who shall in duty bound
ever pray for your gracious Majesty.
E.H. JONES. C. W. HILL."
" DEAR MR. ENVER PASHA,
I don't suppose your Excellency will know who I am,
but Jones says he knows you. He met you in Mosul. Will you
help us ? The other prisoners want to kill us. The ringleader
is Major Baylay. He gave a letter to the Turks and said we
wrote it. He thought the Commandant would hang us.
But the Commandant was very kind to us and gave us a
house to ourselves and locked the door so that Baylay could
not get at us. We were very happy until Baylay started
poisoning our food. Then we the Commandant said we
could cook our own food and now he leaves the door open
and we are in terror lest Major Baylay comes and kills us he
did come one day and tried to entice us into the garden and he
now sends the doctor to give us poison the doctor pretends it is
medicine but we know better. Will you please write to the
Commandant and ask him to lock the door.
Your obedient servants,
C. W. HILL. E. H. JONES."
Such was the case that was laid before the two official
Turkish doctors in Yozgad, Major Osman and Captain Suhbi
Fahri, by the principal officials of the prisoners' camp on the
morning of April 13th, 1918. We knew nothing of the medical
attainments of Major Osman or Captain Suhbi Fahri, but we
calculated that if the officers in charge of a camp of German
prisoners in England made similar statements about two
prisoners to the local English doctors, and told them (as the
Turks were told) that the German doctor in the camp was
trying to conceal the true state of affairs with a view to keeping
the two men from the horrors of an English asylum, it ought
to create an atmosphere most favourable to malingerers. In
Yozgad we had the additional advantage that the Turkish
doctors were very jealous of O'Farrell, whose medical skill had
created a great impression amongst the local officials, and
were only too delighted at a chance of proving him wrong.
But the outstanding merit of the scheme was that it avoided
implicating O'Farrell. We would face the Constantinople
specialists purely on the recommendation of the Turks, and
O'Farrell's disagreement with the local doctors would make
him perfectly safe if we were found out. Also O'Farrell's
whole attitude towards us, his fellow-prisoners, would help us
to deceive the specialists, because it would be a strong
argument against the theory that we were malingering, for it
would be natural to suppose that the English doctor would
seek to help rather than hinder us to leave Yozgad. The
Turks are not sufficiently conversant with Poker to recognize
a bluff of the second degree.
The Spook had promised the Commandant to place us
under control and make us seem mad when the doctors visited
us. It succeeded to perfection, for we had left no stone
unturned to deceive the Turks.
We were unshaven, unwashed, and looked utterly disreputable.
For over three weeks we had been living on a
very short ration of dry bread and tea. For the last three
days we had eaten next to nothing, and by the 13th April we
were literally starving. We sat up all night on the 12th, that
our eyes might be dull when the doctors came, and we took
heavy doses of phenacetin at frequent intervals, to slow
down our pulses. All night we kept the windows and doors
shut, and the stove red-hot and roaring, and smoked hard, so
that by morning the atmosphere was indescribable. We
scattered filth about the room, which had already remained a
week unswept, and strewed it with slop-pails, empty tins, torn
paper and clothing. Near the door we upset a bucket of
dirty water ; in the centre of the floor was a heap of soiled
linen, and close beside it what looked like the remains of a
morning meal. Over all we sprinkled a precious bottle of
Elliman's Embrocation, adding a new odour to the awful
atmosphere. An hour before the doctors were due, Hill
began smoking strong plug tobacco, which always makes him
sick. The Turks, being Turks, were ninety minutes late.
Hill kept puffing valiantly at his pipe, and by the time they
arrived he had the horrible, greeny-yellow hue that is known
to those who go down to the sea in ships.
It was a lovely spring morning outside. The snow had
gone. The countryside, fresh from the rains, was bathed in
sunlight, and a fine fresh breeze was blowing. We heard
Moise and the doctors coming up our stairs, laughing and
chatting together. Captain Suhbi Fahri, still talking, opened
the door of our room-and stopped in the middle of a sentence.
It takes a pretty vile atmosphere to astonish a Turk, but the
specimen of " fug " we had so laboriously prepared took his
breath away. The two doctors stood at the door and talked
in whispers to Moise.
Hill, with a British warm up to his ears and a balaclava
on his tousled head, sat huddled motionless over the red-hot
stove, warming his hands. On the other side of the stove I
wrote furiously, dashing off sheet after sheet of manuscript
and hurling them on to the floor.
Their examination of us was a farce. If their minds were
not already made up before they entered, the state of our
room and our appearance completely satisfied them. Major
Osman never left the door. Captain Suhbi Fahri tiptoed
silently round the room, peering into our scientist-trapping
slop-pails and cag-heaps, until he got behind my chair, when
I whirled round on him in a frightened fury, and he retreated
suddenly to the door again. Neither of them sought to
investigate our reflexes-the test we feared most of all-but
they contented themselves with a few questions which were
put through Moise in whispers, and translated to us by him.
They began with me.
MAJOR OSMAN. " What are you writing ? "
SELF (nervously). " It is not finished yet." The question
was repeated several times ; each time I answered in the same
words, and immediately began writing again.
MAJOR OSMAN. " What is it? "
SELF. " A plan." (Back to my writing.
More whispering between the doctors at the door.)
MAJOR OSMAN. " What plan ? "
SELF. " A scheme."
MAJOR OSMAN. " What scheme ? "
SELF. " A scheme to divide up England at the end of the war.
A scheme for the abolition of England! Go away!
You are bothering me."
(More whispering at the door.)
MAJOR OSMAN. " Why do you want to do that ? "
SELF. " Because the English hate us."
MAJOR OSMAN. " Your father is English. Does he hate
you?"
SELF. " Yes. He has not written to me for a long time.
He puts poison in my parcels. He is in league with Major
Baylay. It is all Major Baylay's doing."
I grew more and more excited, and burst into a torrent of
talk about my good friend Baylay's " enmity," waving my
arms and raving furiously. The two doctors looked on aghast,
and I noticed Captain Subhi Fahri changed his grip on his
silver-headed cane to the thin end. It took them quite a time
to quieten me down again. At last I gathered up my scattered
manuscript and resumed my writing. Hill had never moved
or paid the slightest attention to the pandemonium. They
turned to him.
MAJOR OSMAN. " Why are you keeping the room so hot ?
It is a warm day."
(Moise had to call Hill by name and repeat the question
several times before Hill appeared to realize that he was being
addressed. Then he raised a starving, grey-green, woebegone
face to his questioners.)
" Cold," he said, and huddled an inch nearer the stove.
" Why don't you go out ? " asked Major Osman.
" Baylay," said Hill, without lifting his head.
" Why don't you sweep the floor ? "
" Poison in dust."
" Why is there poison in the dust ? "
" Baylay," said the monotonous voice again.
" Is there anything you want ? " Major Osman asked.
Hill lifted his head once more.
" Please tell the Commandant to lock the door and you
go away," then he turned his back on his questioners.
The two doctors, followed by Moise, tiptoed down the
stairs. We heard the outer gate clang, listened carefully
to make sure they had gone, and then let loose the laughter
we had bottled up so long. For both the Turkish doctors
had clearly been scared out of their wits by us.
Moise came back later with our certificates of lunacy. They
were imposing documents, written in a beautiful hand, and
each decorated with two enormous seals. The following is a
translation as it was written out by the Pimple at our request:
" HILL. This officer is in a very calm condition, thinking.
His face is long, not very fat. Breath heavy. He has
been seen very thinking. He gave very short answers.
There is no (? life) in his answers. There is a nervousness
in his present condition. He states that his life is in danger
and he wants the door to be locked because a Major is going
to kill him. By his answers and by the fact he is not taking
any food, it seems that he is suffering from melancholia. We
beg to report that it is necessary he be sent to Constantinople
for treatment and observation and a final examination by a
specialist."
" JONES. This officer appears to be a furious. Weak
constitution. His hands were shaking and was busy writing
when we went to see him. When asked what he was writing
he answered that it was a plan for the abolition of England
because the English were his enemies ; even his father was
on their part because he was not sending letters. His life
is in danger. A Major wants to kill him and has put poison
in his meat. That is why he is not eating. He requested
nobody may be allowed to come and the door may be locked.
According to the statement of the orderly and other officers
this officer has been over-studying spiritualism. He says
that the doctor was giving him poison instead of medicine.
According to his answers and his present condition he seems
to suffer from a derangement in his brains. We beg to
report that it is necessary to send him to Constantinople for
observation and treatment."
Both reports were signed and sealed by
" Major Osman, Bacteriologist in charge of Infectious
Diseases at Yozgad."
" Captain Suhbi Fahri, District Doctor in charge
of Infectious Diseases at Yozgad."
"Your control," said Moise to us, "was wonderful-
marvellous. Your very expressions had altered. The doctors
said your looks were 'very bad, treacherous, haine.' You
Jones, have a fixed delusion-(idee fixee)-and Hill
has melancholia, they say. They have ordered that a sentry be posted
to prevent your committing suicide and that you and your
room be thoroughly cleaned, by force if necessary. Do
you remember the doctors' visit ? "
Our memories, we said, were utterly blank, and we got the
Pimple to relate what had occurred.
" It was truly a glorious exhibition of the power of our
Spook," the Pimple ended, " and the Commandant is greatly
pleased. I trust you suffer no ill-effects ? "
We were only very tired, and very anxious that the doctors'
suggestions as to cleaning up should be carried out. Sentries
were called in. Our bedding and possessions were moved
to a clean room, and we were led out into the yard and made
to bathe in the horse-trough. Then we slept the sleep of the
successful conspirator till evening.
CHAPTER XXII
HOW THE SPOOK CORRESPONDED WITH THE TURKISH WAR
OFFICE AND GOT A REPLY
I WOKE at sunset to find Doc. O'Farrell bending over me.
" Doctors been here ? " he asked in a hoarse whisper.
I nodded.
" And what's the result ? "
" Did you see the sentry at the door ? " I asked.
" Don't tell me you're found out," Doc. moaned,
I'll never forgive myself."
" All right, Doc. dear! The sentry's there to prevent us
committing suicide! "
Doc. stared a moment, and then doubled up with laughter
that had to be silent because of the Turk outside.
" Like to see the medical reports ? " I asked, handing him
the Pimple's translation.
He began to read. At the first sentence he burst into a
loud guffaw, and thrust the reports hastily out of sight.
Luckily the gamekeeper at the door paid no attention. The
Doc. apologized for his indiscretion and managed to read the
rest in silence.
" Think we've a chance ? " Hill asked, as he finished.
" Ye're a pair of unmitigated blackguards," said the Doc.,
"an' I'm sorry for the leech that's up against you. There's
only one thing needed to beat the best specialist in Berlin or
anywhere else, but as you both aim at getting to England
you can't do it."
" What is that ? " we asked.
" One of ye commit suicide ! " said the Doc. laughing.
" By Jove! That's a good idea!" I cried. " We'll both
try it."
" Don't be a fool! " he began sharply, then---seeing the
merriment in our eyes-" Oh! be natural ! Be natural an'
you'll bamboozle Aesculapius himself."
He dodged the pillow Hill threw at him and clattered down the stairs chuckling
to himself.
Within five minutes of his going we decided to hang
ourselves-" within limits "-on the way to Constantinople.
A little later the Pimple arrived, with the compliments
and thanks of the Commandant to the Spook, and would the
Spook be so kind as to dictate a telegram about us to the War
Office ? The Spook was most obliging, and somewhere
amongst the Turkish archives at Constantinople the following
telegram reposes:
" For over a year two officer prisoners here have spent
much time in study of spiritualism and telepathy, and have
shown increasing signs of mental derangement which recently
have become very noticeable. I therefore summoned our
military doctors Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri who
after examination diagnosed melancholia in the case of Hill
and fixed delusion in the case of Jones and advised their
despatch to Constantinople for observation and treatment.
Doctors warn me these two officers may commit suicide or violence.
I respectfully request I may be allowed to send
them as soon as possible. Transport will be available in a
few days when prisoners from Changri arrive. If permitted
I shall send them with necessary escort under charge of my
Interpreter who can watch and look after them en route and
give any further information required by the specialists.
Until his return may I have the services of the Changri
Interpreter ? My report together with the report of the
doctors, follows by post. Submitted for favour of urgent
orders."
This spook-telegram was sent by the Commandant on
14th April, 1918, at 5 p.m. The same night the Spook dictated
a report on our case, of a character so useful to the Constantinople
specialists that Kiazim was thanked for it by his
superiors at headquarters. The spook-report (which should
also be among the Constantinople archives) is as follows:
" In reference to my wire of 14th April I beg to report as
follows: As will be seen from the enclosed medical reports
written by Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri, the
Military Medical Officers of Yozgad, there are two officers
in this camp who are suffering from grave mental disease.
The doctors recommend their despatch to Constantinople for
observation and treatment, and I beg to urge that this be
done as early as possible, as the doctors warn me they may
commit suicide or violence, and I am anxious to avoid any
such trouble in this camp.
In addition to the information contained in the medical
reports I beg to submit the following facts for guidance and
consideration. The two officers are Lieut. Hill and Lieut.
Jones. The former came here with the prisoners from Katia.
The latter from Kut-el-Amara. I have made enquiries
about both. I find Lieut. Hill has always been a remarkably
silent and solitary man. He has the reputation of never
speaking unless spoken to, and then only answers in monosyllables.
During his stay here he has been growing more
and more morose and gloomy. Lieut. Jones is regarded by
his fellow-prisoners as eccentric and peculiar. I myself have
noticed an increasing slovenliness in his dress since he came
here; I learn that he has done a number of little things which
caused his comrades to regard him as peculiar. For instance,
sixteen months ago he spent a week sliding down the stairs
in his house and calling himself the 'Toboggan King.' On
another occasion when receiving a parcel from England in
this office he expressed disgust at the 'rubbish' which was
sent him, and drawing out a pocket-knife he slashed into
ribbons a valuable waterproof sheet which had been included
in his parcel. This was about a year ago.
(This was founded on fact. The Turkish officials who were
unpacking my parcel said waterproof sheets were "yessack" (forbidden),
and seized it for their own use. A tug-of-war developed
between me and the Cook for possession of the sheet, and when the
officer in charge ordered me to surrender it, and showed signs of
joining in the struggle, I cut it into ribbons to render it valueless to our
enemies. This was in the early days, before the treasure-hunt began.)
Such appears to be the reputation of these two officers in the camp.
About eighteen months ago a number of officers began to
take up spiritualism. Among these Jones was prominent.
He asserted he was in communication with the dead and for
some time he even published the news he thus obtained. I do
not know when Hill began, but he also was a keen spiritualist.
They have both spent a great deal of their time in this pursuit.
Whether or not this has anything to do with their present
condition I cannot say. Many other officers did the same and
I saw no reason to interfere as I considered it a legitimate
amusement.
These two officers also appear to have studied what they
call 'telepathy,' and about two or three months ago they
gave an exhibition of thought-reading, part of which my
Interpreter saw and which considerably surprised their fellow-
officers. Later Hill and Jones asserted they were in communication
(telepathic) with people in Europe and elsewhere
as well as with the dead. Early in March, as I reported to
you in my letter of the 18th March, Jones and Hill were found
guilty on a charge of attempting to communicate with some
person in Yozgad whose name they refused to give, and as I
reported, I confined them in a separate house and forbade any
intercourse with the rest of the camp. I allowed them to have
their food sent in from Major Baylay's house, which is near.
While in confinement these two officers appear to have
got the idea that their comrades in the camp disliked them,
and this idea developed into delusion and terror that they
were going to be murdered. Their condition became so grave
that I called in the two medical officers, who had no hesitation
after examining them, in recommending their despatch to
Constantinople.
Meantime, until their departure, by the advice of Major
Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri, I have posted a special
guard over the patients to prevent them from doing themselves or others any harm.
With regard to the journey, as reported in my telegram
I beg leave to send them under charge of my Interpreter with
a sufficient escort, as the sufferers are accustomed to him and
he will be able to understand their wants, and especially
because knowing all they have done he may be of assistance
to the specialists in their enquiry. Until his return I would
like the services of the Changri Interpreter, but if necessary,
for a short time, I could communicate any orders that may be
necessary direct as several British officers here know a little
Turkish."
The report was posted on the 15th April. On the 16th the
Commandant received from Constantinople the following
telegram in answer to the Spook's wire :
"Number 887. 15th April. Urgent. Very important.
Answer to your cipher wire No. 77. Under your proposed
arrangement send to the Hospital of Haidar Pasha the two
English Officers who have to be under observation.
Communicate with the Commandant Changri.-KEMAL."
" Hurrah!" said Moise, when he brought us the news,
" the Spook has controlled Constantinople!"
CHAPTER XXIII
IN WHICH THE SPOOK PERSUADES MOISE TO VOLUNTEER FOR
ACTIVE SERVICE
THE telegram from Kemal Pasha, ordering us to be sent
to Constantinople, arrived on the 16th April. The
prisoners from Changri, bringing with them the Interpreter
who was to take the place of the Pimple, reached Yozgad on
the 24th. Hill and I left for Angora on the 26th.
The Spook explained that though we would probably read
AAA's thoughts and discover the position of the third clue
as soon as we got to Constantinople, it was essential for our
safety that the Constantinople specialists should, for a time,
think us slightly deranged and in need of a course of treatment.
Therefore it behoved Moise to endeavour to bring
this about by reporting to the Constantinople authorities the
things which the Spook would tell him to report, and learning
his lesson carefully.
" What will happen to the mediums," the Pimple asked,
" if the specialists do not think them slightly deranged ? "
" Jail, mon petit cheri chou!" said the Spook. " Jail for
malingering, and they will not return to Yozgad to continue
our experiments. You must play your part."
The Pimple's part, the Spook explained, was to observe
and note carefully everything the mediums said and did. At
the request of the Spook, as soon as the Yozgad doctors had
declared us mad, the Commandant publicly ordered Moise to
make notes of our behaviour, for the benefit of the doctors at
the Haidar Pasha hospital. The Spook declared that from
now on the mediums would be kept " under control " so as to
appear mad, for control being a species of hypnotism the
oftener we were placed in that condition the easier it would
be for the Spook to impose its will on us in Constantinople to
deceive the specialists. Thus, while the Turks thought the
Spook was practising on us, making us appear mad, we were
really practising our madness on the Turks. Doc. O'Farrell
visited us every day. The Turks thought he too was " under
control " and that he was puzzled by our symptoms. In
point of fact he was coaching us very carefully in what things
were fit and proper for a " melancholic " and a " furious " to
do and say, for we had decided to adhere to the two distinct
types of madness diagnosed by the Yozgad doctors. What he
secretly taught us each morning, the Spook made us do " under
control " each evening, when it was duly noted down by the
Pimple. These notes were revised and corrected by the
Spook at regular intervals. In this way we piled up a goodly
store of evidence as to our insanity.
Every evening, after the rest of the camp had been locked
up, we held seances, and at every seance the poor Pimple was
put through his lesson. Over and over again he was made to
recite to the spook-board what he had to say to the Constantinople doctors.
It made a strange picture : Moise,
leaning over the piece of tin that was his Delphic oracle, told
his tale as he would tell it at Haidar Pasha. His face used to
be lined with anxiety lest he should go wrong and incur the
wrath of the Unknown. Hill and I, pale and thin with
starvation, and the strain of our long deception, sat motionless
(and, as Moise thought, unconscious), with our fingers resting
on the glass and every sense strained to detect the slightest
error in the Pimple's story or in his tone or manner of telling
it. And when the mistakes came (as to begin with they did
with some frequency), the glass would bang out the Spook's
wrath with every sign of anger and there would follow the
trembling apologies and stammered emendations of the
unhappy Interpreter. Hill and I had got beyond the stage of
wanting to laugh, for we were working now at our last hope.
It was absolutely essential that the Pimple's story should be
without flaw.
In order to minimize the chance of error, the Spook expounded
to the Pimple every bit of medical lore which Doc.
O'Farrell had imparted to us, for he was less likely to go wrong
if he knew what the doctors were driving at in their questions.
Indeed, there were only three points on which we kept him
in ignorance. These were (i) that there was no Spook and
we were not " under control " but acting ; (ii) that O'Farrell
was helping us, and (iii) that our object was " exchange " and
not " treasure." The Spook warned him that it would be
much harder to hoodwink the Constantinople doctors than it
had been to deceive the local men.
" Entre nous," it said, " O'Farrell and the doctors here
know nothing about mental diseases. To deceive Major
Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri I made the mediums behave
in the way an ignorant man thinks lunatics behave. But when
we are up against the Constantinople doctors, and especially
the Germans, it will be a different business. You will be
surprised, mon vieux. My method will be to make the
mediums appear quite sane to the lay eye, but they will have little
lapses and little mannerisms which the specialists will note."
The Spook " controlled " us in turn to show Moise what he
meant by " mannerisms." It first made Hill sit with a vacant
stare of his face, twiddling his thumbs and pleating and
unpleating the edge of his coat. Then it threw me into a
trance where I picked imaginary threads and hairs off my own
clothes or the clothes of the person I happened to be talking
to, and twisted a button ceaselessly, between finger and thumb.
" All that," the Spook explained to Moise, " appears
quite sane to you. You will not recognize in it a sign of
madness, nor should you put it down in your notes, but a
doctor who knows his job will remark it at once. If he asks
you, 'Have you noticed that before ? ' be sure to say, 'Oh
yes, he is always doing that!' in a tone as if you did not know
what was behind the question, or that such action had any
significance.
Again, as to the Pimple's manner of telling his story, the
Spook was very emphatic. " I want you to tell your story in
such a way that you will appear not to know what is important.
You might begin by saying you do not know what the doctors
want to know about. Let them question you, as far as
possible. Don't recite it like a set piece, but get them interested.
Speak so as to entice questions. Now, one word of
explanation and warning: you will find that the mediums
will deny a great many things you say they have done. That
will be understood by the doctors as a madman's cunning,
and at the same time it will prove that you and the Commandant
are not in league with the mediums. So do not be
alarmed by their denials."
One thing worried Moise greatly, and at length he ventured
to ask the board, "Won't they think it funny that two
officers go mad at the same time ? "
"Yes," said the Spook, "they will. If you say they
'went mad at the same time' it will spoil everything. I have
never said they went mad at the same time."
"That is true, Sir," Moise agreed, "but what am I to
think ? "
" They were discovered to be mad at the same time by
the Yozgad doctors, but the important point is that for the
last two years they have been gradually going mad quite
separately and independently. It was the fact of their being
regarded as peculiar by the other officers that threw them
together, combined with their common interest in spiritualism
and telepathy. What you should say is that, looking back
in the light of what you have since learned from the doctors,
it is your belief that the mediums have always been mad,
ever since you knew them, and you cannot account for their
peculiarities in any other way. Recently their madness
became more pronounced, which caused the Commandant to
call in medical advice. This is why their past history is
so important. Do you see ? "
" Yes, Sir," said Moise meekly.
When at last by dint of ceaseless tuition Moise had thoroughly
grasped the situation, and the nature of the story
he was to tell, the Spook held an examination and asked
every conceivable question we and O'Farrell thought the
Constantinople doctors might set. Moise passed the test
with great credit ; and we felt we were ready for the road.
In addition to teaching the Pimple, the Spook had a good
deal of " cleaning up " to do. We wanted to leave our
comrades as comfortably off as possible. Many officers had been
complaining of the non-arrival of remittances from England,
and we suspected that a good deal of the missing money had
stuck to the palms of the Commandant on the way between
post office and camp. By sheer good luck the Commandant
asked the Spook whom he should send to the post office for
the money whilst Moise had gone. He complained that he
could not trust any of the other officials to bring it to him.
The Spook advised him to send a British officer from the
camp, along with any one of the Turkish officials. Whether
or not this was done after our departure we do not know.
The camp was crowded, and would be still more crowded
when the Changri men arrived. We had long since decided
to get more house-room for our comrades. Across the road
were two small houses which we had planned to add to the
camp. The fact that one of them was inhabited by the witch
who read the cards for Kiazim in hours of stress merely made
us additionally keen. For we objected to rivals. The
Spook, therefore, turned her out of the house just before the
Changri people arrived, and Hill and I went into it. The
second house was already empty. The Commandant agreed
to hand over these two houses to the camp after we were
gone, but Colonel Maule, being ignorant of our plans, nearly
spoiled everything by arranging for the disposal of the Changri
prisoners in the accommodation already at his command.
Kiazim at once converted the second house into a guard-room
for the sentries, and it took a good deal of diplomacy to make
him promise to hand over the one we were in to our fellow-
prisoners. However, we managed it.
We felt something ought to be done to Kiazim as a
punishment for his cowardice over the affair of X. The Spook
therefore informed him that the time had come for him to go
" on diet," and although we did not reduce his food to our own
starvation rations, we gave him a pretty thin time. Whether
on account of this, or for some other reason, Kiazim had a
recurrence of his biliary colic. He asked the Spook for a
remedy-indeed, he suspected the Spook of bringing on the
attack! In reply the Spook offered to call up the shade of
Lord Lister for a consultation. The Commandant was so
delighted with Lister's advice, that we felt much tempted to
make the Spook demand a hundred-guinea fee.
The Commandant's wife bad been boasting round Yozgad
of a coming access of wealth, and this in spite of a previous
warning by the Spook. Kiazim was therefore made to give
her a thoroughly good scolding, and forbidden to speak to her
for a fortnight.
Then there was the Cook. Orders had come from Constantinople
to demobilize men of 50 years and over. The
Cook fell within that class, but the Commandant was unwilling to
" demob." him without the permission of the Spook.
After some delay, the Spook graciously granted permission to
Kiazim to free the Cook from all military duties, but insisted
that he should continue to attend to the domestic wants of
the mediums. For this both the Cook and the Commandant
thanked the Spook, while Hill and I listened with grave faces.
A matter which rankled a little was that the Commandant
was still in possession of the two Turkish gold liras, which he
had dug up with the clues. The Spook accordingly ordered a
hacksaw and a small vice. These were borrowed by the Turks
from a goldsmith in the town. The Spook then made Hill
cut each coin into three equal parts, and gave Hill and myself
the parts of the coins bearing the dates, while the Cook and
Pimple each got a section, and the remaining two portions
went to the Commandant, one for himself and one for his
wife, " These portions," said the Spook, " bind you all
together in my brotherhood to be faithful and true to my
behests. That is one function. The other function is to
deceive AAA ; for these are the exact duplicates of the
original tokens. You must wear these tokens as the originals
were worn-round your necks. I prefer not to explain yet
how they will be used to deceive AAA, because that is still a
long way off, but you must always wear the tokens to be ready."
The Turks readily obeyed, and so far as I know they are
still wearing their tokens. They did not realize our object.
It was to render comparatively useless the only thing of value
the Spook had " discovered," and at the same time to provide
us with an additional proof of Kiazim's confederacy with us.
Should the occasion arise for us to denounce him it would
cause him some trouble to explain how we all came to be
wearing portions of the same coin if we were not in some sort
of league together.
The Pimple was justly unpopular with the camp.
Everybody knew he took toll of our parcels before they were
delivered to us, and in addition to his thieving he had an
objectionable habit of coming round the recipients of parcels after
delivery, and begging here some tea and there some chocolate,
and so on. It was unwise to refuse, because if you did he
would see to it that the next package of books that arrived
would be sent back to Constantinople for re-censoring, and
books were very precious to us prisoners. Had he chosen he
could have done much to render our imprisonment less irksome,
but he knew he was top dog for the time being, and
took advantage of his position.
The Spook therefore set about permanently ridding the
camp of their pet aversion, and it did so by fanning the flame
of ambition that was consuming the poor fool. " You are
wasting time in Yozgad," it said; " nothing comes to him
who does not ask. You are clever ! Strike out for your
betterment. Throw modesty to the winds." (Heaven knows
he had little to spare !) " You are a good lad. Make other
people realize it. Do not stagnate in Yozgad while great
careers are being made elsewhere. Why don't you try to get
to the heart of things ? " (Moise pleaded the cost of living
at Constantinople, and the Spook went on) : " A crust of
bread where there are big men to watch you earn it is better
than rich meats in a wilderness. I am taking you to Constantinople,
I have arranged for a man in your place here.
Mind you stay there."
Moise thanked the Spook warmly for its advice and begged
for instructions as to how he could stay at the capital. He
was ordered on arrival at Constantinople to go to the War
Office, say he knew Turkey was being hard pressed by its
enemies and demand to be sent to the fighting line. This,
the Spook assured him, would obtain him his commission.
The unhappy Pimple was horror-struck at the idea of having
to fight, but the Spook promised that he would be quite safe,
and as soon as he got to Constantinople the little ass did as
we desired. The Turkish War Office was so astonished at
obtaining a volunteer at this stage in the war that they gave
him a commission straight off, granted him a month's leave
to wind up his affairs and then clapped him into the officers'
training school, where he was fed on skilly and drilled for
eight hours a day. He utilized his first afternoon off duty to
come to me in the mad ward of Haidar Pasha hospital, where
he literally wept out his sufferings into my unsympathetic
ear and implored the Spook to get him better treatment. The
Spook reminded him he had offered to share the starvation of
the mediums and informed him that he was now " doing his
bit," and it is fair to the Pimple to record that when he heard
the verdict he dried his tears, held his head high,
and announced that he was proud to do his duty by our great cause;
henceforward, he said, he would endure the torments of bad
food, bad lodging and hard physical exercise without a moan.
He never complained again, but he sometimes referred with
regret to the luxuries of his old post at Yozgad-and we felt
the camp was avenged.
One other thing we did for the camp. On the 24th the
Changri prisoners arrived. We knew from the Turks that
the reason for their coming to Yozgad was their refusal to
give parole not to escape. Several of them-Le Patourel,
Lowndes, Anderson, Johnstone, and Cochrane (of " 450
Miles to Freedom " fame) came to see us and told us that
practically the whole party intended to escape. We were
invited to join, but our transport was already ordered by the
Spook and it was too late to alter our plans had we wished it.
Then we learned from the Pimple that the Changri Commandant
(who accompanied the new prisoners to Yozgad) had
warned Kiazim that they were a set of desperate characters
who were undoubtedly planning to escape. Kiazim had
therefore made up his mind to lock up the camp again under
the conditions which had prevailed when we first arrived
at Yozgad ; but before doing so he wished to consult the
Spook. Would we grant him one last seance before leaving
Yozgad ?
We did. Our last seance in Yozgad was held on the night
of the 24th April, 1918, and almost the last question with
which the Spook dealt (I quote the record) was
" The Commandant presents his compliments to the
Control and wishes to know if any of the Changri prisoners
have the idea of escaping."
" Certainly," was the reply. " Every man would escape
if he thought it possible, but Yozgad is as nearly impossible
as any place can be, and they are not fools. Their opinion
is that escape is too difficult to justify them in bringing the
rest into trouble."
The Spook went on to point out that the more hours out
of every twenty-four the camp was on parole the less time
would there be for escape ; for this reason alone it was
advisable to grant as many extra liberties as possible to those
who were willing to give parole not to escape while actually
enjoying these extra liberties. The Commandant might be
perfectly confident that every such parole would be kept.
But if close confinement were again imposed there would
certainly be escapes.
" Let the Sup. tell them they are welcome to try to escape
except when on 'extra liberties,' but they have been warned
of what will happen to the rest. I do not say nobody will try,
but it is most unlikely, especially if they are kept contented."
Just before we left Yozgad we learned (from Le Patourel,
if I remember right) that the escape was planned for early
June - six weeks ahead. The Spook immediately sent word
to the Commandant that it guaranteed there would be no
escape or attempt to escape for at least three months from the
date of our departure from Yozgad. This gave the Changri
men a free hand until the 26th July, by which date we felt
sure they would have made the attempt.
In point of fact, they did not get away until the night of August
7th-8th, and at the end of July, when the Spook's guarantee expired,
the plotters got a bad fright. The authors of
"450 Miles to Freedom" say : 'Unfortunately the Turks also appeared to have got
wind of it (i.e., the intention to escape). For the last week of July,
sentries were visited and awakened with unheard-of frequency.
Even the Commandant himself occasionally visited the different
houses after dark. In the case of one house an extra sentry was
suddenly posted in the garden."
The intention to escape was really
known to the Turks from the moment the Changri men arrived at
Yozgad. Moise informed me at Constantinople that the tunnel at
Changri had been discovered and reported after our departure from
Yozgad. I believe the sudden activity which alarmed our friends in
July was due to the expiry of our guarantee. Hill and I apologize for
not making the period four months-we did our best!
It is of course impossible to say what would have happened
had Kiazim been left to his own resources. This much is
certain : on the morning of the 24th April he intended to keep
the whole camp, and especially the Changri men, in very
strict confinement. On the morning of the 25th April, the
day after the seance, when he called to bid us farewell, and
brought us a basket of sweet biscuits for the journey, made by
his wife's own hands, he told us he would follow the Spook's
advice and keep the prisoners as contented as possible.
I learn from the book I have just quoted that he kept his
promise, and after we left Yozgad the camp was better off
in the matter of facilities for exercise than it had ever been in
our time. Two days a week there was hunting, once a week
a picnic to the pinewoods, and, on the remaining four days,
walks ; also access to the bazaar was easier to obtain. We
can justly claim that the " Black Sheep " of Yozgad brought
no harm to the rest of the flock.
CHAPTER XXIV
OF OUR MAD JOURNEY TO MARDEEN
EVER since Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri had
certified us insane we had feigned madness whenever
any Turk was near, and in the presence of some of the visitors
from the camp. We had found no great difficulty in
maintaining our roles as occasion arose, and indeed it was rather
amusing to be able to heave a brazier of charcoal at a sentry,
or try to steal his rifle, without fear of punishment. For the
strain of acting was only temporary. We contrived to give
the special sentry who was detailed to prevent us doing harm
to ourselves or others such a very hot time that he preferred
to do his tour of duty outside our room. So for most of the
hours of the twenty-four we were alone, and could be rational.
But we realized that from the moment we left our sanctuary
and started on our journey to Constantinople, our simulation
must be kept up night and day. As soon as we reached
Haidar Pasha our escort would probably be questioned about
our behaviour en route, and it was well they should corroborate
the Pimple's report of our actions. We agreed there must be
no half-measures. Alone or together, in sickness or health,
to friend and foe, at all times and under all circumstances we
must appear mad. O'Farrell warned us that the strain would
be terrible, but not even he, doctor as he was, guessed half
what it really meant. Nothing but the hope of liberty justified
the attempt, and there were times in Constantinople
when we doubted if liberty itself (which in those days was our
idea of Heaven) was worth it. Pretend to be what you are
not and the desire to be what you are grows in intensity until
it becomes an agony of the mind. Your very soul cries out
to you to be natural, to be your own " self " if only for five
minutes. Then co